WHEN IT RAINS

By Atonia Walpole

Part 1

Mark Sutter rode the elevator to the 52^nd floor of his father’s office building. He was rumpled, hungry and tired. John Freeman, who was to be his personal assistant, stood beside him, straight and tall on his spare frame, holding Mark’s leather bag, which contained a change of clothes among other things.

Mark gave him the once over. There had been such a rush at the airport he hadn’t had time to recognize the man. Hair dark combed straight back just touching his collar in the back, sharp dark eyes. As they neared the floor John turned to Mark.

“Sir, you will have exactly 22 minutes to shower and change for the meeting.”

“Think I might get something to eat in that 22 minutes?”

“I’ll see what I can do for you.” And with that the elevator door opened into William Sutter’s private suite.

Mark followed him into a lavish bedroom with attached bath and shrugged out of his leather jacket.

“The bath is just though here. You should find everything you need.” John Freeman moved out of the room so quickly Mark hadn’t time to put in an order for food.

Mark shook out his clothes and went into the shower. As he stood under the force of the water trying to wake up and get his mind functioning again, he thought about what had brought him to New York. His father had passed away and the job of CEO had landed in Mark’s lap, a job he did not want and had no interest in.

He wrapped himself in the oversized towel, padded back to the bedroom and lit a cigarette. The wall sized window was uncovered and he walked over, looking out over rooftops and at the side of other buildings. There was nothing there he wanted to look at. Hearing the elevator door open out in the hall, he tightened the towel around his waist and walked out. A white deli bag was sitting on the table. Mark put out his cigarette and pulled out a sandwich and a can of Coke.

“You must hurry, sir. Mr. Sutter was never late and this is an important meeting.” Freeman walked up to Mark as he chewed his sandwich.

“S’not my idea, this meeting,” Mark swallowed. “If I’m late...they will wait.”

“Yes sir. May I get your clothes ready for you?”

“Suit yourself.” Mark took a swig of the Coke.

“Mr. Sutter, you do not have a tie?”

“I don’t wear ties.” Mark swallowed a second bite of his sandwich.

“But, sir…would you wear mine?”

“No…I would not.” Mark gave up on the deli meal and came into the bedroom. “Now if you don’t mind…” He loosened the towel around his waist.

Mark sat quietly and patiently at the head of the long conference table as one by one the department heads or whatever they were offered their condolences and gave him a brief report of how things stood in their respective areas. They may as well have been speaking  Swahili for all he understood but he was polite, nodding his head when it seemed appropriate to do so.  A question was asked of him.

“Right now I have no idea. This came rather suddenly. I need some time,” he answered.

Freeman finally called the meeting to an end when it appeared Mark had nothing else to say. Once again words were said as the people left the room with their notebooks and laptops. One lone woman was left at the table.

“Hello, Lillipop.” Mark tilted his head with a half smile.

“Hello Mark. I never thought to see you sitting at the head of this table.”

“That makes two of us.”

Lilly Francis had been his father’s secretary and Mark had known her since he was in college a good ten years ago.

“What will you do?”

“I have no idea. I found out about this yesterday morning.”  He sat back in his chair and stretched, the last twenty four hours coming down on him, the meeting with his father’s solicitor in London, the phone calls, flight arrangements and the long flight across the pond.

“This is impossible…you do know that.” He brought his arms back on the table and ran a hand through his crisp curling hair.

Lilly smiled, “Nothing is impossible for you…the golden boy.”

“I haven’t been golden for a long time, Lilly.”

“Your father thought you were.” Lilly moved from the middle of the table to where he sat and took a chair by him. “I can help you find your way here. There are several trusted members of the team I can send to you to get you up to speed.”

“I don’t want to be here.” He looked away toward the large glass window wall. “Figure out how to get me out of this. There has to be something some clause somewhere that says I don’t have to take it over. Doesn’t ignorance count for something?”

“That wouldn’t apply to you anyway,” she smiled softly. “It’s up to you. You have 128 people in your employ in this office building looking to you for direction.”

He looked back and met her eyes. “I have 22 in London in my employ also looking for direction, another seventy-odd in the north. I don’t need this. I don’t want it, Lillipop. This was Dad’s baby, not mine.”

Lilly was caught in that direct look he gave her. He had his father’s eyes but there was fire behind the blue-green gaze he was directing at her. They’d had a brief affair before he left for London ten years ago, Lilly was five years older than Mark, thirty-nine years old and married to her career.

“I’m afraid it’s your baby now, Mark.”

“I haven’t slept in twenty-four hours. Come put me to bed.”

“My duties do not include bedtime stories.”

