Autumn Passions
At
The House of Four Seasons
By Atonia Walpole
I’ve had to pull myself together today. I have never known such a summer. He stayed until after lunch today, a first for him. We are bound together, bonded for life or in this case eternity or whichever comes first. I say it’s forever, but what do I know? It could end tomorrow...or never end. We take what we can and live to the fullest.
Tomorrow is fall and Terry will arrive. I almost wish he were here today to help me get through this. Max is gone until next summer and I need Terry. I tried to read and couldn’t concentrate. I tried to write and I kept hearing Max’s voice, so I have come out here to the gazebo.
It doesn’t feel like fall yet. We’ve not had any really cool nights. It’s been a very warm summer and I think it will continue for awhile. I hope so. Last year the weather was bad when Terry was here. We stayed inside a lot and drove down to Salem and around different places. Not much you can do in the rain…that I would write about anyway. Maybe we needed that time since I’d almost lost him. We were very close when he left, very.
It’s getting dark now. I will go back to the house, have a light dinner, take my bath and sleep in Terry’s bed.
Part 1:
He was running. He had no conception of time lost or gained, only that he was on familiar ground. He knew just where the trail would curve and then straighten out. There would be a lean to the right and he would be able to see the roofline of the house. His mind, his breathing, his body controlled in a rhythm familiar to him. He leaned into the turn and continued. A quick glance toward the sea told him it would be sunrise within the next thirty minutes. When he let himself think, he wondered how he arrived at this place. Where was he yesterday and the day before? There were questions he could not answer, questions for which there were no answers. This was his reality.
He knew at the end of this trail he would be home with its familiar feel and scent. She would be there waiting for him and she would take him into her and love him. He paused at the end of the walkway and looked at the huge bulk of the house, dark against the lavender tint of the sky. It seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for him to enter. He was attuned to the house now. When it happened he wasn’t sure, but he knew it was so. He smiled a little, walked to the door and went inside.
He is here at last and we love him. We are amused that he knows. This he feels as he quietly walks up the stairs. He hesitates only a second outside her bedroom. He knows she is in his bed and it thrills him to know this. We are happy for him. (HO4S)
Toni was having the most wonderful dream. Her whole body was alive with sensations. She inhaled his scent and moaned softly. She could feel his tongue on her lips and as she became conscious he took her mouth and kissed her senseless.
When she could get a breath, she sighed, “Terry.”
She felt his weight and wrapped herself around him, pulling him deeper inside of her where he belonged, where his soul touched hers and they became one. She wanted to consume him, never wanted it to end, but that exquisite pain took her as she moved with him. He took his pleasure until he fell on her breasts and rolled her over and over on the bed, holding her to him.
Toni held him until his breath became deep in sleep then kissed the top of his head. Where had the tears come from that escaped the outer corners of her eyes? How was it possible to love someone so much? She held him tightly against her breast and buried her face in his hair. She had never known such passion until he came into her life.
They were down in the kitchen and Toni was pulling out things for breakfast. Terry was leaning against the island.
“Whatever you cook is fine, Toni.”
“But you never ask for anything specific. I’d like to cook something you want.”
“I’m not hard to please…all right, eggs.”
“Oh, thank you very much, Mr. Thorne,”
Terry picked up his mug of coffee and smiled at her. He walked out on the terrace and sat down at the table. It was good to be back home with Toni. She ignited him like no other ever had. He was thinking about the first time he came here and saw her, how he’d studied her as she made a salad. Even then with the attitude he had she still had something that made him want to take her to bed and fuck her senseless. It was more than that now, much more.
“Chef’s choice this morning.” She placed a plate before him.
He looked down at two eggs over easy, sausages and toast. “I’ll take it.”
Toni went back for her own plate and sat down with him. She glanced at her left hand. It felt naked without the ring. She’d taken it off the night before as she left her room for Terry’s.
“Did you have a good summer?” Terry cut up his sausage.
“Yes, a very good summer. It was our first anniversary.”
“Oh, how so?”
“Four years of summer makes a year. Next year we’ll have ours.”
“Is that how you figure it?”
“Yes, and we will do something special to celebrate.”
“We’ll do whatever you want.”
“Or whatever YOU want. I hope you’re not afraid to speak up for what you want.”
