(
by Jo)
(
by Jo)
By Atonia Walpole
(Picture creations also by Atonia unless otherwise stated)
Part 1 – Home from the Sea
It felt good to stretch his legs and walk on terra firma. He carried his coat over his arm, the weather being warmish for this time of year. He’d sent his sea chest on ahead with Killick and Bonden in the wagon. Stephen was still in Portsmouth so he was on his own, walking along the familiar road to Ashgrove. Once over the rise he could look down and see part of his holdings, the plantation of trees still not what he had hoped for. The roof of the house came into view and he picked up his pace…Sophie, and with child.
She was hardly recognizable when he saw her out in the yard with her hands on her hips. She was enormous to his eyes and at only seven months into her pregnancy. Later she explained there were two heartbeats and so there would be two babies. There was no question of course of any sort of intimacy with her now. Still she was Sophie, a gentle and kind soul, and he loved her and her conversations.
Two days later things changed. Her mother arrived, complete with a wagon load of her belongings. She moved in bag and baggage, taking over the spare room and his household, moving furniture to accommodate her own. Of course she could stay, no question, none at all, and he did his best to welcome her. He soon became a fifth wheel in his own household. Gone were the quiet conversations with Sophie and time spent with her alone. For over a week he busied himself out of doors, only coming in for meals and the evenings when it became too dark outside to do anything at all. He had so far not allowed the thing in the back of his mind to come forward, but it leapt when a letter arrived from his father stating that he would be at home in the country should he like to visit.
He avoided his father at every turn but this would give him the excuse he needed, and he felt he needed one, to go north. He left his disagreeable household and headed for Meadowfields.
The sight of Catty running to him was almost more than he could bear. He caught her up in his arms and swung her around. “My dear!” He kissed her deeply.
“Oh, I’ve watched and waited for you,” she said, crushed to his body.
“How are you?” He held her back and got a good look at her. Her cheeks were blooming.
“Now that you’re here, I’m wonderful.”
“I shall be here for awhile, perhaps as much as three weeks.”
“Then let us not waste a moment of it!” She kissed him boldly in the garden.
Hand in hand she showed him the garden, what plants had been put in and the vegetable garden where already seeds had been planted for spring crops and lettuces were coming up. She showed him the livestock pens and the pigs, Jack smiling all the while at her enthusiasm and her accomplishments.
Cook, happy to have the master to cook for, began a huge meal for dinner and plied them with tea and cake in the small withdrawing room, James, the footman feeding the fire and smiling stealing a glance at the two of them on the sofa; the butler polishing off the silver serving pieces in the dining room. The house came alive in a different way now that the master was home. And he was home. He felt it the minute he walked inside.
“I feel very much welcomed. ” He sipped his tea.
“You are welcomed home, my love.” Catty couldn’t take her eyes off of him for fear he would disappear.
“You have not wanted for anything, foodstuffs have been sufficient?”
“The only thing I have wanted for is you. We have done quite well through the winter. Peters found the wine cellar,” she grinned. “He said you would be spoilt for choice.”
“Is it drinkable?”
“Oh, yes. Aged quite well, too.”
“I look forward to it. Whilst I’m here I must pay a visit to my father. He sent a message that he was at home and wished to see me.”
“You don’t get on with your father, do you?”
“Unfortunately no. He’s a radical where his politics are concerned and causes me much grief but his letter came at an opportune time. I was ready to get away from Ashgrove.”
“I am sorry. I know you looked forward to going home.”
“My mother-in-law has arrived, bag and baggage, for an extended stay and unfortunately for me, Sophie is under her influence at present.”
“She is with child…you said.”
“Yes, with two.”
“I am resigned never to have children. I suppose something is not quite right about me.”
“You are perfect for me and in my eyes.” He smiled and placed his hand over hers.
“I would so love to give you a child, a son.”
“It is not necessary. You give me yourself and that is more than I could ever hope for.” He sipped his tea with a twinkle in his eye. “You have not shown me the improvements in the master’s suite.”
“Oh, but…the draperies have not….” Her face lit up with a wide smile.
Barely had the door closed after James had been shooed out of the room when he took her in his arms and kissed her. “You have no idea what you do to me, Catty. It frightens me sometimes how much I love you.” He kissed her again.
