A THOUSAND NEW PATHS
(Sequel to The Golden Orb)
I dreamed a thousand new paths. I woke and walked my old one. (Chinese Proverb)
By Atonia Walpole
(Picture creations also by Atonia)
Part 1
The ship had docked in Tokyo three hours ago but David and Charlie were not allowed to leave because their papers had not arrived. Still bruised and battered she’d made her way up to the lounge area with David at her side, waiting.
“Do you think something’s gone wrong?” she asked.
He shook his head slightly. “We’re waiting for someone but I do not know who.” He looked out of the window to the deck below and saw the crew lining up. “Something is happening.”
Charlie couldn’t see from her seat and so she watched his face change from curiosity to absolute joy. He stood up. “I must go down.”
“Okay….” She shifted her seat after he left and leaned on the back of the chair. Three men dressed in Arab garb had boarded the ship and appeared to be greeting the crew, walking slowly and speaking to them. They were soon out of her sightline and so she sat back in the chair looking out over the port.
Someone had found her a pair of white men’s pants, part of a uniform, but at least they fit fairly well. She wore one of David’s shirts tied at her waist and a pair of flip flops. She’d been barefoot when she went down the zigzagged stairs to the sea from his house in Hong Kong. Her toes were shades of purple on her right foot, which was bound tightly, and she wore a bright blue cast on her right arm from her hand to just below the elbow. She adjusted the rolled up sleeves on the shirt and sighed.
David went down to the deck, staying well in the shadows away from the crew but he would pass this way to enter. He watched his friend with his white robes billowing about him, making his way to the end of the row. Erect, chin up, bearded now, he wasn’t quite as tall as David but much the same size. Underneath his headpiece his hair would be dark and curly, probably cut shorter now as he was older. He was married with three children. He was coming.
Prince Ali stopped when he saw Blaine and then he continued on, taking him by the arm inside the ship to the captain’s cabin. There he turned to him, kissed him on both cheeks and embraced him.
“Blaine…you have not changed at all, my dear.”
“You look well, Ali.”
“I am much better now that I see you alive. You were really going to do it….” His dark eyes filled with concern, he ran a hand down David’s arm to his hand, squeezed it and let it go.
“Yes, there was no other way for me, for my family.”
“I understand but now the price has been paid. I chose him carefully. He had his own price to pay so do not worry. I had no idea it would come to this. I am afraid my apologizes count for nothing for in a way I have taken your life from you, you whom I love.
“I have your papers. I used the photograph you sent to me and was able to get a photo of the girl from her embassy. She has been in my country. Did you know this?”
“She has been in many countries.”
Ali smiled a little. “I had her checked out. I couldn’t resist. You have chosen well.”
“Thank you. We have not really had time to know much about each other. She was injured trying to get to the foot of the hillside where I was taken.”
“Not seriously…?”
“No, but you know, don’t you?”
“Yes, everything is reported to me. I wish to meet with her while I am here.”
“I would like for you to meet her. How long will you be here?”
“Only for an hour. I wanted to deliver the papers to you personally.” He winked. “Actually I wanted to see you again.”
David smiled, “It is good to see you again. You have been very generous with me.”
“I owe you much more and will do more. There is a draft in this pouch for you to claim at my bank and also for the girl. I have taken two lives and will do all I can for you. I beg your forgiveness, Blaine. You know if I had any idea it would come to you this way I would never have begun the story.”
“There was no way to foresee where it would lead.”
“I would like to take you with me but I know you will not come. I respect your wishes and I understand. Do you know where you will go?”
“No, I cannot go to England and claim my father’s estate and I cannot go to China. I have never lived anywhere else. There are many paths to take and I must choose carefully.”
“Take your time. There is no hurry. An apartment has been obtained for you here in Tokyo for as long as you wish to stay. I look at you and I want to weep for what I have done.”
“Please, I will find my way again.”
Ali moved from his chair and took David’s face in his hands and kissed him gently. “I must leave but first I will see your Charlie.”
“She is in the lounge.”
“Let me speak with her alone. Do not worry.” He smiled and left the room. David went out on the deck with his leather pouch to smoke a cigarette.
Charlie looked up when the door opened, expecting to see David and was a little alarmed. She tried to get up.
“Please, my dear, do not get up.” Ali went to her and sat down in the chair she’d been in earlier. “I am your David’s friend, Ali.”
“I’m very honored to meet you.”
“The honor is mine. You are feeling much better, I hope?”
“Yes, I’m pretty tough so I’ll heal. Are you the one who gave me the dowry? I want to thank you. That was very kind.”
“It was the least I could for you. Blaine has the necessary papers to take to the bank. Has he ever mentioned me to you?”
Charlie looked at him a moment. “He said you loved him.”
“Did he? Well, that is true. I do.” He looked down. “I have told him just now how very sorry I am for what has happened. I want to say that to you. I am sorry for taking your life from you. He will not ask for anything and so I will tell you now, if ever he needs anything, money, diplomatic help…anything, you are to call me and let me know.” He brought out a gold case and took a card from it. “That will get you to me personally.”
“Thank you.” She took the card. “It is true that you took our lives. Mine wasn’t anything special, not much going for me, but his…well, it may be hard for him to find it again.”
“I will tell you something about Blaine. He has been an outsider his whole life. His father died when he was only eight years old. At that time he was a typical English schoolboy but he was taken back to Hong Kong and to his mother’s house. He was not allowed to speak English and his Chinese at that time he has told me was nonexistent. He had to learn a whole different way of living. He adapted well to the customs and language after awhile but you have only to look at him to know he is not Chinese. He was not accepted by other children. Children can sometimes be very cruel.