“Have I ever not?” He looked up, meeting her eyes.
“Actually, no, I can’t think…”
“I get what I need, Toni. Don’t ever worry about me.”
“I will if I want to.” It spilled out of her mouth so fast she didn’t have time to stop it. She looked up to see an amused sparkle in his eyes, but he said nothing.
“Terry do you ride?”
“Ride what?”
“Horses?”
“I’m from Australia.”
“Um, does that mean yes?”
“Yes.”
“We have them now. Egan brought them. He’s staying up in his cabin and looks after them for me.”
“Oh, yeah? Is that what he does?” He leaned back in his chair and lit a cigarette.
“That’s what he does.” He was giving her one of those opaque looks. “That’s all he does, Terry.”
“Must get pretty lonely for him out there by himself.”
“He brought his dog.”
“Umm.”
“I’ll ask him to leave if you want me to. He really only looks after the horses.”
“Do you think I’m jealous of him?”
“You’ve no reason to be. Oh, hell, Terry, I don’t know what you’re thinking!” Sometimes he exasperated her. She picked up their plates to take them to the kitchen.
Terry smiled, watching her walk through the glass doors, and leaned his head back, looking at the sky. He was playing with her. He would, however, check Egan out. He got up and went into the kitchen.
“Are we going riding?”
“Do you want to?” She turned and faced him.
“Yes.”
“Why do you do this to me?”
“Because I can.” He put his hands on her waist. “I’m not trying to upset you.”
She ran her hands up his arms. “Trying to fire me up?”
“I like you on fire.” He pulled her to him and kissed her.
“One of these days, Terry,”
“Do it.”
“You might not like it.”
“Try me.”
He made her weak in the knees. “Terry you are too much.”
He kissed the top of her head. “We were going riding.”
“Yeah,” she straightened up, “we were. I, uh, need to find my boots.” He released her and looked down at his running shoes. He went upstairs to his room and found a pair of boots. What a wonderful wardrobe, he thought as he closed the door. Think about it and it’s there. He met her in the hall.
“Ready?”
“Yes,” she smiled, ”let’s go riding.”
Egan always knew when the horses need saddling and he was in the stables doing that when Toni and Terry approached.
“G’day,” Terry greeted.
“G’day, Terry. We’ve got a new one for you. Thought you might him. This is Bullet.”
“When did he arrive?” Toni asked, walking over to the big black horse.
“Came yesterday,” Egan replied.
Terry walked over to get acquainted with his mount. “What is it you do out here?” he asked Egan.
“I ride and tend to the horses. They run free during the day but I stable them up at night, make sure they’re fed and watered and groomed.”
“You don’t get lonely up there in your cabin…alone?”
“Ah, nah, I got dog here. I like the solitude.”
Terry looked over the stable partition and met his eyes. An understanding passed between them.
“If you don’t need me, I can go. I told Toni that. No worries.”
“No, stay and care for the animals.” Terry finished tightening up his saddle.
“Ta, Mate. Calla’s ready, Toni.”
“Thanks, Egan.” Toni mounted and Egan led her horse out of the stable onto the road.
Egan watched them ride out and smiled to himself. He turned and called his dog, mounted his own horse and took off across the fields.
“Did you get that settled in your mind?” Toni asked, catching up with Terry.
“I’m just glad it wasn’t East,” he grinned.
Toni laughed and took off.
Part 2:
The first two weeks of September were very warm but the nights were getting cooler and the foliage was beginning to turn in the forests. Toni and Terry spent a lot of time outdoors, riding, in the pool, and down by the pond. A waterfall had appeared on the far end. Toni was always amazed at the magic and the things the house came up with for their enjoyment.
One afternoon they took a bottle of wine and two glasses down to the waterfall and sat on the big flat rock that led out into the pond. They were in shorts and barefoot, letting their feet dangle in the water.
“This is beautiful but I wonder how it will affect the pond in winter when John wants to skate.” Terry handed her a glass of wine.
“I have no idea. Maybe the water will turn off like a faucet,” she grinned.
“Magic water.”
“I love it, all of it.” She took a sip of her wine.
“So do I. I’m very glad you found this place.”
“Yes, and you, I’m glad I found you.”
