"We Few.. We Happy Few.. We Band Of Brothers"

Jamie Sutherlin removed his hat and wiped his brow, smiling, watching his seven year old son Madison move the line marking the furrow to be plowed. At twenty-six he still couldn't plow in a straight line. Now his daddy could sight it, plow right to the end, and look back at a neat straight line never needing a stake.  He picked up the reins, clicked his tongue and Old Bess Mule moved the plow forward. Half way down the row he stopped and turned, hearing hoof beats coming from up toward his daddy's place.  His two youngest brothers were riding fast, yipping and hollering.

"Yee haw! Yee haw!" shouted Lee, the seventeen year old, beating his horse with his hat.

"Hey, Jamie, we're goin' to fight the Yankees!"  yelled Carter, who had just turned nineteen.

"I'd say you boys been in the jug this mornin', " Jamie observed.

They both laughed. "Still been in, it's more likely. We commenced last night. Figured it'd be a while 'fore we got another chance," laughed Carter.

"Nah, John's gonna bring 'em back directly. See ya, Jamie; bye, Madison," Lee called out.

"All right, you boys be careful and write, ya hear?" He stood leaning against the split rail fence watching them ride down the road until the dust settled behind them.

"Daddy, they gonna fight, ain't they?" asked Madison.

"Yeah, I guess they will, Madison, sooner or later."

Madison looked up at his daddy. "When you gonna go fight, Daddy?"

Jamie looked down at his son and tousled his chestnut hair so like his own. "The day is comin'. It's comin. Just tryin' to get the plantin' done. Come on, let's get back to work." Jamie set his hat down on his forehead and went back to his plow, knowing the day was coming sooner than he wished. Like it or not he would have no choice.

Jamie was sitting on the front porch of his log cabin watching three of his children play in the yard, throwing rocks in a bucket. "Look out for Milly!" he called out when the rocks came too close to his four year old daughter. His two boys, Madison and Jimmy, were only a year apart, but Madison was much larger than Jimmy, who took after his mother.

Patsy came out the door with the baby on her hip. Anderson was only fifteen months old and still clinging to his mama. "Here, let me have him. Give yourself a rest, Patsy," Jamie said as he reached for the baby.

Patsy handed him over and plopped down in the rocking chair.   "Any word from Min?"

"No, the boys were too het up to go to war for me to ask them anything. John's supposed to bring Daddy's horses back. Maybe he'll have some news."

"Wagon's coming, Jamie. That'll be John, I reckon." She shaded her eyes and stood on the edge of the porch.

John braked the wagon on the road and jumped down. "Evening," he greeted and took off his hat.

"Doin' fine, John. Any word from Min?"

"Jenny got a letter yesterday. It ain't good, Jamie. You know we heard his legs was bad. Well, he can't move 'em. Paralyzed he is from the waist down."

"Oh, God!" Jamie sighed. "I think I'd just rather be dead and done as to be like that at twenty-four."

"Min had a time getting' up there. Ended up ridin' in a supply wagon and then had to find him in the hospital tent. Said she like to have passed out seein' all them boys tore up like that."

"When is she gonna bring him home, John? Did she say?" asked Patsy.

"They ain't released him. Can you git that? Poor man ain't never gonna stand again. The army ain't got no use for him now. She's gonna stay till they do."

"Patsy, go git them young'uns out of the wagon before they take off down the road," Jamie nodded.

Jamie met John's eyes. "I'd like to get the crop in first if I can."

"Yeah, me, too. We'll give it a month, I reckon. Jenny ought to deliver before May. Sure hate to leave her with a new baby."

"I hate to go at all. It's gonna put a burden on Mama and Daddy lookin' after them all."

"Yeah, well, I better get these horses back up to the house." He got up to leave. "Patsy you take care now,"

"Wait up, John. I'll ride with you," Jamie spoke up.

"Daddy, can I come, too?" asked Madison, running for the wagon.

They rode two miles, curving up on the mountain until they come to James Sutherlin's place. Jamie jumped down and lifted Madison to the ground then John took the horses back to the barn.

"Hey, there, boy!" called James as Madison ran to his arms. "Your grandma's got some doughnuts made." Madison skipped through the door to the kitchen.

"Good, Daddy. Everybody's fine…and you?"

"Won't complain. Lost two more today, you know."

"Yeah, I saw 'em come by. I guess it's me and John next. We figured we'd get the crop in first. Ain't no sense in rushin' it."

