Chapter Four

Tom made the last arrangements for the house he would be leasing outside of Eugene.  He saw the virtual tour on the internet and felt it would be just about perfect for the summer.  It sat in a wooded area in the foothills.  It wasn’t a mansion and didn’t have all the amenities most Hollywood stars would expect.  After all, there would only be Tom, Charlie, Rob and a nanny Tom would hire once they arrived.  Rob owned his own business and offered to go with Tom for the first couple of weeks.  He needed a break and spending time with Tom in a quiet place away from L.A. sounded good.

They hadn’t had time to relax and talk in months.  First Tom had to go to Eugene for two months to work on the movie. Then, once he returned, Rob hadn’t wanted to visit him.  The atmosphere between Fran and Tom made things unpleasant.  He saw him only on rare occasion away from the house. Tom’s work schedule at the studio lasted for another three months and didn’t allow for much personal time. 

Then Charlie was born and Tom spent every day, all day long being with him and worrying.  Even when it seemed Charlie was responding well, Rob simply couldn’t seem to get Tom to take a break from the hospital.  He’d never known anyone so devoted to his child.  When Tom called and told him Charlie was finally being released, Rob was probably as happy as Tom was.

In truth, Rob was becoming worried about his friend.  He didn’t eat well or sleep well and was beginning to show signs of wear.  When Tom told him what Doctor Evans said about taking Charlie north for the summer, Rob was half convinced he’d done it to get Tom to take a break.

They arrived at Mahlon Sweet Airport the next day and were met by the real estate agent that leased the home.  He explained that National Rental would deliver Tom’s rental car the next day and as a courtesy he would take them to the house.  Sander Holland helped Rob load their luggage into his SUV while Tom buckled Charlie in the child safety seat.  Once he was done, Tom took a moment to look around, remembering the night he flew out of Eugene.  He thought about Charley and wondered if she was happy living in Florida.  Was Jax taking care of her this time or was he the same asshole he was when she left him?  Tom sighed, sometimes things just aren’t supposed to work out.  He wished it could have been otherwise.

The house, though comfortable, wasn’t what most people would expect Tom Hayden to live in.  It had four bedrooms, a den, living room, a large kitchen and a pool.  It was upper middle class but not fancy.  Tom and Rob felt right at home.  It reminded them of the homes they came from in Eureka California. 

Tom and Rob were friends since elementary school and both lived in northern California until after high school.  When Tom left for New York and his dream to become an actor, Rob went to M.I.T. and became an engineer.  They kept in contact during their time apart and managed to take vacations at least once a year together.  They both were ‘only’ children, and when Tom’s parents died, Rob was there as a brother.  When Rob’s parents passed away several years later, Tom stood at their graves as a son.  Neither one returned to Eureka except for the occasional wedding of a friend or a high school reunion.

Charlie was safely sleeping in his crib and Tom checked on him one last time before joining Rob on the patio.  Rob already had a cold beer waiting for him as he sat down in one of the lounge chairs.

“So why did you pick Eugene, Tom?  I mean it’s beautiful here and I doubt anyone would expect you to come here for vacation, but what was the attraction?”

“I don’t know, Rob.  Maybe I just wanted to come back and see it during the summer.”

Rob knew Tom well enough to know there was more to it than was being said.  He also knew Tom would tell him when he was ready. 

“You know, I didn’t love Fran, hadn’t been in love with her for sometime before she left me, but I would never have wished her dead.  When I found out she had actually planned to abort Charlie, I hated her.  It just didn’t seem right that she would be so cold about something so special. I knew she didn’t want him but I never thought she would actually put her career ahead of his life.  I mean, she could feel him move, she knew he was little and defenseless, what was she thinking?”

“Fran was self absorbed.  I tried to tell you how she was, remember?  You were so in love you couldn’t see it.  That was the only time we ever went to blows.” 

Rob was recalling the night before Tom’s wedding.  They were at the bachelor party and everyone was already smashed.  Tom had made mention that he hoped Fran didn’t turn out to be a user like the women in his past.  All Rob said was, if he wasn’t sure, maybe Tom should re-consider getting married.  They got into a serious shouting match and Rob pointed out some of Fran’s lesser qualities.  Tom told him to shut up and things digressed into a slugging match.  The next day, both Tom and Rob were sporting shiners as groom and best man.  They neither one forgot the scathing tongue lashing Fran had given them.  Even though the photographer had touched up all the wedding pictures, Fran never let them forget how they had ruined her wedding.

Charley needed to go to Sacred Heart Hospital to sign up for the Lamaze courses.  She had spoken with her doctor about her birthing options and decided to have the baby totally natural.  No drugs, no blocks, no outside influences.  Of course if something unexpected happened, Charley agreed that she would allow Doctor Cranshaw full charge in whatever course of action the situation demanded.

Charley needed a ‘coach’ and though she was born and raised here, she had no close girlfriends.  The two girls she was close to during high school had both moved out of state and after Charley went to Florida she just lost touch with her more peripheral friendships.

Her truly best friend was Jake.  He was the big brother she never had.  Charley was an only child and her parents were also only children.  As such, her family was non-existent.  Her father had died at 35 in a logging accident and her mother followed at 47 of breast cancer.  Maybe that was why she bonded with Jerry’s family so quickly.  He was the third child of seven and when she first met the family, they made her welcome.  It was like suddenly being given six siblings.  She missed his family and had kept in touch even after her marriage to Jax.  But they all lived in Seattle where Charley met Jerry during a multi-state high school singing competition. 

She was doing it again, standing like a statue, remembering something and being so absorbed she forgot where she was.  She went to the room the hospital information lady gave her and signed the sheet and paid the tuition for both her and Jake.  He had agreed to be her coach after making certain Danette was all right about it.

Charley was walking through the emergency room intending to leave through that entrance, since it was closer to her bus stop.  Two men nearly ran through the entrance with a small baby.  One shouted, “We need help! This baby’s in trouble!” 

The other man had his back to her, but when he spoke, a shiver ran through her.  “Please, my son's very sick.”

“Tom?” Before he even turned, she knew it was him.  “What’s wrong with Charlie?”

He looked at her as if he didn’t recognize her for a moment.  “Charley?  Oh, Jesus, Charley!  Help me!”

Before Charley could do anything a nurse took the baby from Tom’s arms and looked the infant over.  She turned to Tom and Rob.  “We need to get him into an exam room.  Stay here and give his information to the desk nurse.  I’ll have a doctor look at him right away.”  When Tom started to protest, she said, “Your son is obviously sick.  The best thing for you to do is give us all the information you can so we can help him.”

Rob handed the admitting nurse a large manila envelope.  “This is his medical history.  Please be careful not to lose it.”

Tom was nervous while giving the desk nurse Charlie’s information.  When she got the basic information necessary, she took the envelope to the room where the baby was being examined.

Charley started to leave thinking Tom was too absorbed in what was happening to notice.  “Charley, where are you going?” 

She turned to him and realized he needed her to be there.  It was all in his face.  He had a good friend with him, but he needed her as well.  She smiled, “I need something to drink. How about you two?”

“Tom, stay here and I’ll help…Charley, is it?” 

“It’s really Charlene, but it got shortened.”  Charley shook his hand.

“My name’s Rob Sheridan.”

They went to the little room off the ER and fed dollar bills into the coffee/cappuccino/hot chocolate machine.  When they returned, Tom was pacing back and forth.  It had seemed an eternity that Charlie was in the examining room and still no word.

“Tom, come sit down.  They’ll tell us what is going on as soon as they know.”  Charley put her hand on his arm and he covered it with his own.

He looked in her face. “God, Charley, it was like my guardian angel arrived when I saw you.”

She gently led him to one of the rows of molded plastic seats and made him sit down.  Rob handed him one of the hot chocolates and told him to sip.

“What are you doing here, Charley?  I never thought I’d see you again.”  Tom hadn’t taken the time to really look at her until now.  He’d only seen her face, like a picture on a wall, one that you study closely so you can remember every nuance.  He took a moment to shift his gaze down to her swollen belly.  “I heard you and Jax got back together.  Is that why you came home again?”  He indicated her pregnant state and remembered Jax’s threat about her ever getting pregnant again.

He thinks Jax is the father, Charley thought.  Well, perhaps it’s best if I leave it that way.  “No, I came home because it’s where I want to be.  Jax died of a heart attack and I saw no reason to stay in Florida once the apartment sold.”

Tom took Charley’s hand.  “I’m sorry.  Did he know about the baby before…?”

“No.” Charley shifted trying to get comfortable in the hard seat.  “That’s why I’m here at the hospital.  I came to sign up for the natural child birth classes.  I want to be ready when it happens.”

Rob sat watching the pair.  He didn’t know the situation, Tom hadn’t mentioned her to him, but it was apparent that something had happened between them.  “So when are you due?”

“November 15^th.”  Charley said it automatically and immediately regretted it.  If Tom thought about it closely enough, he’d realize Jax couldn’t be the father.  Maybe he wouldn’t put two and two together.

“Mr. Hayden?”  A young doctor stood in front of Tom.  He recognized him right away.  After all, he’d seen nearly every movie Tom starred in.  The doctor’s wife dragged him to every one.  “I’m Doctor Johnson, staff pediatrician.”

Tom quickly stood and shook his hand.  “How’s my son?”  Tom’s face was a mass of worry.  Charley and Rob also rose and stood next to Tom.

“He’ll be fine.  He has an upper respiratory infection starting, but we can give him antibiotics to counter that.  I’d like to keep him here overnight just to monitor him and make sure he has no adverse reactions.”  The doctor smiled, “I’ve never been given an entire medical history on any patient, in such detail.  Considering what he’s gone through I can understand your carrying it around.”

“Can I see him now?”

“Sure.  But as soon as they call down for him, you’ll need to let them get him settled in.”

Dr. Johnson started back to the exam room, but Tom stopped and asked Charley, “Stay here, okay?  Wait for me?”

Charley just nodded.  She went and sat back down hoping the chair would feel softer than before. It didn’t.  Rob resumed his place next to her to wait.

“So how long have you known Tom?”  She smiled as she asked Rob.  Yes, he could see how Tom would be drawn to her.  She reminded Rob of a girl they knew back home, sweet, pretty, a real ‘girl next door’.   They had both vied for her affections and though she never led either of them on, she nearly cost them their friendship.  When she announced she was marrying the captain of the track team right after graduation, they patched up their differences.  Both agreed a woman would never come between them again.  He wasn’t so sure now.  Even pregnant, Charley was a woman worth considering.

Rob was every bit as handsome as Tom.  His dark brown eyes had flecks of gold and his darker skin and near raven black hair with its soft waves hinted at possibly Indian or Hispanic blood.  He was slightly taller than Tom and muscular, not an athlete, but someone who worked at looking good.  If Charley weren’t already in love with Tom, Rob would be a real possibility.  Oh sure, like any man would entertain the idea of dating a six-month pregnant woman.

“Tom and I go way back.  We met in elementary school.  He moved to Eureka and we just sort of clicked.  He’s been my best friend all these years.  How about you?  How’d you guys meet?”

“I was a waitress at the hotel he stayed in while filming The Cardinal.  We started off pretty badly, but we became friends.”  Well, if he hadn’t mentioned her to his best friend, Tom must have gotten over her pretty fast.  Maybe she had read more into his look than was really there.

They sat and chatted for another fifteen minutes, then Tom joined them.

“They came to take Charlie up to the pediatrics ward.  He was grumpy, but they gave him some medicine and he was nearly asleep when they came.  I want to go see him before we leave.”

“You’re actually going to leave?”  Rob couldn’t believe Tom wouldn’t insist on staying.

Tom grinned shyly, “Dr. Johnson told me they have strict rules in the ward and he expects me to follow them.  It’s only for one night, so I gave in.  Besides, the nurse who came for Charlie looks like Bruiser Callahan.”  Tom and Rob laughed, then, explained to Charley that ‘Bruiser’ was a line backer on their high school football team. He had been approached right after high school by the San Diego Chargers.

Fifteen minutes later the little disk the admittance nurse gave Tom started flashing and lightly pulsating.  He went to the desk and she told him Charlie was set up in his room and gave Tom the number.  He returned to Charley and Rob. “He’s settled in. Do you want to go with me?  I want to check on him one more time before we leave.”

They both nodded and followed Tom to the elevators.  The nurse at the station gave them directions and they quickly found little Charlie fast asleep in his crib. A nice older lady was just finishing adjusting his blanket as they walked up.  “Are you his parents?”  She smiled at Tom.

“I’m his dad.”

She looked at Charley. “Well, it looks as though you two will be standing at your own crib soon.  Do you know the sex yet?”  She had assumed that Charley and Rob were together. 

“No, we want to be surprised.”  Rob slipped his arm around Charley’s waist and planted a kiss on her cheek.  “How’s my Godson?”

The nurse smiled, thinking what a good looking couple they were.  If the baby looked like either of them it would be beautiful.   “He’s doing fine. He’ll probably sleep mostly for the next eight or ten hours.  We have your number, so we can contact you if any problems occur.  I wouldn’t worry about that, though.  Dr. Johnson is very conscientious.  He keeps a close watch on his patients, especially when they have the background this little one has.”

The nurse hadn’t noticed the disapproving look on Tom’s face when Rob slipped his arm around his ‘wife’s’ waist.  He didn’t like it one bit.  Instead of correcting the lady he turned and reached into the crib, softly stroking Charlie’s tiny head.  At two months old he wasn’t even as big as a normal newborn.  Tom didn’t see Rob kiss Charley.

After a couple of minutes, Tom was satisfied that his son was being tended to properly.  “Well, I guess we’d better get out of here and let Charlie sleep.”  He looked at Rob standing next to Charley and hesitated.  They made a nice-looking couple.  No wonder the nurse misunderstood.  Rob had never married and Tom had always wondered why.  He was handsome, made good money and had women falling at his feet.  When it came to love, though, he seemed always to hold any relationship at arm's length.  Seeing him so ready to accept the mantle of expectant father stunned Tom.  Did he have to act so comfortable with her?

They left the pediatrics ward and made their way back to the ER.  As they walked out into the late afternoon heat, Charley shivered.  She hadn’t realized how cold she’d been and the heat created goose bumps on her skin.  Rob noticed. “You okay, Charlene?”

Charley wasn’t used to anyone calling her by her given name.  Only Jax had done that.  He felt ‘Charley’ wasn’t a proper name for the wife of a successful lawyer.  After all, she would be seen at all the right parties and get-togethers.   A man of his stature could hardly introduce his wife with a man’s name. It just didn’t sound right.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  I just didn’t realize how cold it was in the hospital.  I guess it was a shock when I hit the heat.”

“You look tired. Why don’t you come with us and have something to eat?  Maybe relax for a little while?”  Rob definitely wanted to spend some more time with her.  He caught Tom’s expression at Charlie’s crib.  Rob wanted to see if Tom was interested enough to be jealous.  He knew how much his friend had wanted a real marriage and several kids.  Rob had never given it serious thought.  Oh, he loved his godson and would have done anything necessary for him, but the thought of being a full time father and faithful to one woman just wasn’t his style. 

He wanted that for Tom, though, and over the last year Tom had developed a disinterest in women.  At least he seemed to.  To Rob’s knowledge he wasn’t unfaithful to Fran, though he no doubt had plenty of opportunities.  However, the comment about Charley’s due date stuck with Rob.  Tom hadn’t mentioned her to him, but his reaction at Charlie’s crib seemed to indicate an interest.

“Yeah, Charley, come with us.  I leased a house for the summer.  It’s up on Spencer’s Butte.  We could relax by the pool and you could tell me what’s been happening.”  Tom definitely didn’t want her to walk away. 

Charley finally accepted and they drove to the house in the hills.  Tom took her on a quick tour of the house to make her comfortable.  Then he made her sit in one of the lounge chairs on the patio.  Her ankles were starting to swell and her back was killing her.  Tom left her while he went to shower and change.  By the time the friends slipped onto the patio, Charley was asleep.  The light softly shining through the trees made her look like a dark-haired angel. 

“Let’s let her sleep.”  Tom motioned to Rob and they silently stepped back through the open sliding doors.  Tom found a comfortable chair to sit in and Rob lounged back on the couch.

“So give.  Who’s Charley and what’s the deal?”  Rob had been itching to ask Tom since they left the hospital.

“I met Charley when I was here working.  She was waiting tables at the hotel restaurant.  We didn’t hit it off at first.”  Tom grinned, thinking about how she’d told him to ‘go home’ with just the right restraint and eloquence.  “She’s got a temper, that one.  I pushed her buttons the first night we met and if she hadn’t spoken to me again, I’d have had it coming.  I was being a real jerk.  Anyway, we got past my being an asshole and just became friends.  I really hadn’t looked for it to be anything more, what with the divorce and Fran’s constant demands.  But Charley was so understanding about my job and the pressure, I started going to the restaurant anytime I knew she was there, especially in the mornings.  There were never many people and she would sit and talk to me.  She always got me on the right mental track for the day.  I found her attractive, but I also realized I ‘liked’ her.  I even thought maybe once the divorce was over we could go on a date.  I had hoped the divorce would become final before the movie was done, and I could ask Charley to come to L.A. with me. Then Fran called and told me she was pregnant and I had to live with her again.” Tom sighed, remembering how disappointed he was when he realized he wouldn’t be able to see Charley openly.  “When I found out Charley had gone back to her ex-husband, I never expected to see her again.” 

“So did you sleep with her?”

“That’s none of your fuckin’ business!”

“How many times?”

“Christ, Rob!”

“How many times?”

“Once, okay?  Fran had just called to tell me she was pregnant and demanded that I come home to live and extend the final divorce decree until later.  I wanted to tell Charley how I felt.  I wanted her to know I’d be back for her once Fran and I divorced.  I wanted to know if she felt the same.”

“Did she?”

“I don’t know.  She was so lonely and she’d already been hurt in two marriages.  I wasn’t sure if I’d be doing her a favor or a disservice by telling her.  So I didn’t.  But I never forgot about her.  When Charlie was born, I named him for her.”  Tom sat examining his drink.  Now that she was here, back in his life, would she be willing to forgive him not contacting her?  After all, it had been nearly eight months since they saw one another.  He didn’t know whether she and Jax had come to an understanding before his death. If she had still been in love with Jax she might not be receptive to a new relationship.  He’d just have to wait and see.

“So how long has it been since you saw one another?”  Rob knew full well how long it had been.  He was putting two and two together but Tom seemed to have skipped over it.

“Almost eight months.”  Tom suddenly got a strange look on his face.  He did some mental back counting.  Oh, fuck!  He wanted to wake up Charley and ask her if what he thought was true, instead he sat like quick-drying cement.  He couldn’t seem to get up.

Rob didn’t pursue the possibility of Tom being the father of Charley’s baby.  But from the look on Tom’s face, he’d obviously come to that conclusion as well.  “I think I’ll see what’s in the fridge and maybe get some dinner started.  How about some barbequed steak?  I think we have some fresh porterhouse.”

“What I’d really like is one of Charley’s Internationals.  I haven’t had one since I left.”

“I think that could be arranged.”  Charley was standing just inside the doorway smiling.

“What’s an International?”  Rob watched as Tom smiled at Charley. 

“It’s the reason we became friends.”  Charley laughed and explained the incident behind the creation of the International as she sat down on the easy chair next to Tom.

“So what you’re saying is you really just wanted to shut him up,”  Rob laughed.  That wasn’t always easy when Tom was high.

“Well, it worked.  He didn’t say two words to me the rest of the night.  I thought at first that he ate it so it wouldn’t give me the satisfaction of disappointing him.  When I came back to work two days later I found out he’d pestered the kitchen daily for another one.”  She glanced over at Tom.  “I even trained the chefs to make it and gave Tom exclusive rights.  After he left, they put it on the menu.”

“Yeah, I had it several times, but it never tasted as good as when you made it.  There was always something missing.”

Charley didn’t say it but she had left out one ingredient when training the chefs.  None of them could add what she did.

“Well, if one of you would help me, I’ll see if we have what we need.”

Charley went to the kitchen and began looking in the spice rack.  All the spices she needed were there, but when she checked the refrigerator, found it short several things.  “I don’t have what I need. Maybe I could make it for you another time?”

Rob piped up, “Why don’t you write down what you need and I’ll run to the store.  There’s a good butcher shop close and a Safeway next to it.  I can get everything and be back in less than an hour.”  Charley wrote down everything she needed and Rob left on his quest.  He offered to go in order to give them time alone. 

“Charley, why don’t you come sit down?  Your ankles are still swollen and you still look tired.”  He was standing next to her at the kitchen counter.

“I’m all right, Tom.  It comes with the territory.”  He wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer and slipped his arm around her waist, urging her to the couch.  He sat next to her and tried to decide how to approach her about the baby.

“I’ve missed you.  I tried to call you at the hotel, but the girl who answered said you went back to Florida, back to Jax.”

Charley wasn’t sure whether she should tell him the truth or allow him to draw his own conclusions.  In the end, she decided truth, whatever the consequences, was always better than deception. 

“I went back to Florida, but it was because I had to handle Jax’s estate.  He died unexpectedly and left me with everything.”

“Then the baby wasn’t his?”  He watched as she looked down at her hands. 

“No.”

“Is it mine?”  He saw her tense and took her hand.  She swallowed hard and nodded.

He slipped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her to his chest.  He put his hand protectively on her belly.  “I’m glad.  I love you, Charley.  I wanted to tell you that before I left, I just didn’t want to hurt you more than you already had been.  I guess I thought you’d stay here until Fran and I divorced, then I’d come back and get you.  Rob always told me I assume too much.”

It felt so good to be wrapped in his embrace.  Charley let go her fears and cuddled into him.  God, she hadn’t been with anyone since him.  Truth to tell, she never wanted anyone but him.  Just being held and being told she was loved was enough.  “I love you, too.  I watched the TV and saw how hard it was for you with little Charlie.  I wanted to call or something, but I was afraid you’d forgotten about me.”

“I didn’t forget.”  He drew her into a kiss, soft and sweet.  “Stay with me tonight?  I want to make up for lost time.”

She nodded, giggling.  “You ever made love to a pregnant woman?”  She immediately regretted the question.  He’d been living with Fran while she was pregnant. They must have….

“No.  Except for the night I got her pregnant, Fran and I never slept together again.  If we hadn’t both been drunk and horny Charlie would never have happened.  I missed all the changes she went through and, except for you, I haven’t slept with anyone since.”

Tom thought about the night they spent together.  They were both drunk, but he had tried to show Charley how he felt.  He couldn’t bring himself to say it and when he said ‘good-bye’ the next morning, he was afraid he’d fallen short.  He wanted to see her and explain, but between his schedule and his fear that someone would recognize his feelings for her, he kept away.  He decided to call her when he reached L.A.  He took a moment to explain this to her.  “…But Fran immediately threatened me with an abortion if I didn’t play the loving husband.  Fran was taking the pregnancy far worse than I first realized.  She used it as a battering ram.  She didn’t give a damn if I fucked the entire world, but not until after she had the baby and her freedom.

"‘You will not embarrass me in front of the world’, she told me.  ‘Once the baby’s born you can fuck everything walking and I’ll simply let the media think it was your fault we split again.  I could care less about your career, but I don’t want mine ruined by scandal.  If I find out you have someone stashed, forget about being a father.’

"I couldn’t take a chance that Fran would follow through, so I waited two long, miserable months before calling.  I made it sound as though I was calling to get the recipe for the International in case Fran overheard or had the phones bugged.  I wouldn’t have put that past her. In fact, neither of us withdrew our divorce suits. We simply asked the judge to extend his final ruling until after the baby was born.”

Charley could tell he needed to say more.  “So was it Fran’s fault Charlie was so premature, or did she really go into labor unexpectedly?”

“No, she decided she couldn’t stand being pregnant and got some Colombian doctor to give her an inducer.  It’s terrible to say, but she got what she deserved.  Charlie suffered for her selfishness.  All she had to do was wait two more months.  She could have had him a little earlier than normal without creating a problem for him or her.  He wouldn’t have had all the problems he has now and she could have been on her way.  I guess she just couldn’t wait. 

"I even went so far as to tell her I would pay her the child support as an increase in her alimony if she’d just give me custody after he was born.  Do you know what she said?”  Charley shook her head ‘no’.  “She said if I could afford to do that maybe she wasn’t asking enough.  But she’d consider giving me the baby if I’d increase her alimony by the child support amount and another ten thousand.  All the bitch wanted was money.”

Charley could see how angry he had been with Fran.  “I’m sorry.  You deserved better than that; so did Charlie.  He’s such a sweet little package.  I think he’s going to look like you with all that dark hair.”  She stroked his face and he kissed her again.  She could feel his arousal as he pulled her closer.  Her hand slid down and caressed him. 

“Better stop that.  Rob will be home before we have a chance to do anything about it.”

“Well, then we’ll save it for dessert.”  Charley giggled and stroked him again.  They heard Rob pull into the driveway and she pulled away from Tom.  “I need to get up and get started.”

Charley washed her hands and Tom made her sit at the bar.  He began handing her a bowl, the spices, and three eggs. Rob sat the groceries on the bar and started pulling everything out.  He handed her the ground steak, bacon bits and the Swiss cheese.  “Where’s the horseradish mustard?”

Rob handed it to her. “I didn’t forget.”

Rob made them a drink and poured Charley an apple juice.  The men watched as she mixed the meat with her hands.  “My mother always said, ‘You can’t mix properly unless you mix with your hands.  It’s the love in your hands that gives it the extra flavor.’  I think she was right.” 

Tom thought so, too.  He couldn’t fathom the chefs mixing with their hands, but somehow he knew Charley did, even at the restaurant.

Rob was as enthusiastic about the International as Tom was.  “If you can make what is basically a hamburger taste this good, what can you do with, say, a leg of lamb?”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to cook for you guys again and you can judge for yourself.”

They talked until nearly ten o’clock.  Rob kept noticing the looks Tom gave Charley.  He was sitting with her on the couch, holding her hand.  “Well, I’ve had a big enough day.  I think I’ll hit the sack.”  He gave Charley a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for a nice dinner.  “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I didn’t realize we were so obvious.”  Charley was giggling as he walked away.

“Are you kidding?  Rob normally would have been up until at least midnight.  He’s really giving us a break.”

Once Rob disappeared down the hallway, Tom again pulled Charley into a kiss.  Before long they were exploring each other with clothes only partially on.  Tom stopped, climbed off the couch and took Charley’s hand, helping her up.  “Let’s do this right.”  He led her to his bedroom and closed the door.  Though they’d slept together before, he could see she was a little nervous. 

Tom kissed her and held her for several minutes, trying to reassure her of his feelings.  When he finally began to undress her, she wanted the lights off.  “No, Baby.  I want to see you.”

“But I don’t look very good right now.  I’m all belly and not sexy at all.” 

“Let me be the judge of that.”  He unbuttoned and slipped her cotton blouse off her shoulders.  He kissed her neck and shoulders, then reached to unhook her bra.  He stood looking at how much larger her breasts were than when he last saw them.  He ran his hands down her sides to the elastic top shorts and slid them down to the floor.  She stepped back and he stood looking at her.  She was self-conscious and crossed her arms over her belly.  Tom grabbed her hands, holding them out to her sides.  “Don’t ever cover up in front of me.  You look beautiful.” 

They made love slowly, carefully.  Tom was afraid of hurting Charley and the baby.  When they finally fell asleep, Tom was wrapped around her protectively.  He rubbed her belly and kissed her neck.  “Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”

The next morning Charley woke to an empty bed.  She got up, took a shower and found her clothes from the day before, folded on the chair.  The house was quiet as she padded into the living room, then to the kitchen.  She found a note on the counter.

Charley,

          Hope you slept well.  I ran your clothes through the wash.  Rob and I are going to the hospital.  Charlie took a turn for the worse and I had to go.  I’ll call you around ten and let you know what’s happening.

Love, Tom

Charley immediately called the hospital looking for information.  They gave her the standard, ‘He’s doing as well as can be expected’ run around.  She wanted to go to the hospital but the buses didn’t run this far out.  She immediately called a cab.  Forty-five minutes later she walked into the ward.  She saw Rob but not Tom.  “What’s wrong with Charlie?”

“Doctor Johnson called and said his temp went way up.  The antibiotic wasn’t working like it should.  They changed to a different kind and he had a reaction.  I’ve been waiting for Tom to let me know what’s happening.”

They went to the small waiting room hoping for some news soon.   Rob finally went to find coffee for them while Charley paced and worried.  A nurse came and asked if Charley knew Rob Chandler.  She explained he was getting coffee.  “What’s going on?  Where is Tom?”

The nurse wasn’t going to tell her anything since she wasn’t family or the man that the nurse was looking for.  “Will you tell Mr. Hayden, Charlene Casey is here?  I’m sure he’ll want to know.”

The nurse went off to deliver the message and Rob returned right after.  “What do you mean she wouldn’t tell you anything?”

“I guess it has something to do with the fact that Tom is a celebrity.  They don’t want to give out information that might leak to the press.”

Tom showed up not two minutes later.  He looked worried as he gave Charley a kiss.  He turned to Rob, “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know what was going on sooner.  They seem to have gotten his temperature down some.  He’s having, a hard time breathing.  The doctor is worried he’ll develop pneumonia.  Rob, why don’t you take Charley back to her house and you go to my place.  I’m not leaving Charlie alone and there’s nothing either of you can do except sit here.” 

Both Rob and Charley started to object.  Tom cut them off with, “Rob, Charley can’t sit here all day.  She needs to be able to relax.  I don’t want the stress to create a problem for the baby.”  He turned to her. “I don’t want to have to worry about you as well as Charlie.  Please, honey, go home.  I promise I’ll call you.”

“I’ll take Charley back to her place, but don’t expect me not to come back.  Someone has to make sure you take time to eat.”  Rob had been through this before.  Tom would literally fast in order to stay with the baby.  “By the way, things are getting a little confusing with two Charlies.  Maybe it’s time you started calling her Charlene.”

Tom thought about that. “Maybe Rob’s right.  It could be a little confusing, especially since I want both of you with me.”  He kissed her again.  “Go with Rob and I promise I’ll call as soon as I know Charlie’s out of danger.”  He hugged her and whispered in her ear, “I love you, Charlene.”  Somehow it didn’t sound right.  It was too formal, too stiff.  He liked the more relaxed ‘Charley’.

Charley went home but couldn’t relax.  She spent the day wandering from one room to the other.  She couldn’t stop worrying about Tom.  If anything happened to Charlie, she knew he would have a very hard time dealing with it.  True to his word, Tom finally called just before ten that night.  Charlie was doing better.  “They’re running me out for the night.  Will you come home with me?  I need you close.”

She threw some things in an overnight bag and waited for Tom and Rob to pick her up.  When they arrived at Tom’s place they went immediately to bed.  All three were exhausted.

The next morning Charley woke to soft kisses on her shoulder.  Tom was lightly rubbing her belly and talking softly.  She turned over and smiled.  “I like the way you chose to wake me up.  Have you heard from the hospital?”

Tom lightly smoothed the hair away from Charley’s face and kissed her.  “I called a few minutes ago and they said he’s much better.  I want to go see him but not this minute.”

He began with soft kisses on her face and nose.  He soon began exploring other areas and they made love.  He lay there afterward thinking how Charley nourished him, body and soul.  He kept returning to her name.  Charley fit her.  It wasn’t a man’s name when applied to her.  It was soft yet capable.  That’s what she was.  “Charley, I’ve been thinking.  You’ve been wearing your name a lot longer than little Charlie has.  I think we should start calling him something else.   He doesn’t really perceive himself as ‘Charlie’ yet.  What do you think?”

“I suppose it would be less confusing, but it doesn’t matter what you call me.”

“I like Charley.  You know I named Charlie for you.”

“Did you really?  I wondered why you called him Charles.  She thought for a moment, “We could call him Carlos; I think that’s the Spanish equivalent.”

“Carlos, Carlos.  I don’t know.”

Charley thought about it a little more, “He reminds me of a tiny tree frog they call Coqui in Puerto Rico.  They’re very small and cute.”

“Coqui.  Hm, I kind of like that.  Let’s ask Rob what he thinks.”

When they told him, Rob laughed, “A coqui is a frog!  What!  You think he’s going to turn into a prince after he’s kissed?”  Rob was hysterical with delight.  “After all look at me. I’ve been kissed and I’m still a coqui!”  After he calmed down, Rob explained that his grandmother was from Puerto Rico.  She always called him Coqui when they visited her.

“You never told me that.”  Tom knew his grandmother lived in PR but he never said anything about the nickname.

“I hated it, even though she said it was good luck.  I didn’t want you telling the rest of the guys and end up with a frog name as a moniker.”

“Well,” Charley said, “maybe it would bring Charlie good luck.  Or, we could call him Tommy.”

“Well, whatever we call him, I want to go see him.”  Tom got up to go change.

“If you don’t mind, I’m staying here.  I have to call the office and send some e-mails.  If I don’t I’m liable to return to a dead business.”  Rob had ignored his thriving business long enough.

“Suit yourself.  I’ll call and let you know how he’s doing.  Charley, how about you?  If you want to stay here, it’s okay.”  Tom didn’t want her to feel she had to come.  After all, Charlie wasn’t her son.

“No, I want to go.  Just let me put some makeup on and I’m ready.”

By the time they got to the hospital, Charlie looked a hundred percent better.  He had pink in his cheeks and his breathing was no longer labored.  Charley watched as Tom carefully picked him up.  The baby immediately cuddled into his father.  She sat and watched Tom explain what happened and why, and he introduced him to Charley.  He told the baby that since he had the same name as his future stepmom, he would be called Tommy instead of Charlie.  Future step mom?  Tom hadn’t said anything about getting married. 

Tom asked if Charley wanted to hold the baby and she couldn’t resist.  He seemed so tiny.  Her experience with babies was limited to caring for Jerry’s nephews and nieces.  They always babysat together and most of the responsibility was on Jerry.  He could change a diaper with the best of them.  He would have been a great father.  Tom watched as Charley’s face changed from pleased to sad.

“Honey, I’m sorry. I forgot about the baby you lost.  Maybe I should take Charlie.”

“No, I wasn’t thinking about the baby I lost.  I was just thinking how much like Jerry you are.  He would have been a good father, like you.  He wanted that more than anything.”  She began rocking and quietly humming as the little tree frog fell asleep.

They went to lunch at the hospital cafeteria and took a stroll in the small garden outside.  Sacred Heart is a Catholic hospital, and there were several benches with religious statues to remind the visitor that God had a plan, but always listened to prayers.  They sat on a bench and just enjoyed the peace.

“Future stepmom?”  Charley said it out loud without meaning to.

“I guess I was assuming again.  Maybe you don’t want to take on the responsibility of a small sickly child, especially since your own is coming soon.”  Tom was hoping she wouldn’t tell him he was right.

“No, it’s just that nothing was said about getting married.  I mean, we just started seeing each other.  We never dated before and, well, maybe if we did you’d change your mind.”

“I don’t think so, but if you want me to court you I will.  You deserve to be romanced and courted.”

Charley laughed, “I think we already put the cart before the horse.”  She patted her stomach and lifted his hand to kiss it.  “You don’t have to do that.  I just want you to be absolutely certain before we say ‘I do’.  I’d never want you to marry me because of the baby.  I would never deny you being a part of his or her life, irregardless of whether we married.”

“I know that. It’s an important part of why I love you.”

Chapter Five

For the second time in his life Tom stood with Rob at his side as best man.  Once Charley agreed to marry him, Tom wasted no time in putting things in motion.  He wasn’t going to take a chance that she would change her mind.  They ‘dated’ less than a month when he put the engagement ring on her finger.  He had no doubts how he felt about her.   His cousins had come with their families from Idaho, Charley invited Jerry’s family from Seattle, and there were a few friends from L.A. and Eureka.  All told 150 people sat waiting for the nuptials to begin. 

The familiar strains of the Wedding March could be heard and Tom and Rob looked to the front of the church for Jake and Charley.  Even at nearly nine months pregnant, she was radiant.  Her empire waist dress couldn’t disguise the expanding Hayden clan.  The media would have a field day when writing about this.  Charley had mentioned the probability that they would realize Tom had been unfaithful to Fran.  He hated the idea of her being the other woman, but he was nonchalant about becoming a father again.  If the media jerks didn’t like it, too bad.  The record spoke for itself. 

Fran’s autopsy had revealed the truth and her missed appointment for the abortion, was found by a reporter.  It was argued that she did it because Tom was being unfaithful, but the blood test indicating an inducer, showed she was uncaring about the well being of her child.  It looked less like Fran was the sweet girl next door and when the terms of the divorce showed she pressed for more money and wanted no custody, the public was less critical of Tom.  After all, who could blame a man for not wanting a woman who would consider risking her baby’s life by deliberately having him too early, then accept money for giving him up?

Tommy was there in the front row with, Joe, one of Jerry’s brothers and his wife.  They seemed genuinely happy for Charley and Joe held Tommy as if he were a nephew.  Jake looked as if he were going to cry as he walked her down the aisle and placed her hand in Tom’s.  Charley reached up and kissed Jake on the cheek.  “Thank you,” she whispered.

The reception was beautiful and fun.  It wasn’t one of those stuffy Hollywood weddings.  They had fun music and everyone enjoyed themselves.  The bridal couple left the party in full swing to go on a short honeymoon at a nice hotel on the Oregon Coast.  Rob had gone back to California and returned for the wedding, promising to stay at Tom’s place with the nanny they hired to take care of Tommy.   Tom felt much happier once he knew Rob would be there. 

They returned just two weeks before Roberta Patricia Hayden was born.  When she put in her appearance she gave everyone a scare by being delivered by her daddy in the back of the rented SUV on the way to the hospital. 

Charley was still sleeping after an exciting night.  Tom sat watching her.  He had gone to the nursery several times to look at his new little girl.  She was so much bigger and more robust than Tommy was when he was born.  Tom couldn’t stop looking at her and thanking God that she was healthy.  The nurses kept trying to get him to go home and get some sleep, but he knew he would never be able to close his eyes.  He was on an all time high, his son was doing well, he had a wonderful new wife and a beautiful daughter.  He was afraid if he closed his eyes he’d wake up and find it was all a dream.

When he finally fell asleep it was in the recliner next to Charley’s bed.  He didn’t wake up until he heard the soft crying of his daughter as the nurse brought her to meet her mother.  Charley was awake and cuddling Bobbie to her.  She slipped her gown down so the baby could nurse.  Tom sat watching.  Charley looked like she had done this many times.  She was going to be a good mother. 