“You never sang lullabies to my Dad?” he smiled slightly.

Lilly got up and left the room. Mark looked down at the table and wasn’t happy with himself. Whatever comfort his Dad may have found in Lilly wasn’t his business. He sighed and got up and followed her out. Freeman was waiting for him.

“Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it. I’m going upstairs and sleep for awhile.” He passed by Freeman.

“Sir, it was only dinner arrangements.”

“Arrange it and let me know later. I’m asleep on my feet right now.”

“Yes sir. I’ll check in with you in about four hours. Will that be satisfactory?”

Mark didn’t answer. He was headed for the elevator.

He propped himself up on pillows and placed a call to London, to Carol Margolis, his on and off again partner for the last four years. Right now it was on.

“Mark, what happened to you? Marge said you’d gone to New York.”

“Yeah, that’s where I am. Sutter Vision is now mine, a little something added to the old man’s will he never discussed with me, so I’m over here trying to sort things out. Sorry about missing the opening. Did it go well?”

“Yes, very well, a nice write-up in the papers.” Carol was an artist and just opened her own gallery. “Arthur stuck close by my side since you were absent.”

“Good for him, good for you.”

“Not good for me. I missed you. When are you coming back?”

“I don’t know,” he ran his hand over his face, “maybe a week…I got to get some sleep. I’ll call you, Carol.”

“Good luck, Mark, and good night to you.”

It was still daylight outside so Mark went over and closed the heavy curtains blocking out the light. He was asleep within the next five minutes.

Part 2

“I took the liberty, Sir, of shopping for you this afternoon. Your luggage was sadly lacking in proper attire for New York City.” Freeman rattled on while Mark sat on the side of the bed watching as he hung things in the closet.

“These few things are not up to your standard of tailored suits and shirts but will do in a pinch.” He turned with a tight little smile.

“You’ve been out shopping whilst I slept?” Mark asked.

“Well…not exactly…a personal shopper was engaged.”

“What exactly is it you do, Freeman?”

“My job, Sir, is to look after you, make sure you are where you are supposed to be and on time and dressed appropriately. I will also be bringing you the latest business briefings once they begin. I am to see you eat properly and if any medical attention is required, I have a list of numbers to call.”

“You’re a fucking nanny. Is this what you did for my father?”

“Ahem, yes sir, for the last eight years.”

Mark looked at him standing at attention. The bloke took himself way too seriously. “I am assuming you are paid well for these services.”

“Yes, Sir…very well.” And he hoped to continue to be paid for his service.

Mark got up and reached for the robe laid across the foot of his bed. “You’ve booked a table somewhere for dinner?”

“Not I, Sir...you are the guest of Creighton-Jones.”

“Okay, fill me in…who the hell is Creighton-Jones?”

“One of our largest investors, Sir. Quite right you should meet right away.”

“Quite right,” Mark repeated and padded to the bathroom to refresh himself. Freeman continued his praise of Creighton-Jones and their importance to Sutter Vision. Mark was only half listening, drying his face with a fluffy towel.

He found his ‘proper attire’ arrayed on the end of the bed when he came out and Freeman had closed the bedroom door, leaving him alone to dress.

The company car and driver delivered him to Chenin’s, an upscale restaurant where he waited while a host came to direct him to a high backed booth. His eyes flashed when he saw the occupant.

“Mark Sutter, is it? I’m Jo Creighton.” She extended her hand.

“Pleased to meet you.” Mark waited until she sat back down before sitting across from her. “I wasn’t expecting a woman.”

She smiled, revealing a single dimple on the left side of her full lips. “I suppose it’s my name. Jo is short for Joanne, closest thing my father got to a son. I’m sorry about your father, Mr. Sutter.”

“Call me Mark. Thanks…it was rather sudden.” He let his eyes fall over her, long dark hair caught up in the back, black suit, fitted with a little white lacy something peeking out from the top. Her eyes were dark blue and if she wore makeup it was done discreetly.

“I wanted to meet you personally, away from the trappings of work. My company and yours have a long relationship. I want to make sure it will continue….prosperous….long term…

Whatever she was saying was lost on Mark. He was watching her mouth as she spoke, only catching a word here and there. He’d checked her left hand…no ring. Finally he realized she had stopped speaking and he was supposed to say something.

“If you want to meet me personally, let’s leave the office in its trappings.” He gave the waiter his drink order. “I don’t work after dark,” he smiled charmingly.

She gave him a serious look. “In this town, nobody stops working.”

“Really," he took a sip of his drink that had just appeared in front of him, “even in bed?”

“I wouldn’t know about that…Mr. Sutter.”