"I know. Don't tell your Mama. She's all tore up over Carter and Lee. Been cryin' all day. If it weren't for this bum leg I'd be on my way, you know."

"If they ever come for you, Daddy, be really sick or somethin'."

"I ain't no fool, Jamie, and I'd go but I can't march. Any word on Blue?"

"Yeah, here, let John tell it. Jenny got a letter from Min. I'm gonna go see Mama."

Jamie found his mama in the kitchen frying doughnuts. "Hey, Mama," he hugged her as she wiped her eyes, "got some of them doughnuts for me?"

"Oh lordy, Jamie, you and John is all I got left."

"Now, Mama, Daddy might take offense to that. No need cryin'." Jamie picked up a couple of doughnuts from the plate. "Where's Madison?"

"Aw, he come in here grabbed him some doughnuts and took off for the hen house looking for that rooster. I told him that rooster lives in the tree yonder but he's got to see for hisself. Young'un is growin' like a weed, Jamie."

"He is, Mama. He's learnin' his letters now."

"I'm glad you're teachin him, Jamie. Ain't nothing worse than not bein' able to read. James got a letter from Pearce and had to wait till John come by to read it to him."

"Pearce says she's doin' well. They got two babies now. He's somewhere in Tennessee, I believe."

"Now don't you start! zzzhe's good to Sarah. Got her a house and all."

"Don't make him a good man, though, does it? I guess I'd better find Madison and start back. Be getting' dark soon. Bye, Mama." He hugged his Mama and gave her a kiss on the forehead, leaned out the back door and hollered for Madison.

"You want to wait a bit, I'll give you a ride, Jamie," John called from the porch.

"Nah, we'll stretch our legs up the road. See ya."

Jamie set his hat and pocketed his hands, watching the road in front of him as he set out for home. Madison walked beside him with his hands in his pockets.

"I didn't find that rooster, Daddy."

"Your grandma said he lived in the trees, Madison. Why'd you look in the hen house anyway?"

"Cause he goes in there, Daddy. He goes to see his lady chickens."

"What do you know about lady chickens and roosters, Madison?" Jamie grinned.

"Just what Uncle Carter said. He goes in there and picks him out one and gives her a peck and next thing you know there's a egg."

Jamie laughed, "Well, he probably sneaks in there when nobody's lookin'. He ain't gonna be peckin' when you're watchin' him go about it."

"Next time I'll sneak up real quiet like." Soon the rooster was forgotten as he ran ahead, picking up rocks and throwing them at trees as they passed.

Jamie watched him with sadness in his heart. He loved the boy and would miss him when he left. Nothing had been said to Patsy about his leaving and he wasn't going to until he was ready to leave. No sense in listening to it for another month, he figured. He thought if he could get his tobacco planted she'd have a cash crop to see her through for a while. It was going to be hard on all of them but it couldn't be helped. He was going to volunteer with the state militia.

Jamie left the post office with the official notification of his brother Blue's discharge. Blue had been home for three weeks. He stuck the envelope in his pocket and mounted his daddy's horse to ride out to Blue's house. He had been shocked when he'd first seen his brother reduced to near skin and bones. He had only been in the army since September the year before. Always tall and slim he was now a shadow of himself.

Min came out to the porch when he dismounted. "Well, hey, Jamie. Blue's been askin' about you today."

"Hey, Min. Been to the post office and picked up your mail, too. Looks like Blue's been discharged at last."

He walked in the house finding Blue sitting up in a bed they had moved to the front room. "Blue, how're you doin' today? Got some mail for ya."

"Damn discharge papers. Maybe I can get some kind of pension, you reckon?"

"I don't know if they're doin' pensions, Blue."

"Yeah, they take but they don't give you nothin' fer your trouble. Sit a spell."

"You want some coffee, Jamie? I got some real coffee made,"  Min asked.

"Thanks, Min. I'll take a cup."

"Folks been real nice since we got back, bringin' food over and everythin', real nice."

"You look like you could use some food, Blue. Lost all the meat you ever had."

"We was fed good, Jamie. I just got some kinda flux, you know. Everythin' went straight through me like a dose of salts. John was by here earlier. Says ya'll gonna join up soon."

"We're workin' towards it. Just tryin' my best to get everything done I can at home, for Patsy, you know."

"She upset about it?"

"Yeah, I told her a couple of days ago. Right now she ain't talkin' to me. Thanks, Min, for the coffee. You need anything done while I'm here?"

