LABOR RELATIONS

The direct continuation of "Thanks For the Mammaries"

By Bridgid

"Steve ..."

"Yeah, honey?"

"I think it's time?"

He sat up quickly, placing a hand on her swollen belly. "Time for the baby to come?"

"No. Time for me to eat. I want a burrito."

He lay back down beside her and breathed a sigh of relief. "If I could find a Seven Eleven on this Island I'd be more than happy to get it for you ...and a pack of Marlboro Reds for me."

"You wouldn't dare smoke around our baby!" she scolded.

"Of course not, Mil," he responded with sincerity. "...But I have cravings, too. I want

a pepperoni pizza, cheesecake and a coke."

"Great. Now I do, too. I want a coke with lots of ice, tons of ice. I want one of those slurpee things."

A needed breeze fluttered some of the broad leaves that made up the roof of their hut. The past few days had been hot and stagnant with little relief and Steve wondered how she'd tolerated it in her current condition.

"Mil, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"We've been here for a long time now. What if someone or something came along to take us away? Would you still stay with me if we got back to civilization?"

What an odd question for him to ask, she thought, but as it registered she had to wonder. Would she?

"I don't remember anything before that day we woke up here with the exception of a few flashes here and there. I know what civilization is and I know other places exist but it seems to be something I learned. It's not a memory." Grunting and groaning to turn onto her side, Millie propped her head on her hand. "Steve, I love you. Nothing's going to change it now. Who knows what would have happened if things were different but they are not and there is no...oooooh ..ohhhh..shit."

"No shit?" What the hell did she mean by that?

"Son of a bitch!"

"I'ma what?"

"Baby.."

"I'm a baby?"

"No, Steve! The baby!"

"Our baby?

"Who else's baby,  damn it! It's time!"

"Time for a burrito?"

"For the baby!”

"You want to eat the baby?"

"I want it out of me now!" Was that Linda Blair's voice coming from her? "Shit, my water just broke."

"Oh, my God! Can't you wait until morning?"

"Argh!! Ow, ow ow ow...!!" She grabbed the frantic man by his ear and tugged.

"Get it out of me!"

"I don't know how! I can't see anything in the dark!"

As the contraction subsided, Milled struggled to get up. "Help me, Steve."

"Should you be doing that? Maybe you should stay down."

"No! I've got to get up. Help me. Help me outside...Oh..Oh ...Oh !"

"Breathe. Pant like a dog , Breathe!" She couldn't see him clearly but she could hear him as he heefed and horfed.

"Get me the fuck outside, Fido. NOW!!" Okay, that was Jack Nicholson's voice.

Steve's knees knocked together as he did his best to help her up. He cringed as his bare feet found the puddle of whatever that she had under her. He managed to get her to her a standing position and she got as far as the door before her legs buckled and she groaned again. Fingernails dug into his flesh and the both of them cried out at the same time. "Fuuuuuck!"

"Millie, what am I supposed to do here?"

"I'll take care of this part. You go figure out how to do a field vasectomy."

"Okay, I know you didn't mean it."

"I meant it!" she howled. Having only seconds between contractions, Millie waddled out with Steve's help. Four steps later she barked at him again. "I hate this! I hate you!"

"What?"

"I hate you!" she umphed as she sat on the makeshift patio in front of the door. "Oh, Steve. I don't hate you. Yes, I do! You did this to me! Honey, would you sing to me?"

"Uh, you want me to sing?"

"Yes, Ow  ...oh, oh, oh, here comes another..."

"Hush little baby, don't you cry..."

"Shut the fuck up! It's coming! I need to push, it's coming!"

Poor Steve didn't know what to do. "I can't see anything in the dark."

"I feel ...heef heef hork, heef heef hork ... the baby's heeeeeead!"

 With nothing more than moonlight to guide him, Steve moved between her spread legs to look. He blinked to adjust his vision. "I think I can see it."

She bore down and pushed again.

"I can see it! I can see it! Hold on...it went back inside. Millie. Don't do that!"

Suddenly she sat up abruptly, smashing her forehead against his. Steve saw something all right, stars and little blue birds. Millie let out a banshee scream that bounced off a satellite and registered on a SETI computer in New Mexico somewhere. Some geek got a hard on but that's an entirely different story, so, on with this one. She took a deep breath as the baby's shoulders emerged and she lost her urge to push. The island's population increased to three as the little one slid the rest of the way out. By the time Steve woke up his little girl was swaddled in a tee shirt and nursing happily at her mommy's breast. The sun was rising and Millie was smiling.

"What happened?" he asked as he rubbed a hand across his forehead.

"Sorry, sweetheart. We don't have TIVO. Look, she's got ten fingers, ten toes, one nose and lots of hair."

"She?"

"Uh huh."

"Oh, my God. How did you do this, Millie? How did you get her here?" Steve slipped over to sit next to Millie. He put his arm around her and leaned in to look at his daughter. Reaching to touch the baby, he stroked lightly over her head. "She's beautiful. She's beautiful like you, Millie. Do you think she likes me?"

"No. I think she loves her daddy. Don't you ..." Turning her head to look at Steve her brow raised. "What are we going to name her?"

He didn't have to think about it. "Brooklyn." Steve affirmed. "I don't know why but it seems to fit. What do you think?"

"Brooklyn. I like it. Welcome to the world, Brooklyn." Once again Millie looked at Steve with a query. "What's your last name?"

"I don't know. What's yours?"

"I don't know." she replied. "I guess we have the same last name. It's easy to spell anyway. No letters."

"You know, Mil, I was thinking. Maybe we should get married. In fact, let me make it official." Moving so he was facing her and his beautiful daughter, Steve took Millie's hand in his. "Millie no last name, would you be my wife and take my unknown last name as yours?"

"Oh, Steve," she replied. "Yes. I'd be honored to be your wife. Now, kiss me , kiss Brooklyn and hold her for a while. I really need to sleep. It won't be long before she's hungry again."

A short while later Millie was fast asleep inside the hut. Steve sat cross-legged on the floor beside her with Brooklyn cradled in his arms. She was so small and helpless to him. Brooklyn made him feel different about his existence here. Maybe she was his purpose and she'd never be as perfect as she was without Millie as her mom.

"I love you, Brook. Thanks for being here. I promise to take good care of you and your mom." In that moment Steve discovered what unconditional love was all about. Even though the tiny newborn could barely open her eyes, he knew she loved him. He could feel it.  "What's it all about, kiddo? I don't know why I'm here but I do know why you are. You want me to tell you?" He had to smile as she wrapped her tiny hand around his finger. "I guess that means yes. Well, baby, you're here because we need you to help us create memories. In fact right now I wish I could take a picture of you. That's what I did, you know. I took pictures ...I took pictures?"

...

...

...

"MILLIE!"

ON TO "RUDE AWAKENING"

BACK TO "THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES"