THE EMERALD AND THE DIAMOND

By Bailey

Roger Blaine, an original Russell-based character, in a story of lasting love,

of life shared, great endurance, and great success

Chapter 1

It was a warm, beautiful Thursday and Jenny was looking forward to the weekend.  She hated being inside when it was such a beautiful day. Her job was just that, a job, not a career.  That made her decision to quit and move back to Oregon so much easier.  She had only one week more until she left.

As she stepped onto the elevator Jenny realized she wasn’t alone.  She punched the button for the second floor and stepped to the side away from the stranger. Keeping him at a distance and facing her was part of her karate training.  Even in an elevator a woman could be accosted.  She looked at him and made eye contact, letting him know she was watchful but friendly.  She wasn’t prepared for the stare she received, blue-green eyes, intense and aloof.  She didn’t even realize who he was. 

As the elevator descended it suddenly stopped with a jerk and the doors didn’t open.  “Damn!” she uttered, “These elevators are always messed up.”   Reaching for the button again, she tried to get the elevator to respond but it refused.  Giving up, she hit the alarm to alert the security guards in the lobby.

“Why don’t we try to open the doors?  It seems we’re stuck between floors.” This coming from her handsome companion. 

“I suppose we could try but you’ll have to pull on one side while I pull on the other,” she said.

“Fine.  Anything to get out.”  He was obviously not in the mood to be stuck for any length of time.

Try as they may the doors stubbornly refused to budge.  The air was off and the car was beginning to heat up with their efforts.   They finally stopped and started yelling, hoping someone would come to their rescue.

Shortly, a voice could be heard saying that they would get them out as soon as possible, just wait and be calm.  That was easier said than done. 

She finally gave up and sat down on the floor and tried to catch her breath.  He did the same on the opposite side.  He was aware that though she was older than him she was also attractive.  She had long blond hair, long legs and a figure that wouldn’t have gotten her on a magazine because it was too well rounded.  Not heavy, just round in the right places.  She also smelled nice.  Not overdone like some women heavy with perfume.   Subtle like the makeup she wore.  Light touch and more natural.  He was appraising her and realized she caught him.  She simply did some appraising of her own. He was tall but not overly so, stocky not hefty, with wavy chestnut brown hair and slightly scruffy beard.   And what a face, born to be bad, and knew it.  All in all a very satisfying picture but not one to get involved with.  Behind those beautiful eyes were a temper and an ego.  It fairly blazed from him. 

“Oh well,” she sighed.  “I didn’t want to go back to work anyway.”

“Well, I don’t relish sitting here when I have people waiting on me,” he huffed.  An Australian accent if she wasn’t mistaken.

“It shouldn’t take them long. Just try to be patient.”

“I guess I’m not known as the guy with patience."  He gave her a devastating smile and dropped his head back against the elevator wall.

“Well, hopefully we won’t be here long enough to worry about sending Christmas cards to each other, but my name is Jenny.”  She smiled and extended her hand to him.  

Taking her hand he said, “Mine's Roger,” flashing a beautiful smile.

“I recognize you now.  I just wasn’t expecting you.  What are you doing here?  Sort of out of your usual haunts, aren’t you?”  L.A. was where he was found and of course Australia.  South Florida?  What was here?

“I went to the Bahamas looking for a possible location for a new project I’m hoping to start.  We were on the way back to L.A. when the pilot said he wanted to set down and check something out before going on.  Ft. Lauderdale Executive Airport was the closest place so we came in here.  We weren’t supposed to be long but I took the time to come here to pick up some cigars for a friend of mine.  There’s a guy up on the 11^th floor who sells the best there is.”  He picked up a package indicating the cigars just purchased.

“I hope he’s a good friend for all this aggravation,” she laughed.

“It’s really a peace offering. I sort of pissed him off and wanted to make up for it.”  She had killer eyes, he observed, not just green, green like emeralds and fire.  Must be contacts, eyes don’t come that green naturally.  “Why were you on the elevator if you’re supposed to be at work?”

She sighed, “I was being nice and took a letter delivered to our suite up to the suite it should have gone to. So much for the Good Samaritan.”   She was becoming uneasy being in such a confined space and fidgeted, trying hard to relax.

The elevator gave a lurch and both Jenny and Roger gasped expectantly.  They heard a loud *Wham! Bang!* and the elevator car bounced.

“What the hell was that!”  Jenny was conjuring all sorts of awful things.

 “You okay?”  Roger inquired.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous.  I’m not comfortable in closed spaces, claustrophobic I guess.  What do you suppose that noise was?”

“I’m not sure, but it sounded like the cable broke loose and hit the car on the way down.”

He could see how upset she was and moved a bit closer to offer some comfort.  She recognized the effort but didn’t want to encourage proximity.  He was one of those males who simply took over and controlled everything including the oxygen in the air.  He was an Alpha male, no mistaking it, and she wasn’t one of those women who wanted to be a Beta to his Alpha.  With a shaky voice she answered, “Thanks, but I’m fine. No need to be concerned.”

Just at that moment a disembodied voice told them there was a major problem with the elevator.  “We are unable to force the doors open from the outside.  We would normally try to take you out through the overhead hatch, but the elevator is too unstable.  Please don’t move around any more than necessary.  We don’t know how much longer it will take to get you out. Can we notify anyone of the situation until then?”

Roger shouted that he had a cell phone and would do his own calling but the lady may need some assistance.  “Phil, it’s Jenny Warner, Suite 299.   Would you please let Connie know where I am and what the situation is?  She’ll be worried.”

“Will do, Jenny.”

Jenny was concerned about their safety and asked if Roger’s guess about the cable was correct.  “No, the cable is intact.  What you heard was a piece of the equipment falling away. We have been assured that the brakes are working correctly. They just don’t want to put any more strain on them by trying to get you out.  Please be patient and we’ll have you out as soon as possible.”  With that the voice left and they were again alone with their thoughts.

Roger took out his cell and hit a button.  Shortly he was talking with someone on the other end giving instructions for the limo to stay where it was until he could find out how much longer they’d be there.  “I don’t know, Rosco; they don’t know.  Just tell the pilot what’s going on and ask him to put off as long as he can.”  This was just great. He had a time crunch to contend with, getting to L.A.

“What’s the problem?” Jenny asked.

“I own a lease with a jet company and I’m supposed to have a jet available when I need it.  It’s like a time-share sort of thing.  Anyway, my availability is based on others in that collective lease.  Seems the jet I’m using was to have taken some people from L.A. to another destination after we got there.  Now we’re behind schedule and that will hold them up.  If we don’t get out of here soon I’ll have to let the plane go on and make other arrangements.”

“Well, at least Hollywood/Ft. Lauderdale International is close. You shouldn’t have a problem getting out of there,” Jenny reasoned.  Concentrating on his problem relieved her from concentrating on their precarious situation.

“I fucking hate to fly commercial. There’s always someone in your face looking for an autograph or trying to be your friend when all they really want is to be able to say ‘I met Roger Blaine and we got really close’.  The fucking thing is they don’t get close. They just get nosy and could care less about who I really am.”  He suddenly realized how angry he was and that he had used language he shouldn’t have with a lady. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to use that language.”

“Don’t be. I spent 5 years in the United States Navy when women were barely accepted.  I was given orders by and gave orders to, men who resented the hell out of me.  Believe me I’ve heard it all and used it myself. It doesn’t offend me.”  He just came up a notch in her book with that apology even if it wasn’t necessary.

He smiled and wondered how much more this lady could surprise him with.  “Well, my mum would box me good if she’d heard.  She prides herself at not having raised a hoon, no matter what the media says.”

“So what kind of project was it you were scouting?”  She didn’t remember reading anything about a project that would include the Bahamas.

“I wrote a screenplay and was toying with the idea of making it into a movie.  It’s about the slave trade and pirates.  I love that era of pirates and sailing ships.  I got into it after making the last movie I got an Oscar for.  Men were men and women loved it.  Life was harder and simpler.”

Jenny frowned a bit.  “Well, I think we see what we want to see when we look back.   We see the flaws we want to see and the good things we want to see without having actually lived it.  Take for instance, outhouses.  I, for one, like the idea of inside plumbing and no chamber pots to empty.  Also, did you know that men back then married knowing that at some point in their marriage they would have to take a mistress or find a whore to relieve themselves?  Well brought up ladies simply did not enjoy sex with their husbands.  It showed a very low class mentality.  Sex was for the purpose of children and when the number of children was reached the sex stopped.  I can’t think of anything so lonely or callous.   Give me love and sex with someone who cares anytime, to the swashbuckling bullshit of old.”   She knew she had stunned him with that oration but she hated people who always looked at the past as ‘the good old days’.

He was a bit taken back at her directness but realized that it was like a fresh breeze.  Most of the women he spent time with weren’t as open and honest.  Of course they, for the most part, were just one night stands and weren’t chosen for their intellect or verbal prowess.  A beautiful face and a nice ass was all that was required.  He, of course, wanted more than that, much more.  But it had eluded him on several occasions.  Past loves were his personal gauge for success.  He had two Oscars and a bevy of other awards for his talent and hard work, but relationships never seemed to work out.  He knew that the one success he really craved was probably never going to be his.  He simply sighed and closed his eyes.

“I guess it’s my turn to apologize. I didn’t mean to get so het up.  I just think the past is fun to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”  She was embarrassed to see how she had affected his spirit.  Was it what she said or was it just thoughts she evoked?  At any rate she hadn’t meant to hurt him and was upset with herself for his current state.

“I really am sorry. I just don’t know when to keep my opinions to myself."  He could see the pleading in her eyes and was touched that it meant that much to her.

“Everyone has a right to their opinion.  God knows I make mine known.”  He put on just the right lopsided grin that he knew she would accept.  He was, if nothing else, good at conveying. 

“Well, you know what they say about opinions…they’re like assholes; everyone has one and they all stink!”

He couldn’t help it. He laughed uproariously. It was so incongruous to the perceived person in front of him.   He giggled and held his middle as if it would keep him from bursting out again.  When he cleared his eyes of tears he saw her giggling as well.  That brought on another fit of laughter from both of them.   “God, I haven’t laughed that hard for a long time, and over something so silly!”

“Maybe that’s what you need… more laughter and less serious.”  Jenny had read several articles over the years about his temper and general unhappiness. 

“I wish I could. It just seems that the only time I get that opportunity is when I’m with my family and mates back home.  It comes all too little, being home.  That’s a problem between Claire and me. I’m not home enough.”

“So why isn’t she with you instead of home?  It seems to me, it should be important for her to be with you instead of waiting for you to return.”  She could see the comment was unwelcome.

“That’s none of your fucking business.”   He was really mad mostly because this person he had known less than half an hour had put her finger on the crux of the problem and it hurt.  Who was she to see how his relationship with Claire had fallen apart, especially since it didn’t matter to her in the long run?  He wanted out of this elevator and on his way.  Good bye and good riddance. 

“I truly didn’t mean to pry. It just didn’t make sense.”  With that she sat back against the wall and closed her eyes, hoping that they would soon be released from this prison.

Chapter Two

They just sat there for the longest time, both lost in their thoughts.  He rewound all that had happened in the last six months.  Everything from barroom brawls to one night stands that left him nearly devoid of feelings.  In front of the camera he could express every emotion he felt and be applauded for them, but away from it he was hard put to tell those feelings.  When he did, the reaction was usually misunderstood or dismissed as an extension of his acting ability.  He felt completely alone most of the time. 

Even his family hadn’t understood when he broke off the engagement with Claire.  They only saw that she was sweet and beautiful, talented and seemingly able to forgive his infinite flaws.  They had been furious at his last minute change of mind and implored him to simply set the wedding date back until he had time to re-consider.  

Then there was Claire. She didn’t take the news at all well.  She had put up with him and his antics for years.  Countless one night stands, Hollywood trysts and always he returned to her and she welcomed him back.  Didn’t he owe her something for all the embarrassment and loyalty?  Probably so, but did he owe her his life, his career, everything he had worked for?  He’d sacrificed so much already.

The disembodied voice was back, indicating that it would take far longer than they thought to fix the problem and get them out.  Apparently a part had to be flown in from some other part of the country and installed by a specialist before they could move the car.  “It’s stable but don’t move around any more than necessary.  Be calm and they’ll have you out by morning.”

“By morning?  I can’t wait that long, for Christ sake!  I have a very important meeting in L.A. and I can’t miss it.  Just get us out of here!”  The endless apologies came and did nothing to relieve the desperation.  Meanwhile Jenny just sat in a funk listening to Roger rave.  Eventually he realized that the voice was gone and the shouting was wasted.  He slumped back and put his head on his drawn up knees. 

“Roger, call your man, Rosco.  Tell him to inform the people you were to see and have them change the meeting date.  Tell him that you will have to fly out commercial and to book you a flight for sometime tomorrow.”  Jenny always had a very practical side.  What is… is, and what cannot be, will not be.

He looked up at her and she shivered a bit with the look.  She had seen anger before but this was rage, raw and unforgiving.  “It’s real easy for you.  Your life doesn’t turn on a dime.  You don’t live by the same rules I do so don’t give me advice.  You haven’t a clue how important this meeting was or how much I could lose for missing it.”  He hadn’t even raised his voice but she felt an involuntary shiver from the force of his look. 

Never one to be backed into a corner, she simply gave him her most withering look and announced, “You’re right. I don’t!  But I can tell you that ranting and raving will get you just as much as relaxing and enduring in this situation.  I suppose since people like me aren’t important, we have no concerns of our own.  Fuck you, you stupid, self-centered bastard.”

There it was again, the simple truth, no frills.  He could see she wasn’t intimidated by him or she was bluffing very well.  Somehow it made things easier to deal with.  He had someone with him who gave him balance and it felt good, if a bit unfamiliar.  He reached for his cell and again hit the button that dialed Rosco.  He filled Rosco in on the bad news and told him to call and re-schedule.  “I don’t know, Rosco. Just make it clear that I have no control over the bloody situation and I’ll get there as soon as I can.  No…. just make them understand it isn’t my fault.”

He disconnected the call and made a gesture that said ‘Oh well’.  “What time is it?  It seems we’ve been in here forever.”  Jenny recognized an offer of truce and told him the time, 4:30 PM.  They had been in the elevator three hours.  The morning seemed very far away.  “God, I wish I had a smoke.”  He was really on edge and needed one. 

“You aren’t supposed to smoke in the elevators, but I won’t tell.  In fact I could use one myself.”  She wanted to re-establish a relaxed if not completely friendly bond, considering the length of time they would be together.

“I wish I hadn’t left them in the Limo. Fuck the rules.”  He gave her a giggle that reminded her of her friends back home when they stayed up on a sleep-over and told naughty things about the boys they knew.  She was lost in thought about those days so long ago and wondered if any of the girls were still there in her home town.  Maybe she would contact them when she returned in a couple of weeks.

“A penny for ‘em.”  His voice had softened and it startled her out of her revere. 