"No, can't think of anything. John brought me some wood up. No, we're doin' all right, Jamie."

"I'll be around for a couple of weeks yet so if you need anything at all send a runner to the house. I best be getting' home. See ya, Blue…Min."

Jamie mounted the horse and rode back up the mountain. He had to talk to Patsy. No sense in wasting what time they had like this. He understood how she felt, but he had no choice but to volunteer. What did she want, the Home Guard to come drag him out?

Patsy was squeezing out biscuits in her hands when he came in. Milly had the scraps, making her own, rolling them out into snakes.

"Mama, Daddy's home," she announced in case her Mama hadn't noticed.

"I see he is, Milly. Mind you don't get that all over the floor, you hear?"

Jamie came in the kitchen and gave Milly a kiss and a tickle. "How's my girl, huh?" He raised an eyebrow at Patsy. "You make the best biscuits, Patsy. Gonna make me up some to take with me? Well, maybe I'll get Milly to make 'em up. I like mine a little fatter like your mama makes." He sat down at the table with Milly and started rolling up her scraps.

"Jamie, just quit. You're worse than Milly."

"Where's the rest of the young'uns?"

"Anderson's asleep and the boys are outside somewhere." She mashed her biscuits down with the palm of her hand and stuck them in the oven of the wood stove.  "You didn't get no letters today?"

"No, picked up Blue's discharge papers and rode out to see him for a bit."

"I can't look at him, Jamie, without seeing you come home all busted up. I can't stand it, I tell ya."

"Hey, I ain't comin' home like Blue so get that out of your head and I ain't hanging around here and get shot for not goin'." He set Milly down on the chair and walked out the back door.

"Who's gonna shoot Daddy, Mama? asked Milly.

"Nobody I hope, honey. You clean up that mess, now. I'm gonna talk to your Daddy."

She found Jamie out by the well. "I'm sorry, honey. I just don't want you to go."

Jamie set the bucket down and turned, putting his arms around her. "It's war, baby. It ain't like I got a choice in the matter. Hey, I need you around me all soft and sweet right now, not prickly like a briar bush." He bent and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Yeah, give her a kiss, Daddy, all sloppy and wet like a hound dog." Laughter and giggling followed.

Jamie looked up, following the sound, to find his two boys up a tree on the other side of the well. "All right, I will." He kissed her again, making moaning and smacking sounds.

"Ugh, that's sick!" said Jimmy, giggling

"Ya'll come on down out of that tree before you fall out and break somethin'. Come on down…now, Madison!" Patsy ordered.

Jamie held her backed up to him with his arms around her waist while the boys climbed down out of the tree. "Ya'll go clean yourselves up for dinner and use some soap," he admonished. "Let's get these young'uns to bed early tonight," he added, looking into her hazel eyes.

May 10, 1862 Carroll County, VA CSA

"What is it I need to put in here again?" Patsy asked, holding his canvas bag in her hand.

"A change of clothes, a wash rag, a piece of soap, and any old pans you don't need. I'm gonna leave my rifle here for you but I'll take my pistol and the bullets. Blankets, I'll need some blankets."

Patsy packed up his bag and took the razor and her scissors out on the porch.  She shaved his beard and cut his hair. "I'll put these in your bag now," she said as she turned to go back in.

He caught her hand. "I love you, Patsy, and I'll see you when I can." He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. "You take good care of my boys and Milly."

"I love you too, Jamie, and I'll do the best I can here so don't worry. I'll write you. You'll want to say good bye to the young uns now." She went back in the house with his things to pack.

"Jimmy, you do what your Mama says now and don't worry her. I'll be sending some letters for her to read to you. Madison, you look after things now and don't go wandering off. Ya'll stay close to home and help your Mama." He picked Milly up and gave her a hug and a kiss. Patsy came out with the baby in her arms and his bag. He took the baby and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. "Guess you'll be talking when I get back." He touched Anderson's curls and handed him back to Patsy. John had pulled the wagon up on the road, waiting for him. He jumped up in the wagon and turned to wave.

May 15, 1862 Wytheville, VA CSA

They arrived at Camp Jackson along with other men from Carroll County and Grayson County. Jamie Sutherlin joined the Confederate Army and enlisted for three years. He was assigned as a private to Captain Litrill H. Hamton's company of Virginia Volunteers.  He was in Abington, Washington County, Virginia by May 24, 1862. This company became Company G, 63^rd Regiment Virginia Infantry, also known as McMahon's Regiment.

