By Atonia Walpole
Part 1 of Winter (Biebe)
It was the repetitious sound that woke her, sleesh, scrape, frump, sleesh, scrape frump. The light coming from her windows was bright and she stepped out of her bed over to the French doors. The sun was bright this morning over the snow covered landscape. There’s that sound again. What is it? She opened her bedroom door and walked out on the landing, peering out the window overlooking the front yard. Someone was out there shoveling the walk. She ran back in her bathroom, cleaned her teeth, washed her face and brushed out her long auburn hair. Digging through her drawers she pulled out a pair of khaki corduroy jeans, cream turtleneck knit shirt and a dark brown pattered sweater. Warm socks and her suede booties and she was dressed for the day. Now to see who is shoveling the walk, she smiled as she ran down the stairs to the front door.
She found she was excited this morning and hesitated before opening the door. A cup of coffee in her hands and she wouldn’t appear so eager. She ran into the kitchen and filled her cup, adding sugar and cream. By the time she opened the door he had most of the walk cleared and he stopped, turned and smiled.
“Good morning, Toni, I hope that’s for me.” His face was flushed from shoveling snow and his eyes sparkled.
“You bet it is! Good morning to you, John Biebe.” He had a black knit hat pulled low over his forehead and a plaid quilted jacket unbuttoned showing a sweater and tee shirt underneath. He wore jeans and suede boots. A shyness came over her and she couldn’t think of a thing to say to him.
“Um…your coffee?” She held out the cup
“One more shovel full,” sleesh, scrape frump. He parked the shovel in the snow and came up on the porch, stamping the snow from his boots. He pulled off his gloves and stuffed them in the pocket of his jacket. “Now…hi,” he stooped and gave her a soft cold kiss on the lips and took the cup from her hand.
Toni recovered herself quickly and pushed the door open. “Come in, you’re freezing.” She followed him in and he removed his jacket, hanging it on a hook on the back of the door. Toni knew that hook had not been there when she opened the door. He walked over to the fire to warm himself, looking around the room as he went.
“It’s changed. I like it,”
“The house…you’ve been here before then?”
He gave her a sheepish grin, “Yeah, but it’s been a long time. You knew I was coming, didn’t you?”
“I think I figured it out last night when the house let me into your room. There’s been lots of banging around in there for the last two days. I’m glad you’ve come.” She loved his voice, so soft and deep and satisfying.
He squatted down to pet the cat, “You must be Millie.” Millie arched her back under his caresses and purred.
“Would…would you like breakfast? I just got up and dressed, haven’t even had a cup of coffee yet.”
“I’d love breakfast, but get your coffee and come join me for a minute.”
Toni ran into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee, nearly spilling it down her sweater. She wiped up the drops from the floor. 'Slow down you silly goose. You’re acting like a teenager.'
He had removed his hat and moved to the sofa. “Come and sit down, let me get a good look at you. Mmm hmm, you have green eyes. I thought they might be brown from the description.”
“You had a description of me?”
“Sort of. I like to see things for myself. You’re beautiful, you know?”
Toni felt the flush start in her neck and dipped her head, taking a sip of her coffee. “Thank you, John.”
“Not many women would say that, Toni…a simple thanks.”
“When somebody hands me a compliment I at least can have the grace to accept it”
He smiled and tilted his head, brushing his hair back behind his ear. “You and I are going to get along good. We get to spend the holidays together, you know.”
“Ah, no, I really don’t know. I mean Andy…my guide, was only here for a week. How long will you be here?” She really didn’t want to think about him leaving at all.
“Andy was here a week? Hmm, a guide is only supposed to be here for a couple of days. You must have kept him captive or he was captivated,” he grinned. “I’ll be here for the winter, four months, unless you get tired of me and kick me out.”
“Four months? You’re the winter season, then. I’m slowly catching on to what happens here.”
“I’m your winter season. Now ... how about that breakfast? I worked up an appetite shoveling your walk.”
Toni jumped up from the sofa and went into the kitchen to cook him an enormous breakfast of ham and eggs, hash browns and toast. She was so nervous she could hardly eat. What was it about him that made her feel like this? He was quiet, calm and easy going and carried the conversation when she faltered. He was explaining something about how hockey sticks were made but she was lost in his eyes. It would be quite easy to fall in love with this man and she only had him for four months. 'Help me out here house.'