“I only exist for you, Jack my darling, only because of you, else I would be at the bottom of the sea. You saved me.”
“And yet I did not know it was you. You have taken over part of my life and I would not have it any other way.” He ran his hands over her body.
“Then take me now and make me that part of you.”
He moaned and took her to bed.
They spent a week in domestic bliss, riding out each day to inspect the property as weather permitted, walking in the wood where the bracken was once again taking on life, the trees were beginning to bud and unfurl their sticky new leaves. Jack was pleased with the estate. It was well run and prosperous, self sufficient in every way, much more so than his own at Ashgrove, though he tried not to compare the two.
“I must go and see my father.” He set his glass down on the table in the front parlor. “I have put it off until I cannot wait longer. Tomorrow I shall ride out only for a day or two then I hope to be back.”
“Is he like you at all?”
“No, except for the height, I took after my mother. God rest her soul.”
“Will you go alone or…?”
“I must. How else to explain a footman I do not possess?” he smiled.
“It becomes difficult. I fear for you sometimes.”
“Do not distress over me, love.” He walked to the window and looked out over the front drive. “I have succeeded in dividing myself in half, one half here and the other at Ashgrove. If only I could actually divide my person to appear in both places at once.”
“I…I sometimes feel very guilty over you. I could not love you more were you not married. I take you away from your family and I know how precious that time is. But I cannot help myself.”
“Neither can I.” He turned and smiled at her. “Tis why I am here at this moment.”
She kissed him good bye the next morning and said a little prayer for his safety as he rode out of the drive. Wiping tears, she turned and went back into the house. It seemed so empty now he’d taken the heart of the house with him.
Later that morning she was stitching in the small withdrawing room when Peters came to tell her there was a carriage arriving.
“A carriage?” She put her sewing down and stood up, straightening her skirt. Who would be visiting her, she wondered, and followed Peters into the hall.
She caught her breath, seeing the woman being helped from the carriage. “Judith!” She ran down the drive.
“Catty…please, I need….” She was helped inside by Peters and the coachman to the parlor. James brought a footstool and Catty called for water.
It was obvious she was great with child. “Why have you come in this condition? Oh, Judith!”
Judith looked wearily at her. “I had no choice…no where else to go and have my
baby.”
“What do you mean? Jean has not come with you?”
“No, it is he that sent me. My position hangs on this child. His father has been told by some of the servants, some of his own, not the ones from Greenlees, who of course know who I am but they have nevertheless talked. Jean denied it, of course, but then he feared the child might not look like him. You and I share the same father but, alas, our mothers….”
“This is outrageous, Judith! I cannot believe Jean would send you across the seas in this condition alone.”
“I did not start out alone but my servant died in route. She was terrified of the sea and succumbed to much sickness. She was totally useless to me.” Judith sipped the glass of water handed to her.
Part 2 – Judith
Catty had a room made ready for Judith and put her to bed. Glenda attended to her, making her as comfortable as she could.
“Judith, tell me. When is the baby due to arrive?” Catty asked.
“Any time. I just wish it to be over.” She leaned back on the soft pillows.
“I still cannot believe this that Jean could be so heartless.”
“You don’t know…well, maybe you do. You lived there for five years with Henri. Richard Latrouix is the heartless one, as well you know. His sight may be going but his hearing is not. I’ve tried so hard, Catty, to copy your speech patterns but your laugh I cannot. I think he has suspected for sometime but said nothing to me. He doesn’t speak to me but through Jean or a servant. Of late he has been making comments about the baby, about how his family has never had a dark-eyed child and that if it be dark-eyed then it is to be taken away.”
“He is cruel beyond measure! What will you do if it is a dark-eyed child?”
“It is not the eyes I fear.…” She looked away. “If it is my mother’s child then I cannot take it home.”
“You would leave your child…where?” Catty caught her breath.
“I had hoped…with you.” She looked back at Catty.
“You cannot do this to me! Not that I care a fig what color the babe may be but I am not married and I have made a life for myself here at Meadowfields…with Jack.”
“Well, then…someone will take it. There must be homes for such children.”
“You are as heartless as Richard! How can you even think of giving up your own child, Jean’s child…?”
“I will lose him and everything. Don’t you see, Catty? I could say it died at birth. No one will ever know.”