From May until December 1862 the regiment was involved in operations in Southwest Virginia, West Virginia and Kentucky. During this time Jamie was able to get home for three hours as his regiment moved through, and picked up another blanket and some mittens. He was in uniform now, gray pants with a stripe down the outside leg and a jacket, his gun holstered around his waist and rifle at his shoulder as he marched.  The regiment now formed was assigned to Brigadier General Humphrey Marshall's command. The first combat came with the battle of Princeton, West Virginia.  Jamie had acquitted himself well in battle and prior to transferring to the Tidewater sector of Virginia in December of 1862 had been promoted to Sergeant.  In January Company I (2) had now been formed and Jamie was moved into this regiment under the command of Captain Giles S. Martin. In March 1863 they were again in Southwest Virginia and later Jamie got a couple of days at home.

May, 1863 Carroll County, VA CSA

He came walking up the road as Madison was pulling Jimmy around on a rug in the front yard. Madison dropped the rug and went running to Jamie. "Daddy, you're home!" he shouted, grabbing Jamie around the waist.

"Hey there, Madison. Boy, look how tall you're getting'." He hugged his son as Jimmy came running for his hug. Jamie picked him up, squeezing him to his chest. "Your mama around?"

"Yeah, she's out back washing clothes," Madison replied, having a look at his daddy's weapons.

Patsy was elbow deep in the tub, scrubbing out Jimmy's shirt when she saw Jamie. Wiping her hands on her apron, she ran to him, grabbing him around the neck. "O Lord, I don't believe it! How'd you get here?"

"Hey, baby. I just got today and tomorrow. Have to be back on Wednesday morning." He grabbed her, swinging her around and kissed her soundly. "Boy, you feel good!" he said as he set her down.

"Oh, Jamie, and you're in one piece?" She felt up and down his arms.

"I'm all here," he smiled, looking into her eyes.

"I'm here, too, Daddy," said Milly behind him. He stooped and picked her up.

"I see you are, pretty girl. Give me a kiss right here." He pointed to his cheek.

"Ohh, you're all scratchy!"

"I need a shave, Milly. Hasn't been time for any of that lately."

Patsy looked at her wash tub then back at Jamie. "Come on in the house, honey. There's a rabbit stew on the stove." He followed her in the house and looked around.

"Where's Anderson? Asleep?"

Patsy's eyes filled up. "You didn't get my letter…? Oh, Jamie…he died last month. It was a cough and a fever."

Jamie didn't move but felt around for the chair back and sat down. "No…I didn't get the letter." He blinked back the tears and held out his hands for Patsy, pulling her to him and burying his face in her bust. She held his head against her, running her fingers through his hair.

"You still got us, Daddy," said Jimmy, looking sad-eyed by his Daddy.

Jamie pulled away from Patsy, put his arm around Jimmy and looked at Madison. "Well, I'm a very lucky man to have such fine children. Now where's that rabbit stew? Who shot a rabbit?"

"I did, Daddy, with your rifle," Madison replied, grinning.

"You can't shoot a rifle, Madison!" Jamie exclaimed.

"I can, too! Grandpa showed me how. I can shoot a bottle off a stump, too."

"Well, that's mighty fine shootin' for an eight year old."

Patsy couldn't eat for looking at him, his blue eyes standing out in his tanned face. He was leaner but felt muscular under his coat. He was all right…and he was here. She would have him for two days.

Part 3

Edna St. Vincent Millay

July 3, 1863 Saltville, Virginia CSA

Jamie’s Regiment had been assigned to guard the salt works at Saltville Va.  A muster roll was taken and his name appeared. They had never wanted for food, but the salt was a welcome addition to their diet. Jamie received a letter from Patsy telling him she was pregnant and that filled him with joy. However another bit of news did not. His brother Lee had left his command 1 August in Tennessee and gone home. The army had come for him and they feared the worst. Pearce Randolph was with the party that picked him up, and James had pleaded with him to no avail. Jamie didn’t hold with desertion in time of war but to turn your own wife’s brother in was something he couldn’t stomach.