Oooh, “Mr. Sutter is it now? Sorry…but you see I’m not of this town. I don’t live here and I don’t work here and I haven’t been here long enough to adapt to the climate.”

“But you grew up here, didn’t you?”

“No, I spent five years of my youth here. I’m from London. My mother and I came over when I was seventeen, I entered college here, we went back when I was twenty two. You haven’t done your background work,” he teased.

She smiled and picked up her drink. “Touché. You’re right. I didn’t know I was taking you to dinner until 4:00 this afternoon. My father would have met you tonight but he came down with a mysterious headache. I should have known by your accent that you didn’t grow up in New York. Your parents divorced, am I right?”

“Right on that one. They’d lived apart for eight years. He only came once or twice a month and then got some idea of longing for his family and we came over. It lasted five years. I can honestly say I really never knew him and obviously he didn’t know me or he would never have added that codicil to his will. I wouldn’t be here now but for that.”

“I’m glad to have met you. Shall we drink to our absent fathers then?”

He met her eyes. “I’ll drink to that.”  He sipped his drink. “So tell me, Jo, what do you do when you aren’t standing in for your father?”

“I work with my father…”

“No, no…when you aren’t working.”

“Oh, I have a house out on Long Island and I spend my weekends there. I do a little gardening, listen to music, read. When I’m in the city…well, there is the theater and concerts, movies.”

“You have loads of friends…a special one, perhaps?”

“I have friends…what about you? I understand you have a business in London. What do you do when you aren’t businessing?”

“Depends on where I am. Like you, I take advantage of the city when I’m there and I have a house, well, it’s my mother’s, in York. I’ve been seen in the south of France, and other  places.”

He was a very handsome man in a rugged sort of way and she loved his voice, his accent, his eyes…but that wasn’t why she was here. She straightened up in her seat, picked up the menu and made a selection.

It was raining when they emerged from the restaurant. Mark’s car drove up to the canopy. “Can I give you a lift?” he asked her.

“I can get a cab.” She pulled her coat around her shoulders.

He opened the door to his car. “Get in. Least I can do since you bought my dinner.”

Jo slid into the seat and he came in beside her. “Do you really want to go home?” he asked lighting a cigarette.

“Are you going to smoke that in here?”

“Yeah, I am. Does it bother you that much?”

“I’m not used to it. Most people are a little more considerate.”

“I’m not most people.” He rolled the window down a little. “You didn’t answer me.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know…you tell me.” He waited, seeing her indecision, and told the driver to take him home.

“I hope you don’t think…”

“I don’t think anything.” He turned and looked at her. She was awfully close and his eyes went to her lips again.

“I’m not that kind of person…I don’t....” She looked away from him.

“I’m not asking you for anything. You can get out with me or he can take you wherever you want to go. I don’t know what kind of person you are…but I’d like to find out.”

The car pulled up in front of his building. He turned to her, a question in his eyes and then took her face in his hand and kissed her. “Thanks for dinner, Jo.” He got out and closed the door.

Jo watched him walk into the building. He never looked back…if he had…

“Where to, Miss?” the driver asked.

She absently gave him an address, still tasting Mark on her lips.

Part 3

Mark was still in pajama pants and an old tee shirt when Lilly arrived at his suite the next morning.

“Good morning, Mark. Hmm, Freeman hasn’t dressed you yet?”

“Guess not,” he kissed her cheek. “I’m still in breakfast mode…what’s up?” Mark moved back to the table and sat down to finish his breakfast.

“I’ve interrupted you. I can come back later.”

“Pull up a chair. Have a cup of coffee.”

“Well, I…”

“It’s a little awkward, isn’t it? Before yesterday the last time I saw you was when you were telling me we shouldn’t see each other again. Let’s don’t pretend we don’t know each other, Lillipop.”

“That was a long time ago.” Lilly poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down. “Actually I’ve come to offer my resignation.”

“I won’t accept it. I’m already lost. What do you think I’d be without you to help me through this?” Mark placed his knife and fork on the plate and pushed it away, picking up his coffee cup. “Or maybe I should accept it, yours and everybody else’s and close the doors and go home.”

“You can’t do that. There are stockholders. How did it go with Bob Creighton last night?”

“He didn’t show…sent his daughter, Jo.”

“Ah, that’s interesting…I wonder….”

“Smart move on his part. How could I resist?” he smiled and sipped his coffee.

Lilly smiled back. “I see…speaking of stockholders, they are requesting a meeting.”

“Is it your job to set it up?”

“Yes, I can do that. Do you think you’re ready?”