“You haven’t heard a word I said, have you?” he grinned across the table at Toni.
“Oh, I have…well,” she laughed," I certainly listened to your voice but I couldn’t tell you a thing about hockey sticks.”
“I’m sorry. I can be a bore sometimes. I’ve never been much of ladies man, whatever it is they talk about. You might as well know I’m hockey mad and if there’s a game on TV you’ll find me in front of it. I was kind of surprised to…I mean, I’m kind of low key and not much in the romance department.” He dipped his head, hair falling across his cheek.
Toni was a little surprised herself. “Romance department? I think you are a lot of things, John, decent, hardworking, caring, loving and strong, not just physically but inside. You’re also extremely handsome and sexy.” Aw jeez, I have embarrassed him? He’s blushing.
“Thanks, Toni, I’m trying for a bit of grace here. Can I help you clear the table? Oh, well then, I think I’ll go check out my room. Thanks for breakfast. I’ll see you in a little while.” He stood and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
She watched him walk down the hallway to the stairs. Not much in the romance department? God, he already has me and we’ve hardly touched.
Toni loaded the dishwasher and set out the ingredients for vegetable beef soup. She wondered at her ability to concoct meals from scratch. It seemed since she arrived her mind had been in the kitchen. At thirty years old she knew how to put a meal together but never took the time to really learn and get a feel for it. Now it came to her naturally.
She set the soup pot on the back of the stove to simmer and began to wonder about John. He hadn’t been back down. She heard the TV blasting when she reached the stairs and ran up, pushing his door open. He was standing in front of his TV with the remote, frantically pushing buttons. He turned to her with a look of ‘help’ on his face.
Toni took the remote and hit mute. “What were you trying to do, John?”
“I have a new TV and was trying to see what was on. Somehow I hit the volume button and couldn’t find it again. This is all new. I’ve never seen a TV like this before.”
“It’s a flat screen, John. I have one like it in my room.” She explained the remote and handed it back to him. “Is there something you wanted to watch?”
“Ahmm, no, I was just playing with it. What would you like to do? This isn’t about me anyway.”
His room smelled like bottled scent and sent little shivers down her spine. “Well, I haven’t been out in the snow. Maybe a walk? And, John, it is about you, too.” She saw the surprised look in his eyes. “At least I want it to be.” Now I've embarrassed myself. How do I know what he wants? Maybe he didn’t want to come here? She watched the emotions play across his face and turned to leave, but he caught her hand.
He pulled her close, saying, "Bundle up good. It’s cold outside.” John thought about kissing her. Her lips looked so soft and sweet but he let the moment pass and only looked into her eyes. He would have to be careful here. She was very vulnerable. He tugged a strand of hair that had caught in her eyelashes. He thought he might have to watch himself, too. Her hand felt so small in his. He wanted to get to know her better.
Toni longed for that kiss he almost gave. She saw the desire in his eyes, could read him like a book. He held nothing back. It all played out in his eyes.
Part 2:
“Careful here, there’s ice on the step!” John held her hand as she stepped carefully off the back porch. They trudged off in the snow toward a line of cedar trees. “There used to be a pond back here somewhere,” he said.
“How long has it been since you were here?”
“About seven or eight years, I guess. I’ve only been here twice.”
“This is the first time I’ve come and I didn’t know about the, um, magic associated with the place. I just wanted somewhere I could write with out distraction. That may have gone by the wayside,” she added, giving him a side glance.
“What do you write about?”
“Fiction, romantic fiction mostly, some historical stuff. I’m trying to write a novel.”
“Have you written since you’ve been here?” She nodded. “No reason you shouldn’t continue. I’ll stay out of your way.”
No, I want you in my way, she thought.
They had reached the tree line and he took her hand. “Right through here, I think.” He led her through a break in the trees to a large frozen pond. “Do you skate?”
“Um, well, not since I was in high school. I could probably use a lesson or two.”
“I think we can do that. We’ll come back with skates the next time.” He looked out over the pond, gauging the surface. It would be smooth. He could almost hear the sound of skates on ice.