Toward the end of August the Company I (2) 63^rd Virginia Infantry brigade was transferred along with the 54^th Virginia to the Army of Tennessee under the command of Col. John H. Kelly. He was reunited with his brothers, John and Carter, who were with the 54^th Virginia. John was in good shape but a little trail worn. They sat around a fire one night catching up on lost time and discussing their brother Lee, who Carter said had been shot by a firing squad. Carter had been sick for some time with a cough and fever but kept trudging on. He sat with Jamie’s blanket around his shoulders. The 50^th Virginia was also part of the Army of Tennessee and they were on the lookout for Pearce, who was part of that Regiment.

September, 1863 Chickamauga, GA CSA

The evening came when Jamie was on guard duty next to the ordinance train that would leave in the morning. He saw some men walking up beside the train and asked them to halt. The man with Pearce identified himself and walked on, Pearce stood back, not wanting to confront Jamie.

"That you, Pearce?"

"Yeah, Jamie. Haven’t seen you in awhile," he said as he slowly walked up in the light of the fire.

"I reckon you killed Lee."

"I don’t know if I did or not. I wasn’t the only one with a shot, you know."

Jamie noticed his hand resting on his side arm. "You gonna shoot me, too, ya bastard?"

Pearce moved his hand away as Jamie pointed his gun at him. "I wasn’t planning on it, Jamie." He turned his head to spit tobacco juice on the ground and Jamie hit him up the side of his head with the butt of his rifle, knocking him down. He got a good kick in before he was restrained by two other guards and hauled off, calling over his shoulder that Pearce better hope he didn’t find himself in his sights again or he’d be a dead man.

Jamie was taken before the officer in charge, stripped of his rank back to private and told to save it for the Yankees. He was in a foul mood by the time he got back to his makeshift tent, vowing to kill the son of a bitch.

The next morning the 63^rd was assigned to guard the ordinance train for the battle of Chickamauga and involved with the intense fighting at Snodgrass Hill. One third of the regiment was lost in battle. Jamie survived with little more than scratches and bruises. He was pleased to hear later that Pearce had received a shot shattering his right knee.

After the battle the 63^rd and the 54^th came under the command of B. General Alexander Reynolds.  They were in want of supplies as the trains were used to transport the wounded and wounded prisoners. Jamie had lined his boots with tree bark and moss, the soles being mostly gone. He was able to write a letter to Patsy, telling her of the carnage at Chickamauga and his longing to be home. He told her he was with John and Carter for the time being. He never knew from one day to the next how things would change. However the regiments that made up the Army of Tennessee were now in place. They had been joined by NC, GA and SC. From this time on, the 63^rd would be involved in all the major and minor battles of the Army of Tennessee. It was during one of these near Dalton on May 14, 1864 that Carter was captured by the Yankees and was sent to Ft. Morton, Indiana.

Jamie’s luck ran out two days later. He was shot in the right hand, taking off the tip of his little finger. He dropped his gun and was hit again, sending him reeling to the ground. After the battle he was found to be breathing and picked up and loaded on a hospital wagon.

June, 1864 Carroll County VA CSA

James rode Jamie’s mule down to the post office. His horses had been taken by the army. There was always a list posted outside the door, and he stood looking at the list of names. He couldn’t read but could recognize his name and that of his sons. He skimmed down the list…Carter taken prisoner Dalton, GA. and then he saw Jamie’s name, dead at Dalton, GA. He covered his face with his hand, receiving the condolences of the other people standing around him. The postmaster had a letter for him from John and he found somebody to read it to him. John was all right but hadn’t seen Jamie since Dalton. He wandered down the road until he found a step to sit on and broke down. He had five sons go off to war, one injured for life and one still alive and one sent to certain death, two gone for good. He didn’t know how he was going to tell Dicey. She’d go off.

He mounted the mule and headed back up the mountain, stopping by to see Patsy.

Patsy was rocking the baby on the porch when he rode up. The boys ran over to him but he didn’t acknowledge them. Patsy stopped rocking, watching James walk up. His shoulders were stooped and his light blue eyes red rimmed.  Her heart stood still when he met her eyes.

"Patsy…Jamie’s dead."

She started a high pitched keening, bending over and setting the baby on the porch. She held her body and rocked, hardly able to breathe. The boys and Milly came running up to the porch to see what was happening, and their grandpa told them their daddy was no more. Inside the door her thirteen year old sister who had come to live with her, began shaking with tears. James welling up again, wiping his eyes, tried to comfort her but she was beyond it. He left knowing he had to tell Dicey not only was Jamie gone but Carter as well.