“No…I need a crash course in Sutter Vision. You were a good teacher at one time.” He met her eyes and leaned on the table. “Think you can handle it?”

“I’m not sure I’m the one…”

“Ten years you worked for him. If you don’t know…who does?”

Lilly set her cup down on the table and looked away from him.

“Did you love him?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“Did you?”

There were tears in her eyes when she looked back at him. “Yes.”

“Sorry,” he leaned back in his chair, “that must have been hard for you. It wasn’t returned, was it?”

“Not the way I would have wanted. It was a shock when he passed. Freeman blamed himself for not seeing the signs and getting him to a heart specialist. I should have noticed.”

“A man has a heart attack and dies. You can’t always predict something like that. I don’t see that anyone is at fault.”

“You’re very cold where he’s concerned, aren’t you?”

“Cold? I hadn’t talked to him in years, hadn’t seen him in six years or so…I never knew him…his choice.”

“You could have made an effort. He loved you.”

“Hah, since when? I don’t think he ever loved anybody but himself.”

“He loved you and your mother…and Rachel.”

“Rachel? I never heard of her.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. She was at the memorial service. I should go and get the day started. Any idea when you’ll be in the  office?”

“Who is Rachel?”

“Her name is Rachel Pederson, Mrs. Rachel Pederson. Her husband is an invalid…institutionalized.” Lilly stood up and took her cup to the sink to rinse it out. “Did you want to meet her?”

“Yeah…sure. Are there any more I should know about?”

“I’m not sure you need to know about this one but, no, there aren’t any more. What time will you be down?”

“Um…an hour or so.” Mark got up and went to the elevator door with her, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him.

“I don’t mean to be rough on you, Lillipop. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not offended in the least.” She looked up, meeting his gaze.

His fingers under her chin, he kissed her softly. She rested her head on his chest for a moment then turned and punched the open door button on the elevator.

Mark was aware heads were turning, hands stopped above their keyboards, phones half way to an ear as he walked through to his father’s office. He spoke to no one until he reached Lilly Francis’s office.

“I feel like I’ve run a gauntlet,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“Everyone is curious about you.”

Mark paused in front of the door to his father’s office.

“It’s your office now. Have you never been in there?”

“You know I haven’t.” He opened the door. The light spilling in from the glass wall caused him to blink as he walked over, looking for a drapery pull.

“There’s a shade layer.” Lilly moved to the wall, pushed a button and a sheer drapery cut the glare as it closed. “The office has been cleaned but his personal effects are still in the drawers. No one has touched anything.”

Mark moved to the desk, running his fingers along the top as he walked around to the chair and sat down. “Nice touch…did you do this?” He indicated a framed picture of himself on the desk.

“I framed it for him but it was his desire to have it there.”

Mark looked at the picture for a moment, taken during his college years when he played soccer. He laid it face down. “You took that picture. Nice of you to give it to him, probably the only one he had of me.”

“You were a beautiful young man, Mark.”

Mark glanced up at her and opened the center drawer. Everything was neatly arranged, pens, paperclips, receipts. He picked them up, scanned through them and tossed them on the desk top. Note pads, an unsigned birthday card for his son.

“You know,” he said, tossing it on the desktop, “I can’t picture my father going into a shop and picking out a birthday card for me…you did that, didn’t you, every year. Probably reminded him to sign it so you could mail it for him.”

He tossed a few other things on the desk, keys to something, passport, a money clip.

“Why do you hate him so, Mark?”

“Absence of love. I don’t hate him, not any more, not for years anyway. It was a waste of time. I hated him when he took you away from me.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Yes, it was. You like to coat everything about him with gauze so you don’t see him clearly. You were shagging him one day and me the next. I couldn’t take that. I couldn’t believe he’d do something like that. It was an eye opener for me.”

“Are you the one that told your mother?”

“No, what do you think I am, a sadist? It was one of her so-called luncheon friends.” He slammed the center drawer closed. “I loved you.”

“You were too young to know what love was. He needed me for something missing in his life, someone to tell him how wonderful he was, what a good man he was, someone to make him whole.”

Mark flashed her a look. “He had my mother and he treated her like a stranger.  He wouldn’t even allow her to sleep in the same bed with him.”

“They were strangers. Think about it, Mark…how many years did they actually live together when you were growing up? Maybe it was your mother that didn’t want him in her bed.”

“Leave my mother out of this,” he said evenly.

“You were right…you didn’t know him at all. Did you ever want to?”

“No…not since he left us in England and came over here and started up this bloody company. He was always going to send for us, buy a house…years went by, Lilly, and then one day he had the house and we were moving . I’d been accepted at Cambridge but, no, I had to come here and start all over, left everything I’d ever known to come and live with him. He insisted…and he was the one with the money.”