He moistened his lips. “Tomorrow I’d like to ride to Cape Cod. There’s a little inn I found on the net. I made reservations.”
“Overnight?”
“Yeah, overnight.”
“That’s pushing it, Terry.”
“No it isn’t. Twenty-four hours is not a problem. It’s not far.”
“I know but…”
“We’re going.”
“I‘m with you.”
“Yes, you are and as long as you’re with me you’ve nothing to worry about, nothing.”
“I believe you. I trust you.” Toni knew then that he was charmed. Some instinct inside let her know he was magic as she had suspected all along. She smiled, wondering how strong it was.
He was quiet for a moment and then looked into her eyes. “Thank you for that.”
“Trust is important.”
“Yes, it is.” He looked down. “I was afraid after last year I’d blown that with you.”
“No, never, Terry. I was frightened and worried but when you left last year, we were fine.”
“Are you…fine?”
“I think so, yes.”
He sensed something about her. “Tell me.”
Toni looked up into his eyes. “Tell you?”
“Whatever it is, yes.”
Toni swallowed her wine. “I’m not balanced. It’s hard to explain. I’ve tried, Terry. I know I have to be evenly balanced four ways.”
“You’ve got a weak connection…who?”
“Spring. I hate that it is so. We have something but it’s not anywhere near what I have with you or Max or John. I feel so guilty even talking about it. I thought it was going to work. I felt like it would. John chose him for me and I never for once thought it wouldn’t work. I don’t know what to do.”
“Let him go. It’s as simple as that. He won’t know. He’ll stay in LA.”
“It hurts, Terry. Somehow I’ve failed.”
“No, you haven’t. It’s not your fault the chemistry wasn’t right. Maybe John doesn’t know you as well as he thinks.”
Toni played with her glass.
“Have you got somebody else in mind?” He thought about the horseman up in his cabin.
“I believe I do but whether I can make it work or whether he will even want to is…”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“Jack Aubrey.”
Terry smiled slightly and looked over at the waterfall. The sailor...a good choice, he thought. “He’s been with you before.”
“Yes, for about a month and a half. I didn’t ask for him. That was the first year.”
“Do you want my opinion?”
“Yes, I do. I would value it.”
“Give it a lot of thought and don’t let me or anybody else tell you what to do. Follow your heart and your gut instinct. This is too hard on you. It takes too much out of you over and over again. You’re right. It needs to be settled. I wouldn’t presume to tell you who to choose.”
“This has caused me much grief, Terry. Bud is a very sweet man but that spark wasn’t strong enough to light a fire. I knew you were the one before the fire was lit."
“I remember you telling me you were going to love me.”
“And I do. You have my soul, Terry.”
“I know what to do with you.”
“Yes, you do, no guidance needed. You lead, I follow. That’s what I need…somebody stronger than me, and I can talk to you and I trust you.”
“Thank God you were given the patience of a saint or else I wouldn’t be here.”
Toni leaned into him and he put his arm around her.
They left the next morning for Cape Cod. It was only an hour away and during the week there was little traffic to contend with now the summer season was over.
“I hope you like this kind of thing,” he said as he pulled up at the Beach Rose Inn.
“I’ve never been to something like this before. I think it looks absolutely charming.”
“I wanted to do something away from the house, Toni, someplace where there is really just you and me.”
Toni squeezed his hand. Who knew Terry was a romantic at heart? She went inside with him as he checked them in and got their room key. They were Mr. and Mrs. Terrence Thorne. Toni slipped her left hand in her pocket. She had no wedding ring.
As they climbed the stairs she asked, “When did we get married in case somebody asks?”
“Today, this morning.”
“So this is our wedding night?”
He opened the door to their room. “I guess it is.”
“I’ll have to keep my left hand in my pocket. They seemed awfully interested in us.”
“Just being friendly. Let me see that hand…we’ll have to do something about that.”
He looked into her eyes and smiled and when he felt it in his right hand, he slipped a gold band on her finger.
“How did you do that?”
“Magic…you have to say the words. Will you take this man for all eternity?”
“I will…oh, Terry, I will!” her arms went around his neck and he kissed her slowly and lovingly.
“We are magically married. I love you, Toni.”