“And what then, the heir to half of St. Georges should grow up in poverty? You surprise me, Judith.”
“He could have Meadowfields. Is it not in the name of Judith Lewis?”
“Catherine Judith Lewis. I gave you a life, gave you what you desired! This is mine! This is what I have.”
“It’s very nice, too. Jean was very generous with you.”
“Yes, he was and I shall be forever grateful to him, otherwise I should have been on the streets of St. Georges as you would have been if not for my trading places with you. You forget yourself, Judith.”
“Perhaps I do. I am no longer your companion.”
“I see. I don’t wish you to be my companion but I had hoped still a sister.” Catty rose from the side of the bed.
“I’ve upset you, Catty. I am sorry but I find myself in a desperate situation. It is true you gave me a life but I’m the one who must live it. Every day I pray for Richard Latrouix not to see another sunrise. Jean is under his thumb. There is nothing he can do.”
“There is but, like Henri, he values land and money above all else. To see his lady treated as you are and as I was does not say much for the man.” She turned and left the room. Running down the hallway to her own, she closed the door.
She cried a little and then splashed water on her face from the bowl and dried with a towel. Glenda came in, asking if she would be dressing for dinner.
“Dinner? Oh, dear, I don’t think so. With the Captain not here, just the usual in the small withdrawing room and a tray for Mrs. Latrouix, please.”
“Should I be seeing about a midwife?”
“Do you think it’s eminent?”
“I don’t know, ma’am, but a midwife could tell us more.”
“Yes, then send the boy, Billy, to the village.”
The midwife arrived just as the moon took its place over Meadowfields. The child would be born before daylight was the word from upstairs relayed by Glenda.
“Very well. Make sure she has everything she may need.” Catty had little appetite for dinner and after a brief period with her sewing, she went up to bed.
The screams began around midnight and continued on through most of the night. Catty had been into the room to see Judith and, unable to take the pain and suffering, she excused herself and went back to her room where she sat looking out over the back garden, waiting for sunrise. She was asleep in the chair when Glenda came to rouse her.
“Ma’am, the babe is born and Mrs. Latrouix is doing well.”
Catty ran her hand over her face. “Oh…the baby.” She stood up, working a cramp out of her leg, then walked down the hall and opened the door. Judith, looking flushed, was asleep with her hair spread out on the pillow, still damp.
The midwife had cleaned up her things and was packing a bag. “The baby? Where is it?” Catty asked.
It lay in a drawer of the dresser, wrapped in a blanket. Catty went over and pulled the blanket back. It was a boy, its dark curls lying close to its head, its skin a dusky rose. “He’s beautiful,” she said.
“He won’t live,” The midwife pronounced.
“Whyever not? Is there something wrong with him? He looks healthy enough.”
“Her. She won’t feed him.” The tall, spare woman straightened up.
“Well…he can’t just starve! How horrible!” She looked back at the sleeping baby.
Glenda knew the situation with Judith, having overheard her conversation with Catty. “Perhaps a wet nurse might be found.”
“There be them aplenty for a price,” the midwife said.
Catty looked at Glenda. “Arrange it, please.” Not to feed a newborn baby? She felt anger toward her sister and glanced over at the bed.
Cook had sent up a tray with tea to her room and she gladly poured herself out a cup and sat back in her chair, looking out over the garden. Jack would be home in the next day or two and to come home to this….
Catty sent the midwife and Glenda back to the village. Soon the baby was crying and she went down the hallway and opened the door. Judith lay in the bed, ignoring it’s cries.
“How can you do this?” she hissed and went to the dresser, taking the baby from the drawer.
“Don’t bring it to me.” Judith turned her head away.
“This is Jean’s son. How can you not love it?”
“It’s not of him. Look at it! I can’t take it home with me.”
“It is! Look how its brows wing upwards, it’s nose straight as a Latrouix nose has ever been. He reminds me of Henri.”
“Was Henri ever so dark?”
“It’s the Spanish blood from our grandmother.”
Judith laughed, “No…no, Catty, it is from my mother. He can never be a Latrouix. Can you imagine him at table with the servants around him?”
“Our father would have had him at table.” Catty lifted her chin.
