By Atonia Walpole
Part 4 of SPRING (Aubrey)
The house breathed a sigh of relief, turned off the lamps in her room, and sent a line of candles across the mantle and on her bedside tables so that it was bathed in soft candlelight when they arrived.
The flowers had been freshened and a light, cool breeze blew through the opened French doors. Soft classical music played in the background.
“Now then, my little jade, come to me.”
It was a command and Toni dared not disobey. He pulled her to him and unbuttoned her blouse. Holding her eyes, he slipped his hands under her breasts, rubbing his thumbs across her nipples until she felt her knees go weak. She held on to his shirt and began unbuttoning, easing it over his shoulders. He let it fall to the floor. She reached around his neck, untied his hair and he smiled.
Grabbing her ass, he pulled her tight against him and she felt his hardness against her stomach. Her arms went around his waist, her hands found his buttocks and she squeezed him tight, feeling the shiver run through his body. Her skirt fell in a puddle at her feet then she was lifted up and placed on the bed. He began teasing her mouth, almost but not touching her lips with his until she pulled his mouth to hers with a low moan.
Later she lay on top of him, his arms tight around her waist, not letting her up.
“Jack, I need to get up. I have to go pee.”
“No, you’ll have to hold it.”
“You’re terrible.”
“Am I?”
“You’re fantastic and you know it. Now let me up or I swear I will pee on you.”
He laughed, “That would be a first! Go on, then.” He gave her bottom a smack.
Toni washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She was still flushed from their lovemaking. There was no doubt in her mind he knew he was good, he knew exactly what buttons to push. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Jack had poured two glasses of wine and held one out to her by the sofa.
“Should we sit here for a while” she asked, “let the bed cool down a bit?”
He grinned, “Whatever you would like, my dear, although I do favor the bed.” He sat down on the end of the sofa, pulling her along side of him. “Take a sip of your wine,” he whispered in her ear and when she did, he kissed her, raking his tongue across hers. “Mmm, I think it tastes better in your mouth.”
“You are too much, Jack Aubrey, almost too much for me,” she sighed.
“Almost? But you will have me.”
“Oh, yes, I’ll have you.” She grinned.
He left her a while later, going to his own room for the night. During the next two weeks she found this was a pattern with him. He never slept with her through the night and he never took her to his bed. She finally got up enough courage to ask him about that one morning in the rose garden.
“Jack, is there a reason you won’t sleep the night with me?”
“Yes, there is a very good reason. If you would think about it you would know. One becomes too attached. I have spent too much time here not to learn what is best for all. It’s not that I would not welcome your lovely face next to mine in the morning, you do understand?”
“Yes, I do understand. No attachments, no strings.” She sounded sad.
“I’m sorry, have I upset you? I would not have you in the same state as when I arrived. That is never to happen again.”
“You are very wise, Jack. You’re right, of course. There needs to be some space between us. I guess that’s why you never take me to your bed.” She gave him a sideways look.
He took her hand, rubbing his thumb across the top. “Do you wish to come to my bed?”
“Not unless you want me there. I’ve never been in your room except one time when you were playing your violin. You didn’t see me, your back was to the door. I felt I didn’t belong there and left.”
“I wonder why you felt that way? I’m sure I shouldn’t have minded.”
“It was your private space and you hadn’t asked me there. I think maybe you don’t ask anyone there.”
“Hmm, I don’t usually.” He furrowed his brow in thought.
“Don’t worry I guess it doesn’t really matter except…no…”
“What were you about to say?”
“Your room says a lot about who you are, that inner man you mentioned one time, not the lovely package.”
“Package! I beg your pardon, I’m a package?” He sat up straight, eyes wide.
She laughed, “Oh, but such a beautiful package, Jack ,that I enjoy very much.” She kissed his lips.
“I have been called many things in my life but never a package. Oh dear, a package, like a side of bacon.”
“I’m thinking more like beef,” she grinned.
A slow smile crawled across his face. “I think I shall toss you off the cliff.”
“You’d miss me.”
A thoughtful look in his eyes. “I would indeed.”
Two weeks later before dinner, Toni was working when Jack walked into her workroom.
“What are you doing? Can you stop?”
“Yes, of course. What is it?” She turned around.
“I have a very large tub in my room that wants company. I really tried to convince it I could fill the space but, alas, it will not have it.”
“Is this an invitation to your bath?”
“Yes…from the bath itself.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“I heard it with my own ears. The bath wants company.”
“Well then, let’s not keep it waiting.” She smiled and switched off her computer. What was he up to?
He did, indeed, have a large bath. It was a deep whirlpool. “You’ve kept this secret all this time? Shame on you, Jack, I love a whirlpool.”
“No doubt this was the hold up with my room preparation, but it was worth the wait.” He held her hand as she stepped down into the water.