“And I love you Terry, forever and always.” She looked at her hand around his neck, a wedding ring and he’d produced it out of thin air away from the house. “If I’d known I was getting married today I might have worn something besides jeans.” She smiled up at him, still within his arms.
“I like you best in nothing.” He grabbed her bottom.
“I like you that way, too.” She grabbed his.
“Save that thought for tonight.” He released her.
“Anticipation,” she grinned. “Okay, well, we’d better get out of the bedroom then, sweet as it is and go explore Cape Cod.”
They were in and out of boutiques and he bought her whatever she wanted no matter the cost, silly little souvenirs and tee shirts. “How are we paying for this, Terry?”
“I have an American Express card. How it gets paid I have no idea but it’s in my wallet.”
“Amazing.”
They went into a gallery and he bought her an oil painting done in Cape Cod and a Nantucket basket, things she would treasure, things that would remind her of this day, the day she married Terry Thorne.
They stopped for an ice cream and later dinner and then drove back to the Inn for the night.
“This has been the most wonderful day, Terry. I’ve enjoyed it all.”
“So have I.” He locked the door and turned, noticing a magnum of champagne and two glasses on a little table by the fireplace, a note on the tray congratulating them on their marriage, compliments of the Inn. “This is nice. Did you see it?”
Toni took the card. “Yes, it is. Good thing we ate a big dinner. That’s a lot of champagne to drink.”
Toni went into the bathroom. She’d bought a little slip of a lacy nightgown. Married in her jeans, at least she would dress for her wedding night. Not that it would stay on, she thought.
“Chocolates, too, on the pillows. Did you see?” he called out.
“Don’t eat them yet.” She came out of the bathroom…ready for him.
Terry stood very still, staring at her for a minute. “You’re lovely, Toni.”
“Toni Thorne.”
He smiled and let her unbutton his shirt as he toed off his loafers.
“You are mine, Toni.” He kissed her until she thought she was going to drop and then lay her on the bed and lay on top of her, kissing her again and again and trailing his tongue down her neck. He took her hands in his and wouldn’t let her touch him as he moved down her body.
Her little lacy gown was pushed this way and that but never taken off. When he released her hands, she laced them through his hair, pulling him closer to her.
He lay with his head on her belly, drinking in the sweet smell of her. Toni pulled him up and rolled him over and began doing the same thing to him he’d done to her until he pulled her up, flipped her over, and entered her hard and fast.
They held each other until their hearts stopped racing and they could breathe normally again. “I can’t get enough of you,” she breathed, tracing his lips with finger.
“You’ve got me, Toni.”
“I can’t hold you close enough. I want you inside of me.”
“I am inside of you. I’m there looking out.”
She kissed him softly on the lips.
They opened the champagne and ate the chocolates. After the third or fourth glass they went down on the beach, a short walk down a sandy path. Toni pulled a cotton skirt over her nightgown and Terry wore his boxer shorts. It was dark and they didn’t care. They walked out in the water, letting the waves splash against them while they kissed.
Later after they showered they lay in the bed. “You know why I wanted to take you away from the house for a night?”
“No, why?”
“Because I wanted to know if what we have was real or if it was the magic of the house.”
“And do you know now?”
“Yes, I know. It’s real.”
“If we lived down the beach here it would be the same, Terry. I’d love you no matter where.”
He took her left hand in his, “And I’d love you. I know who I am and what I am. That doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re as real as I am, Terry. Here in this place how could you ever doubt what we are?”
“I know what we are. We’d better get some sleep. Early morning, you know.” He kissed her ring.
They woke early and went downstairs for breakfast and lots of coffee. Back in the room Toni packed their overnight things and had a last look around. It would stay in her memory, her wedding night in the inn. Terry waited patiently at the door, watching her move around the room, smiling when she turned and met his eyes. It had been a special night.
Part 3:
They had thirty minutes to spare when they entered the gates. A little close for comfort but Toni wasn’t worried. Terry was in control. He parked her vehicle in the garage and carried all her shopping back to the house.
As he dumped her bags on her bed, she mused, “You know, Terry, since I’ve been here I really haven’t bought anything.”
“How did it feel to go shopping?”
“It felt good,” she smiled. “I hadn’t forgot how.”
“I noticed. Where are you going to hang this?”