She walked in the house, bent in her grief, found the last letter she had received from him and held it to her breast.  Her sister Celia brought the baby boy, named Jackson, in the house and sat down, watching her sister. Hours went by before Patsy was able to move about and begin to put what food there was out on the table.

Madison had not spoken since his grandpa told them the news until now. "He ain’t dead. I know he ain’t."

"He is, Madison. It’s posted and your Uncle John says so. He ain’t coming back, Madison."

Madison stabbed at the salt pork and gravy on his plate and refused to believe his daddy wasn’t coming back.

The next morning Min and Jenny climbed the mountain to see Patsy. Jenny brought her three children and they were playing with Jimmy and Milly. Madison had taken himself off to the woods.

"I’ve been thinking," Patsy said quietly, "I can’t stay here. There ain’t no life here for us. We ain’t gonna make it through another winter."

"It’s hard everywhere, Patsy. We just make do cause we have to. There ain’t no other way right now," stated Min. "Lord knows if it hadn’t been for neighbors we would have starved this past year."

"I wish I could help you but there ain’t nothing I can offer. Me and the young’uns are barely getting’ by as it is. There ain’t no tellin’ when John will ever get home."

Patsy turned to Jenny. "Well, at least you got something to look forward to, Jenny. I ain’t got nothin’." She crossed her arms over her waist. "I’m thinkin’ we’ll set out for West Virginia. I got some family there. Maybe we can have a better life."

"Oh, Patsy, don’t go and do something like that! This ain’t no time to be travelin’ about. You ain’t got no way to go, anyhow," Min said, shaking her head.

"Ha, we got feet! I guess we can walk."

"Have you talked to James?" asked Jenny.

"What’s the use? He can’t help me, and Dicey, have you seen her lately? She’s wasting away and her mind ain’t right. No, I can’t go to James. He ain’t got nothin’ either."

"Well, when you thinkin’ about goin’, Patsy?"

"Soon, real soon while we got the weather." She looked out over the mountain road. "Real soon."

"Well, you got Celia here and Madison to help with Jimmy and Jack. Where is Madison? I ain’t seen him," Min asked.

Patsy wiped her forehead. "He’s probably down at the creek. He ain’t takin’ this too good."

It took her three weeks to finally get things ready to go. She cleaned her house as best she could and packed a bundle tied to a stick for each of her children to carry. Early on a Sunday morning she gathered them together to set off. Madison sat on the porch and wouldn’t move.

"Madison, get your bundle and let’s go. We can make good time today. Come on."

"I ain’t goin’."

"You can’t stay here, Madison. Come on!" she pleaded.

Madison stood up, his face splotched red. "I know he ain’t dead, Mama, and I ain’t gonna leave. I’ll go up to grandpa’s and wait for him. You go on. I ain’t goin.’"

Patsy looked at her nine year old son with his daddy’s hair and eyes, his fists balled up at his sides, and walked over to him, putting her arms around him. "Madison, I can’t make it no different. We would have heard somethin’ if he was still alive. I want him to be alive, too, but I’ve faced it. He’s dead."

Madison grabbed his bundle of clothes and tore out across the yard to the road, headed for his grandpa’s house. Patsy called after him until he was out of sight, then crying, she picked up her bundle, took the baby from Celia and set off down the mountain.

It was several months later a letter came for Min. Patsy and the children and her sister had made it to Spencer, W VA and had met a preacher who had taken them in. She had married him within a week of arriving.

PART 4

YOU GO TO SLEEP. GOD MUST AWAIT EVENTS AND WORDS

                                                                                                                                            Robert Frost

June 23^rd, 1864 Ocmulga Hospital, Macon, GA CSA

Lily Ann Saunders walked quickly down the crowded dusty street with her knitted bag dragging her right arm down with its weight. She had walked down to the City Hall Hospital to beg supplies. The streets were crowded with ambulatory wounded soldiers and the hospitals overflowing. Her father was chief surgeon at Ocmulga Hospital and had dispatched his twenty-two year old daughter in hopes she could better obtain the supplies he needed. Lily had been nursing for five years, traveling with her father to Macon from Baltimore, Maryland to help establish a hospital prior to the break out of hostilities with the north.

She rounded the corner to the back exit of the hospital, meeting an orderly inside the door, and handed him her bag to take to her father. She removed her bonnet and mopped her brow with her handkerchief. The air was close down on the ground level and she walked quickly up to the third floor where the windows were open, allowing some breeze to circulate through the wards.