“He was sent to England at the age of 14 and by that time he was fully immersed in his Chinese heritage. I met him at school when he was sixteen. A more beautiful young man I have never known. He was very much withdrawn from his surroundings. However he was an excellent student, and I was his tutor in mathematics. He had created his own little world and that’s where he lived.
“Yes, that’s what he did at his house in Hong Kong.”
Ali smiled, “He has not changed so much. We were together for six years.”
“That’s a long time. May I ask you something? I was told he might be gay but I’ve found that isn’t so. Is he…is he bisexual?”
“No, he is straight as an arrow but I tried because I loved him. Love him, Charlie, and take care of him. He will need you. Now I must go.” He rose and kissed her hand and left.
Charlie turned the card over in her hand, thinking about the man who had just left her. He was a strong personality and yet David had resisted him. She tucked the card in her pocket and thought there was so much to learn about him and she was thankful for a little insight from Ali.
Ali walked out to the deck where Blaine was standing. “I will leave you now. I wish you much happiness with your Charlie, and remember always I am here for you.” He looked towards the port. “I didn’t tell you your new name, Blaine Davidson. It is not so hard to remember, is it?” He smiled and embraced him once again.
“Thank you again for everything you have done for me. I will let you know where I am.”
“You had better let me know,” he chuckled. “Ah, they are ready for me. Good bye, my brother.”
David took his hand in both of his and bowed. A quick embrace followed and he watched Ali join his men and leave. It would have been easy for him to have left with Ali, to be taken care of without worry of any kind but Ali was a torture he could no longer endure.
Part 2
Blaine was at the window of the penthouse apartment looking down on the city that seemed to stretch forever. He turned, hearing Charlie come to him, and held out his hand for her.
“What to you see, David?”
“It is like Hong Kong, too much of everything but without a path to my home.”
She slipped her arm around his waist and leaned into him. “We’ll find that path, maybe not here but it’s out there somewhere."
They depended on the building concierge to take care of their needs. David had been to the bank and applied for credit cards in their names but other than that he had remained in the apartment. Charlie was still dealing with her sprained ankle and through the concierge had found a doctor to take a look at it in hopes the bindings might come off so she could walk a little better.
A week later and she was wearing an elastic bandage on her ankle. She was not used to being cooped up and was longing to get out and explore the city. David, having found the building’s library, contented himself with reading.
She was looking at her new British Passport, Charlene Davidson. Ali had given her David’s last name. “Are we supposed to be married?”
“I’m sorry?” He looked up from his book.
“My name is the same as yours.”
“Yes.”
“Nice way of getting married, just change your name…skip all the ceremonies.”
“Do you want to get married? Is that what you want?”
“No, no,I was just…thinking. Would you if I did?”
“Yes, if that is what you desire.”
“I don’t think it’s necessary right now.” She lay the passport on the coffee table and pulled her knees up on the sofa. “How long do you think we’ll be here?”
“Until you are healed. Are you getting restless?”
She grinned up at him, “Yes, I am. I’m not used to being so confined. It’s a nice apartment and all but…I think you know what I mean.”
“I am very sorry to have caused you so much pain.”
“You’re not painful, not painful at all. You’re a soothing balm.” She leaned her head back on the sofa. He was a balm, his quietness calmed her, but she wondered sometimes what that quietness contained. He lived more within himself than out. What would happen should he ever let that stoic countenance drop? She wished she’d had more time to talk to Ali. If anyone knew him at all it would have been him.
“How did you meet Ali?”
He closed his book. “He was assigned to tutor me in mathematics. I met him in the library.”
“What did you think of him?”
“I thought he was very patient with me and he is not by nature a patient man. He is brilliant. I found out over the course of time.”
“Six years, he told me. It must have been very, um, hard for him to be with you feeling the way he did.”
“Not so hard, I think.” He smiled a little. “He befriended me, brought me out of the cocoon I had woven around myself and introduced me to his friends. He opened up my world.”
“He was in love with you. Still is, isn’t he? I can’t imagine six years without having that love returned.”
“It was returned.”
“You may not like this but I specifically asked him if you were bisexual. I had to know.”
He moistened his lips. “I am not. There are some things I could not bring myself to do, but love him, yes. It was not easy for me. He can be very persuasive and there were times when I thought I might give in. Part of me wanted to but he respected me in that way.”
“It wouldn’t matter to me if you were. I just…wanted to know.”
He tilted his head. “And what will you do with this knowledge?”
“Well… I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll put it in the mental notebook I’m keeping on you, all the little things that make up who you are. I got the impression he is a strong influence, a man used to getting what he wants. I can’t imagine living with you and not having you.”
“We did not live together. Our rooms were on different floors and he is not as strong as he appears. Would you like some tea?” He lay his book down and made to get up.
“Let me make it. I need to move around.” He didn’t want to talk about Ali to her and that was okay. She went into the kitchen area and plugged in the kettle.
“I was reading something in one of the magazines about Shinjuku Gyoen, the Japanese imperial gardens I thought that might be something you would be interested in seeing. It said there was a huge greenhouse with lots of exotic flowers.”
“I think you would like to get out of this aerie and spread your wings a little. Yes, I would like to go there with you, but do you think you could walk through gardens and greenhouses?”
“The doc told me I should walk on it and if I get tired and sore I’m sure there will be a bench somewhere to sit.” She brought him a cup of tea and sat down beside him on the sofa.