“I was just thinking about home and whether or not I could re-establish old connections now that I’ve been away so long.”  Her eyes were soft and introspective.  God, those eyes spoke volumes.

“Where is home?  I thought it was here.”  He saw that being away from home was as important to her as it was to him, another connection.

“I come from the Pacific Northwest, not far from Seattle.   A quiet little town…podunk nowhere.” 

“So why are you here?”

“My husband was born and raised here. He naturally wanted to come back when we got out of the Navy. That’s where we met.  Since all his family is here it made sense to him, so we did.  It just never has been my home.   Never will be, I’m too small town, too country.”

“So you’re married?”  Why did that disappoint him?  She was not his usual type and he wouldn’t even be here long enough to get involved.  Just the same he felt a twinge of jealousy.

“I’m widowed.  He went to work one day and collapsed with a heart attack.  He was dead before they got in contact with me.  That was three months ago.  I tried to go along with things as they were but I’m not happy.  I realized that now that he’s gone I’m free to go back where I belong.”

“So you’re leaving here?  Do you have children?” 

“Yes, two, a boy and a girl.  They’re grown.  They both rely on me way too much.  My leaving will be good for them.  They’ll have to become self-sufficient instead of always looking to me for every little thing.  I used the insurance money to pay off all my debts and I fixed up the house and gave it to them.  What they do with it after I leave is up to them.  I figure it’s the best I could do.  I won’t be able to leave them with anything substantial when I die so I gave it to them now.  I finish with my job next Friday and I’ll leave sometime after that.” 

There it was again, honest, open, no reason to hide an agenda.  He found he was far more relaxed than he had been for some time. 

“What will you do when you get where you’re going?  It seems a pretty risky move, just pack up and leave.  I hope you have some money stashed.  It can be hard setting up a new life without money.  I know. I’ve done it several times and I was younger than you at the time.  No insult intended.”

“None taken.  I’ve had my share of starting over more times than I care to recall, but I’m like a cat. I always land on my feet.  I don’t expect much so I don’t get too disappointed when things don’t go my way.  Life usually gives you what you need, not always what you want.  I’ve tried to be practical most of my life and it seems to get me through.  That and a true belief that God is in my corner even when it doesn’t seem like it.”

“So you’re religious.  I believe in God but don’t go to church.  My mum reminds me from time to time that a prayer on occasion is good.  Other than that I just sort of have my own relationship on a broader plane.”   He fingered the special cross his mum had given him.  He treasured it over all his possessions and truly felt it gave him some special protection.

“I’m not religious, not as far as going to church,” she said.  “I did when I was younger and when I was raising my children, more to ground them in the importance of something beyond us.  I don’t feel the need to confess all my sins to a priest or anyone else.  The Almighty knows what I’ve done and how I feel.  I think if I am the best I can be with other people and help when I can, that’s more important than sitting in a pew listening to the same rhetoric I’ve heard for years.”

They again lapsed into silence, digesting what was said and examining their own feelings. After a while Jenny felt the walls closing in and needed to disconnect from her thoughts.  Suddenly she said, “You know you have a whole box of very good cigars. Do you at least have a lighter?”

Roger shook himself and fished into one of his jeans pockets retrieving a lighter.  “Bet your sweet buns!  Although Tom isn’t going to be impressed when he finds some of his cigars are missing.”  He giggled and opened the box, offered her one of the expensive cigars and said, “These are really good with brandy.”

Jenny took one, bit the end off and waited for him to do the same.  Once done, he lit her cigar and then his.  He blew out a perfect ring of smoke and simply enjoyed the taste.   She on the other hand wafted in the sweet pungent smell.

They sat there grinning like two children indulging in something mum wouldn’t approve of, like it was when the teacher caught you passing notes.  A loud wailing interrupted their good time.  Caught!  The damn smoke alarm was screeching and sending notice to the guards below what they were doing. 

Shortly the disembodied voice returned and questioned what was going on.  Did they know that they could be fined and that it was dangerous if a fire started and were unable to get out?   Yes, yes, yes they understood, but geeze.

“You know we don’t even have bathroom facilities and it’s getting dry in here.  Have a little compassion.”   Jenny tried not to think of how thirsty and hungry she was.  Never mind the fact that she needed the restroom.

They snuffed out the cigars on the bottom of Rogers boot and he put them into his pocket.  “These are way too expensive to toss in the garbage.  I’ll clip the ends and use them later.  Maybe we can finish them when we get out, sort of a victory smoke,”  he laughed.

Chapter Three

They tried to get comfortable and relax, managing to pass sarcastic remarks about the elevator, the security guards, the elevator company and its lack of available parts.  They simply wiled away the time talking about lots of things and concentrating on nothing in particular.  

“I’m not going to make it all night without the dunnie,”  Roger complained.  “What time is it anyway?”

“With all your money I would think you’d have a Rolex to tell you.  It’s 1 AM.  I think I’ll try to sleep. Maybe you should, too.  At least if we sleep the time will go by faster.”  She shifted to lie on her side but found that it took up too much space from him.  The damn elevator was just not large enough.

Roger cleared his throat. “May I make a suggestion?  If we slept next to one another we could stretch out a bit better.  I promise I won’t attack you.”

“Well, hell, at least leave a lady the prospect of a fantasy,” she giggled.  Where did that come from?  She only said things like that to friends she knew wouldn’t take her seriously.  Was she toying with him?  That wasn’t like her.  Oh, well, she surmised she was just tired and not responsible for her silliness.

Roger slid up behind her so they could ‘spoon’, planting his front against her back, his arm draped across her waist.  It did give more leg room and the cuddle wasn’t bad either.   He could smell her hair still sweet with the aroma of whatever conditioner she had used.  It made sleeping harder than he first imagined. 

She, on the other hand, could feel his discomfort.  His arm was strong and wrapped solidly around her waist; his breath on the back of her neck was distracting.  She decided to just ignore the messages her body kept giving her.  She hadn’t been with anyone except her husband for well over 27 years.  Sex with David was far less fulfilling than she would have liked.  He never worried about what she needed; he opted instead to fulfill his own needs.  What would it be like with someone like this?  Never mind, just go to sleep.

After a time they both fell asleep and 2 hours went by in relative peace.  Jenny was awakened by Roger thrashing and moaning incoherent words.  She realized he was in the throws of a nightmare and needed to be awakened.  Gently at first, she shook him.  When he refused to wake up she really started to shake him.  “Roger…Roger, wake up! You need to wake up!” 

As if struck by a lightning bolt, he suddenly sat up and looked at her with wild eyes.  “Don’t touch me!  Leave me alone!”  He was sweating and breathing as if finishing a marathon.

“Roger, are you awake?  Are you okay?”  She was concerned he was still trapped by the dream.

“I’m fine. Just don’t touch me.”  He scooted back into the corner of the elevator and put his head on his knees in a sort of sitting fetal position like before.

Jenny retreated to the opposite corner in order to give him space.  She reasoned that whatever demon he was fighting he would have to fight it by himself.  Perhaps later she would offer to help if he seemed receptive, but not now.

They simply sat for almost an hour.  She watched him without being obvious as he struggled, sorting out the hell.

Finally he lifted his head and gave her a wan smile, hoping he hadn’t scared her too much.  “Sorry, Luv. I have these from time to time.  They usually make the person I’m with run for cover, but since you’re a captive audience I guess you’re stuck.”

“Want to talk about it?  I have a pretty good shoulder and....”