“He regretted those years. He told me that on more than one occasion. He’d come here to make his fortune before bringing you and your mother over. He wanted everything to be perfect. He had a dream, Mark.”

“He left it too late. It was a nightmare by the time we got here.” He roughly opened a side drawer and pulled out a few files.

“I’m going to leave you alone. Maybe you need to do this by yourself.” Lilly headed for the door.

“Wait…” He was looking through a file, “why is he paying for James Pederson’s school?”

Lilly turned, “He’s your half brother.”

Part 3

Lilly had set up the meeting in Central Park. Mark had a description of Rachel Pederson and she had one of him.  He wandered along the pathways with vague memories of being here before with his mother before they left for England. She’d told him about the divorce that was already in the works and left it up to him whether he wanted to finish his schooling in America or go back with her. For him it was a no-brainer. He’d gone back to Yale, picked up his belongings and quit school.

Rachel stood just under the bridge watching him walk toward her. He hadn’t seen her yet so she had a moment. His longish hair whipped about in the breeze. Bearded, he had the look of his father about him, the way he walked and held himself. He was two years younger than she was. He stopped. He’d seen her so she stepped out of the shadows.

Mark hadn’t been told her age but he was surprised that she was probably around his age, long blond hair falling over her shoulders, jeans and a sweater with a long knitted scarf around her neck, boots, hands in her pockets. She smiled shyly.

“You have to be Mark Sutter.”

“Do I have to be?” he smiled. “Rachel.”

She walked closer to him, caught his eyes. “You have to be. You look like him.”

“Can’t help that.” He tilted his head. She was a striking woman with a direct blue gaze that caught somewhere in his chest.

“Shall we walk? I knew we would eventually meet, that you would find out about James.”

“There was no mention of him in the will.”

“No, your father settled an amount of money on him some time ago. He has a trust fund that he will come into when he’s twenty-one.”

“Does he know, James I mean, does he know who his father is?”

“Yes, he does.”

“Your husband is in an institution?”

“Yes, he’s twenty five years older than me and he began losing his memory about eight years ago. He has dementia. He doesn’t recognize me anymore and I’ve stopped visiting on a weekly basis. I only go about once a month now. James has never seen him.”

“How did you meet my father?”

“My husband was a friend of his. Yhey played golf together. When he became ill William was there for me, helped me with him until I couldn’t care for him any longer. We became lovers and…James. Does this shock you?”

“No, nothing shocks me about my father.”

She glanced up at him and continued, “William provided me with a house and we lived as man and wife although we could never be married. He would have; I’m sure of that.”

“Why didn’t he give him his name?”

“Because I’m married.”

“That must have been confusing for James.”

“No, James is only six. He’s too young to understand about that. I’ll tell him someday when he’s older. He was very upset when William died. He tells his friends his father is in heaven with the angels.”

“That’s debatable. I’d like to meet him, my half brother.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mark. I’m not sure how I would explain you.”

“Why do you have to explain me? Just an introduction…maybe someday when he’s older you could.”

“The resemblance is too much even though you have a beard and dark hair; you have his eyes.”

“The kid is only six. I think I have a right to meet him.”

“You have no rights where my son is concerned. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound…”

“No bother. You’re probably right I have no rights, just a desire to meet my brother, especially since I’ve met his mother.”

She stopped and turned to him. “Come for dinner tomorrow night. Lilly has the address. You could perhaps be his uncle?”

“I’m not his uncle.”

“No, of course not. I just thought it might be easier to explain.”

“Six years…why did he never tell me I had a brother?”

“I can’t answer that. He never talked much about you, oh, some stories about you when you were around James’s age.”

“That’s all he’d have known. He left us when I was eight.”

“It must have been hard for you without a father around.”

“Yeah…it was.” They resumed walking.

“You must have some memories of him, too.”

“None that I’d share. I’m afraid they’re not good ones, Rachel.”

“I’m sorry you missed out on your childhood with him. He wore that too, you know. I think he felt he had a second chance with James, a chance to do it right this time. He was good with him, read him to sleep every night.”

“Ha, probably the same old boring stories….” He been about to say that he’d heard when he was a boy.

“James has a book that he gave him and they would read together.”

“Grimm’s Fairy Tales?”

“Yes,” she smiled, “how did you know?”

They’d come to a crossroads and Mark stopped and looked up at the sky, gray…chance of rain. “I don’t suppose he ever said anything about leaving his company to me?” He looked back at her. “Why did he do it?”