“Do you want to go now?”
“What do you want to do, David?”
“If you do, we still have time today.”
“No, I asked you what you wanted to do. Every time I ask you something it comes right back at me as though you’re afraid to make a decision. Yes, we do have time today but if you’d rather finish your book that’s okay, too. We’ve all the time in the world to walk a garden.” She sipped her tea.
“Perhaps tomorrow we can make a day of it.”
“That wasn’t so hard was it?” she teased him.
“I only want to please you, Charlie. I look at your arm in a cast and your foot in a bandage and I know I caused this. It pains me.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t go there, love. That’s all behind us now.”
“I heard your screams as I was being taken away and I wanted to go to you and let you know I was alive but I couldn’t break away. I tried…and it was only after I was brought to the ship that I was able to make someone understand that they must go back for you. They did not know. They had no orders where you were concerned. I didn’t know you were injured until you were brought on board.”
She reached out and put her hand on his arm. “It’s okay now. We’re here and....”
He put his cup on the table,. “It is not okay. I have much to atone for, two deaths at my company, innocent people, the shame and dishonor that I brought to my mother’s house, your injuries and the man who sacrificed himself for me. Because of me you have lost your life.”
“You’ve lost yours, too, and this whole orb thing wasn’t your doing. You didn’t launch the story. Stop blaming yourself for something someone else has done.”
“I knew the story from the beginning and I said nothing.”
“You won’t let it go, will you? There is no way to go back and change anything now. You’ve been given a second chance. Make something good out of it. I’m here with you, willing to go and do whatever it is you want to do. The life I had before, working for Cramer, is not a life I’d go back and want to live again. I made my choice before your aborted attempt to kill yourself. And you knew, at least I think you did, that I intended to prevent that from happening. That’s why I was drugged. I love you, David, and we have this second chance to live a different life…together if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know how to live a different life. I can’t see it yet. I love you, too, and I want to, to make it good for you, to make up for what you have lost. But I can do nothing until I find the path.”
“Do you think maybe with two of us looking for it, finding that path might be a little easier? You’re not alone any more, David.”
“I know and in a way that frightens me. If I take the wrong path there is no one but me to worry about but there are two of us now and if I don’t make the right choice then I have taken your life again. It is very important what happens to us.”
Charlie moved over to him, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. "It is important but what’s most important to me is you and for me that is a beginning because there has never been anyone in my life like you. I’ve never loved anyone or trusted anyone enough to put myself in their hands the way I have you. There are no wrong paths. It’s only what we make of it.”
Part 3
Touring the gardens was a success as far as David was concerned. He was interested in the plants and the way they were positioned in the landscape, the choices that were made. Aesthetically it suited him and he found a place to meditate, something he hadn’t done since he left Hong Kong.
Charlie found a bench and sat down, admiring the gardens and the views, but after a while some things about it bothered her. It brought back memories of her childhood, where her father was the gardener. It had been a rather large garden for the area and her father worked it daily. No grass or weeds grew in his garden but what she remembered were the many shrubs and trees he planted, pruned within an inch of their lives into balls and squares, shapes Mother Nature had not intended.
She recalled visiting a garden open to the public with her mother once where plantings were allowed their natural shape, some sprawling about, some upright, some fan shaped. That was the first time she became aware of her mother’s desire for a wild and free garden, something she would never have with her father. Like the bonsai in the greenhouse here, she turned her head in that direction. David…David had been pruned at an early age, not allowed his true shape, bound with traditions until the Englishness of him had all but disappeared.
She got to her feet and walked toward the little tea house where he had gone to meditate. Somehow, if there was any way possible she wanted to remove those bindings from him…if it wasn’t too late.
They walked along in silence for a while holding hands. “David, did you see any paths while meditating?”
“My mind is not settled. I couldn’t make myself go where I wanted to.”
“That’s understandable. A lot has happened lately. Mine’s not settled, either. Have you enjoyed your visit here today?”
“Very much. A good idea you had.”
“You had a house in Coventry, right?”
“My father’s house.”
“But it was yours. When was the last time you were there?”
“When I left school I went there for awhile before returning to Hong Kong.”
“What was it like?”
“A large old house with many unused rooms. I thought of selling it but it was the only thing I had of him.”
“Do you remember him at all?”
“Yes. He was a big man even to my young eyes. He had a big voice and was always moving, doing something. He had a workshop in back of the garden and made things. He made a garden seat for my mother.”
“How did they meet?”
“I don’t know. He was in Hong Kong for awhile, working. I suppose they met then. I never asked.”
“Why don’t we go there?”
“Coventry? I cannot claim the house again. It will be sold at auction. That is the way of property when one does not leave instructions. My affairs in Hong Kong were in order. Everything I had there will go to my mother but I had not included the house in Coventry.”
“Was that an oversight or did you think she might not want it?”
“She would have no use for it. She was never happy in England.”
“I imagine you were as a little boy before your father died. What happened to him?”
“Automobile accident. It was very sudden…he was gone from our lives.”
“I’d still like to see the house.”
“It is gone from my life.” He looked at her for a moment. “Why did you think of it?”
“I was just thinking of gardens earlier and somehow that floated into my mind. I told you it wasn’t settled,” she smiled. “Let’s stop for tea.”
“Are you tired? I forgot about your ankle.”
“No, I’m just thirsty.” She put her arm through his. Her ankle ached but it wasn’t important enough to break up the day.
They found a tea room and ordered some small sandwiches. “David, why didn’t you stay in England?”