“Do you still play in the Saturday game?” He turned to her and she saw the answer in his eyes.
“No…not in the Saturday game anymore. I play around with the team, substituting sometimes. I took a fall and messed my knee up. I can still play but couldn’t last the whole game anymore.”
She moved closer to him. “I’m sorry. I know that meant a lot to you.”
“Things change,” he looked down and scuffed the snow with his boot turned his head slightly to her and smiled. “Let’s walk.”
They rounded the pond and went down the hill a ways. “Oh, look, Christmas trees!” Toni breathed in the smell. She loved the scent of Christmas and crushed the balsam fir needles in her hand.
“We’ll come back and pick one out. What do you think, long and skinny or short and fat?” He moved through the trees.
“Something in between, I think.” She wandered down a row of trees and turned, looking for John and didn’t see him. Following her tracks back to where he’d left her, she turned again, feeling a mild panic set in. “John, where are you?”
He came up behind her. “Right here. I had to take a piss. Did you miss me?” His eyes held a teasing look.
Toni narrowed her eyes. “Gave me a fright, you did. I thought you’d left me.” She wanted to do something to him and found her hand gathering snow from a tree limb. It hit him on the shoulder and the look in his eyes told her she’d better run. She felt the snow splat in the middle of her back and stopped long enough to form a snowball. Tossing it at him she ran between the trees and grabbed another handful, waiting for him to appear. Snow rained down on her head and down her neck. “Ohoooo, that’s not fair!” He shook the tree behind her and ran down the row but she caught him in the back.
“You’ve got a mean right arm there, Toni!” he laughed, gathering snow in his gloved hands and then running after her. He caught her on the leg and she fell, laughing, on her face.
John ran up and knelt beside her, turning her over. “I’m sorry! Are you all right?” Then he saw the look in her eyes as snow was pushed down the back of his neck. “You are going to get it!”
What ever he had planned to do turned into something else as he fell on top of her, holding her dangerous hands. He looked into her eyes and slowly tasted her upper lip, tugging and moving to her bottom lip. His tongue ran over her teeth and he pulled back and with a low groan he took her mouth.
She was breathless feeling his weight on her body. His mouth left her weak and he took his time, making sure she had no bones left in her body by the time he rolled off of her. It was only a kiss, wasn’t it? My God! She turned her head he was lying on his back, staring at the sky with his lips slightly parted.
“One of us has to move or we’re going to freeze here,” she said breathlessly.
He turned his head to her and a lazy smile crossed his face, his eyes soft. “I guess that means me.” He got up and pulled her up against him, hugging her. “We’d better get back to the house and into some dry clothes.” He didn’t move immediately, liking the feel of her against him. He brushed the snow off her back as he held her with his left arm. Looking into her eyes ,he kissed her softly on the lips. “We have to move.”
“Yes, we do.” She didn’t move until he did. Oh, he had her but good. They didn’t speak for a while as they stomped through the snow. All kinds of thoughts were going through her mind. The quiet ones. He was quiet in his ways but, oh, what burned inside. She wanted that fire.
When they reached the back porch John stopped her and put his hands on her shoulders. Something was bothering him. She could see in his face.
“If you know me at all, Toni, you know I’m honest.” He looked away for a moment and then back. "Anything is possible here…you can fall in love, but after winter comes spring and I go back to Alaska. There’s no changing that. I can’t take you with me and I can’t stay. I just…want you to understand up front how it will end. I see you shaking your head but you know there is nothing I can do to change anything.”
She felt tears in her eyes. “I know…I don’t want to think about endings right now. This is only the beginning.”
“Yes…we just need to remember…” He took her face in his gloved hands and kissed her very softly on the lips.
“Something smells good, Toni. What are you cooking?”
“Soup.” She walked over to the stove, giving it a stir. “Sounds good after a romp in the snow, huh?”
“Yeah, it does.” He took off his snow-encrusted hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m for a hot shower and some dry clothes first…how about you?”
“That sounds good." She put the lid back on the pot and then realized what he'd asked. There was no shower in her bathroom. She turned to him. “You’re a lot bigger than me. You’ll hog all the hot water.”
“I promise to share.” He reached for her hand with a half smile on his face.