“Oh, yeah, I want to talk about it. I’m certain the tabloids would love to hear about it, too.”  He saw the concern in her eyes and knew she was just offering some consolation.  But hard lessons had been learned and he wasn’t about to re-learn them by telling anything about his personal life to a stranger, even if he wanted to.

Jenny immediately became insulted.  “I wouldn’t tell another soul. I don’t reveal confidences; it’s a matter of honor.” It was one of the hardest things to make others understand, that she held honor close to her heart.   It was one of those few things no one could give you and no one could take away.  It couldn’t be bought and should never be sold.   She found his rebuff not only hurtful but demeaning.  After a moment she reined in her temper and re-thought her feelings.  After all he didn’t know her and had no reason to put his trust in her.  She breathed a sigh and let it go.

“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you that way.  It’s just that I’ve had my dirty laundry aired so much it’s insane.  Every time it happens it takes a toll on my family, not just me.  I guess I just pull back with everyone, especially people I don’t know.  It isn’t anything personal.”  He could see she wasn’t happy but was willing to let it go.  Quiet time again and his darker thoughts crept back.  He wasn’t sure why but he finally decided to chance telling her about himelf.

“You said you were country, well, I have a farm.  You should see it.  I have horses, cattle, dogs, cats and some lesser-enjoyed wildlife.  It’s where I go to relax and refuel.  My family lives there. They’re great.  Although at present, they aren’t too receptive to me.  I guess I let them down and they are just as happy that I’m here for the time being.  I’ve been a fuck up most of my life but they forgive me since I provide for them.  Not that they don’t love me, they do.  It’s just that when it comes to responsibility I’ve sort of come up short.  You see, I broke my engagement with Claire.  It hasn’t hit the media yet.  My mum asked Claire not to say anything.  She thinks once I have a chance to think about it I’ll change my mind and do what’s right.  Since Mum’s on her side Claire has agreed to allow me a bit more time.”

“Why did you call off the engagement?” Jenny wondered.

“You hit it on the nail head earlier.  Claire simply won’t leave home and her friends to be a ‘camp follower’ as she puts it.  She has her career and is comfortable with staying in Australia to pursue it.  She feels that if I love her I should want to be at home with her.”

“Doesn’t she realize that means cutting your career to a minimum?  That would all but shut you out of Hollywood and other movie markets.  It would nearly mean retirement, wouldn’t it?”  Jenny knew the opportunity for movie making in Australia was far less than in the States or Europe.  Why couldn’t Claire see it?

“Yes, Claire knows that but she doesn’t care.  She feels that I’ve made my mark and I have enough money to be comfortable for life and then some.  I should just dabble now and again there at home while she continues with her career.  My family seems to agree that my marriage to Claire should be more important than expanding my own career.  That’s why they think I’m being irresponsible.   They think I’m giving up a wonderful women to keep a lonely, shallow life on the road.  I guess they’re right.  I don’t seem to know what I want.  On one hand I want to get married and raise a family and on the other hand I expect them to follow me to God knows where.  It does seem pretty irresponsible in that perspective.”

“How can you say that?  You provide a home and security for your whole family.  That seems pretty responsible to me.   I’ve read the stories about women and brawls, all that crap that sells magazines.  I don’t believe half the junk they print.  Even if it’s true, you usually hurt yourself more than anyone else.  I imagine you get pretty lonely and tired of being everywhere but where you want to be. Your family should understand.  If they don’t…tough!  They’ll get over it. If you marry Claire because they’ll be disappointed, then you’re a fool.  Believe me when I say, compromise is good but surrender isn’t.  If you give up a career to make her happy it will eventually destroy you both. You’ll end up resenting her for demanding it and you’ll hate yourself for giving it.  Your family should love you enough to let you decide what’s best.”  Jenny just opened Pandora’s Box and didn’t care.

“Had some experience with giving up, have you?”  Roger saw the taunt register in Jenny’s eyes.

“Yeah, I gave up what was important to me and all I got for the sacrifice was more sacrifice.  Both parties have to be willing to give otherwise one is doing all the giving and the other is doing all the taking.  That doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.  Throw in a kid or two and things get really complicated.  Living with someone who doesn’t want what you want is a lonely thing.  You drift from one day to the next and before you know it you wake up and find that the best days of your life were wasted on someone that never made you happy.  Life is too short for that.”  How well she knew this.

“Why didn’t you divorce him?”  Roger’s voice was nearly a whisper.

“I should have. I even had the chance but didn’t follow through.  It was more complicated than just signing papers and getting it over.  I was financially destitute, so was he, and there were the kids to think about.  I guess I hated to admit defeat since it was my fault in the first place.”

“How was it your fault?” 

“David left me and the children when they were young.  He wasn’t happy and moved out.  I was devastated at first.  I tried to be a good wife, took care of the house, the children, paid all the bills, worked full time, none of which he appreciated.  He wanted to be someone and we were keeping him from making his mark. After he left he asked me to go with him for marriage counseling.  I agreed and we went for several months.  In the end the psychologist declared that I was at fault since I didn’t make him live up to his responsibilities.  Never mind that he was a grown man, I was at fault for his lack of responsibility.  He also suggested that we divorce since the marriage was not viable.  I should have listened and gone through with it.  Instead I left David playing single while I stayed married and raised the kids.  It finally all came to a head when the kids admitted that Dad had introduced them to a lady he was seeing.  He decided to bring her to one of my son’s basketball games and flounce her in my face.  I called him and told him to get his ass over to the house, I wanted divorce papers started.  I guess it was getting real after that and he decided he wanted to come home.  I didn’t want him to, but financially it was the best thing.  We were on the verge of bankruptcy.  So I stuck with him and can’t blame anyone but myself for it.  It would have been far easier if I had just admitted that getting married was a mistake before we did it or at least divorced him before we had the kids.  You had the good sense to realize that if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.  I wish I had had the nerve and good sense to do the same.  The only good part was my kids.”

“What are their names?” 

“Donny and Julie.  Donny’s 24 and Julie is 22.  They were the only thing that made sense in all of it.”

Roger sighed, “I want children, too, but it doesn’t seem to be in the cards.  Here I am 40 already and I’m not even sure it would be fair to father a child now.”

Jennie could see how  sincere he was. “You know there are a lot of men nowadays who adopt as single parents.  Why don’t you consider that?   With your financial standing and all I would think you could do it easily enough.  Unless…you only want your own kids?”

“I thought of it actually.  But I can just see trying to justify my being a good father to a judge, with the background I have and no wife to offset it.  Just my lifestyle alone would probably disqualify me.”  He had spoken to several men in Hollywood who were single adoptive fathers.  They all highly recommended it.  However, they each made it clear that it was necessary to show responsibility and availability for the courts to recommend the adoption.  He simply wasn’t sure that he could be as available as he should be for someone who needed that much attention.   As far as responsibility was concerned, that was a whole other issue.

“I’ve seen pictures of you with kids before and you seem happiest when you’re with them.  I think you’d be a good father.”

“And this observation comes from a few pictures and the charming way I’ve treated you in the past few hours?”  He gave her a wry smile.

“No, I just see a man who needs to be needed, and would give his all to that person.”  It touched her heart when she saw pictures of him with different children.  They were usually kids of other actors or movie crew.  He seemed to return to his own childhood when playing with them.

“Claire might take issue with that.”

“Claire is a self-righteous bitch who has a beautiful smile and a Barbie doll figure.”  Oops, over the line.

“How would you know what Claire is like? You’ve never even met her.”  He was furious again and rightly so.  She didn’t know Claire and was deriving her opinions based on what she’d read and the fact that despite his temper and moodiness Jenny was starting to like Roger and was taking his part against Claire.