Tom got up and sat on the side of the bed, stroking the baby’s hair.  “You’re so beautiful.”

“Yes, she is.”  Charley couldn’t have been happier.  She was secretly pleased that he was as attentive to Bobbie as he was to Tommy. 

“I was talking about you.  What did I do to deserve you?”  She looked into his face and realized he meant every word.  Tom didn’t realize it but Charley had considerable concerns about how Tom really felt.  She was afraid he was ‘grateful’ in the wake of Fran’s abuse.  She had taken to being Tommy’s mother and the combination could have added up to his loving her as a rebound or a port in the storm.  They really hadn’t had a chance to cement their relationship when the baby came, and she was afraid he would stay with her because he wanted and needed the security of family.  It was something neither of them had outside of his cousins and her extended family from her marriage to Jerry.

But watching him with his daughter and the look he gave her spoke volumes.  Possibly somewhere in the future he would realize what she already considered.  Until then, she would do her best to be everything he needed. 

Charley hated L.A. and the constant attention of the press.  She couldn’t go anywhere without being photographed or asked questions.  Tom had hired a nanny to help her with the babies.  Being a new mother with one baby would have been hard enough.  With two it was nearly too much.  She adjusted fairly fast and managed to handle both children with reasonable efficiency.   But being a new mother with no experience and physically not yet fully recovered, resulted in Tom finding her crying one morning after feeding Bobbie.  She told him she just had a set of ‘the blues’ and couldn’t seem to stop crying.

“I’m hiring a nanny, Honey.  I know you don’t really want someone living here with us, but you can’t handle two infants by yourself.  If I didn’t have to work I could help but it’s too much for you by yourself.”

Tom had moved them to L.A. only two weeks after Bobbie was born.  He had helped her when they brought Bobbie home in Eugene, but his new movie began filming only three weeks after Bobbie’s birth and they needed to live in Los Angeles near the studios.  While Tom was with her Charley managed fine, but when he began working she was left trying to deal with constant feedings, changes and laundry.  Who would have thought that two tiny babies could produce so much laundry?  When they talked about hiring a nanny before, Charley didn’t like the idea of a stranger living with them.  Tom had a maid who came in three times a week and Charley almost nixed that as well.  Tom appreciated the fact that she just wanted to be a full time wife and mother but he also knew she’d never be able to handle cleaning a house as large as his and take care of the kids as well.  Hell, Fran never did anything except her acting career and never lifted a finger when she was between films.  They had a full time maid and a chef. 

“But we talked about me being a housewife.  If someone else is doing all the work then I’m not holding up my end of the bargain.”  Charley snuffled as she took another tissue from the box.

“Sweetheart, most of the people I know who have new babies also have families who help them in the beginning.  We don’t have anyone to help.  Most people only have one baby at a time.  You got hit with two.  After all, Tommy is, for all intents and purposes, nearly a newborn himself.  You haven’t had a decent night's rest since before Bobbie was born and it’s making it harder for you to cope.  You’re a new mom, and I know you aren’t sure of yourself yet.  I had the advantage of nurses to show me exactly what to do and how to do it.  I learned a lot about babies and what to expect while Tommy was in the hospital.  You haven’t had that chance.  All I want is for you to have help.  You don’t have to surrender being a mother, just let the nanny handle some of the strain. Once the kids get a little bigger and you become more sure of yourself, then we can discuss letting her go.”  He kissed her cheek. “I just don’t want to see you so upset.  It’s not like we can’t afford a nanny.”

Six months later Rob came by.  Charley was just finishing bathing Bobbie.  She opened the door, holding the baby in a towel.  “Hi, Rob!  Come in.”

He smiled at her warmly and gave her and Bobbie a hug. 

“What are you doing here?  I thought Tom said you were in Europe selling one of your systems.”

“I was.  I just got in last night and wanted to stop in and see how my god-children were.”

“Well, this one has a cold and is a real bear.  She just threw up on everything so I gave her a bath.  She hasn’t been feeling too well.”  Charley led him into the kitchen and poured him a cup of coffee.  “Have a cup and let me finish dressing Bobbie.”

Charley dressed the baby and was returning to the kitchen when she saw Rob sitting on the floor in the family room in front of the playpen Tommy was in.  He was talking to him through the mesh fence.  He smiled up at Charley.  “He’s putting on weight and getting taller.”

“Well, he hasn’t been sick in six months. That helps.” 

“Where’s the nanny?  I thought Tom wanted to keep her on?”

Charley lost her smile. “I fired her.”

“Why?  What happened?” 

“I didn’t like her.  I didn’t like the way she handled the kids.  I talked to an old friend of mine and she’s going to come help me.  I haven’t seen her in years and I ran into her the other day at the grocery store.  You can imagine how surprised I was to see someone here that I knew from Washington.”

Rob watched as she placed Bobbie in the baby bouncer.  She didn’t look right.  There were circles under her eyes and her skin was very pale.  “Is everything okay, Charley?  You look worn out.”

“I’m fine.”  She turned away so Rob couldn’t see the tears.  “I was just about to fix lunch.  Why don’t you stay and have some with us?  Tom should be home soon.  He just went to his agent’s to sign some papers for the new movie.”  She moved to the kitchen as she talked. 

Rob stood up and followed Charley into the kitchen.  “Okay, what can I do to help?”

Charley opened the refrigerator and began pulling out lunchmeat and condiments.  “Would you grab the bread?  It’s in the ‘bread file’.”  Tom had chided Charley the first time he saw her kitchen.  She was so organized he started calling the cabinets, ‘the files’. 

Rob grabbed the bread just as Tom walked in.  “Hey, Rob, glad you’re home!”  He went to Rob and gave him a quick hug, then turned to Charley and kissed her on the cheek.  “So what brings you here?  I thought you’d be gone a couple of weeks longer.”

“I finished up faster than I originally thought.  You know how much I love Europe, so I hopped on the first flight out.  I hear you’re getting a new nanny.”

“What?”  Charley hadn’t told Tom yet.  “What happened to Rosa, Charley?”

Charley went on with making the sandwiches while she answered.  “I never liked her, Tom.  I decided I wanted someone else.  I ran into an old friend from Washington, and I asked her if she wanted a job.  She’s great with kids and I trust her.”

Tom didn’t know quite what to say.  He wanted to talk to Charley about the change, but didn’t want to create a situation in front of Rob.  Charley hadn’t been her happy, easy-going self lately and they’d had several arguments over the last two weeks.  He couldn’t seem to get her to talk about what was wrong. There was only a vague feeling that things weren’t right.  She’d lost weight and seemed to be tired most of the time.  He asked her to go to the doctor and she finally relented only after having fainted while Tom was at the store.  It scared her.  When she awoke she realized something serious was happening and because Tom was gone the babies were alone.  What if she’d hit her head?  They would have been there alone until Tom returned possibly hours later.

After the appointment, she told him she was anemic and needed to take a prescription for the problem.  When he mentioned that the drug didn’t seem to be helping she put him off with, “Well, what do you expect?  I’m taking care of two small children.  It isn’t easy chasing diapers, laundry and getting up in the middle of the night.”

Tom had spoken to Rosa and asked why Charley was doing all the work when they paid her to take care of the kids.  Rosa told him, “I try to help, but the Senora wants to do it herself.”

“So, who’s this friend, and when does she start?”  Tom felt that if it would make Charley happier having a friend help then it wasn’t worth questioning.

Charley looked up and he could see relief in her face.  His unquestioning acceptance was important to her.  “She’s coming over today so you can meet her.  She’ll start on Wednesday, all right?”

“If it makes you happy, then it’s fine.”  He slipped his arms around her waist and gave her a hug and kiss.

They ate lunch and cleaned up the kitchen.  When Tommy had to be changed Rob volunteered.  That was a first.  Charley heckled him, “Since when did ‘I never want to have kids’, Rob Chandler decide to change nasty diapers?”

Rob smiled smugly, “Since Tammy’s been pushing to get married.  Marriage to her means having kids and I just want to remind myself why I don’t want kids.”

“That’s just an excuse for not getting married.  You know, having your own isn’t like taking care of someone else’s.”

“Yeah, I know and I love my godchildren like my own, but I don’t feel the need to populate the world.  Maybe you two could provide me with another godchild or two to offset my lack.”  He laughed as he walked down to babies’ bedroom.

As soon as he left Tom asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you were letting Rosa go?”

“I knew you’d have a fit and I didn’t want to deal with it.” 

“Don’t you think we should have at least talked about it?”

“No.”

“Charley, what’s wrong with you?  The last two weeks you’ve acted like someone I don’t know.”  Tom’s temper was getting short.  He had never known her to stonewall him before.  She was keeping something from him and he didn’t like it.

“Maybe you never knew me,” she retorted.  “We got married only a month after we began seeing each other again.  Maybe it was a mistake.”

“What are you saying?  You want a divorce?  Jesus, Charley!”  Tom’s stomach lurched.  “Please, Honey, whatever I did to make you angry, at least tell me.  I love you.  I don’t think our marriage was a mistake.”

Charley could hear the hurt in his voice.  She hadn’t meant to hurt him.  She wasn’t going to leave. It never even entered her mind.  “Oh, Baby, of course I don’t want a divorce.  It’s just…”  She couldn’t say anymore.  The tears slipped down her cheeks and Tom wrapped her in his arms.

“God, Charley, don’t scare me that way!”  He pulled back and made her look at him.  “I love you!  Tell me what’s going on.”  He waited a moment and when she didn’t answer he said very softly, “I need to know.”

“I have leukemia.”  She said it so softly at first he thought he didn’t hear correctly.  She said it again while looking him squarely in the eyes.  “I have leukemia.  That’s why I let Rosa go.  I asked Toni to come because she’s a nurse.  I wasn’t going to tell you.”