After they got through the embarrassing who takes off what first, he turned on the water and pulled her inside. Two very clean individuals emerged from the shower, drying each other off with the huge, white, fluffy bath sheets. John wrapped the towel around both of them and waltzed her over to his bed where he took his time with her.
She lay with her head on his shoulder, their wet hair tangled together beneath them, listening to the fire pop and crack and breathing in the scent of him and his room. It was his smell, not the bottle on the dresser, she realized. The bottle was only a hint. His strong arms tightened around her and he kissed the top of her head.
“I think I could eat some of that soup now.” He was hungry but didn’t want to move and break the spell and so he didn’t.
“Mmm, me too.” She felt like Millie must feel when she was stroked. She wanted to purr. “Too bad there’s no room service. One of us has to move, John.”
“Your turn.” He shifted to his side, laying his hand on her cheek. “That was great, Toni, and only the beginning.”
Toni finally made herself get up and go across the hall for some clothes. She put on her sweat pants and a long sleeved tee then went downstairs to fix their meal. Her hair was half dry and she pushed it behind her ears. John…a careful considerate and insistent lover, he made sure she was with him all the way. She smiled, thinking about the shower. He'd teased her unmercifully with his hands.
John came padding into the kitchen in his sock feet, pulling a sweatshirt over his head. He had on gray sweatpants and a glance from Toni told her there was nothing underneath. She liked that, total comfort. He was comfortable to be with now that her nervousness was gone. Must have left it in the shower!
“I’m a hungry man, Toni, feed me.” He sat down at the table, looking up expectantly.
She smiled and set a large bowl vegetable beef soup before him with home baked bread and butter. Amazing how the house could make bread.
John always offered to help clean up but never expected her to take him up on it. She didn’t mind at all and let him go to his recliner in the living room and play with the new remote.
Later she made a pot of coffee and called him down the hall, “John, want some coffee?” Getting no answer, she walked through the hall and found him asleep in the recliner with a football game on TV. She stood by the chair watching him sleep for a minute, went back got her own cup and took it upstairs to her computer room. He was satisfied sexually and food-wise and it made her feel good that she had something to do with his contentment.
Part 3:
John woke in the chair and blinked his eyes. The game was over and some after game talkfest was on. He felt around for the remote and found the off button. Toni. Oh, shit, I can’t believe I fell asleep! What a total waste you are, Biebe. She’s going to regret this and send you back, dumbass.” He climbed out of the chair and went looking for her, finding her in front of her computer typing away. Quietly he came in the room and sat down in the easy chair in the corner, watching her totally absorbed in her work.
Presently she sat back to read what she had written and stretched her arms. Becoming aware, she turned to see John sitting quietly with his legs crossed in the chair. He gave her a slow smile. “Hey, sweetie, have a nice nap?”
John looked embarrassed. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“Why not? There’s nothing wrong with a nap. I take one myself when I feel like it. Don’t feel bad. I’ve been quite busy here while you were snoozing.”
“Good. I feel like an idiot. Some companion I am.”
“John, you’re a man and I'm awfully glad you are here.”
“Well, stop your tapping away over there and come here, sit on my lap.”
Toni smiled and did as he asked. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. “What was that for?” she asked.
“That was for putting up with me.” He kissed her again.
“And that?”
“That was for me,” he said, looking into her eyes.
Toni kissed him softly then explored his mouth with her tongue. Her hand found his hair and she ran her fingers up the back of his head, holding him closer. “That was for me,” she said a little shakily.
“Um, I think that one was for me,” he smiled and ran his fingers through her hair hanging over her shoulder.
“Are we going to fight over it?” she asked lazily as he began to nuzzle her neck, his soft beard bringing her skin alive.
“No, we’re going to continue this conversation in your bed.” He picked her up and carried her though the door to her bedroom, depositing her in the middle of the bed. “Wanna fight?” he asked and then he took her mouth.
She felt his hand go under her tee shirt and work its slow way up to her breast, circling and touching her nipple until she rolled over against him. He pushed her back and made her endure a second assault on her other breast before pulling her shirt off and taking them with his teeth and his tongue. The feel of his silky hair and soft beard on her skin along with what he was doing to her caused her to arch up her back and call out his name. His lips found hers again and he moved his hand to her waist band.