She poured water in the basin and washed her hands before making her rounds. Stopping to speak and sooth the brows of her patients as she worked down the rows, she came to stand by the unknown soldier and felt his brow. His fever was still high so she went to get a cloth and basin of water.  Squeezing out the cloth, she laid it on his brow and felt for his pulse.  He had been brought in from Dalton the first week in June having had his little finger on his right hand amputated at the first joint.  She had heard Dalton had become little more than a field hospital, amputations being the preferred method of treatment. His finger had become infected and all the shot found in his body had not been removed. Her father said the shot in his chest no doubt came after he had been knocked down in battle.  His pockets had been rifled before he was brought into Dalton so they had no way of identifying him other than the insignia on his jacket; he was with the 63^rd Virginia Infantry. He had remained unconscious and sometimes delirious with fever.

Lily wrung the cloth again and wiped his face and neck. She pulled the sheet up, checking the bandages around his chest for bleeding. She always spoke softly to him when she nursed him, telling him what she was doing and why. He never spoke but she thought he could hear her. She wrung the cloth once again and folded it, laying on his forehead and tucking the sheet around him. She placed her hand on his cheek and he turned his face into her palm as if seeking some comfort there.

"There now, you’re going to be fine. We’re taking good care of you," she murmured and removed her hand. That was a good sign she thought, at least a response.

Jamie was lost in another world. He was on the battlefield, running and throwing himself to the ground, covering his ears when the artillery roared. Other times he was on horseback riding up the mountain and at times with Patsy. He thought he could breathe the clear mountain air and tried to take deep breaths only to be caught in the smoke and dirt of the battlefield and coughed until his body was on fire with pain.  He was pulled toward a soft, low voice that seemed to drift in and out of his mind.

Out in the hallway the volunteers were discussing the war. "I should think you ladies might find something more pleasant to talk about with our boys laid out awaiting your services," Lily commented as she carried her basin to dump it out the window. She was not widely popular among the local volunteers. It was known her brother was a Union soldier. Lily professed no politics but sought only to serve those in need and right now there were plenty in need.

She walked with her father, making rounds before the lights were extinguished for the night. He had the orderly remove the bandages around Jamie’s chest so he could examine the wound. Not liking what he saw, he sighed, "I think I shall have to go back in there and clean it out again. We need to get this man up on his feet. His breathing doesn’t sound too good." He carefully laid Jamie back on the bed. Lily stood by the bed, examining his torso from the waist up and except for the nasty red wound above his right breast she liked the look of him.

He scribbled some notes on his pad and looked at Lily. "You can apply a light bandage for the night. I’m going to open him back up in the morning…Lily."

She slowly dragged her eyes away from Jamie and answered her father. "Yes, of course. I’ll see to it now," and smiled at her father’s strange look.

"We still have no idea who he is, do we?" he wondered.

"No, he hasn’t spoken but I did get a movement from him today. I took that as a good sign."

Lily carefully bathed his wound with disinfectant and applied a clean bandage. "Did you hear? The doctor is going to operate on you again in the morning, clean out that wound again. You should start feeling better soon. Perhaps your fever will go away. There now, that will do you for tonight. Would you like a sip of water?" Holding his head up with her left arm she held a cup to his lips until he would drink. She was tucking the sheet around him and touched his hand to move it back, when his fingers closed around hers for a moment and she looked up. His eyes fluttered open for a minute before closing once again. "My name is Lily Ann," she said softly, "and I will see you in the morning."

It was, however, two days before Dr. Saunders was able to operate on Jamie. More wounded coming in from the battlefields had kept him busy.  Lily went with the orderlies to bring him down to the operating room. He moaned as he was transferred to the stretcher and she told him he was on the way to the operating room and not to worry. He was chloroformed and strapped down as Dr. Saunders went to work.

Later that night Dr. Saunders made his rounds and stopped by Jamie’s bed, finding Lily seated beside him with a book. "You seem to spend an inordinate amount of time with this patient,Lily. Why is that, do you think?"

"I’m not neglecting my other patients, Doctor," she answered.

"I didn’t say you were. Maybe it’s the mystery. His pulse is strong. Did you give him the laudanum?"

"Yes, only a small dose to take the edge off," she replied.

"Good. Anything that takes away pain is in very short supply. I fear for my operating table in the near future. You should get some rest, Lily. You’ve been on your feet all day."