“You’re right, I never have.  I just never cared for how she was always the victim in the tabloids.  She was always the one who welcomed you back.  Believe me no woman is that forgiving without a reason.”

“She loved me.”

“Bullshit!  If she loved you so much why wasn’t she there making sure you didn’t get into trouble?  Why didn’t she give you the support you needed?”

“She did.  Every time I had a problem she listened to my side of the story and forgave me for whatever it was I had done.  Up until the last mess, that is.  Then she made it clear that I needed to sober up, stop the crap and come home.  I did and that’s when I gave her the engagement ring.  You should have seen her.  She was so happy.  I really thought I could go through with it.  I never meant to hurt her.  I just wanted to give her happiness and maybe find some for myself as well.” 

Roger’s voice softened.  “It seemed to work at first. I mean we spent a lot of time together and it seemed like old times.  Like when we first met.  But she had engagements she needed to fulfill and I was just in the way, distracting her.  She really became huffy when the media focused on my being there instead of focusing on her.  I can understand that, but it meant that I couldn’t be with her for a good portion of the time and it defeated the whole purpose of my being home.  She wanted me to wait for her at the farm.  I agreed and spent over two weeks there with only calls from her to fill in the time.  I was lonely. I guess that was when it hit me.  It wouldn’t work.  She didn’t want me with her and didn’t want to be with me except when it was convenient.  There were endless excuses for why we couldn’t be together.  The fact was, if I married her it wouldn’t change and I wanted more.  If that makes me selfish, then so be it.” 

“That wasn’t selfish, Roger. That’s being honest.  Marriage is hard enough when both parties are totally committed and support each other.  But when there are long separations and the support isn’t there, it can be a disaster.”

“But she did support me. She was always there when I needed her. She always forgave me for whatever I did.”

“No, she was on the phone.  There’s a big difference.  How can you read the other person over the phone?  Very little is conveyed via voice.  Most of what we understand about others comes from sight, smell, touch and body language.  Just a hug or a smile can make or break a mood.  So she forgave you, big deal. Why did you need her forgiveness?  She wasn’t there helping you.   On those rare occasions that she was, instead of standing up for you she cried in a corner and acted embarrassed at what happened.  She should have opened her stupid mouth and defended you.”

“Is that what you’d have done, knowing that I made a mountain out of a mole hill or got drunk and into a fight?” 

“You bet your sweet ass I would.  I might have chewed you out all the way back to the hotel, but in front of the media my man would have had my support, come hell or high water.”  Jenny always felt that loyalty and love should be recognized and rewarded.  Always support those you love or are loyal to even if you feel they are wrong.   

He had to digest what Jenny just said.  He knew she was right and on more than one occasion Claire simply left him feeling like a child being punished for doing something that he shouldn’t have.  Even on the occasions he felt he was right she worried more about the media take than about how he felt. Things were becoming clearer, things that he couldn’t put a finger on before.  Jenny made him look at things from a different perspective and what he saw wasn’t just him being difficult.  He wasn’t completely at fault like Claire always made him feel.  She was part of the problem but was far better at disguising it than he was.  Fuck Claire. 

“What’s your sign?”  Roger asked, changing the subject.

“I’m a Cancer, homebody, boring.”

Another giggle escaped and Roger announced his mum was also a Cancer.  “That would make your birthstone Pearl or Alexandrite. Doesn’t fit you.”

“Well, yours fits you perfectly.  You’re an Aires, right?  Diamond, beautiful, brilliant, can cut through anything including bullshit.  I don’t take my birth month. I relate to my astrological stone better.”

“And that is?”

“Emerald. After all, my ancestors came from the Emerald Isle.  My maiden name was O’Brian.”

“That fits you perfectly.”  What Roger didn’t say was that the emerald is very rare, very hard to find and was as beautifully green as her eyes.  Roger suddenly realized that Jenny really was an emerald, rare and hard to find.

The disembodied voice was back, explaining that the elevator should be fixed in about 5 minutes and they would be out in no time.  They both stood up in anticipation.

Jenny announced, “Thank God!”  She shouted with all sincerity, “Make sure no one is standing in the doorway when it opens.  I am making a beeline to the ladies room. They’re liable to be run over.”  After all it had been almost 16 hours since being locked up in here and things were getting serious.  She wasn’t even sure she’d make it to the ladies room without incident.

“Make that two!”  Roger roared.  He started giggling at the impending sight, both of them running for the dunnie.  “By the way, where is it?  I won’t have time for directions once the doors open.”

“Just follow me, if you can keep up, and don’t make me laugh or you’ll have a flood to contend with.”  Jenny was fairly dancing with need.  “We look like two little kids, you holding yourself and me dancing.”  She was trying her best not to laugh but couldn’t help it.

At long last the elevator began to move and, wonder of wonders, the doors opened to the lobby.  True to their words, Jenny and Roger made a mad dash to the bathrooms.  Jenny’s was first and she indicated to Roger the next door was his as she ducked into the ladies room.  Thank God she’d worn elastic top pants! Things went so much faster.  She finished, washed her hands and stepped out the door into the lobby.  Roger was just coming out as she did.  “Everything work out?” she asked, smiling.

“Almost didn’t make it.  I wear button fly jeans and nearly tore the buttons off getting loose.”  He was laughing and looked absolutely devastating, none the worse for wear.  She, on the other hand, had gotten a good look at herself in the mirror.  She could scare an axe murderer into becoming a priest just by looking at him.

She turned to the security guard at the desk and announced, “I need to get my purse from Suite 299 and you’ll need to unlock the parking garage so I can get my car out.” 

“Can’t do it,” the guard said.  “The parking garage doesn’t open for another half hour and I’m not allowed to give anyone access to the offices who doesn’t have a card.” 

Jenny was in no mood for stupidity and got right up in the guard's face.  “I don’t give a flying fuck about your rules.  I just spent 16 hours on that elevator,” she pointed to it for emphasis, “and I’m tired and hungry and I want my purse from my office and I want my car from the garage.  If it doesn’t happen in the next 3 seconds you’ll have to explain to the building management and your boss why I brought a massive law suit against the building and your security firm.  Don’t screw with me!”

The security guard had seen angry people before but this lady fairly spit fire.  Her eyes could have killed and he knew he was on thin ice.  Prudence dictated that he re-group and placate this fiery female.

“Look, I just came on duty and didn’t know.  I’ll take you up to your office and let you get your bag, okay?”

“And the car?”

“No problem.”

“Good! Let’s go.”  She turned to see Roger just standing there grinning.  “Well?”

“Great performance, worthy of an Oscar.”  He pulled her to him away from the guard and spoke in a low voice.  “I was just thinking, maybe you’d come have brekkie with me.  Rosco will be here shortly. He booked a room for me at the hotel down the street.  We could order room service and relax.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.  What if someone saw us together?” Her tones as hushed as his.  “The media would be all over it and your mom would really kill you then.”

“No worries. Rosco will escort you up after I arrive.  Just park your car and look for the big burly guy with a shaved head in the lobby. He’ll bring you to me.”  That was an interesting choice of words he thought, a Freudian slip maybe?

She stood and thought a moment.  Should she go?  It was only an offer to have breakfast.  She wasn’t his type and she was much older than him.  He’d never look at her in that way even if she wanted him to.  What’s the harm, just breakfast and go home?  “Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Through the huge lobby window they could see the limo drive up and Rosco step out.  “See you soon, Luv.”  Roger turned and walked through the double doors to the waiting car.  She watched him as he slid into the back seat.  He wiggled his fingertips toward her in a small wave as Rosco closed the door and slipped into the front.  The limo pulled away and she sighed and turned back to the waiting guard.  “Lead on, Jeeves.”