The bed molded itself around the two lovers and the house seemed to sigh. The smell of rose and lavender scented the air of her bedroom and the fire began to burn in the fireplace. Scented candles appeared on the mantel, adding a soft glow to the room as darkness claimed the outside, and a box of dark gooey chocolates appeared on the bedside table. The stage was set for a night of love.
After breakfast Toni decided to tackle the turkey. She called on John to help her. Neither of them had any idea how to stuff a turkey but with the ingredients that appeared on the counter as she loaded the dishwasher, they managed. She prepared the vegetables and left them on the stove ready to go when the turkey came out. Ingredients for a pumpkin pie appeared on the center island. Toni looked them over and told the house she didn’t bake. Pastry was beyond her.
John took her snowmobiling and she saw a bit more of the property surrounding the house. A large field now under snow, pastureland, paddocks, it was quite extensive. Whatever your heart's desire is here ready to come alive with the right man. What would it be like in spring? She lay her head against John’s back and closed her eyes, not wanting to think about spring.
When they returned to the house it smelled of Thanksgiving dinner down to the pumpkin pie now baked and resting on the center island. Everything was cooked to perfection and John piled his plate. He did love to eat, observed Toni. Thank you, house, for everything and mostly for John.
John spent the afternoon in his recliner watching football games while Toni lay on the sofa and took a nap. When she woke up he was asleep in his chair and she smiled, thinking they were like an old married couple. Should I ever marry he will have to have a lot of John Biebe in him. She then thought of John’s wife Donna and wondered just how all this happens when he’s married. Somehow she would have to bring up the subject and find out. He was missing holidays with his family. She padded out to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. The pie looked awfully tempting and she cut a piece, eating it over the sink.
“Eating again,” John whispered into her hair as he slid his arms around her waist. Toni held the pie for him to take a bite. “Umph, s’good.”
“Well, get your own. This is mine,” she smiled and downed the last of it.
“I think I will and some of that coffee, too.”
She sat across the table from him as he ate his pie. “John, how does it work in Alaska when you come here? I mean you’re gone for quite a while.”
“Um, nothing…I mean when I go back it’s when I left, same time, same day. This is kind of like The Twilight Zone. Remember that show?”
“Yeah, we’re in the zone, huh?” She was glad it was this way, not wanting to take anything away from him. “Will you remember any of this when you get back?”
“No…why are you worrying about something like that?”
“I just didn’t want you to miss anything…at home, I mean.”
He stared at her a minute. “I don’t…it’s like two separate worlds, Toni.”
“I’m still learning, you know. This is all so strange to me.” She reached across the table and knocked a crumb from his beard. John grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers.
“Thanks for worrying about me.” He smiled and she saw the softness come in his eyes. He cares about me
The house was busy the next few days and seemed to do its work at night when Toni and John were wrapped up in quilts in his bed. Gone were autumn leaf wreath on the front door and the pumpkins. The candles and flowers in the living room were replaced with red roses and holly on the round table and holly and ivy across the mantel, large white candles burning among the holly leaves. The house took on a different smell of pine and nutmeg. A bowl of mixed nuts was added on the coffee table with a nutcracker. White lilies filled a vase in the hallway sending their scent to mix with the pine.
They fell into a rhythm, John and Toni. She would work during the afternoon and he practiced his hockey on the pond, or if the weather was bad he watched it on TV. Sometimes he would take his snowmobile out and ride. He liked to be outside and the cold didn’t seem to bother him like it did Toni.
“We have to find a tree,” she said over the breakfast table one morning.
“Did you see one you wanted?”
“No, I was too busy dodging snowballs. We’ll have to go back.”
“Let’s do it today. I’ll get a saw from the tool shed”
After discussing the merits of trees, they finally decided on one and John cut it down, dragging it to the house. When they came through the back door Russian Tea was simmering on the stove and a plate of gingerbread cookies sat on the island. The house had provided a tree stand and moved the round table from the bay window as an indication where it should go. Ornaments were stacked in boxes on the floor.
They manhandled the tree through the front door and set it in the bay window.
“It’s perfect, John, just the right tree. You should trust me. I know Christmas trees.”