He looked up at her. “There was nothing there for me. I did not belong there.”
“You must have made some friends while in school.”
“Ali went back to Saudi Arabia to be married at his father’s request. The group of friends that we shared drifted apart.”
“And you went to Coventry and decided you didn’t belong there, the place where you lived as a little boy?”
“Yes.”
“What I’m getting at, David, is that neither of us belong anywhere right now. I can’t go back to my hometown. There’s nothing left there anyway…only a few scattered cousins I haven’t seen since I was a teenager. I’ve been living out of a suitcase for five years. I have no home base. You don’t either now…so I was thinking since we’ve got British passports we might go to England. We don’t have to go to Coventry but find a place that we both like. You might think about giving it another chance because if we stop in another country questions will have to be answered, paperwork and on and on. Things may come up we can’t answer. We were both born in England and grew up in different places but deep down in our bones…we’re English.”
He looked across the room for a moment. “I did not feel English when I lived there.”
“No, and you’ll always have that connection inside of you for China. That part of you is strong. I don’t feel English, either. In my mind I’m an American or at least I was in my former life. We’ve got to start thinking ahead and stop looking back. It’s easier for me and I know this isn’t going to be easy for you, love, but I’ll help you.”
“You look at me and you think you see an Englishman, but I am not. I think you do not understand this. You will never find me down on the corner having fish and chips or in the pub having a pint. I lived there for eight years and I was a foreigner.”
“So…let’s go be foreigner’s together. I don’t particularly care for fish and chips myself. I’ve tried them in London, too greasy for me. We’ll buy a wok.”
He laughed and it pleased her to see him laugh. He so rarely laughed out loud.
“Can you cook in a wok?”
“I can’t cook in anything,” she laughed back, “but I could learn or better yet find a Chinese cook.”
The mood lightened after their tea break and they did a little more walking before going back to the apartment. Dinner was, as usual, ordered in. They watched the lights come on over the cityscape from the sofa, she lying in his arms.
“It’s almost like painting, isn’t it, a little red here, a little blue there. Look there, a touch of hot pink.”
“I used to paint.”
“Why used to? Why don’t you still paint?”
“It’s been a long time since I picked up a brush and now, of course, I have no brushes.”
“Who painted that portrait of you that you had in your house?”
“Ali. I painted one of him, too, which he has in his private office.”
She turned slightly in his arms and he kissed her, a kiss that went on for a long time and whatever she might have been going to say was long forgotten as her body responded to his touch.
The painted cityscape slowly began to fade away as dawn approached. Blaine sat on the sofa smoking a cigarette, wrapped in his dark blue silk robe. After making love to Charlie he’d lain awake and finally got up after she’d gone to sleep, and watched the lights, thinking of his future. It would have to be in England for awhile anyway. They couldn’t stay in Japan indefinitely without proper papers.
Why an English passport? He closed his eyes. Ali had wanted him to go there, but why? His life in England had only been made bearable because Ali had been with him.
Part 4
They were in London staying at a hotel. They’d been there for a week and had bought cell phones and laptops, a few clothes and a small car. It wasn’t practical in London but it did allow them to travel outside the city, which they did almost daily, looking at property.
So far nothing had appealed to Blaine. He had an eye for architecture, a good eye, Charlie thought, often noticing things she didn’t. He didn’t go for Victorian ornateness, Edwardian squareness, or modern attempts at pseudo cottages. Charlie was beginning to suspect he wasn’t going to find anything that suited him because he really didn’t want to be there in the first place.
“David, maybe we should look at leasing a place for awhile instead of purchasing property. That way if you don’t like it we aren’t tied into it; we can always leave.” She was sitting at his feet in front of the loveseat in their suite. It was Sunday morning and a tray of tea things, remains of boiled eggs and toast covered the coffee table. They were going through the Sunday papers.
“Have you found something?” He looked over the fold of paper, her head in his hands.
“Just looking…a few possibilities worth checking out.”
Blaine was weary of properties and longed to go home, the home he could never enter again. He was trying for her sake but so far he’d felt uncomfortable in every house they’d looked at.
“Here’s a sublet with a number to call. Sounds promising.” She reached for her phone on the littered coffee table.
Two hours later they entered through the gates of a sizable property. The house itself, built in the 30’s, was unlike anything they’d looked at before. It was linear, white stucco with long rounded balconies that ran the length of one side of the house on two levels. Modern from a different age.
“It’s awfully big,” she said as they got out of the car.
“It’s private.” He looked around the grounds. A tall hedge ran the length of the black wrought iron fence obscuring it from the view of the house, mature trees, shrubbery and roses cascading over arches to the gardens beyond.
The owner of the property was there to greet them. His tenant, an American filmmaker, had been forced to leave due to his schedule and rather than force the lease Mr. Abrams decided to sublet. He was very happy to see the young couple and took them on a tour of the house and grounds.
David had been quiet during the tour, leaving the conversation to Charlie. He wanted to absorb the place and see if it fit inside of him. Charlie took his arm, bringing his attention to her. “Yes?”
“There’s four months left on the lease. If after that time we still want to stay here we have to sign a three year lease. So…four months. What do you think?”
He blinked and looked at Mr. Abrams. “I think, yes. It is a good place.”
Charlie closed her eyes and sent up a little thank you. She wrote out a check for the four months’ rent and handed it to Mr. Abrams. He assured them the proper paperwork would be waiting at his office the next morning for them to sign. He left, locking the house, but allowed them to stay on the grounds for as long as they wished.