"I’m perfectly seated now. I’d like to stay and see if he’ll wake."

"Suit yourself. As soon as I’m through here I’m going to lie down for awhile." He wiped his weary brow and continued down the row.

Jamie slept through the night with the aid of the laudanum. Lily arrived early and opened the window as far as she could. It was a hot, sultry morning. She poured out water in the basin and wrung her cloth, wiping his face as she checked his pulse. She peeked under the sheet, seeing the bandage was still clean, no sign of bleeding. "Good morning," she said softly, "I hope you slept well. You’ll have some broth shortly as soon as Missy brings up the tray."  She walked around and checked on his finger stub. The bandages had come off and he had a nice pink end to his little finger. "This looks good," she nodded and placed his hand back under the sheet. "I’ll be back shortly," she told him and went to check on her other patients.

Lily went back to Jamie when she saw the cups of broth being distributed. He was the only one on her floor now who could not feed himself. "Here we are, a cup of broth." She held his head in her left arm and the cup to his lips. "Hello…I know you’re hungry but this is all you can have until you are awake. Open up." She held the cup against his mouth until he began sipping the broth. He turned his head against her breast when he had finished. Had she held him a little closer as she laid his head back on the pillow? There was something about him that attracted her even in unconsciousness.

She was busy with changing a bandage for a patient next to Jamie when he began to cough. Fearing he may tear the stitches her father had so carefully sewn on his chest, she turned. "Excuse me just a minute," she said and turned Jamie on his side, easing his coughing spasm. "Are you all right now?" she asked and bent down to his face. He was awake. His eyes were open, trying to find the source of the soft voice that filled his head. "Don’t go back to sleep. Just give me a minute," she whispered and turned back to her patient's bandage needs. She worked quickly. A little thrill had caught in her chest when his eyes had met hers.

When she turned back to him his eyes were closed again until she touched him on the arm. "Hey there. I am so glad to see you awake. I’m Lily Ann. I’ve been taking care of you for awhile. Would you like some water?" She held the water glass for him to drink from and laid his head back down.

He tried to clear his throat, saying later it felt like he’d swallowed a frog. "Thanks," he croaked.

"Your throat will clear. It’s been a while since you’ve spoken. We don’t know your name. Can you tell me who you are?"

Jamie looked confused, glanced around the room and back to Lily. "Where am I?"

"You’re in a hospital, Ocmulga Hospital in Macon. You’ve been here since June 3^rd, I believe."

He closed his eyes again and said quietly, "I’m Jamie Sutherlin, Pvt Company I, 63^rd Regiment Virginia Infantry. This ain’t no Yankee hospital, is it?"

"Oh no, Jamie." She liked the sound of his name. "You’re still in the CSA."

"What news of the campaign?" he asked.

"It’s not good. I hear Sherman’s headed for Atlanta. The hospitals are full and patients are in the streets here in Macon."

"I was near Dalton."

"Yes, I know. You were brought here from Dalton. I believe you left behind a bit of your finger there in Dalton."

He raised his right hand and looked at it for a minute. "Is that all I lost?"

She smiled, "Yes, except for a goodly amount of blood. You’re gonna be all right, Jamie. It’s gonna take a while for you to heal and get back on your feet. There was a lot of lead shot in your body, but the doctor has cleaned all that out. You were shot at close range there on your chest."

"I feel weak as a newborn kitten. How long have I been here? What’s the date?"

"It’s June 27^th, Jamie. You’ve been here nearly a month now."

"No, it was May ‘bout the 16^th or 17^th, I remember."

"Well, you were in Dalton for a while so I couldn’t tell you what day you were taken in. I’ve got to go tend to my other patients up here, Jamie, but I’ll be back."

He caught her eye. "I thought you was an angel. Your voice sounded like an angel in my head."

She smiled, showing her even white teeth. "No, just a nurse." Rising reluctantly, she worked her way down the row, stopping to chat and seeing to their needs.

Jamie thought she looked like an angel and sounded like one; she must be an angel.  She was very petite with dark blond hair and blue eyes. He tried to turn on his side but his chest caught a pain and he eased himself back. He could hardly believe it was the end of June. He moved his legs around and the muscles felt tight. There was a tremor to his hands when he lifted them so he let them fall back on the bed. His thoughts turned to Patsy and he remembered her saying he’d come home all busted up. He’d have to get well before he went home. He had a son he’d never seen and that thought sent a smile across his face.

ON TO PART 5

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