“Our father is dead.” Judith pleated the sheet with her fingers. “There is only Latrouix now, no more Lewis.”
“He’s hungry. You have not fed him.”
“Nor will I.”
“I’ve sent for a wet nurse, if he will live until she arrives. You would not treat an animal this way, Judith. I don’t understand what has happened to you.” She rocked the baby in her arms, trying to comfort his cries.
“Don’t you?” She looked up, fixing Catty with her dark eyes.
“You should be the happiest woman in the world. You have Jean and everything he has, including Greenlees. What more could you possibly want?”
“I have nothing that is truly mine. You are not there. You don’t see how the servants look at me, how they whisper. They know I am one step up from them, that my mother was one of them. This child was my only hope. If I could produce an heir, Jean’s heir, then my place would be secure. As it is, the truth about me will surface and Jean won’t be able to save me. I know how it will play. It will be as a terrible hoax has been played upon him, that I tried to deceive him into believing I was you.”
“Jean loved you, Judith. He won’t be party to such a claim.”
“I believe he would be if it saves him in his father’s eyes. He would denounce me in a minute. He is a Latrouix, after all.”
“Do you still love him?”
“Yes. For me nothing has changed but I think for him it has.” She bit her lip and looked down.
“I could almost feel sorry for you if not for this starving baby in my arms.” Catty looked down at her in the bed. “It’s not his fault, is it, that you have come to desire money and position above all else. Yes, it is as I thought.”
“You don’t understand! You, who have never had to take a step back from anything. You never noticed, did you, that I always walked a few paces behind you, that our father spoke of me as your companion and never once as your sister or called me daughter. We looked in the mirror, didn’t we, and we were nearly the same…but not.”
“No, we are not the same and it is not our heritage that makes us different.”
Catty looked her in the eye.
Glenda arrived back a little after noon with the wet nurse, a young woman with a two week old baby and no father or family that would take her in. She explained to Catty, “She’s been staying with the midwife, who did not want her here, but with no where else for her to go, she would not turn her out with the baby.”
“Who is the father of the child?”
Glenda lowered her voice. “A clergyman, ma’am, and he will never acknowledge the baby. He’s off to London and won’t be back. Seduced her, she says.”
Catty raised her brows. “You don’t believe this. Who is her family?”
“Dairyman over to the next county. They won’t have her now.”
“Well, there’s no answer for it. The baby is starving, having cried himself to sleep. Take her to Judith and the baby.”
Glenda went out into the hallway and led the girl upstairs.
Catty rubbed the back of her neck, tired and sleepy, after only a few hours of uncomfortable sleep in the chair. She stood up and walked to the front parlor, looking out of the window, wishing Jack would appear on his black stallion. “Come home, my love,” she whispered.
Part 3
Jack arrived around three the next afternoon and Catty met him at the door. Beating Peters to the handle, she opened it and fell into his arms. “Jack, I’m so glad you’re home!”
“Catty, love.” He kissed her and moved into the house, leading her into the front parlor. “I believe I’ve been missed.”
“There is much to tell you and, yes, you have been missed. Peters, if we might have tea?”
“What have you to tell me?”
Catty told him about Judith and the baby. “And so now we have a wet nurse for him. She still will not hold him or look at him and refuses to take him home with her.”
“How long will she be here?”
“Perhaps a month, until she is strong enough to travel.”
“This does not sound like the Jean Latrouix that I know. He was in love with her.”
“Yes, I know, and that makes me doubt what she has told me. I’m not sure it’s him that’s worried about the child’s heritage.”
“Damnable slavery! Perhaps I should talk with her? I might be able to smoke it.”
“I cannot talk to her anymore. Please, if you will.” She sipped her tea. “I’m sorry I haven’t asked about your father. Is he well?”
“Oh, yes, he’s well. He’s up and married a dairymaid to the embarrassment of himself and us all.”
“Oh.…”
“You see, my dear, you are not the only one with a troubled family.”
She couldn’t help it. “Ha!” It slipped out and she covered her mouth, but her eyes were smiling.
Jack looked at her and chuckled. “Yes, you may well laugh but it might have a bearing on my status in the admiralty.”
“I am sorry.”
“No, you aren’t.” He smiled, pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head.
“It’s so good to have you here.” She looked up at him and he kissed her lips.