“It’s done,” she said. “We have a place to live.”
“Did you notice the fish pond?”
“Yes,” she smiled and walked with him to the back garden. There was indeed a fish pond but sadly no fish.
“I will buy koi.” He knelt down, unmindful of the damp grass along the edge of the pond. “It will have to be cleaned out and prepared.”
Something for him to do, something to spark the life in him again. “I’ll leave that to you. I know nothing about fish ponds except I will enjoy it when it’s stocked.” She placed a hand on his tousled head. “I’m glad we finally found something you liked.”
“Do you like it?” He stood up, brushing at his knees. “It’s not all about me.”
“Yes, I can be happy anywhere with you. You should know that by now.” She took his hand and they walked the back garden. He stopped under an arch and pulled her against him.
“Thank you.” He kissed her.
As he held her against him she thought she could feel an electric energy coming from him, something she hadn’t felt since they left Hong Kong. He was right. This was a good place.
“It’s a lot of house for the two of us, five bedrooms, two kitchens, but it has a nice library, lots of books and the indoor pool. Not quite the same as Hong Kong but with the weather here it will be practical.”
“And you,” he touched the tip of her nose with a finger, “are the practical one.”
She looked around the back garden. “I wonder how private this place really is?” His energy was beginning to vibrate inside her.
He read her instantly. “Here? Now?”
“I don’t know…it seems right…crazy, I guess…but…” She looked into his eyes.
“He did not lock the garden room. There is not much room inside but until we know this garden perhaps…?”
“Yes…the potting shed.” He led her inside, her fingers trembling, fumbling with his belt buckle. The desire was strong in both of them. Their encounters since Hong Kong had been tender, sweet, but this was something else. This was hot; this was now.
Emerging later from the potting shed, covered in dirt and cobwebs, they leaned into each other. Holding around his waist she giggled, “We’re filthy. Hope nobody else gets on the elevator with us at the hotel.”
“One look and I think they will not.” He grinned and kissed her forehead.
They signed the papers on Monday and collected the keys. Three days later they were moved in. The house came completely furnished, period furniture bought when the house was built, some pieces specifically designed for it.
“This must have been something in its heyday,” she remarked in the marble floored entryway.
“It is a good place, a place of happiness.” He glanced at her and moved into the front reception room.
She followed, eyeing him. “Do you feel good vibes coming from the walls?”
“I don’t know vibes but I can live here.” He moved around the room, touching things, a piece of sculpture here, a vase there, a fringed pillow on the matching sofa. “Everything has been especially chosen for its place. It all fits together.”
“I’m sure they had a designer, maybe even the one who designed the house. Who designed your house in Hong Kong?”
“I don’t know his name but it was an empty shell, a house only. I spent much time finding what needed to be there.”
“You have a good eye. You should do something with that talent. I’m going to make tea, first cup in our new home.” She smiled, gave him a kiss on the cheek, picked up the bag of groceries they’d brought and went back to find the kitchen.
He spent his days working on the fish pond, cleaning out years of muck and debris. Covered in the same he would come in to the pool room, strip and shower and then plunge into the water and swim for a while. Charlie was restless, wasn’t used to sitting around, and housework wasn’t enough. David was neat and clean and left little disturbed behind him. Her own habits were improving since she had to clean up after herself.
She bought cook books and tried her hand in the kitchen. It was edible but she realized she didn’t have the knack or the desire to learn and talked to David about hiring someone to cook for them. He left it to her. With his needs in mind she drove the 20 kilometers into London to meet with a representative of the agency for hiring domestic help. What she had in mind was a 'Kim' like he’d had in Hong Kong. Such a person was not to be found within the agency. She kept leaning toward a man simply because she thought David would be more comfortable with a man in the house. His habit of walking around with a towel around his waist in the afternoon might wear on a woman’s sensibilities. It would hers, she thought. Someone to cook, look after his clothes and do light housework. She would handle her own clothes and clean up after herself. And so she hired Billy Wright, 45 years old with years in service. Prior to that he’d been in the military.
Billy arrived on a rainy afternoon and Charlie took him into the library where David was rearranging the books to his liking.
“Billy, just Billy,” he replied when introduced to Blaine. He was a tall, dark-haired man with graying temples and a small mustache.
“Blaine, just Blaine.” David smiled and shook his hand.
Charlie took him around the house and showed him his quarters. All was most satisfactory. He went over the main kitchen, delighted with what he had to work with, however the pantry was lacking and did she have an account at the local market?
Charlie took him to the local market and set up an account where he could purchase what he needed. As for the butcher and baker, she had an allowance set aside, cash in a biscuit tin on the shelf in the kitchen. The second kitchen, a small affair on the second level of the house, became his for his use. Making tea and the like, he said.
He was a jovial fellow, quite easy to get along with, fastidious and a little over-fussy, she thought, with order. He rearranged the kitchen to suit to such a degree she had a hard time even making a cup of coffee. Not to worry, he would take care of the coffee making, which left her with nothing at all to do.
Three days of rain and David nearly had all the books put back on the shelves in the library. Charlie was lounging from one chair to another, not allowed to help him. “Are you bored, my darling?” he asked her.
“Yes, in a word. I’m thinking I might look for some sort of job. Obviously I wasn’t schooled to be a government agent. I do have some talents to fall back on.”
“What will you do?”
“I was at one time a paralegal, worked in a lawyer’s office. Maybe I can get a job working for a solicitor or a barrister. You don’t mind, do you?”
“If it makes you happy to go out and work, no, I do not mind.”