Chapter Four

Getting her purse posed no problem but finding the right keys to the parking garage did.  The guard was really new, his second day, and he wasn’t sure which key worked.  She had gone up to the level her car was on and drove down to the locked gates waiting for them to be opened.  After 15 minutes of fiddling she finally drove free of the garage.  She had left a note for Connie explaining what happened and that she had no intention of coming to work.  They could charge her day off to the building but she was not giving up a sick day or a vacation day for not being in.  She needed every dime she could get when she left to start her new life.  What kind of new life was she facing?  Maybe she’d take the path less traveled this time and find something more worthwhile.

She arrived at the hotel and parked per instructions.  Walking into the lobby she was immediately beset by Rosco. “You’re Jenny, right?”    He took her arm without even waiting for a response.  He had seen her through the window at the office building.  They walked to the elevator banks and he pressed the button.  “No worries, the lifts here actually work,” he said grinning.  “Roger’s concerned at how long you were taking.”

“They couldn’t get the gates to the parking garage unlocked.  I had to wait until they did.”  She didn’t face him, he was a very imposing man at 6”4” and over 270 lbs, and made her feel small,  something not many men did. She wasn’t small at 5’8” and hardly petite at 150 lbs. but she was large-boned and carried her weight well. 

The elevator opened and Rosco punched in the penthouse, swiping a special card as he did.  The elevator went straight to the top and the doors opened to a floor with three doors.  Rosco guided her to the first door and opened it.

Roger was standing there and looked up as she walked in.  “Where the hell have you been?  I was worried.  Couldn’t you call or something instead of leaving me hanging?”  He was really miffed and she was taken aback with the force he used.

“First of all, there was nothing to be worried about.  Second of all, I didn’t have a phone to call with and didn’t have your number even if I had.  Third, I didn’t realize I had to check in with anyone, much less you.”  She could be miffed, too.

He saw she wasn’t impressed with his possessiveness and decided to change tack.   “Jenny, I’m sorry. I was just worried.”  He gave her a slight pout that tugged at her heart.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a black belt and I haven’t forgotten how to defend myself.”

“I wasn’t as worried about your personal safety. You’re on your own home ground. I was worried that you had changed your mind and decided not to come.”  He looked shy and off center.

“I admit I thought about it after you left, but I don’t go back on someone once I make a commitment.  Unless of course I think that person is crazy, which you are, or dangerous, which you certainly are, or funny, which you definitely are.  So I came anyway.”  She grinned and he knew he was forgiven.

“I held off ordering brekkie. What would you like?”  He moved to the phone to order room service.

“What I really want is a shower but since I’d have to change back into the same clothes I guess it’s silly.”

“Go get a shower. That door there,” he said, pointing.  “There’s a big fluffy bath robe on the shelf. Use it until I order.  There are toiletries, toothbrushes, anything you need in the drawer.  When I’m done I’ll rummage through my clothes and maybe I can come up with something.”

She headed for the door and opened it to the most breathtaking view she had ever seen.  It was the master bedroom and three of the 'walls' were glass.  It overlooked Ft. Lauderdale from 15 stories up.  She didn’t dawdle though and found the bathroom right off.  Bathroom, ha!  It was the size of her house.  Double mirrors, walk in closets (one on either side) his and hers, she surmised, a commode, bidet and huge whirlpool tub.  The shower was huge with multiple shower heads.  Was she going to enjoy this!   She found the personal soap bars and picked one with a peach fragrance, and a shampoo with the same scent.  She found a hotel-provided toothbrush and toothpaste as well as mouth wash.  Armed to do battle for good hygiene she turned on the water and stepped in. It was heaven on earth.

When she finished, she stepped out, toweled dry and put the bath robe on, then turned to drying her hair with the hotel hair dryer.  Her hair had natural wave and looked presentable.  Now for the face, some blush, light eye shadow and light liner.  A touch of lipstick and she was ready to face breakfast. 

When she stepped back into the living room Roger smiled and beckoned her over to him.  “You look refreshed, Luv.”

“I definitely am.  I’d sell myself on a street corner to have that shower in my house,” she giggled.

“The food should be here soon.  Come sit down and tell me more about your self.  Are you really a black belt or was that a bluff, too.”

“What do you mean ‘too’?  I very rarely bluff unless I’m in over my head and have no other option.”  He had seen through her bluff when they were stuck on the elevator.  She had been intimidated by his anger regarding the uninvited advice she’d given.   But, dammit, the advice was good and he was just being a pain in the ass.  She wasn’t about to let him kowtow her.  It just wasn’t in her.

She sat down on the couch opposite him and thought a moment.  When she looked up she saw he was studying the play across her face.  “I think I left you with the impression that David was a louse.  He wasn’t.  He wasn’t a good husband and only a marginal father, but he did love me and the kids in his own way.  He always worked, never abused me physically or the kids, beyond a spanking when they needed it.  But he just wasn’t in tune with what we needed, me in particular. 

Most of our married life he slept on the couch, only coming to bed when he needed relief.  He had extra-marital affairs and thought I was too stupid to know it.  We just weren’t a good match.  I didn’t give him what he wanted, either.  I was emotionally closed off early in the marriage, reacting to how he treated me.  It wasn’t until I woke up one day a few months before my 50^th birthday and decided I simply didn’t want to waste any more time with the wrong person.  I told him that if things didn’t change I was leaving him. 

At first he didn’t believe me and we fought.  Then we started talking and he told me all the things that he needed and I told him what I needed.  He agreed to try and so did I.  The ironic part is that we were actually starting to get closer when he died.  What a shame that it came too late for both of us.”  She was near tears and didn’t want to cry so she stopped.

“Fifty?  You’re fifty?”  He knew she was a bit older but not ten years.  She certainly didn’t look her age.  It didn’t matter; she still made him think evil thoughts.  What was that saying about mature women?  He’d had his share and he found they were far more giving than younger women.  Rosco called them grateful, but Roger suspected it was more than that.  They just seemed to be more in touch with deep feelings, maybe experience or a need to heal old wounds.

“Roger, how could you not guess?  I wasn’t trying to fool you. Do the numbers.”

“I guess I just didn’t think about it.  What does it matter anyway?  Mates don’t have to be the same age.  I have one mate that’s 75.  He’s great, tells the best stories and can down a bottle of vodka and walk away without swaying.”

“Well, I may become a good mate but I don’t think I’ll try to finish a bottle of vodka and walk anywhere except the morgue maybe.”  He had lifted her thoughts away from David’s death and the regret she felt.  She laughed. Laughter is good for the soul.

There was a knock at the door and Rosco rose from his perch behind the bar, to answer it.  Breakfast had arrived and Rosco signed for it.  He wheeled it in and Roger stood up, offering his hand to help Jenny up.  “Hungry?”

“I could eat the ass out of an elephant,” she laughed. 

He liked her laugh; he liked her.

Lifting one of the lids he mourned, “Shit! They forgot the elephant. Will rhino do?”

They both laughed and sat down to dig in.  He was happy to see she wasn’t one of those picky eaters.  She sampled everything and complimented him on his choices.  He took pleasure watching her trying things she had never had before.  He wanted to introduce her to many new things if he could convince her to stay with him. One thing at a time.

They finished and almost simultaneously yawned.  A big breakfast and little sleep had finally caught up to them. 