Jack went in to see Judith before dinner. He’d bathed and changed his clothes. “Hello, Judith. How are you, dear?” He approached the bed and she held out her hand. He smiled a little smile and bowed over it.
“Captain Aubrey, how good to see you. Please sit down. I’m afraid I’ve come at a bad time. I had no idea you were here.”
“I’ve been away to see my father. Tell me why have you come such a distance in your condition?”
“I really had no choice, Captain, you see.” She looked down at the bit of lace handkerchief in her hand. “Old Mr. Latrouix threatened to take my child should it have dark eyes. And, of course, one doesn’t know until it’s too late. It was a rather long and perilous journey, to be sure.”
“And does it have dark eyes?”
“Yes,” she looked away, “I’m afraid it does. Jean will not be pleased. It cannot be a Latrouix. You do understand, Captain?”
“I am very surprised Jean did not accompany you. The man I know would never have let you take such a chance with yourself and his child. I really doubt very much if he would be that concerned with the color of his child’s eyes…or anything else. I can only think he must have had a fever of the brain to turn so since last summer.”
“It is his father who has influenced him. My position is in peril should I not produce a suitable heir. I cannot take the child home with me. I’m very sorry, Captain, to put such a burden on you and Catty at this time and I think there must be homes for such children.”
“You mean to give the baby away?”
“Well, I can’t possibly keep it, can I, with its dark eyes?”
“I think, Judith, you need to give this some serious thought and I also think you need to consult Jean before you take any such actions.”
“Yes, of course I do mean to. I have today started a letter…”
“Good. Well, I think dinner awaits me.” He stood up, bowed and walked to the door.
“What did you make of her?” Catty asked at the dinner table.
“I think she’s lying but, of course, I cannot back that up. I advised her to contact Jean before taking any action regarding the child.”
“That’s very good advice…but will she?”
“She says she’s begun a letter. Where is the child?”
“The wet nurse, a girl from the next county named Dru Mays, has taken the babies to the attics. There are servant quarters there and she’s taken a room.”
“Banished to the attics, the heir to St. Georges....”
“Yes…it is very sad.”
Knowing Jack’s time at Meadowfields was drawing to a close, Catty contrived to spend as much time with him as possible, ignoring Judith, who was still having her lying in period after giving birth. They rode each day and took the carriage into the village to inquire about more livestock. Jack wanted to make sure the estate was truly self sufficient and well stocked as his own was at Ashgrove. He went over her accounts and took care of her banking. Peters was doing an excellent job and he told him so.
They were having tea one afternoon when Peters interrupted to let the master know there was a gentleman to see him.
Jack, a little wary, went out into the hallway. “Stephen…however are you here?”
“I came on horseback,” he smiled, shaking Jack’s hand.
“More to the point, why are you here? Oh, do come into the parlor. There’s tea.”
“Dr. Maturin, what an unexpected surprise!” Catty rose to greet him.
“Miss Lewis, you are looking very well.”
“How did you find me?" Jack settled back on the couch.
“I inquired along the way, knowing this to be a half-day’s ride from your father’s estate. I would never in life have intruded upon your privacy but as I stopped off at Ashgrove there came a letter by messenger and I contrived to deliver it to you since I am on my way to London.”
“A letter?” Stephen handed him the document. “Oh, from the Admiralty, perchance a ship?” He opened the letter and read through it. “Ah, yes.” He looked up, smiling
“You’re going to sea?” Catty asked.
“I am, indeed.”
“Well, you don’t have to be so happy about it,” she teased, but inwardly she cringed.
“Ah, my dear, but this is truly a mission I’ve been waiting for. I shall accompany you to London, Stephen.”
“I thought you might. I went ahead and had your chest taken to Portsmouth whilst I was at Ashgrove.”
“Yes…I should feel some guilt there, I suppose. How did you find the house?”
“In an uproar. Killick has polished the silver nearly transparent and he and your mother-in-law are at odds over everything. Sophie, bless her, sews constantly.”
“Now you understand why I escaped so soon. I shall try and make amends. You are here for the night. James…,” he called toward the hallway.
“Yes, sir.”
“Have a room made ready for Dr. Maturin and tell Cook there will be another for dinner.”