Toni looked at the painting. “In here somewhere.” She walked around her room and found a place by her vanity.
“Maybe you should hang it in our room.”
“But then I wouldn’t see it for nine months.”
“John might not want to look at it.”
“I don’t think he’d mind, Terry. I really don’t. He’s very good about that.”
Terry walked over to another painting she had on her wall. ”You painted this?”
“Yes, the first year I was here.”
“It’s as good as the one you have in your hand, Toni.”
Toni smiled.
“Will you tell him…that we married?”
“ I don’t hold secrets if someone asks or wants to know or if I feel the need to tell something.” She thought about Max’s ring in her jewelry box and wondered how Terry would feel about that. “You never ask me anything so I think you don’t want to know or aren’t interested in what goes on with another season.”
“I’m not. I’d like to think some things are private.”
“They are. What happens between us stays with us, Terry. If you’d rather I kept that between us, I will.”
“I’ll leave that up to you.”
Toni decided it would stay between them. It wasn’t anybody else’s business. “Will you hang it for me?”
“Sure. I’ll go find a hammer and a nail. Oh, how about that! There’s one right here.” He hung her painting then Toni put her basket on top of her wardrobe and donned one of the Cape Cod tee shirts.
“I’m hungry. Let’s go see what’s for lunch,” she smiled, kissing his cheek.
“What is it?” he asked
“Looks like baked spaghetti.” Toni took the casserole from the oven.
They ate their lunch at the kitchen table and then walked outside down to the cliff and sat on the grass.
“You should have a bench out here. I’ve seen you sitting here before.”
“Bench please,” she smiled and one appeared. “That fast enough?”
“Not as fast as the ring.”
“I had no idea you had that much magic. I wonder just what you can do?”
“I don’t know. I’m not going to push it. I can feel it there.”
“I should tell you about the light house. Max found it in a book about this area. It’s not on this property, Terry. It’s maintained by the coastal authority.”
“Really? I left the property?”
“Yes, and look what happened.”
“It wouldn’t now. Sorry, I just know this.”
“Don’t chance it.”
“I’m not unless I have to. Aubrey brought me back.”
“The little piece of boat is what saved your life.”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t have floated out there forever and lived, Toni. If he hadn’t picked me up, I’d be gone. That’s not why you’re thinking of bringing him back, is it?”
“No, but it plays into it. He’s connected here somehow. Last spring we were out on the terrace and it was cool so I asked for a wrap. Bud brought what he’d found on the coat rack. It was Jack’s shirt, something I haven’t had out of my closet since he left.”
Terry put his arm over the back of the bench around her shoulders. “I wish you luck with him. I really mean that, Toni.”
“Thank you.” That was as much of a confirmation of her choice for spring as she was going to get from Terry.
“Odd that spring has always been a problem. Winter and summer were fixed the first year and the next year you came. Why can’t I get it right?”
“Toni, stop worrying over it. Not another word.”
The weather began its transformation into fall. Gone were the Indian summer days and now frost began to cover the landscape early in the mornings. The sun was still bright and brought its warmth during the day but the days were drawing in. The house decorated itself for the season with bright pumpkins and fall flowers. A wreath of brightly colored leaves hung on the door and the scent in the house changed from fresh linen to a warmer spiced orange scent.
The menu changed also, when it was allowed to provide, for Toni did like to cook. Today it was a warm gingerbread that she sliced up and served with a pot of honey butter and coffee for the morning snack, which occurred around eleven o’clock. It was a cold overcast day with rain in the forecast. Terry and Toni were in the library, which he preferred to the living room, perhaps because it was more masculine in feel. There was a nice fire in the fireplace and scented candles burned on the mantle. Millie found a spot on a rug in front of the fire. Toni and Terry were on the long soft leather sofa. He was reading the same book Max had poured over in the summer while Toni was reading poetry.
“Terry, can I read you something?”
He looked up at her.
Your mind and mine are such great lovers they
Have freed themselves from cautious human clay,
And on wild clouds of thought, naked together
They ride above us in extreme delight;
We see them, we look up with a lone envy
And watch them in their zone of crystal weather
That changes not for winter or the night.
“That’s called Two Minds, by Sara Teasdale” she said, meeting his gaze.