“What about you? Once the fish pond is done and the books put away…what will you do?”
He slid a handful of books onto the shelf. “Whatever I wish. I do not feel the need to seek employment.”
“I guess financially neither of us does but I need something to occupy my time.”
“I am not an occupation then?” he grinned, picking up a few more books.
“You’re a piece of work, one I’m still trying to define.” She sat up straight in the chair.
“Why must I be defined, catalogued like some strange insect, list of habits, what does he eat, when does he drink, when is he at rest…?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.…”
“What will you do when the investigation is complete and I’m laid out before you pinned to a card?”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do. I just want to understand you…better.”
“I think you understand me quite well. I’m not that complicated, Charlie.”
She looked at him a moment, the graceful way he moved from the library table to the bookshelves. He reminded her of a dancer. Not complicated? She sighed, “What do you think of Billy? Is he going to work for you?”
“Yes, I think so.”
She looked out as the wind drove the rain down the window panes. “I wanted to hire a man. I thought you’d be more comfortable.”
He glanced at her and said nothing.
“I’m glad he’s working out. I tried to find someone like Kim but.…”
“There is no one like Kim. He is not part of my life any more.”
“You’ve finally…really left it behind you, haven’t you?”
“I cannot walk backwards. I can only go forward. David Blaine is dead.”
Part 5
Charlie found a part time job in a London borough. She worked from 8 until noon and with the hour commute she was away from home five hours a day unless she stopped off at a book store or wandered through the shops. It was light work in a solicitor’s office but it was something she could do and maybe it might lead to more serious assignments.
Once the weather cleared David finished his fish pond and bought the koi he wanted. He was content at the house, leaving a few times a week for a walk around the neighborhood. He’d been into the village with Billy to have his nails done. Work on the pond had made a mess of his hands and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about them. Billy had suggested the salon. He had his hair trimmed while he was there, just a little off. He’d let it grow since he left Hong Kong and it brushed over the back of his collar. When the hairdresser turned him toward the mirror he recognized the man in the chair, his hair falling softly around his face and curling about his neck. He stared at himself until the woman made a sound and he quietly got up and left.
They were into their fourth month in the house and had signed the three year lease Mr. Abrams had asked for. David was settled, was home and he called Ali to let him know where he was.
“Blaine, my dear, I’ve been waiting for your call.”
“Ali, I wanted to wait until I was sure. I’m in England just outside of London. We found a house and have made it a home.”
“You are well, then. I have worried many nights over you. I knew you had left Tokyo and hoped you went to England.”
“There was not anywhere else for us to go. Did you plan this?”
“Me…yes, I must confess that I did but it has worked out for you.”
“Yes. Charlie has taken a job in London.”
“She doesn’t need to work. I made sure of that.”
“She needs to for herself not for the money.”
“What do you do all day?”
“I work in the garden, I read, I swim, and Billy is here.”
“Billy?”
“Yes, the houseman. We needed someone to help.”
“Of course…I was going to call you. I will be in London for a few days. If you keep up with the news you are aware of what is going on here.”
“I am so sorry for you. Will I see you?”
“I will make sure of it. Now that I have your phone number saved I can call.”
“I apologize, Ali, but I had to…had to find myself here.”
“I understand you, my dear. I’ll let you know the arrangements.”
He lay his phone down on the table, stripped and dove into the pool, swimming strong laps from one end to the other. When he finally rolled over on his back it was to see Billy standing by the table with a stack of towels. He ducked under and swam to the side. “Why don’t you come in?”
“No…no, but I like to watch you swim,” he answered with a slight smile.
David heaved himself out of the pool and reached for a towel.
“Please, allow me.” And Blaine allowed him to dry his body. He stood up, rolled a cigarette and later walked out of the pool room with a towel around his waist.
Charlie came in the front door, dropped her bag and the car keys on the hall table and walked through to the kitchen as Blaine entered from the pool room. “Is that what you do all day?” she smiled and then stopped, seeing Billy behind him with Blaine’s clothes over his arm. She turned and busied herself with the tea kettle.
Blaine came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. “Do you really need that tea…now?”
“I think I might.”
“Come upstairs with me,” he said against her ear.
She turned in his arms, feeling his erection against her pelvis. “What were you doing just now?”
“Swimming…waiting for you.” He kissed her and her arms went around his waist, pulling him into her.
She put her thoughts aside and went upstairs with him.
The dwindling light of the day cast shadows over the bed where they lay. Charlie spooned against him, picked up his hand from her breast and kissed it. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you. Do not ever doubt that.” He tasted her neck.
“Billy is gay.”
“Yes, I know. That has nothing to do with us.”
“Why…why would you be naked in front of him?”
“It gives him pleasure.”
“And you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you attracted to him?”
“He is attracted to me.”
“That’s not what I asked…is it?” She turned, brushing his hair from his eyes. “I asked you once…”
“Do not ask again.” He silenced her with his lips.
But her mind would not be silenced and later that night she tossed and turned in the bed while he slept peacefully at her side. She had once wondered what removing the bindings from him would bring and now she knew. All those years he’d spent with Ali, denying what he was must have been torture for him. Was it to be torture for her now? She’d told him it didn’t matter and now faced with it, she somehow felt diminished. She couldn’t give him everything he needed. There was no doubt in her mind that he needed her for he did in every way let that truth be known.
After making her calls to the office to apologize for not coming in and getting a razzing from her boss she went to find David.
“Did you call?” he asked from the lounge chair where he sat in the garden, sketching.