“I really don’t know but he said not so long ago that he’d never given you anything that meant anything to him. He hadn’t bought you a present since you were a small boy. It was soon after that he went to see his lawyer."

“So he thought this would make up for it…giving me the one thing I wouldn’t ever want, the thing that took him away from us, that killed us all. Hah, yeah…he put some thought into it for sure…probably laughing up his arse on the other side.”

“Oh, I don’t think he…”

“He knew what he was doing.” Mark kicked at a clump of grass.

“I’m sure he meant well. He didn’t do it to hurt you, Mark. Maybe he thought you’d want the company he’d built up from nothing, something he’d put his life into…that maybe you would understand him a little better.”

“The more I find out, the less I understand him at all.”

Rachel looked at her watch. “I have to go pick James up from school. Tomorrow night around 6:30?”

“I’ll be there.” Mark met her eyes, his hands in his pockets. He watched her walk down the path and found a bench to sit on and slumped down his face lost in the collar of his coat.

Mark returned to his office and tossed his coat on a chair. Lilly would be in shortly to start filling in the blanks for him. There were too many blanks. He sat down at the desk, running his hand through his hair. Freeman knocked quietly and brought in a tray of coffee and sandwiches.

“It may be awhile before you’re able to have a decent meal. I thought sandwiches?”

“Ta, Freeman.”

“Will you be going out tonight?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Perhaps you will have someone in?”

Mark thought about Jo. “Maybe.”

“Is there something I should do, restock the bar?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Freeman whirled around and left. Mark wondered if his feet hovered above the floor. He ate a couple of the sandwiches and was on a second cup of coffee when Lilly came in.

“Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“You met with Rachel?”

“Yes, she seems like a nice person.”

“Your father loved her.”

“In spite of that,” he cocked a brow, “she’s invited me to dinner tomorrow night to meet James.”

“I’ve never seen him. Your father kept that part of his life private.”

Mark sighed, “What have you got for me there?”

Part 4

Mark stood outside Rachel’s brownstone, looking up at the façade. This is where his father had lived. He walked up the steps and rang the bell.

“You’re right on time,” Rachel smiled, stepping back for him to enter.

“I have help.” He looked around the entry and was led into the living room, lined with bookshelves, odd-looking colored glass orbs. Rachel took his coat and hung it on the coat rack.

“James is in his bath. He will be down in a minute or I will have to go and get him out of it before he prunes up. Would you like something to drink?” He filled the room as his father had, but more so.

“Um, no thanks.” He’d moved over to a row of photographs and picked one up of his father and a little boy. “When was this taken?”

“Two months ago. It’s the last one I have of him.”

“He looks well enough.” Mark placed it back on the shelf.

“He seemed that way. He took care of himself.”

“He was fifty-six years old, mind and body.”

“A young fifty-six,” she added quietly.

Mark glanced at her, held her eyes for a moment, then moved on to the next shelf, scanning the book titles.

Now that he was here she felt a little nervous around him. Why had she asked him to dinner?
“I‘d better go check on James. Please make yourself comfortable,” she smiled and escaped to the stairs.

Mark found a chair and sat down, taking the room in, the comfortable furniture. He never knew the man that lived  here. The man smiling from the photograph with the little boy on his shoulders was a complete stranger. Why had he come? What had he hoped for? He felt like he’d wandered into someone’s private bedroom. He wanted to leave and looked at his jacket hanging on the coat rack. He’d about made up his mind to quietly slip out the door when the little boy came bounding down the stairs dressed in his dinosaur pajamas.

“Hullo.” He stopped at the bottom of the steps, his mother coming down behind him.

“Hi, James.”

“How do you know my name? I don’t know yours.”

“My name’s Mark and you mother told me your name.” Mark looked at the short boy with his damp hair sticking out at odd angles, dark blond and his father’s eyes.

He turned to his mom. “Do we know him?”

“We do now. Come on into the living room.” She took his hand.

He looked up at his mom again. “He’s not…Dad?” he whispered loudly.

“No, no, your Dad’s with the angels, this is, um…”

“I’m your brother,” Mark said simply and sat back down in his chair.

Rachel looked at him. “He lives in England,” she said to James.

“That’s where Dad was from. Why did he leave you there?”

“Because I was old enough to be left." Mark moved over a little as James crawled up in the big chair beside him.

“James, don’t crowd him. Sit over here…”

“He’s okay…so you’re six years old and go to school. What else do I need to know about you?”

“Um,” he looked down at his pajamas, “I like dinos. I got a lot of them in my room. You wanna see?”

“After dinner if he wants to, James,” Rachel said and smiled at Mark.