He stood back and looked at it. “You’re right. The one I wanted would have been too tall. Now can we have cookies and tea?”
“Of course. I just wanted to get it in the house. Come with me,” she took his hand and led him into the kitchen. They sat at the island and munched cookies, drinking the fragrant sweet tea.
“Are you going to work today?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“No. Is that the right answer? No, I’d really just like to spend it with you. We can decorate the tree this afternoon.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” Not exactly what he had in mind but if it made her happy…
The house couldn’t wait for them to finish with the tree. It was in such a jolly mood today. Clam chowder simmering on the stove now in the kitchen sent delicious smells wafting down the hallway. Christmas carols from some unseen speakers played softly in the background.
“The star is for you to put on the tree, John. I can’t reach it.” She handed him the golden star and he placed it on the tree, straightening a bit and stepping back.
“It looks good, Toni." He turned and smiled, slipping his arm around her waist. She leaned against his side, resting her head on his shoulder.
“This is special, John, very special to me to be here with you at Christmas. I’ll never forget it.” She turned in his arms, placing her arms around his neck.
He looked into her eyes, damning himself for his weakness. His eyes were wet, and he kissed her. In a real world he could have her but he didn’t live in a real world and that cut him to the heart as he held her tightly to his chest.
“John?”
“Shhh.” He blinked his eyes a few times and released her. “I smell chowder.”
Toni had steeled herself to keep her emotions under control but John was emotional and seeing his wet eyes did it for her. “We should go eat…nothing since breakfast…’sniff’”
“Yeah, a bowl of chowder should fix us right up. The tree’s up, nothing to keep us in here.”
“Okay, hungry John, let’s go eat.” She smiled up at him, wiped her eyes and led him by the hand into the kitchen where neither of them mentioned tears but talked about her skating lessons for tomorrow.
She lay wrapped in his strong arms, snuggled in his bed, thinking about the tears. John didn’t have to tell her he loved her. She knew. It had happened just as he said it could and there was nowhere for it to go. I can love him all I want for the time we have remaining and make him as happy as I can. This twilight zone is all we will ever have and I won’t waste a minute of it in tears. The time is too precious.
Part 4:
She was filled with anxiety as they approached the frozen pond. She had been sixteen the last time she was on ice skates and held no hope for success today. John tied her laces and took her hand, leading her out on the ice. She was fine as long as he held her hand and pulled her along but when he let go of her she fell on her butt. Several tries later she could, if she concentrated, skate for a few strides before going wobbly.
“It’s my ankles, John. I have weak ankles.”
“So did I when I first started to skate. Just keep trying. You’ll get it.”
She was determined not to quit until she could skate the length of the pond. After several falls, one particularly hard on her right hip, she made it. John skated in front of her and beside her but she wouldn’t let him touch her. I can do this! I will do this! She skated the full length of the pond and back without falling and, feeling she had earned a rest, headed for the bench that had appeared on the side of the pond. Watching John skate was enough for her. He was a natural on ice and skated as easily as he walked.
By the time they got back to the house she was favoring her right hip as she walked. John insisted she needed a soak in the tub. When they reached her room John walked into her bathroom and called her in to look. The tub was full of scented, very warm water, the candles were burning and rose petals were floating on the water.
“It looks like a tub for two,” she said, raising her eyebrows at him.
“Okay, but I’m not sure about the rose petals.” He began removing his clothes.
“Romance, John, the house thinks we need a romantic setting.” She took off her clothes and stepped in the water, facing John.
“Come around here and just lean against me,” he said and Toni leaned against his chest, his arms locked under her breasts over her hands. After a moment of adjustment they relaxed. Soft jazz playing in the background from unseen speakers enhanced the atmosphere in the bathroom.
Toni felt herself drifting. Of all the things they had shared, the lovemaking, the play, this was the most intimate and perfect moment secured in his arms against his body. She thought they might have melded into one so close to him did she feel.
John rested his head on the rim of the tub, closing his eyes. He thought if he could he would extend this moment forever. Little doubts would rise. Perhaps he should be caressing her, doing something physical? Would she expect it? No…somehow this was perfect, a deeper love than he could otherwise show her.