Tom couldn’t speak.  He didn’t know what to say.  His mind wasn’t functioning properly.  “Why didn’t you tell me before?”  He could hardly speak.

“I didn’t want to see that look on your face.”  She buried her face in his chest and cried.

When Rob walked back in the kitchen he found them that way, clinging to each other and both were crying.  When Tom finally got out what the problem was, Rob was the rock that anchored them.  “I suggest we find out who the number one specialist in the country is, then make an appointment with him.  Charley should have the very best treatment available.”

Rob called a friend of his, a doctor, and asked his opinion.  Though that wasn’t his field he would contact several of his colleagues and get their opinions.

Toni Angelino arrived an hour later.  She was nothing like her Italian name implied.  She was tall with strawberry blonde hair and large opalescent eyes, the complete opposite of Charley. 

Charley embraced Toni the moment she opened the door then drew her into the family room to meet Tom and Rob. 

They sat in silence for a moment.  “Charley tells us you’re a nurse.”  Rob wanted to know if she could give them some insight as to Charley’s condition and treatment.  Charley hadn’t accepted her condition when she was first told.  Denial had kept her from asking questions and as a result, there was little she could tell Tom or Rob.

“Yes, I’ve worked with cancer patients most of my career. That’s how Charley and I came to know each other.  I was one of the nurses who cared for Jerry when he was sick.”

“What can you tell us about Charley’s situation?  She only told us an hour ago and, frankly, we don’t know what to expect.”

Toni shot Charley a look.  “So you didn’t know I was coming or why?”

Tom was sitting next to Charley, holding her hand and looking shell-shocked.  “No, they didn’t.  I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I thought we could keep it secret.”  Charley was speaking in a low voice.  Well at least she’d come to the conclusion that trying to hide it wouldn’t work.  Furthermore, it wasn’t healthy to keep something like that from those you care about.

The whole situation irritated Toni.  Here she was in the middle of a confession, the results of which were totally unpredictable.   Charley should have prepared Tom for this.  The changes that would come were hard enough to deal with without the added strain of being told only two days before it all started.

Toni fell into her professional mode.  “I don’t know exactly what will happen.  Charley wasn’t specific as to the type of leukemia she has, so I don’t know exactly what therapy will be given.  She has an appointment with the doctor on Wednesday and I’ll go with her.  I should be able to give you a better evaluation after speaking with him.”

“Can’t you give us any more than that?”  Rob looked over at Tom.  He hadn’t said two words since Rob called his doctor friend looking for advice.  He could only imagine what his best friend was feeling.  He was feeling it himself.  He would never tell Tom, or anyone, how much he cared for Charley.  She was the only woman he would have seriously considered marrying.  But he knew from the beginning, that there was no chance for him and contented himself with being a friend.  He hadn’t cried when they told him, though he wanted to.  Instead, he pointedly turned the conversation toward finding Charley competent help.  He could fall apart later when he was alone.

“I can only tell you generalities.  I would imagine chemotherapy will be part of the treatment.  Depending on how strong the drug is and how well Charley’s system accepts it, the side effects could be anywhere from mild nausea to violent vomiting.  She may or may not lose her hair and there are other side effects.  The type of leukemia has a direct bearing on what type of treatment will be used.  There may also be a possibility that a bone marrow transplant would be used.  I simply can’t say until I have more information.”

'What are Charley’s chances of living through this?'  Rob wanted to ask.  Looking at his best friends, seeing the pall of death hanging over them, he just couldn’t verbalize it.  Not now. He would wait until he could talk to Toni alone.

The days and weeks flew by.  Tom called the day after Toni arrived and broke the new contract he signed.  When he explained that his wife was starting chemotherapy and he needed to be with her, the production company had understood.  There was plenty of time to find another actor for the part and they wanted to stay in Tom’s good graces in case they wanted him in the future.

At first, Charley had been terribly depressed.  She knew how hard it was going to be for Tom to handle two small children, especially if the leukemia claimed her life.  Her children would never know her and Tom would be lost.  She knew how much he loved her. It was that dark time of readjustment that Charley dreaded more than anything. 

One night Jerry came to her in a beautiful dream.  He told her they would be together and that they would both watch over Tom and the children.  “Don’t worry, Charley.  I’ve been with you since the moment I left.  You may not have known it, but I was there, just as you’ll be there for Tom, until he finds love again.”

She awoke feeling better than she had since being told of her illness.  Her outlook on life became 'one day at a time.'  She dealt with the chemotherapy and its side effects by making bad jokes.  She focused on the little things one usually takes for granted.  On those all too rare times when she felt up to making love, it was as if it were the last time each time.  She savored the moments Tom held her, memorized the times the children giggled when he did something funny and watched the sunrise and sunset with more appreciation than she had ever known.  She actually pitied people who casually moved through life as if it were a given instead of a gift.  She struggled valiantly to rid her body of the terrible disease, but in the end she knew if it weren’t to be, it wasn’t the end, only a different beginning.

Six months to the day after Toni arrived, at 10:32 p.m., Charley slipped into a coma at Sacred Heart hospital.  Tom was with her until she passed to that other world late in October only days before Bobbie’s first birthday.  Just before she gave into the quiet of the coma she asked, “Who’s that at the end of my bed?”  Tom turned to look and saw no one.  “Oh,” she smiled, “never mind.”  The smile never left her face as the coma overtook her.  It was still there when the doctor pronounced her dead.

In tonight’s news, Charlene Hayden, wife of Superstar Tom Hayden, died at Sacred Heart Hospital in Eugene, Oregon, after succumbing to leukemia.  Hayden and his second wife were married only thirteen months.  She leaves behind her husband, their daughter, Roberta, and Hayden’s son, Charles, by first wife Fran Chancelor.

Tom, Rob and Toni stood at the gravesite.  Jerry’s family had made the journey from Seattle, as did Tom’s family from Idaho.  Jake and Danette and all Charley’s friends attended.  There were friends and acquaintances from across the states and a few from other countries.  Tom Hayden was well liked by the people he worked with and they came to pay their respects even though most of them had never met Charley. 

“I hated it, even though she said it was good luck.  I didn’t want you telling the rest of the guys and end up with a frog name as a moniker.”

“Well,” Charley said, “maybe it would bring Charlie good luck.  Or, we could call him Tommy.”

“Well whatever we call him, I want to go see him.”  Tom got up to go change.

“If you don’t mind, I’m staying here.  I have to call the office and send some e-mails.  If I don’t I’m liable to return to a dead business.”  Rob had ignored his thriving business long enough.

“Suit yourself.  I’ll call and let you know how he’s doing.  Charley, how about you?  If you want to stay here, it’s okay.”  Tom didn’t want her to feel she had to come.  After all Charlie wasn’t her son.

“No, I want to go.  Just let me put some makeup on and I’m ready.”

By the time they got to the hospital, Charlie looked a hundred percent better.  He had pink in his cheeks and his breathing was no longer labored.  Charley watched as Tom carefully picked him up.  The baby immediately cuddled into his father.  She sat and watched Tom explain what happened and why, and he introduced him to Charley.  He told the baby that since he had the same name as his future step mom, he would be called Tommy instead of Charlie.  Future step mom?  Tom hadn’t said anything about getting married. 

Tom asked if Charley wanted to hold the baby and she couldn’t resist.  He seemed so tiny.  Her experience with babies was limited to caring for Jerry’s nephews and nieces.  They always babysat together and most of the responsibility was on Jerry.  He could change a diaper with the best of them.  He would have been a great father.  Tom watched as Charley’s face changed from pleased to sad.

“Honey, I’m sorry, I forgot about the baby you lost.  Maybe I should take Charlie.”

“No, I wasn’t thinking about the baby I lost.  I was just thinking how much like Jerry you are.  He would have been a good father, like you.  He wanted that more than anything.”  She began rocking and quietly humming as the little tree frog fell asleep.

They went to lunch at the hospital cafeteria and took a stroll in the small garden outside.  Sacred Heart is a Catholic hospital, and there were several benches with religious statues to remind the visitor that God had a plan, but always listened to prayers.  They sat on a bench and just enjoyed the peace.

“Future step-mom?”  Charley said it out loud without meaning to.

“I guess I was assuming again.  Maybe you don’t want to take on the responsibility of a small sickly child, especially since your own is coming soon.”  Tom was hoping she wouldn’t tell him he was right.

“No, it’s just that nothing was said about getting married.  I mean, we just started seeing each other.  We never dated before and well, maybe if we did you’d change your mind.”

“I don’t think so, but if you want me to court you I will.  You deserve to be romanced and courted.”

Charley laughed, “I think we already put the cart before the horse.”  She patted her stomach and lifted his hand to kiss it.  “You don’t have to do that.  I just want you to be absolutely certain before we say ‘I do’.  I’d never want you to marry me because of the baby.  I would never deny you being a part of his or her life, irregardless of whether we married.”

“I know that, it’s an important part of why I love you.”

Chapter Six

For the second time in his life Tom stood with Rob at his side as best man.  Once Charley agreed to marry him, Tom wasted no time in putting things in motion.  He wasn’t going to take a chance that she would change her mind.  They ‘dated’ less than a month when he put the engagement ring on her finger.  He had no doubts how he felt about her.   His cousins had come with their families from Idaho, Charley invited Jerry’s family from Seattle, and there were a few friends from L.A. and Eureka.  All told 150 people sat waiting for the nuptials to begin. 

The familiar strains of the Wedding March could be heard and Tom and Rob looked to the front of the church for Jake and Charley.  Even at nearly nine months pregnant, she was radiant.  Her empire waist dress couldn’t disguise the expanding Hayden clan.  The media would have a field day when writing about this.  Charley had mentioned the probability that they would realize Tom had been unfaithful to Fran.  He hated the idea of her being the other woman, but he was nonchalant about becoming a father again.  If the media jerks didn’t like it, too bad.  The record spoke for itself. 