“Do we have chicken nuggets?” James asked.

“No we have…getti.”

James smiled, one of his favorites.

Rachel left to get dinner on the table. She felt comfortable enough to leave James with Mark.

“My Dad’s gone away to live with angels. I wish he didn’t go…maybe he didn’t like us anymore.” James played with a pinky ring Mark wore on his right hand.

“Oh, I’m sure he liked you enough, James. I guess the angels needed him for something.”

“Was he your dad if you’re my brother?”

“Yeah…he was.”

“Are you gonna be my Dad now?”

“I can’t be your Dad. I’m your brother.”

“Yeah, but…I think I need a Dad, too. I pick you,” he grinned and poked Mark in the chest.

“I think your Mom is the one who does the picking.”

“I’ll tell her I already picked so she don’t have to.”

Picked what?” Rachel came back in the room.

Mark looked up at her and let James answer.

“I picked a dad cause I need one. I picked Mark.” He poked him in the chest again and grinned.

Rachel’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Mark…he…”

“No problem.”

“Dinner is on the table.”  She grabbed James by the arm and led him into the kitchen. “You don’t go around asking for dads, okay?”

After dinner Mark went upstairs to James’s room to see his dinosaurs and Rachel came with them and told him it was time for him to go to bed.

“I’ll just be a minute to get him settled if you want to go downstairs.”

“No, I want Mark to read to me.” He pulled out his book and gave it to Mark.

Mark looked through the book. It was a new version but the same stories. “I don’t mind.” He looked at Rachel.

Rachel moved to the door and stood there a minute while Mark found a story and began to read with the same inflections in his voice that William had. She felt a catch in the back of her throat and turned away, going downstairs. He was so like him and yet he wasn’t him. He was like a younger version…no, she couldn’t think that way. He wasn’t him at all.

She had the kitchen cleaned by the time Mark came back down and was folded up on the sofa.

“How many did you have to read?”

“Three, only three.” He ran his hand through his hair and sat back in the chair he’d occupied earlier.

“I’m sorry. He’s missing his father. I shouldn’t have let him impose on you.”

“I know what it’s like to miss your father. After a while you think he’s not coming back…ever and then he shows up one day, sticks around for a few days and then he’s gone again, weeks…months. You forget him again and then he shows up and it all begins again, a torture. It’s better for him this way. Maybe not for you.”

“Not for me…it was horrible for you, wasn’t it?”

“I have to deal with the final kicker and then it’s over for me. Are you going to be okay? Did he provide anything for you?”

“He had an account set up for me with regular deposits. There haven’t been any since…”

“Does Lilly have the account?”

“No, he took care of it.”

“I’ll make sure you and James are well provided for. How about this house?”

“It’s paid for. You don’t have to, Mark. I already talked to the firm where I once worked, I can get my job back.”

“I want to, Rachel. That little guy up there…is part of me thanks to his father, not mine, but his…I’m not sure they’re one in the same. I honestly…don’t know the man who lived here. I should be going.”

“No…I mean unless you have somewhere to go…stay.”

“It’s not a good idea. Thanks for dinner and for allowing me to spend some time with James.” He stood up and so did she.

“Will you come back? Will I see you again?”

“I don’t think so. James wants me to be his father. I won’t do that to him and I’m not William.”

“No…you aren’t.” Their eyes locked for a moment.

“I won’t live in his shadow. I’m sorry.”

“You cast one of your own.”

“Not here, not in this place I don’t.” He reached for his jacket and slipped it on.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to see him again but he was right, of course. It wouldn’t work.

“I’ll be in touch.” He moved toward the door and she caught his arm.

“I’m sorry,” she held her hand up. “I…yes…thank you.”

“You aren’t going to cry?”

“No…”

“Rachel,” he put his arms around her and held her to him, “I can’t do this, Rachel, not that I don’t want to.” He lifted her chin and looked into her wet eyes. “I don’t want to take his place, don’t want to be him.” Oh, bloody hell! He kissed her and her arms went around his neck. She felt good against him…it would never work for either of them…he broke away.

Out on the sidewalk he walked a few blocks until he found a taxi to take him back to the building.

Part 5

He was finishing up his breakfast and Freeman was fussing with his clothes in the bedroom. “Freeman!” he called out.

“Yes, Sir?” He was out of the room with his hands behind his back.

“I want to set up an account for Rachel Pederson. You know who she is?”

“Yes, Sir, I do.”

This is between me and you, understand? Whatever my income from this company is and I have no idea what it is, is it…substantial?’

“Yes, Sir, five figures a month.”

“Direct that to the account on a monthly basis.”