“Have you ever looked inside your ring?” he asked.
Toni took it off. Inside was the inscription: Two souls as one.
“We are, aren’t we?”
He smiled and went back to his book. He was way ahead of her.
Toni gazed at him for a minute. They were one mind, body and soul. He was her husband. She tilted her head. Feeling her eyes still on him, he looked up again. No words were necessary.
We have been wanting to step in for some time and explain to you exactly what has taken place. We are amazed and thrilled he has taken it upon himself to marry Toni. This he did without our knowledge until he called for the ring. It is truly a magical marriage as he has said. This was not a step to be taken lightly for a magical marriage is for all eternity. It can never be undone. We are not sure she completely understands the significance of what he has done, but he understands.
Her Summer has done the same thing in a slightly different manner. He gave her an eternity ring and stated before her relative that they were married and so they are. He knows this but again we are not sure she understands.
We are quite pleased and excited about the marriages. It has been a very long time since there were marriages here. Max and Terry are now bonded together and with Toni.
On a different matter, the matter of Spring. It has been a difficult season for her and we have tried to help her. It remains to be seen, of course, but we have hope it will be settled next year once and for all. Alas, this means we shall have to revamp a bedroom once again and put in a rose garden. She has made the right choice for spring to come. Balance is important and is as it must be. Earth, Water, Air, Fire.
(HO4S)
A pot of vegetable beef soup and fresh rolls sent their aromas wafting into the library and brought them back to the kitchen.
Ladling out the soup, she commented, “I love fall and the good foods that come with it, homey smells and tastes.”
“Is that all you love about fall?”
Toni turned. “Not all.”
“What else do you love?”
“The colors of the leaves, the smell of the forest, the cool crisp air.”
“Cold air, you mean. What else do you love?”
Toni bit her lip. “Pumpkins, gourds, roasted turkey, Terry Thorne.”
“Ah, after the turkey.”
“I think my list was upside down. You come first.” She handed him a bowl of soup and a spoon.
November turned cold and icy and yet Terry was up every morning at dawn running. Toni made sure he had warm, dry clothes and a fire when he got back. Sometimes the fire took place underneath the thick, warm, down comforter on his bed.
“I can’t believe how cold you are!” She gasped, his face buried in her breasts.
“Warm me, Toni.”
“I’m trying to, love.” Her hands were moving up and down his back. “I’m going to set you on fire.”
His head came up, his light eyes meeting hers. “Go ahead. Burn me.”
She did.
Thanksgiving found them in Rockport again at the same restaurant they’d gone to before. He’d mentioned Gloucester but Toni was afraid she might be recognized, especially since winter would be arriving soon.
“We should have gone there earlier in the season. We will next year. I’d like you to see it.”
“I’d like that. You don’t mind about the turkey, do you?”
“Not at all. It’s nice to have something different and we love lobster.”
It was a freezing day and by the time they got home it was dark. They took a bottle of whiskey upstairs and thawed from the inside out while soaking in Toni’s big tub.
“You remember the last time we did this?” she asked.
“Yeah, let’s do it again.”
It was freezing rain that greeted him when he left her in his bed on November 30th. He ran in place to get his blood pumping and set out toward the stables, noticing in passing that the horses were gone, gone back to wherever they go when they aren’t there. He had no idea how that magic worked. He didn’t like the idea of having to leave on this day but that’s the way it was. He was a soldier and some things he had to accept for the rest to happen, and the rest was everything. He’d married her for eternity. That was the strength of his love and devotion to her and that made him strong magic.
TON TO THE HEART IN WINTER
BACK TO A YEAR OF SUMMER
BACK TO SPRING LOVE BLOSSOMS
BACK TO PART 1 OF WINTER SOLSTICE
BACK TO BONFIRE OF THE HEART
BACK TO WHITE ROSES IN SUMMER
BACK TO SPRING CAME A CALLING
BACK TO WINTER MAGIC RETURNS
BACK TO FALL OF MY HEART, PART 1
BACK TO A SECOND SPRING, PART 1
BACK TO FALL, PART 1
BACK TO SUMMER, PART 1
BACK TO SPRING, PART 1
BACK TO WINTER
BACK TO BEGINNINGS
BACK TO LIBRISCROWE