Fran’s autopsy had revealed the truth and her missed appointment for the abortion, was found by a reporter.  It was argued that she did it because Tom was being unfaithful, but the blood test indicating an inducer, showed she was uncaring about the well being of her child.  It looked less like Fran was the sweet girl next door and when the terms of the divorce showed she pressed for more money and wanted no custody, the public was less critical of Tom.  After all, who could blame a man for not wanting a woman who would consider risking her baby’s life by deliberately having him too early, then accept money for giving him up?

Tommy was there in the front row with, Joe, one of Jerry’s brothers and his wife.  They seemed genuinely happy for Charley and Joe held Tommy as if he were a nephew.  Jake looked as if he were going to cry as he walked her down the isle and placed her hand in Tom’s.  Charley reached up and kissed Jake on the cheek.  “Thank you,” she whispered.

The reception was beautiful and fun.  It wasn’t one of those stuffy Hollywood weddings.  They had fun music and everyone enjoyed themselves.  The bridal couple left the party in full swing to go on a short honeymoon at a nice hotel on the Oregon Coast.  Rob had gone back to California and returned for the wedding, promising to stay at Tom’s place with the nanny they hired to take care of Tommy.   Tom felt much happier once he knew Rob would be there. 

They returned just two weeks before Roberta Patricia Hayden was born.  When she put in her appearance she gave everyone a scare by being delivered by her daddy in the back of the rented SUV on the way to the hospital. 

Charley was still sleeping after an exciting night.  Tom sat watching her.  He had gone to the nursery several times to look at his new little girl.  She was so much bigger and more robust than Tommy was when he was born.  Tom couldn’t stop looking at her and thanking God that she was healthy.  The nurses kept trying to get him to go home and get some sleep, but he knew he would never be able to close his eyes.  He was on an all time high, his son was doing well; he had a wonderful new wife and a beautiful daughter.  He was afraid if he closed his eyes he’d wake up and find it was all a dream.

When he finally fell asleep it was in the recliner next to Charley’s bed.  He didn’t wake up until he heard the soft crying of his daughter as the nurse brought her to meet her mother.  Charley was awake and cuddling Bobbie to her.  She slipped her gown down so the baby could nurse.  Tom sat watching.  Charley looked like she had done this many times.  She was going to be a good mother. 

Tom got up and sat on the side of the bed stroking the baby’s hair.  “You’re so beautiful.”

“Yes she is.”  Charley couldn’t have been happier.  She was secretly pleased that he was as attentive to Bobbie as he was to Tommy. 

“I was talking about you.  What did I do to deserve you?”  She looked into his face and realized he meant every word.  Tom didn’t realize it but Charley had considerable concerns about how Tom really felt.  She was afraid he was ‘grateful’ in the wake of Fran’s abuse.  She had taken to being Tommy’s mother and the combination could have added up to his loving her as a rebound or a port in the storm.  They really hadn’t had a chance to cement their relationship when the baby came, and she was afraid he would stay with her because he wanted and needed the security of family.  It was something neither of them had outside of his cousins and her extended family from her marriage to Jerry.

But watching him with his daughter and the look he gave her spoke volumes.  Possibly somewhere in the future he would realize what she already considered.  Until then, she would do her best to be everything he needed. 

Charley hated L.A. and the constant attention of the press.  She couldn’t go anywhere without being photographed or asked questions.  Tom had hired a nanny to help her with the babies.  Being a new mother with one baby would have been hard enough.  With two it was nearly too much.  She adjusted fairly fast and managed to handle both children with reasonable efficiency.   But being a new mother with no experience and physically not yet fully recovered, resulted in Tom finding her crying one morning after feeding Bobbie.  She told him she just had a set of ‘the blues’ and couldn’t seem to stop crying.

“I’m hiring a nanny, Honey.  I know you don’t really want someone living here with us, but you can’t handle two infants by yourself.  If I didn’t have to work I could help but it’s too much for you by yourself.”

Tom had moved them to L.A. only two weeks after Bobbie was born.  He had helped her when they brought Bobbie home in Eugene, but his new movie began filming only three weeks after Bobbie’s birth and they needed to live in Los Angeles near the studios.  While Tom was with her Charley managed fine, when he began working she was left trying to deal with constant feedings, changes and laundry.  Who would have thought that two tiny babies could produce so much laundry?  When they talked about hiring a nanny before, Charley didn’t like the idea of a stranger living with them.  Tom had a maid that came in three times a week and Charley almost nixed that as well.  Tom appreciated the fact that she just wanted to be a full time wife and mother but he also knew she’d never be able to handle cleaning a house as large as his and take care of the kids as well.  Hell, Fran never did anything except her acting career and never lifted a finger when she was between films.  They had a full time maid and a chef. 

“But we talked about me being a housewife.  If someone else is doing all the work then I’m not holding up my end of the bargain.”  Charley snuffled as she took another tissue from the box.

“Sweetheart, most of the people I know who have new babies; also have families who help them in the beginning.  We don’t have anyone to help.  Most people only have one baby at a time.  You got hit with two.  After all, Tommy is, for all intents and purposes, nearly a newborn himself.  You haven’t had a decent nights rest since before Bobbie was born and it’s making it harder for you to cope.  You’re a new mom, and I know you aren’t sure of yourself yet.  I had the advantage of nurses to show me exactly what to do and how to do it.  I learned a lot about babies and what to expect while Tommy was in the hospital.  You haven’t had that chance.  All I want is for you to have help.  You don’t have to surrender being a mother, just let the nanny handle some of the strain. Once the kids get a little bigger and you become, more sure of yourself, then we can discuss letting her go.”  He kissed her cheek, “I just don’t want to see you so upset.  It’s not like we can’t afford a nanny.”

Six months later Rob came by.  Charley was just finishing bathing Bobbie.  She opened the door holding the baby in a towel.  “Hi Rob!  Come in.”

He smiled at her warmly and gave her and Bobbie a hug. 

“What are you doing here?  I thought Tom said you were in Europe selling one of your systems.”

“I was.  I just got in last night and wanted to stop in and see how my god-children were.”

“Well, this one has a cold and is a real bear.  She just threw up on everything so I gave her a bath.  She hasn’t been feeling too well.”  Charley led him into the kitchen and poured him a cup of coffee.  “Have a cup and let me finish dressing Bobbie.”

Charley dressed the baby and was returning to the kitchen when she saw Rob sitting on the floor in the family room in front of the playpen Tommy was in.  He was talking to him through the mesh fence.  He smiled up at Charley.  “He’s putting on weight and getting taller.”

“Well, he hasn’t been sick in six months; that helps.” 

“Where’s the nanny?  I thought Tom wanted to keep her on?”

Charley lost her smile, “I fired her.”

“Why?  What happened?” 

“I didn’t like her.  I didn’t like the way she handled the kids.  I talked to an old friend of mine and she’s going to come help me.  I haven’t seen her in years and I ran into her the other day at the grocery store.  You can imagine how surprised I was to see someone here that I knew from Washington.”

Rob watched as she placed Bobbie in the baby bouncer.  She didn’t look right.  There were circles under her eyes and her skin was very pale.  “Is everything okay, Charley?  You look worn out.”

“I’m fine.”  She turned away so Rob couldn’t see the tears.  “I was just about to fix lunch.  Why don’t you stay and have some with us?  Tom should be home soon.  He just went to his agent’s to sign some papers for the new movie.”  She moved to the kitchen as she talked. 

Rob stood up and followed Charley into the kitchen.  “Okay, what can I do to help?”

Charley opened the refrigerator and began pulling out lunchmeat and condiments.  “Would you grab the bread?  It’s in the ‘bread file’.”  Tom had chided Charley the first time he saw her kitchen.  She was so organized he started calling the cabinets, ‘the files’. 

Rob grabbed the bread just as Tom walked in.  “Hey, Rob glad you’re home!”  He went to Rob and gave him a quick hug, then, turned to Charley and kissed her on the cheek.  “So what brings you here?  I thought you’d be gone a couple of weeks longer.”

“I finished up faster than I originally thought.  You know how much I love Europe, so I hopped on the first flight out.  I hear you’re getting a new nanny.”

“What?”  Charley hadn’t told Tom yet.  “What happened to Rosa, Charley?”

Charley went on with making the sandwiches while she answered.  “I never liked her, Tom.  I decided I wanted someone else.  I ran into an old friend from Washington, and I asked her if she wanted a job.  She’s great with kids and I trust her.”

Tom didn’t know quite what to say.  He wanted to talk to Charley about the change, but didn’t want to create a situation in front of Rob.  Charley hadn’t been her happy, easy going self lately and they’d had several arguments over the last two weeks.  He couldn’t seem to get her to talk about what was wrong; there was only a vague feeling that things weren’t right.  She’d lost weight and seemed to be tired most of the time.  He asked her to go to the doctor and she finally relented only after having fainted while Tom was at the store.  It scared her.  When she awoke she realized something serious was happening and because Tom was gone the babies were alone.  What if she’d hit her head?  They would have been there alone until Tom returned possibly hours later.

After the appointment, she told him she was anemic and needed to take a prescription for the problem.  When he mentioned that the drug didn’t seem to be helping she put him off with, “Well, what do you expect?  I’m taking care of two small children.  It isn’t easy chasing diapers, laundry and getting up in the middle of the night.”

Tom had spoken to Rosa and asked why Charley was doing all the work when they paid her to take care of the kids.  Rosa told him, “I try to help, but the Senora wants to do it herself.”

“So, who’s this friend, and when does she start?”  Tom felt that if it would make Charley happier having a friend help then it wasn’t worth questioning.