Stephen watched him in amazement. He was master of the house. He turned to Catty. “How are you, Miss Lewis?”
“I’m very well, Doctor,” she smiled, “very well indeed. I wonder while you’re here if I might call upon your medical knowledge to examine a newborn babe?”
Stephen looked toward Jack, eyes wide. “Not mine,” Jack smiled. “It belongs to Catty’s sister…I am assuming it is he that you wish examined?”
“Yes, just to make sure though he appears healthy enough.”
“I shall be delighted.” He let out a breath of relief. Jack’s life was complicated enough.
“I will leave you two and go and see about dinner.” Catty made her withdrawal.
“Well, my brother, you are master of house and home here at Meadowfields?”
Absently still looking at the letter, Jack replied, “Yes, it would appear so. It is, of course, for Catty’s protection.”
“Of course it is.”
Jack walked him out to show him the gardens that were going in. “I was quite fortunate to find a man of work in the village. He’s proved to be a gem at growing things.”
“Too bad he can’t get to Ashgrove. Really, Jack, you can’t grow a rock.”
“Ha, ha, you’ve had a look! Yes, but somehow it all comes right in the end. There is always food and fowl enough.”
Stephen paused and looked over the rolling hills and dales. “What have you done, Jack?”
Jack glanced at him sideways. “I’ve divided myself in two. I’ve two homes and two wives.”
“How long do you think this can continue? I see how you talk in front of Miss Lewis about Ashgrove and Sophie but it would not do for Sophie ever to find out about Catty. She would never understand it.”
“No, she would not. Truly, Stephen, I do not know. I cannot see an end to it. I never meant for this to happen, you know, never sought out a mistress but she has become…become so important to me. I dearly love her.”
“That is quite obvious.” Stephen touched his shoulder. “How long before your father finds you here? It’s only a half-day ride.”
“Did you stop by there? Ah, well, then you must have been introduced to my new stepmother. And with that, what can he say to me… half his age and a milkmaid at that. I doubt he has interest enough in his surroundings to find me here.”
“I do hope your luck runs true, Lucky Jack.” Stephen grinned and got one back from Jack.
After dinner Stephen climbed the attic stairs to the nursery. “Bring the lamp,” she said to the girl, Dru.
“He is of mixed blood,” Stephen observed and began his examination of the infant.
“He is my sister’s child with my late husband’s brother. My father took a slave woman and later set her free, along with my sister Judith. Dr. Maturin, she has rejected him because of his color and refuses to feed him and has never held him in her arms. She means to give him up.” Catty bit her lip. “This is the first time I’ve really looked at him since the day of his birth. He looks like my late husband. Might he have blue eyes?”
“I think so. They are clouded now but you see the color there that will come. He has fine features and will make a handsome man one day,” he sighed, “and she will not take to him.”
“No.…” Catty turned as the other baby began to cry and Dru picked him up. “Let the Doctor have a look at him, too. He’s not ill, is he?”
“No, ma’am.” She turned the baby over to Stephen.
“I see he has a clubbed foot…but no cleft palate as some times accompanies this malformation.”
“Will he ever walk?” Catty asked.
“Oh, yes, he’ll walk but perhaps with some difficulty.”
“Poor little tyke. He’s a handsome boy otherwise,” she smiled at Dru.
“Well, they both are healthy babies,” Stephen proclaimed and touched Judith’s son’s head. “He may be fair headed one day, at least a light brown color; could be taken for a Spaniard or an Italian.”
“Judith will not see this. I’ve said as much to her but she only sees her mother’s blood. I am much troubled by her.”
“She sounds a troubled young woman.”
Catty stepped back while Dru took her baby and sat down to feed him. “She’s more than that. I fear her head’s been turned by money and position, something she’s never had before.” As they walked back down stairs she told Stephen of the switch they’d made and of Judith’s love for Jean Latrouix.
“You gave up everything for her, your father’ s lands and holdings?”
“Yes, but I didn’t love Jean. He was like a brother to me and Judith did, so it seemed a thing to do and it’s turned out for both of us, if she would only accept her son.”
“Would you mind if I talk with her?”
“No, not at all. She’s just here in this room.” Catty knocked and went in for a moment then came out. “She will see you. I’m going down to Jack.”
ON TO PART 5
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