“Yes, I made the call. They’re not happy with me. Being so low on the totem pole I get no leeway so a day off in the middle of the week without pay is the worst they could do to me. What are you drawing?”
She walked over and stood behind his chair. “I didn’t know you’d begun to draw again.”
“It passes the time. Sit and I’ll add you.” He indicated where he wanted her to sit on a low bricked wall by a flower bed.
“Did you put these in?” she turned, looking at the colorful flowers, touching a petal.
“Billy and I did.”
“I feel like I’m missing out, missing so much.” She leaned her head on her knees .
“Hold your head up. But you were not happy here.”
“I am happy here. There’s just not enough to occupy my time. I don’t draw, I don’t paint, and you can only swim and read so much. I’m not very good with idleness.”
“I know you are restless. What is it you want to do, Charlie?”
“Well, that’s just it. I don’t have an answer for that. It’s been nearly five months. I’ve never sat around for so long in one place since I was a kid. I’ve been a wanderer, a vagabond carrying my life around in a suitcase.”
“Afraid, afraid to stop long enough to become attached to a place…or a person.”
“Me, afraid? It just wasn’t…I never seemed to…afraid. I never thought of it that way. Maybe I have been.”
“I think you still are.” He studied her for a bit and began sketching again.
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“Then why do you keep trying to analyze me? It keeps you apart, away from me like a scientist with a new specimen. I love you as you are, your restless spirit like a caged bird.” He was looking down at his sketch book ,filling in a space. “I am afraid, too, afraid I cannot hold you much longer.”
“I would never leave you. I accept you as you are and love you all the more for it…for being honest with me. I spent most of the night coming to terms with you and I have. It doesn’t matter to me because I know I have a part of you that no one else can have.”
“You have more of me than you know.” He looked up as Billy approached with his cell phone. “Yes?”
“It stopped ringing before I could get here.” Billy handed him the phone.
David looked at the missed call and excused himself, walking to the fish pond. Billy went back to the house and Charlie picked up his sketch book, flipping through the pages.
He was an artist, she thought, noting the detail he put into his drawings. The pages were filled with parts of faces, Billy’s and some of Ali, a hand here a shoulder there, body parts except for her. He’d drawn her several times, once while sleeping, one reading in a chair in the library. Was she whole to him? She placed his book back in his chair and went back to the wall and sat down, holding her head in her hands. Afraid…what was she afraid of? She looked up as he walked back.
“That was Ali. He is in London and has arranged for me to see him tonight.”
She went to work the next morning; he hadn’t come home. She left the office at noon, walked across the street and caught the tube, finding herself walking along a street she knew very well. She stopped and looked up at the nondescript building. She’d been in it many times, picking up assignments, turning in reports. What if she were to walk through the doors and take the lift to the sixth floor…?
David called her office and was told she left at noon but her car was still in the car park across the street. He had the driver drop him there. She had the keys with her and so he rolled a cigarette and leaned against the car to wait for her.
She emerged from the tube station and walked with her head down toward the car park. Looking up, she stopped and walked slowly toward him.
“How long have you been here?”
“Three cigarettes….” He held her eyes.
She could smell his scent, the same one he wore in Hong Kong…Ali. “I went into the city.”
“I should have called you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I am sorry. Are you all right?”
A flash in the sunlight, he was wearing a jeweled ring…Ali. “No…yes, I’m fine.”
“May we go home or would you like to go somewhere?”
She felt it welling up inside of her. “I….David.” He took her in his arms. The scent was intoxicating.
“I will take you home.”
“I don’t want to be like this,” she said into his chest, clinging to the lapels of his jacket.
“Please, you have the keys.”
She pulled away, digging into her shoulder bag and handed him the keys. “I’m sorry I....”
“No, you have nothing to be sorry about.” He opened her car door.
He pulled out of the car park and reached in his jacket. “Ali sends his regards.” He handed her a velvet box.
Charlie stared at the box for a moment and opened it, a sapphire and diamond bracelet. She wanted to fling it out the window but quietly said, “Tell him thank you for me.” She recognized it now, what had been inside of her all day long, anger, but where to spend it…?
Part 6
That afternoon they watched the celebrations on TV. Hong Kong no longer belonged to the British. Blaine watched while sipping a drink, stretched out on the sofa in the TV room. Charlie chose a chair, curled up with her drink. “It’s a big celebration. I hope they continue to find cause to celebrate.”
“I do not believe their lives will be much changed.”
“Do you wish you were there partying with the rest?”
“I would wish to be there for this occasion but my life is here now and I cannot go back.”
Charlie looked down into her drink. He’d brought her home and wanted to take her to bed and for the first time since she’d known him she had refused. Not that she didn’t want him; she would always want him, but she was so confused in her mind it wasn’t a good time. He hadn’t talked about his night with Ali and she didn’t want to hear about it anyway but he had apologized for not calling her that morning. She tried to identify her feelings, jealousy, anger, none of them good. It would serve no purpose for her to feel those things. Her anger was not directed at him but at herself. What gave her the right to believe he belonged to her and her alone? He’d been totally honest with her but she had not been honest with herself.
“Where are you, Charlie?” He’d been watching her for awhile.
“I’m here,” she smiled and took a drink from her glass.
“You are too far away. Come and lie with me.”
“Is there room?”
“Yes.”
She settled beside him and he put his arm around her and hugged her. “I do not love you less.”
“I’m sorry I acted the way I did.”
“I’ve hurt you.”
“No, no, you haven’t. I fell on my own knife. You smell so good.” She buried her face in his chest.