Christmas morning they came downstairs to find Santa had been and left a stack of packages under the tree. They looked at each other and laughed. Toni went to get their coffee while John pulled the packages out, shaking them as he set them down on the coffee table.
“Scrabble!” said Toni as she tore the wrappings off a present.
“I’ve got Clue…board games? The house thinks we’re bored?” laughed John.
Further investigation revealed a motorized helicopter for John to play with and Toni got a small camera and an album.
“Pictures! I can take pictures now. I hated that I left my camera at home.” It was a nice little Nikon and she fooled around with it until she took a picture of her feet. She aimed it at John. Oh, she intended to take a lot of pictures of him.
The helicopter followed her into the kitchen where she dodged around it, trying to fry eggs and bacon.
“I’m going to cook it, John, if you don’t get it away from my stove!” she called out.
New Year's Eve found them in her bedroom with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and two crystal flutes. They were on her sofa waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square. Both were casually dressed, John in only flannel pajama pants and Toni in her sleep tee, and were feeding each other from a tray of assorted cheeses and crackers.
“We’ve got to save some of this bubbly to toast the New Year in,” said Toni as she refilled their glasses.
“You could save it all if it was up to me, not much of a bubbly guy.” He took the glass and watched the bubbles rise.
“You have to. It’s tradition. John. Toasts with Coors Light don’t count.”
They counted down with Dick Clark and kissed at midnight then drained their champagne flutes. Toni set her glass down and took John’s from his hand, placing it on the table. She moved up on him, looking him in his eyes.
“I love you, John.” A moment passed
“I love you, Toni.” He placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her to his lips. When she pulled back his eyes were wet and she kissed each one before moving to his mouth again. Taking her time, she worked her way down his neck. The little hollow received a kiss before she began using her hands and her tongue over his chest and followed the line of dark hairs down his belly. He shifted slightly and she pushed him back into the sofa cushions and slipped his pajamas over his hips. Teasing him with her tongue until he moaned she took him.
The little clock struck one and John lay with his eyes on the ceiling, his lips slightly parted. Toni’s head lay on his belly and she was asleep. He was thinking of the other two trips he had made to this house. They were just sexual romps, fulfilling somebody’s fantasy, a bit of fun and left no lasting feelings on his part. This time was different. How could this be allowed to happen? Magic or no magic, he never wanted to return here again because he would remember her.
Deep in the night the house began to rearrange the furniture downstairs. The Christmas decorations were gone, white lilies and white candles all that remained. A wreath of twigs adorned the front door and an antique stone statue replaced the greenery on the porch. The house smelled of pears and myrrh.
While the house reveled in the love shared by the two now nestled in Toni’s bed asleep, it was not without feelings for John. It had decided if he was ever called again he would have no memory of Toni. This was, after all, a house of love for love and it chose it’s occupants carefully. Certain adjustments were sometimes necessary for the good of all. Toni had not called Spring yet and although there was plenty of time, it would play close attention, for it would have to be someone special to bring her back after John. If she did not choose wisely, it might have to step in.
It began snowing again on New Year’s Day and by the time Toni and John had decided to go out and walk, heavy white flakes were falling. They decided not to go far and wandered down to the edge of the cliff behind the house. The sea looked gray and forbidding, melting into the sky in the distance.
“Doesn’t look a pleasant sight, does it, cold and unrelenting,” observed Toni.
“Not a place I would want to be, but I imagine in warm weather it would be a lot different.” He looked down to the left and noticed the land sloped down to the crescent beach below. “You’ll probably be lying on the beach by summer.” He smiled slightly and hugged her bulky clothed body to his.
“Summer…it seems a long way off right now. Look, our tracks are already covered.”
“We should probably head back.” He took her hand and walked back to the house to enjoy a traditional New Year’s Day dinner.
January passed by too quickly, the days getting longer but time shorter. Toni had made some good progress with her book and she surprised herself by letting John help her with research. She found she didn’t want to be shut off in her work room for hours without him near.
The house had outdone itself for Valentine’s Day. A heart wreath of red roses intertwined with ivy adorned the front door. Red roses filled every room except John’s. He had brought his vase of roses into Toni’s room. A collection of antique valentines and old heart candy boxes filled shelves on either side of the fireplace. The mantel was lined with a collection of cupids.