“Well, I guess I’d better get dressed and on the road.  I’ll be lucky to get home without falling asleep at the wheel.”  Jenny really didn’t want to leave but she needed to go before she was unable to.

“How far is your home?”

“About 15 miles.  It’s mostly interstate driving, but a fairly straight shot.”  She stood up to go to the bedroom to change.  Roger caught her hand, holding her next to him.

“Please don’t leave.  I wouldn’t feel right if you had an accident trying to get home.”  He gave her a strange look, pleading and more.  What was it in those eyes, need or concern?

“I’ll be fine.”  She wasn’t sure she would but was even more uncertain about staying here with him.

“I need you, Jenny. Stay with me.”  There was no mistaking what he was asking and she was under no illusions about this being anything more than a fling.  But looking in his eyes she realized that she needed him, too.

“All right, Roger.”

He rose, still holding her hand, and led her to the Master bedroom.  He left her standing unsure what to do and touched a button on the wall.  The curtains closed, running on an automatic track.  The room was soon in near darkness and Roger walked back to her.  He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, just holding her there, feeling her curves and drinking in her fresh smell.  Then he led her over to the bed and made her sit down.  He went to get a tee shirt and opened a new package of underwear, taking a pair out.  He returned to Jenny and handed them to her.  “I hope you don’t mind men’s underwear. At least they’re new.”

She looked at him and smiled, rose and went to the bathroom to change.   She hung the robe on the back of the door and returned to where Roger lay under the covers.  He pulled them back and waited for her to slide in next to him.  He wrapped his arm around her waist like he had on the elevator, and snuggled her in close to him.  He didn’t say anything, just put his face near her neck, lips resting against her shoulder.  She fell asleep feeling very protected.

They hadn’t been asleep more than perhaps 3 hours when she was again awakened by the same nightmare he had before.  He was desperate, flailing arms and incoherent words.  She again tried to wake him and nearly got hit for her efforts.  He just couldn’t seem to break free from the dream.  In desperation she went to the bathroom and got a wash cloth and wet it.  Returning to the bed she touched his face with it and he woke with a start.  “Roger, are you okay?  Roger…Roger, answer me.”

“Leave me alone, don’t touch me.  I’m fine. Just don’t touch me.”  The same wild look was back.  He needed something, but what?  She wanted to comfort him but wasn’t sure it would be welcomed.  She decided the best thing was to lie back down and let him come to her.  She did just that, adjusting the pillow and straightening the bed clothes.  She feigned sleep.  Soon he had calmed enough to slide back down next to her. 

She lay there for nearly an hour waiting for him to fall asleep.   But she could tell sleep either wouldn’t come or he wouldn’t let it.  She finally turned to face him and said quietly, “Tell me what’s wrong.  Having this kind of nightmare takes a mental toll as well as physical.  I promise I’ll go to the grave with whatever it is.”

“I can’t. You won’t think of me right afterwards.  It’s something from the past that won’t let me go.”

“Roger, I’ve seen a lot in my life and I try not to judge too harshly.  We all have skeletons and things we aren’t proud of.  That’s what makes us who we are instead of cookie cutter copies.  There’s very little short of death that can’t be fixed. That’s why the sun rises, so we can start a new day with new hope.  Please tell me. I know it will help to talk about it.”

He waited so long that she felt he had decided against telling her.  She started to turn over when he said something so quietly she couldn’t make out what he said.  “What did you say?  I couldn’t hear you.”

“I was ten. You know the kind of kid, not bad, just always into something?  Dad and Mum owned a restaurant, not fancy just good home cooking, local hangout for the neighborhood.  They were having a hard time of it.  I heard them talking about money problems and how they might lose the restaurant.  I felt bad. They’d put every dime they had in it and it would have killed them to start over again.  One of the blokes who always hung around, a seedy hoon, intimated to me that he had work for me and would pay me a goodly amount to help him.  I wanted nothing more than to give Mum and Dad some money and make it easier for them.  So I said yes, and he took me off to his place.  He said it would be carpenter type work and he would help me learn his power tools.  I thought it was great, but something didn’t feel right.  I should have known something was wrong. 

"He showed me his power tool all right, but it wasn’t what I expected.  He had me trapped and I couldn’t get away.  I tried, I really did but he had his way with me and threatened to kill my parents and brother if I said anything to anyone.  I bled for three days and skipped school so I didn’t have to sit in the chair.  I hid out at an abandoned warehouse.  My brother, George, knew something was up but didn’t press me.  I’m not sure how I managed to keep it a secret.  The fourth day I came to the restaurant as if I had come from school.  My dad caught me and gave me a real pounding for going truant.  All I could think of was that I’d start bleeding again and they’d find out.”   Roger’s voice had been controlled and almost aloof until then.  Tears started running down his face and suddenly the dam burst.  He was racked with sobs coming from the very depths of his soul.

Jenny cradled him to her and rocked him like a child.  She told him it wasn’t his fault, that he was the victim.  He hadn’t done anything wrong.  She told him what she would’ve done if she had been there.  To take advantage of a child that way and then threaten to kill the ones he loved most was abhorrent at best.  She was completely outraged and felt his pain in her heart.  Gradually he quieted and eventually fell asleep.  She was afraid to sleep for fear he would start the dream again.  Exhaustion finally claimed her and she slept, still holding him close.

Chapter Five

The dream didn’t come again and they managed to sleep well past three in the afternoon.  Jenny awoke to soft caresses across her hips and light kisses on her shoulder.  She could feel his arousal next to her butt and it made her feel warm inside.  He whispered something soft to her and let her know he wanted her.  She wanted him, too, but she hadn’t been with anyone but David and was unsure how to respond. 

In answer to her uncertainty he gently rolled her over on her back and started doing wonderful things with his very skilled mouth.  He started with a light teasing kiss, then a more probing one.  He was very careful and considerate, yet exploring her needs.  She had never had a lover like him, certain but caring of her shyness.  He touched her, licked her, made every nerve ending feel alive.   He made love to her as if she were the most precious thing in the world.  When they both lay spent and quiet, it seemed very ‘right’.  More right than she could have imagined.  He had worshipped her body and she had responded like never before.

They were wrapped in a cocoon of caring.  Not love maybe, but caring.  She had taken a burden from him and he felt it. He needed her to stay with him.  He needed her to help him with the burdens to come.  How could he make her understand?  She should have the best and he wasn’t.  Did he even deserve what she could offer? Probably not.   All he could do now was hold on to her and hope she would stay.

They lay there for a long time just holding each other, reluctant to let go of the comfort each gave to the other.  Rosco knocked lightly on the door and Roger slipped on his jeans and left the room.  A short time later he re-entered and came to sit on the bed next to Jenny.  She could see his troubled look even in the half light.

“What’s wrong?”

“Claire was on the phone.  She was demanding to know where I was and why I wasn’t where I ought to be.  It was a real scene.” 

“So what did you tell her?”

“The truth…except for you.  Rosco said the execs I’m supposed to meet with decided to give me another opportunity on Tuesday, so I told her I was staying here until Monday.  She wasn’t happy but she’ll get over it.”

Roger could see something was wrong. Jenny’s eyes were clouded and had a faraway look.  He immediately recognized what it was.  They had just made love and he was talking about his fiancée.  He didn’t want to leave her with the idea that Claire was important. 

“Jenny, I couldn’t say anything to her about you.  She would’ve called the engagement off and run to the papers, not to mention my parents.  I need time to plan how to handle this.”

“Handle what?  There is nothing to be handled.  We had a moment and it’s over.  I’ll just get my clothes changed and Rosco can take me out the back so no one will know I was here.”  Jenny started to get up but Roger caught her and held her down.  “Let go of me!” she demanded.  Still he held her.  She was becoming angry and struggled.  She was a lot stronger than she looked. 