“Ahh, this is heaven!” She let the jets pour over her body as she semi-floated. Jack had settled down on the other side and took her hand, pulling her over to his side.
“You like this? I suppose I should have extended an invitation myself instead of waiting on the bath.”
She moved against his shoulder. What was he doing inviting her into his inner sanctum? “I would have come.”
The movement of the water had made her feel limp after a while and she leaned against him. His arm went around her and he bent to kiss her. It became a deep, bone-melting kiss, if she’d had any bones after sitting in the whirlpool with him.
“I want you,” he said against her mouth.
Her stomach did a flip. “Yes.”
He pulled her from the tub and led her, dripping, to his bed. The sheets were cool and white when she lay down. He lay on top of her, his hair dripping on her face and teased her mouth, just barely touching her lips, moving his face above hers brushing her lips with his. She ran her hands up and down his muscled back and over his hips, his wet skin warming under her touch.
“Jack” she said breathlessly, and his mouth closed over hers. He didn’t use finesse, but took his pleasure, and when she convulsed against him he buried his face in her neck. He didn’t move from her and slid his arms under her back to take some of his weight. When he lifted his head she saw the look in his eyes.
“Oh, my God, Jack!”
“Now you know why I don’t bring you in here.”
“Why, why have you done this?”
“I will ask myself that for some time to come, but for this moment you are mine.” He began to move within her again, harder and faster until he cried out and fell over her, rolling to his side. He gathered her, spoon fashion, against him and held her.
Toni opened her eyes, noticing the light had changed in the room. A large white candle burned on his desk and shadows filled the corners. She had no concept of time. She felt a knot of fear in her belly.
“Jack, you’re going to leave aren’t you?”
“Yes.” His answer was muffled in her hair.
Part 5:
Toni closed her eyes, trying to keep her breathing steady. He was going to leave her after letting her know he loved her. Determined not to fall apart again she turned slightly in his arms.
“When, when are you going?”
“My ship will appear sometime in the next few days. It will come in with the tide and I shall be aboard when the tide goes out. You do understand, Toni?”
“Yes, Jack, I believe I do. I’m sorry.”
He raised himself on his elbow. “You have nothing to be sorry for, my dear, nothing at all. My duty here is complete. It is only my own self indulgence that keeps me here”
“Hmm, I thought it might be me.”
“Oh, my pet, you are my self indulgence, and before it goes any farther I must bring it to an end. You still have time, a month remaining, to call another.” He ran his hand over the curve of her hip.
“No, I think it would be good for me to be alone for awhile. Just…it’s been so intense…I need to get myself together, Jack.”
“A wise decision,” he kissed her shoulder. “Will you stay with me tonight, indulge me once more?”
“Oh, yes, anything, Jack.” She turned and met his lips.
The next morning Jack awoke at dawn as was his custom. Smiling at the lovely creature sleeping beside him, he quietly eased himself from the bed and dressed. Downstairs Killick was complaining about the dinner gone to waste. Jack informed him they would be sailing soon and he would like breakfast delivered to his room. He turned on his heel and went back upstairs. Killick, shaking his head and muttering, pulled out a pan and began to cook.
Toni heard the door close when he came back in and turned beneath the smooth sheets. “You’re up already. What time is it?”
“It’s seven bells. I have been up for some time. Killick will bring breakfast shortly. I thought you might like it in bed.”
She ran her hand through her tangled hair. “You’re very thoughtful, Jack, and we missed dinner, didn’t we?”
“Did we?” he smiled. “My appetite was satisfied.”
She smiled back. “I’m not so sure about that. You’re insatiable. What happened to my clothes?”
“They are wet by the bath. Here, put this on if you must cover yourself.” He handed her his blue shirt.
“I think I will keep this, Jack, to remind me of your blue eyes. As if I could ever forget you.”
He looked toward the window and smiled. “I have decided to help you with your choices for summer and fall. They must be carefully thought out because I am well aware of the dangers here with you.”
“Oh, now I’m dangerous?”
“You are, indeed, my lady, to yourself and my brothers.”
After breakfast Jack followed Toni to her room to go through her DVD’s and make some decisions.
“You said fall should be special, Jack. I think this is fall. What do you say?”
“Excellent choice, Toni. You will not be disappointed, and for summer?”
She fanned through the stack, pulling out several to think about, replacing and pulling she looked up at him. “I really don’t know.”
He looked at what she had pulled. “Not this one. I would not allow that. He would not be good for you as he carries too much baggage with him. This one…Toni, I am afraid you would end up the way I found you.”
“You mean we’d fall in love?”
“Yes, I think you would. He has that in him. This one might be a little young for you…now how about him?”
“I never thought about him. Is this your choice?”
“It’s your choice to make. I am only guiding you, my dear. You need someone light hearted; you need to have some fun, Toni. It will be a long summer.”