Charley looked up and he could see relief in her face.  His unquestioning acceptance was important to her.  “She’s coming over today so you can meet her.  She’ll start on Wednesday, alright?”

“If it makes you happy, then it’s fine.”  He slipped his arms around her waist and gave her a hug and kiss.

They ate lunch and cleaned up the kitchen.  When Tommy had to be changed Rob volunteered.  That was a first.  Charley heckled him, “Since when did ‘I never want to have kids’, Rob Chandler decide to change nasty diapers?”

Rob smiled smugly, “Since Tammy’s been pushing to get married.  Marriage to her means having kids and I just want to remind myself why I don’t want kids.”

“That’s just an excuse for not getting married.  You know, having your own isn’t like taking care of someone else’s.”

“Yeah, I know and I love my godchildren like my own, but I don’t feel the need to populate the world.  Maybe you two could provide me with another godchild or two to off set my lack.”  He laughed as he walked down to babies’ bedroom.

As soon as he left Tom asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you were letting Rosa go?”

“I knew you’d have a fit and I didn’t want to deal with it.” 

“Don’t you think we should have at least talked about it?”

“No.”

“Charley, what’s wrong with you?  The last two weeks you’ve acted like someone I don’t know.”  Tom’s temper was getting short.  He had never known her to stonewall him before.  She was keeping something from him and he didn’t like it.

“Maybe you never knew me,” she retorted.  “We got married only a month after we began seeing each other again.  Maybe it was a mistake.”

“What are you saying?  You want a divorce?  Jesus, Charley!”  Tom’s stomach lurched.  “Please, Honey, whatever I did to make you angry, at least tell me.  I love you.  I don’t think our marriage was a mistake.”

Charley could hear the hurt in his voice.  She hadn’t meant to hurt him.  She wasn’t going to leave; it never even entered her mind.  “Oh, Baby, of course I don’t want a divorce.  It’s just…”  She couldn’t say anymore.  The tears slipped down her cheeks and Tom wrapped her in his arms.

“God, Charley, don’t scare me that way!”  He pulled back and made her look at him.  “I love you!  Tell me what’s going on.”  He waited a moment and when she didn’t answer he said very softly, “I need to know.”

“I have leukemia.”  She said it so softly, at first he thought he didn’t hear correctly.  She said it again while looking him squarely in the eyes.  “I have leukemia.  That’s why I let Rosa go.  I asked Toni to come because she’s a nurse.  I wasn’t going to tell you.”

Tom couldn’t speak.  He didn’t know what to say.  His mind wasn’t functioning properly.  “Why didn’t you tell me before?”  He could hardly speak.

“I didn’t want to see that look on your face.”  She buried her face in his chest and cried.

When Rob walked back in the kitchen he found them that way, clinging to each other and both were crying.  When Tom finally got out what the problem was; Rob was the rock that anchored them.  “I suggest we find out who the number one specialist in the country is, then, make an appointment with him.  Charley should have the very best treatment available.”

Rob called a friend of his, a doctor, and asked his opinion.  Though that wasn’t his field he would contact several of his colleagues and get their opinions.

Toni Angelino arrived an hour later.  She was nothing like her Italian name implied.  She was tall with strawberry blonde hair and large opalescent eyes: the complete opposite of Charley. 

Charley embraced Toni the moment she opened the door, and drew her into the family room to meet Tom and Rob. 

They sat in silence for a moment.  “Charley tells us you’re a nurse.”  Rob wanted to know if she could give them some insight as to Charley’s condition and treatment.  Charley hadn’t accepted her condition when she was first told.  Denial had kept her from asking questions and as a result, there was little she could tell Tom or Rob.

“Yes, I’ve worked with cancer patients most of my career. That’s how Charley and I came to know each other.  I was one of the nurses who cared for Jerry when he was sick.”

“What can you tell us about Charley’s situation?  She only told us an hour ago and frankly, we don’t know what to expect.”

Toni shot Charley a look.  “So you didn’t know I was coming or why?”

Tom was sitting next to Charley holding her hand and looking shell-shocked.  “No, they didn’t.  I wasn’t going to tell anyone, I thought we could keep it secret.”  Charley was speaking in a low voice.  Well at least she’d come to the conclusion that trying to hide it wouldn’t work.  Furthermore, it wasn’t healthy to keep something like that from those you care about.

The whole situation irritated Toni.  Here she was in the middle of a confession, the results of which were totally unpredictable.   Charley should have prepared Tom for this.  The changes that would come were hard enough to deal with, without the added strain of being told only two days before it all started.

Toni fell into her professional mode.  “I don’t know exactly what will happen.  Charley wasn’t specific as to the type of leukemia she has, so I don’t know exactly what therapy will be given.  She has an appointment with the doctor on Wednesday and I’ll go with her.  I should be able to give you a better evaluation after speaking with him.”

“Can’t you give us any more than that?”  Rob looked over at Tom.  He hadn’t said two words since Rob called his doctor friend looking for advice.  He could only imagine what his best friend was feeling.  He was feeling it himself.  He would never tell Tom, or anyone, how much he cared for Charley.  She was the only woman he would have seriously considered marrying.  But he knew from the beginning, that there was no chance for him and contented himself with being a friend.  He hadn’t cried when they told him, though he wanted to.  Instead, he pointedly turned the conversation toward finding Charley competent help.  He could fall apart later when he was alone.

“I can only tell you generalities.  I would imagine chemotherapy will be part of the treatment.  Depending on how strong the drug is and how well Charley’s system accepts it, the side effects could be anywhere from mild nausea to violent vomiting.  She may or may not lose her hair and there are other side effects.  The type of leukemia has a direct bearing on what type of treatment will be used.  There may also be a possibility that a bone marrow transplant would be used.  I simply can’t say until I have more information.”

“What are Charley’s chances of living through this?”  Rob wanted to ask.  Looking at his best friends, seeing the pall of death hanging over them, he just couldn’t verbalize it.  Not now, he would wait until he could talk to Toni alone.

The days and weeks flew by.  Tom called the day after Toni arrived and broke the new contract he signed.  When he explained that his wife was starting chemotherapy and he needed to be with her, the production company had understood.  There was plenty of time to find another actor for the part and they wanted to stay in Tom’s good graces in case they wanted him in the future.

At first, Charley had been terribly depressed.  She knew how hard it was going to be for Tom to handle two small children, especially if the leukemia claimed her life.  Her children would never know her and Tom would be lost.  She knew how much he loved her; it was that dark time of readjustment that Charley dreaded more than anything. 

One night Jerry came to her in a beautiful dream.  He told her they would be together and that they would both watch over Tom and the children.  “Don’t worry, Charley.  I’ve been with you since the moment I left.  You may not have known it, but I was there, just as you’ll be there for Tom, until he finds love again.”

She awoke feeling better than she had since being told of her illness.  Her outlook on life became, one day at a time.  She dealt with the chemotherapy and its side effects by making bad jokes.  She focused on the little things one usually takes for granted.  On those all too rare times when she felt up to making love, it was as if it were the last time each time.  She savored the moments Tom held her, memorized the times the children giggled when he did something funny and watched the sunrise and sunset with more appreciation than she had ever known.  She actually pitied people who casually moved through life as if it were a given instead of a gift.  She struggled valiantly to rid her body of the terrible disease, but in the end she knew if it weren’t to be, it wasn’t the end, only a different beginning.

Six months to the day after Toni arrived; at 10:32 p.m. Charley slipped into a coma at Sacred Heart hospital.  Tom was with her until she passed to that other world late in October only days before Bobbie’s first birthday.  Just before she gave into the quiet of the coma she asked, “Who’s that at the end of my bed?”  Tom turned to look and saw no one.  “Oh,” she smiled, “never mind.”  The smile never left her face as the coma overtook her.  It was still there when the doctor pronounced her dead.

In tonight’s news, Charlene Hayden, wife of Super star Tom Hayden, died at Sacred Heart Hospital in Eugene, Oregon, after succumbing to leukemia.  Hayden and his second wife were married only thirteen months.  She leaves behind her husband, their daughter, Roberta, and Hayden’s son, Charles, by first wife Fran Chancelor.

Tom, Rob and Toni stood at the gravesite.  Jerry’s family had made the journey from Seattle, as did Tom’s family from Idaho.  Jake and Danette and all Charley’s friends attended.  There were friends and acquaintances from across the states and a few from other countries.  Tom Hayden was well liked by the people he worked with and they came to pay their respects even though most of them had never met Charley. 

Tom was still in a daze.  He simply stared at the coffin and couldn’t bring himself to believe he would never see Charley again.  He’d tried so hard to prepare himself for this possibility, but how does one do that?  He could never quite bring himself to believe it would come to pass.  They’d had such a short time together.  Now she was gone and he would never see her beautiful smile, or hear her laugh, or feel her warm breath on his face as they kissed.  He would never again….

Rob knew Tom hadn’t cried at the hospital.  He simply sat next to Charley’s body until an orderly went to get Rob to take Tom home.  Rob took Tom’s arm.  “She’s gone, Tom.  We have to get you home.”

Tom hadn’t resisted.  He walked like a zombie out of the hospital and got into the car.  Rob got Tom to lie down once they got there.  He seemed to be in another world.  Rob stayed with him until nearly four in the morning, until he finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

When Rob finally crawled into the bed in the guestroom, he could no longer hold back the tears he’d been fighting since Charley was taken to the hospital the morning before.  There was little doubt that she would never leave the hospital and Rob drew on all his reserves to be strong and help Tom.  Once there was no longer a need, Rob fell completely apart. 

Rob had dealt with his loss, but standing there at the grave, he knew Tom hadn’t.  He watched and waited, hoping his best friend would manage a bit longer.  When Tom collapsed sobbing, Rob was there holding him and crying with him. 

ON TO CHAPTER SIX

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