“Don’t struggle. I’ll let you up.  But before I do I want you to promise we’ll talk before you leave. Please.”  He said it with such sincerity she agreed.  After he released her she sat up, drawing the bed clothes around her.  He didn’t know where to start.  He reached over and stroked her face then swept a finger lightly over her lips.  “I told you I was a fuck-up from way back.  But this time I don’t want to.  I feel something very special with you and I think you feel it, too.  I can’t say it’s love yet, but it’s special.  I need time to see where this is going and I don’t want you hurt with media crap.  Please trust me like I did you.  I promise I won’t knowingly or deliberately hurt you.  I told you I’m not in love with Claire and I’m not marrying her.  But if I don’t handle this right she can do incredible damage to you and hurt my family in the process.  I just need time to make things right.  Will you trust me?” 

She wasn’t certain why but she did trust him and she also realized that somewhere between 1:30 yesterday and 4:00 pm today that she had fallen in love with him.  Ridiculous, that’s what it was, completely ridiculous.  How can you fall in love with someone you barely know?  It couldn’t work. She was too old for him for one thing and he wanted children, something she couldn’t give him.  But there it was. She loved him and would have gone to the Himalayas and lived in a tent if he asked her to.  Nuts that’s what, nuts! 

She nodded her head in assent and he gathered her in his arms.  “Thank you, Luv.  I’ll do my best to make you never regret it.”

They got up and dressed, then moved to the living room.  Rosco sat perched at the bar as if he’d never moved.  He looked at Roger and smiled.  It was the first time in a very long time he looked rested and relaxed.  Jenny had a very positive effect and he was glad to see it. 

Roger’s cell phone rang and Jenny jumped.  He grabbed it ready to chew out Claire for calling again.  His face and voice softened when he realized it was his mum.  “I was going to call you but it was a long night and I needed to sleep. I was stuck in a lift all night.  They didn’t get us out until 5:30 this morning.  Yes, us. One of the locals was with me, a very nice widow woman.”  Roger turned to Jenny, smiled and winked.  “I had to let the jet go on to L.A. and I was too tired to be bothered with a commercial flight so I took a room here. ….They arranged to see me on Tuesday morning.  I’ve decided I like Ft. Lauderdale more than L.A. so I’m staying here until Monday. … Mum, you know how much I hate L.A.  Maybe I’ll travel up to West Palm and shop at some of the stores there.  Can I bring you something?  …Okay.  By the way what was Claire doing waking you up in the middle of night? Doesn’t she have any sense? …Worried?  I doubt that.  Mum if she were so worried why didn’t she try to come with me? …Well, if she still wanted to get married I would have thought she’d want to protect her territory.  …Look I’m 40 years old, and I can take care of myself.  …I don’t want to go down that road again right now. … Leave off, Mum.  Tell Dad and George I love them and I’ll see you all soon.  Ta.”

He punched off the cell and threw it at the couch.  Bloody hell!   He was working up a real tirade but when he looked at Jenny he let it go.  He walked over to her and put his arms around her, kissed her forehead and said, “So much for well wishes from home.  Let’s order an early dinner and see if they send the elephant this time.”  Jenny was smiling despite the conversation she’d just heard.

Dinner arrived, minus the elephant, but the food was wonderful.  She again complimented him on his choices and mentioned that she’d have to walk halfway to the moon to get rid of the calories she was eating.  She told him last night that walking was how she lost 40 lbs and kept them off.  It was low impact and good cardio.  He suggested they go somewhere after dark and take a long walk.  She suggested Hollywood Beach.  The tourists were gone by now and the beach would be theirs.  “Why not Ft. Lauderdale Beach?” he asked.

“Because it’s too well lighted and someone is bound to recognize you there.”  Hollywood Beach would be all but deserted and no one would expect to see a celebrity like him…made sense. 

Jenny took an hour to go shopping at a local clothes store.  She had nothing but her work clothes to wear.  Although wearing Roger’s briefs was somewhat erotic she was far more comfortable in women’s wear.  She chose casual clothes, shorts and tees.  She picked up underwear and comfortable shoes.  Roger wanted her to put it on his AmEx but she refused.  She could buy her own things.

After she returned to the hotel she showed him what she bought and they sat talking about everything.  He liked the fact that she was intelligent and, though not formally schooled beyond high school, she could hold her own in conversation.  He also appreciated the fact that when she knew little or nothing on the topic she said so.  On several occasions he explained things to her and she seemed receptive to his teachings.  She could be very impassioned on subjects she felt strongly about and gave him as good as she got.  He often became the devil's advocate just to see her response.

Jenny mentioned that other Aussie actor who seemed to be in competition with Roger.  “He’s a good mate. We are often pitted against each other for parts since our acting style is close, but we get on.  He’s the one who turned me on to a farm.  He has one and highly recommended it.  The media has tried to make us rivals and they’ve written plenty of untrue crap about both of us.  We parallel one another in as much as he’s had the bad boy image and Prima Donna cloak placed on him as well.  The big difference is he’s a wanna be Aussie and I’m the real thing.  Also it seems he finally settled down with a nice girl and is happy.  You know his wife is an actor and musician and has a decent career going.  But they seem to be working things out.  He’s a lucky man.”

“I wish you could have, with Claire, that is.  It would be so much easier for you.”  She knew that any relationship they might have would be an uphill climb, perhaps against insurmountable odds.  She didn’t want him to be left lonely again with another broken affair.  She didn’t need the heartache or the regret if things didn’t work out.

“Jenny, Claire isn’t right for me. I’m not him.  I need different things than he does.  I guess I don’t really want a wife who has a career.  Maybe that’s selfish but I want a wife who wants to be just a homemaker, someone like my mum.  She worked because she had to not because she wanted to.  She would have given her right arm to just take care of the house and raise kids.  Could you do that or would you need a job away from the house?”    He was extending a feeler that he wasn’t sure she’d accept, but he needed to know.

“Roger, I’ve worked since I was old enough to harvest fruits and vegetables in the summer.  I worked to buy my own clothes and give myself spending money.  My dad worked at a job that didn’t pay much and we were always short.  He did real well for us as a dad; he just didn’t make much money.   I never resented working.  But the truth is, if David could have supported us without my income I would have gladly stayed home. 

"I know my children wanted me to be there at home when they got out of school.  They told me so when I was laid off and out of work for six months.  They were never happier than when I picked them up from school and took them home.  They hated day care and it hurt me to send them back when I finally got another job.  I did what I had to do but it doesn’t mean that’s what I wanted.  Of course at this time in my life, all I can do is be a wife.  There are no more children in my future.  I’m beyond having babies anymore.”  She said it with sadness in her eyes and he didn’t miss the fact.

“Would you have another baby if you could?”

“Yes, it’s just not possible.”

“You mentioned adoption last night. How would you feel about that?” 

“Babies are babies.  I wouldn’t have to go through another pregnancy in order to love it like my own.”  She continued, tentatively, “If you and I do work out and we were to adopt a child, I would want to raise that child myself.  No day care, no nannies, no one but you and me.”

Rosco started to pick up the phone to call for the limo but Roger stopped him. “I think Jenny can drive me there and get me back safe enough.”   Rosco wasn’t happy about this turn of events.  He was paid to protect Roger and he couldn’t if he wasn’t there.  Roger won by reminding Rosco who signed his pay check.  Though that wasn’t entirely true, it was close enough.

ON TO CHAPTER 6

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