“It is my scent, one Ali had made up for me in Paris a long time ago.”
“I think I’ve heard of that. They mix scents with your body chemistry until the perfect one emerges.”
“I will take you there and have one made for you. You should have your own scent although your natural scent is intoxicating enough to me.”
“Is it…really?”
“I told you yesterday that you have more of me than you know, but you don’t believe me, do you?”
“I don’t know what I believe anymore. You were right about one thing. I am afraid.”
“Do not be afraid, please.” He kissed her and made love to her on the sofa.
Life fell back to normal. She went to work and came home, spending her evenings in his company. Billy was discreetly attentive to both of them. She could find no fault with him and actually liked him. Some times he would tell her stories about his travels in the military where he was a cook. She laughed with him and thought theirs was an easy companionship. Whatever he had with David had not surfaced in her presence.
More and more she disliked her job, realizing it was a dead end. She finally put in her notice one day and was told she didn’t have to work out the two weeks and so she left and went home. She came into the house and hearing music playing somewhere, she walked through, following it to the pool room. David was standing by a table with a large towel around his shoulders. She walked up to him and stopped, her face flushed hot. She hadn’t noticed Billy on his knees in front of him.
Blaine grabbed her arm and held her to him. Billy stood up and embraced both of them. She stood there woodenly in their embrace for a minute and, making a sound in her throat, she pulled away and ran though the house, up the stairs to their bedroom. Blaine wasn’t far behind her.
“Charlie…”
“Please, don’t say anything…” She held onto the draperies at the window.
He didn’t say anything but he did take her in his arms. His face wet with tears, he held her against him.
She didn’t realize she was crying, too, when she looked up at him. “I…I can’t do this, David…I can’t.”
“I won’t ask you to. He will leave today.”
“No, no…no!” she pulled away from him. Walking around the bed she stopped, looking at the open closet door, and it came to her what she must do.
“I’m going back to work…not the job I had. I quit that today. I’ve missed it. There should be no problem getting around the fact I was dead. I’m not leaving you, not really. I’ll be back when I can. I’ll only take a few things and leave the rest.”
“Charlie, you’re not thinking straight.”
“Yes, yes, David, I am.” She wiped her face with her hands and turned to him. “I love you and I’ve never loved anyone before I met you, but I can’t do this.” She swallowed, “I’ll be back when I get some time. David…don’t.…”
He was weeping. Not bothering to wipe the tears from his face, he came around the bed and held her. “Don’t go. Please do not leave me.”
“I have to for both of us. I have to. Maybe we can meet up somewhere, you know Paris or something. I’ll be everywhere.”
“No…Charlie.” he kissed her and she held him, running her hand up through his damp hair.
“You’ll be all right. Billy will take care of you until I return. And I will…return. I’ll have a word with him and make sure he understands.” She had never seen him like this, totally shaken and crying. “I love you no less,” she said against his lips and kissed him softly.
She came down the stairs alone, carrying a black leather duffle bag. Billy was standing straight, if not a little uncertainly, in the hallway.
“Charlie, I want to apologize for my behavior and assure you.…”
“There’s no need,” she waved away his apology. “I’m not leaving him. I’m going back to work, the work I did before we ever came here. He knows this but right now he’s upset. I’m past upset. I need to get away for awhile and put it all in perspective. I don’t fault you, Billy. He’s that easy to love, I know. If you would call me a taxi, please? I’m leaving him the car.”
“Where are you going, if I may ask?”
“Right now into London and from there I don’t know until I get an assignment. I’ll call and keep in touch with you.” She dug in her bag and came up with her wallet and pulled out an embossed card. “I’m going to leave this with you. If ever he needs anything or gets in trouble, anything where you need help with him, please call this number. This is Ali…you know of him?”
“Yes, he’s told me some about him.”
“Well,” she bit her lip, “about the taxi?”
“Oh, yes.” Billy left for the phone.
Charlie checked her watch. There was plenty of time yet to reach the office building before the day was over. She paced back and forth, impatient to get away and afraid…so afraid.
“Charlie!” He’d put on a pair of boxer shorts and was coming down the stairs.
Oh, no…taxi….where are you. “David, darling….”
“I cannot let you do this. Please, all we’ve been through together, you can’t walk away….”
“I’m not. I said I would be back and I will. I have a home to come to now. You know how restless I’ve been, well, this is what I needed to do, to go back to work. I’ll stay in touch with you, call you daily…I promise.”
“There will be no more of this. I can promise you that.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Be who you are. That’s who I love and I do love you. Don’t ever forget that.” She heard the taxi’s horn and kissed him good bye, her hand lingering for a moment on his cheek.
“I don’t know who I am,” he said under his breath as the door closed, “not anymore.”
“Come on then, Love.” Billy put his arm around him. “We’ll have a cuppa and put it all right.”
Charlie hoisted the bag on her shoulder, entered the elevator and got off on the sixth floor. Boxes littered the hallways, files from Hong Kong she figured. She heard a familiar booming voice coming from an office and peeked around the corner.
Cramer stopped mid-sentence and stared at her a moment.
“Permission to enter,” she said, giving him a look.
“Where the bloody hell have you been? We thought you were dead!”
The secretary gathered his papers and left, glancing at her as he passed.
“Well, the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. As you see, I live and breathe.”
“You didn’t answer my question, Charlie. Where the bloody hell…?”
She put her bag down on the floor and pulled out a chair. “Down a thousand paths but I came back. Do I still have a job?”
ON TO NO WAVE WITHOUT WIND
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