“I think I’m drowning in roses here,” said John from his recliner.
“You don’t like roses?” she asked from the sofa.
“Well, yeah, I do, but they’re everywhere.”
“You know what red roses mean, don’t you? What, a romantic guy like you? Red roses stand for love, John.”
“Ahhh…so we’re surrounded by love? I don’t think we needed a rose to tell us that, now did we?”
“We might need chocolate cheesecake.” She smiled at his expression. “It’s in the fridge.”
After Valentine's Day had passed Toni put her writing aside. She had come to a place in her story that she just couldn’t write, knowing she only had four weeks left with John. The two snow people they had built in front of the house were getting smaller by the day. She walked down with John to the frozen pond for his last skate and watched him from the bench. Already the lower part of the pond was cracking. He called it a work out and she could see why when he skated over to her.
“You’re wet with sweat, John. This can’t be good. You’ll catch cold.”
“Nah, I’m used to it, always wet after a hockey game. You know my knee feels pretty good. Maybe this is what I needed, a break from playing for awhile.”
“I hope it holds true for you, love, when you go back home.” He gave her such an intense look she had to look away. That was a thoughtless remark. He'd said there were two separate worlds. How could anything that happened here hold over?
“Well…you never know. It might. Magic, you know.”
“You are magic, John.” She caressed his bearded cheek. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”
He smiled, raising his eyebrows. “I think I like the sound of that.”
There came the day when all the snow had melted away from the woods, replaced by a few brave birds returning from their winter vacation in the south. Toni woke in John’s bed and found him sitting in one of the chairs. He’d turned, facing her. He’d been up for some time, walking through the house and through her room. He knew this was the day he had to leave. He’d pushed it as far as he could.
He smiled at her, “Good morning, Toni.”
“Good morning to you. You’re up early. You should come back to bed.”
“I was just thinking that. You looked so delicious sleeping.” He came over to the bed and slipped in beside her. He moved on top of her, supporting himself on his elbows and kissed her in that special way he had that turned her bones to jelly. He took his time loving her and afterward he led her into her room and out on the balcony.
“I wanted you to look at the sea this morning. Remember when we were out on the cliff in the snow? Look at it now.”
“Oh, John, it’s beautiful. Look the way the sun lays across the water like a path to the cliff.”
Okay, Biebe, it’s got to be done. Just don’t fuck it up.
“I think it might be, Toni. I think Spring is coming,” he said softly.
Toni turned to look at him. “No…no…no…John!” She grabbed him around the waist, holding as tightly as she could.
“It has to be, darlin’. You remember me telling you about that when I got here.” He held her, feeling her tears soak through the tee shirt he had on. When she had quieted he pulled back and lifted her chin to kiss her.
“I haven’t called for Spring,” she said in a ragged voice.
“I know, but you know it comes every year. The house has helped you, I believe. Trust it, Toni. You’re going to have to let Winter go.”
“When, when are you leaving?”
“Today, now, I have to.” He swallowed hard, feeling his eyes fill up. “I need to go now, Toni.” He kissed her hard and left her on the balcony.
Toni’s legs crumpled and she sat on the tiled balcony holding on to the balustrades, looking out to the sea. She cried for a long time, finally getting up and going into her bathroom to wash her face. Her eyes were swollen and red. She pulled on her robe and walked out in the hallway. John’s door was closed and she didn’t try the knob, knowing it wouldn’t open. Down the hallway next to her room a lot of banging and scraping was going on but she turned her head and went downstairs. She felt it in the air. The house was in a frenzy. She didn’t care and poured herself a cup of coffee, wiping a stray tear on her sleeve. Her robe smelled of John. How could you possibly be bringing somebody else in this house after what you’ve caused! This is not a game for me, house, this is my life you’re fucking with! I don’t want anybody else, don’t you understand? You…arrrragh.
Toni ran upstairs and changed her clothes. She had to get out of the house to cool down. Her wardrobe was in disarray as though someone had tossed her things about. She grabbed a denim skirt, cotton knit sweater and her silver tennis shoes and ran back downstairs and out the front door. She had every intention of packing and leaving when she got back.
ON TO SPRING
BACK TO BEGINNINGS
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