“Light hearted, but he…well, he was fun, wasn’t he?”
He watched her brow furrow and hoped she chose him. They would be a good match because she could hold her own and keep him in line. He would be good for her. “Watch the movie and make up your mind. I need to confer with Killick. Take your time, my dear.” He gave her a quick kiss and left her alone with her movie.
Toni walked out on her balcony, still wearing Jack’s shirt, and looked at the sea. Far on the horizon she saw a speck that would be his ship. So soon!
Jack had seen the speck on the horizon and was surprised it had come so soon. He would be sailing in the morning. There was only today and tonight. He felt the excitement already building inside of him, his ship, his crew, his command, for he was happiest at sea.
“Killick!” he bellowed from the terrace. Turning, he found Killick behind him. He’d been watching the speck grow into sails also. “Oh, good man! We sail in the morning, make ready.” He turned once again to the sea, lifted his chin and smiled.
Toni had dressed and found her camera. How silly not to have taken pictures of Jack, she thought as she ran down the steps. She found him on the terrace dressed in a dark blue jersey and blue slacks.
Snap…snap…snap. He would not pose for her so she took what she could. As he stepped off the terrace and walked to the cliff she called him and he turned…snap.
“You don’t like having your picture taken, do you?” she asked, catching up with him.
“I would hate to think of you keening over me when I’ve gone.”
She ignored him. “Hold the camera and get one of us together.”
He looked at her a minute and took the camera, holding it out. “There, will that satisfy you?”
“No, I want another,” she said, handing him back the camera.
“I shall take one of you with the sea behind you and your hair blowing about.” He snapped her picture and handed her the camera. “No more,” he said giving her a stern look.
Toni smiled, just the sight of his ship and he’s the commander again. She slipped her arm around his waist and he pulled her tight to his side.
Dinner that night included much wine. Toni was a little flushed and her eyes sparkled across the table. He was glad she was taking this so well. He would have hated to leave her in tears as John must have done. Ah, but then they had a different kind of love, he smiled, but what he had was very satisfying all the same.
“May I toast you, my dear? To a beautiful woman who has touched my heart, and whom I have enjoyed immensely.”
“May I offer one of my own? To a beautiful man in whose strength I have found myself. I’ve loved you dearly, Jack.”
He closed his eyes and drained his glass.
He took her to his bed that night and loved her with all the feelings he had for her. Tucked up against him, Toni slept soundly, her body and spirit sated.
He woke her at dawn, loved her again and got up and dressed in his uniform. Toni got up too, wanting to see him off.
Killick had already made two trips to the ship, indulging himself with the stores available at the house. He emerged from the house now carrying Jack’s trunk with his weapons and papers, and headed down the slope.
“I hate to leave you alone, my dear, but you have nothing fear here. The house will protect and care for you until summer. Perhaps you will work? Your book is coming along nicely. I have read it, you know.”
“When? I didn’t know you’d read it?”
“At night when you were sleeping.” They were walking down the slope, “Are you sure you want to come all the way down here?”
“Yes, I am. I’ve never been down to the beach…it might be a place to spend some time,” she said and smiled up at him. He stopped just before they rounded the last bend in the path, took her face in his hands and kissed her deep and thoroughly.
“You do know I’ve loved you,” he said quietly, looking into her eyes.
“Yes, and I have loved you, Jack. I have something for you of mine, if you will take it.” She pulled a jade pendant from her pocket and placed it in his hand. He met her eyes, smiled and lifted his chin.
“It is you. I shall treasure it always.” He dropped her hands and walked ahead to his ship.
Toni sat down on a piece of driftwood and watched and listened as the orders were called out, echoing through the ship. It was magnificent. Once they began to move out, she walked back up to the cliff top, watching until the ship was only a speck on the horizon.
Millie had come out on the terrace, not finding Killick in the kitchen to give her a special treat. She meowed and Toni came up and sat on the step beside her, taking her in her lap. “There’s just me and you now, Millie.” She began to rock back and forth, and let the tears she had kept back for Jack’s sake flow down her cheeks. After a while she got up and went into the kitchen. It was her territory again and she made a pot of coffee. The house warmed her and she felt its protective love close around her.
Taking her cup, she went upstairs to download the pictures of Jack, smiling as they came up. He was such a special man. No, Jack, I shall not sit here and keen over you. I know you would not want it. She got up and walked down the hall, trying his door, surprised the room let her in. His scent almost overwhelmed her but she steadied herself. All his personal effects were gone and she walked around the room touching things he had touched. Her hand landed on a book by his chair. It was a book of poetry. She picked it up and smiled, carrying it to her room.
ON TO SUMMER
BACK TO SPRING, PART 1
BACK TO WINTER
BACK TO BEGINNINGS
BACK TO LIBRISCROWE