“But…Sir?”

“I don’t need it, Freeman. She has a boy to support. Make it happen.”

“Yes, Sir, right away. Would you want your calls now or later?”

“What calls?”

“You have had three calls this morning, Sir.”

“Now.”

He returned a call to Carol.

“Mark, I forget the time difference…how are you?”

“At last, someone sane to talk to. I want to come home.”

“Are you sure? I was beginning to worry that…you’d be caught up there and…”

“No, I’m not going to be caught up here. Where are you?”

“I’m in your flat. I’ve been staying here. Mark, I think when you get back we need to talk.”

“About what?”

“Long term.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“Yes, I’m ready. I’ve had some time to think with you not here…I don’t like you not being here.”

“No more Arthur?”

“No…he was never…you know that, just a friend. I may have found a house if you’re interested.”

“I’m interested. If you like it go ahead and put a deposit down.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Sunday…I miss you, Carol.”

“Me, too. I think I love you.”

“Hold onto that thought. I’ll see you Sunday night.”

Mark lay back on his bed, still holding the phone. He wanted to go home now. The next three days meant nothing to him. He had a life waiting on him. He wanted to be there.

He didn’t bother returning Jo’s call and the other name he didn’t recognize and ignored it.

“What do you mean they can’t get here until Monday? Well, fuck ‘em! I won’t be here.”

“Mark, they are the stockholders, major ones. You can’t ignore them. They don’t all live here in New York,” Lilly tried to explain.

“Look, I’m not putting my life on hold because a few arses can’t be bothered to fly out here for a meeting on my time. It’s either tomorrow or not at all. I intend to appoint a new CEO. If they’re interested they’ll show up.”

Lilly was astounded. “Mark…you’re not…not giving this up…you can’t do this…your father…”

“Yeah, my father. This is me we’re talking about, not him or what he wanted. I’ve finally laid him to rest, Lilly. Don’t start dredging him up again.”

“You’re not thinking straight. You’ve been handed something people would die for…”

“One did and that’s enough. I don’t want it. I never did…it means nothing to me. I don’t want it in my life.”

Lilly sat down in the chair across from him. “He built this company up for you to take over someday.”

“Bullshit! He did it for himself. I was an afterthought. Take off the rose-colored glasses, Lillipop. He was a selfish, self-centered man who tried to redeem himself the last six years of his life.  And you devoted ten years of your life to him. What did you get out of it? Huh, a nice pension? How long have you carried on this one-sided love affair with him? Get over it…he’s dead.”

“You…you can be so cruel! How dare you talk to me like this?”

“I had a good teacher, long distance, mind you.” Mark stopped pacing and went over and put his hands on Lilly’s shoulders. “You’ve got to face reality, Lillipop,” he said softly.

“Stop calling me that.” She wiped her eyes.

Mark went down on his knees by her. “Do you remember how you got that name? Do you? I started about here,” he touched her ear and then her ankle.” I stopped here.”

“You said I was your lolly.” She bit her lip and looked at him.

“Yeah and you were for awhile. I might have been young but I thought I was in love with you. Think what a stab wound I had when I found out.”

“I thought things would turn out differently.”

“You thought he’d marry you after the divorce. I’m sorry he didn’t, sorry you’ve wasted all these years waiting for him. Lillipop…you’re free now. I’m free of him and I’ve got a woman waiting for me to come home in London.”

“Have you? I’m so glad for you, Mark.”

“Do you understand now why it’s important to me to get this thing settled and go home? I was never going to stay here and take over this company.”

She put her arms around him. “I’ll put out the call again and if they stockholders can’t all be here we can give them a short list to choose a new CEO from. They will eventually meet…all of them together and get the job done.” She kissed his cheek.

“Thank you.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“I’m still sorry you aren’t going to stay. I think I would have liked working for you.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” He got to his feet. “I do things differently at my company. We have a monocracy already in place. I didn’t start another one.”

“You’re leaving Sunday?”

“Yes, Freeman’s already made the flight arrangements.”

“Will you come back?”

“There’s no reason for me to come back. If  I need to sign something for the stockholders, FEDEX it to me.”

“I hate thought of not seeing you again.”

“You didn’t see me for ten years.”

“I know but I’ve got reacquainted with you, the man you turned out to be. I like him. He’s strong and he stands for something.”

“Have I ever taken you to lunch? I’ll stand for lunch,” he smiled.

“You were supposed to take Jo to lunch today. She called and cancelled.”

“Hmm, I had a call from her this morning and didn’t return it. Think she’s mad at me?”

“I think she’s got a headache.” Lilly took his arm as they left the office.

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