RELUCTANT SPRING

(Follows Wild in Winter at The House of Four Seasons continuing  The Diarist’s Year with Hallie Madison. She meets Alex in SUMMER ROMANCE DISCOVERED. See list

at bottom of this page for all Hallie's seasons.)

By Atonia Walpole

Part 1

I’m not even sure he can come. There may be some rules I don’t know about. He may not even want to come after all, but I had a choice for Spring, I did, so…I didn’t want the House to send someone else for me to fall in love with. I’ve learned a few things about love and I know now how painful it can be. This past winter…well, there were times when I thought it might be best if I just pack up and leave but I made a deal with this House and with myself and so here I am looking at Spring, my final season, because my resolve has not wavered nor has my love for Alex Ross.

Anyway, the sun is out today and I saw a robin yesterday so I know the season is about to change.

She’d been upstairs lying across her bed, writing in her diary and hadn’t heard him come in, wasn’t aware there was anyone else in the House.

He went into the kitchen, to the fridge and pulled out a soft drink. Too early for beer though he thought he might be better prepared for this if he had a few. He went to the back door and looked out.

She closed her diary and sat up on her bed, sensing a change in the atmosphere, went to the balcony doors and opened them. The air was cool, almost too cool but it was fresh, coming from the sea. She realized then what it was…he was here.

“Andy…Andy?” she called, running down the stairs.

He met her in the hall. “Hey, Hallie. What the bloody hell have you done?”

“Well, um,” she smiled a little, “I didn’t trust the House, didn’t want any more surprises, so…you aren’t angry, are you?”

“No, not angry… a little confused maybe. I understand we’re all getting married now…you and I have to…”

“Yes, well, we have to…yes, because of Alex.”

“Okay, what say we just get it over with? I’ll conjure up a ring and we’ll be wed. No need to go through the whole affair, especially since we know how it’s going to end.”

“You can’t do that…can you?”

“I don’t know.” He took a drink from the soda can. “It never come up before.”

“You…you really don’t like me, do you? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called for you.”

Andy looked up at her, not quite sure why she evoked such feelings in him. A cross between fear and anger and…excitement. That big brother feeling he’d had when he brought her here seemed to have faded away. She was no longer the innocent he’d left a year ago.

“That’s not true. I do like you.” He said it quietly. She’d been moving toward the front door and stopped, turning and meeting his gaze.

“That wasn’t very nice of me.  I fell in love with Alex Ross last summer and he gave me a ring. We married just before he left. I didn’t want a fall or a winter after that but then Lachlan and East...I can’t imagine not… I’m glad I knew them but still my heart belongs to Alex. I’m sorry, Andy.”

“That’s okay. That’s the way it works. We know that. I’m…required to complete the circle, but it has to be real, otherwise I’d do it today and be out of your way. So…”

She’d made a mistake. She knew it now.

“Guess we’ll have to wait a while. I’m, uh, not used to being here as a season so I’ll have a look around outside, make sure everything is okay.”

“Oh, sure…sure.” She moved out of his way and he stopped at the door, turning to her.

“We’ll make it work…somehow.” And he went outside.

She blinked and backed against the wall. She hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from him. She couldn’t understand what was driving it unless he really did not like her and was just trying to be polite.

He walked toward the gate but turned off onto the pond path. It would take him meandering around through the woods for awhile. That’s what he needed, time to think, time alone. Maybe the problem was he knew this place too well, had brought many people through its gates since he’d been a guide. Sometimes it turned out well, a month or a year. Mostly it went by the month except for Toni. She’d lived there for six years. Blokes and sheilas paired up, fulfilling a fantasy. Well, the problem was he knew he wasn’t anybody’s fantasy. He was convenient, like an old coat by the doorway, and now somebody had grabbed  him at the last moment to fill in. Knowing all this, how could he fall in love? Why would he want to put himself in that position…a position to be hurt…and she could do it. He sighed and stopped, leaning on a tree. He could see it coming. He was going to be hurt. He’d fall for her and she’d fall for him or maybe not; just pretend to so she could get a ring on her finger and then bye, bye Andy, hello Alex.

Hallie wandered out on the terrace and then over to the bench by the cliff, her eyes filled with tears. It was going to be a long three months. Andy hated her. There was no way they would marry. She would never have Alex…

Andy made it to the pond and around to the gazebo. There were good vibes coming off the structure. It felt good to sit inside of it. All of a sudden he had a birds-eye view of himself sitting alone in the gazebo. What a fool he was! Make the best of it ,man! You’ve got three whole months of this, nothing but play and pleasure. Get what you can out of it 'cause you probably won’t be back and won’t ever see her again after the spring is over. He got up, swung himself out the door, glanced across the pond and began walking with his hands in his pockets. Three months he didn’t have to wash dishes. Hey, how bad could it be?

She was in the kitchen making a sandwich when she heard him on the terrace. She glanced out the window over the sink. He was looking for her. “I’m in here!” she called out.

Andy came into the kitchen and took in the sandwich making. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be gone so long.”

“That’s okay. I’m making club sandwiches. Would you like one?”

“Um, sure. Need some help?”

“Yes, thanks.” She’d forgotten his kitchen skills. He jumped right in without a thought, doing what needed doing.

“I know I was a little, um, ungrateful earlier. I apologize, Hallie.”

“It’s okay. I don’t blame you.”

“Are you making toast?" He began separating slices of bread and popping them in the toaster. “Well, you should. I mean, it’s like you’ve given me a gift and I threw it in your face. It’ll be okay. We’ll make it work for us.”

She stopped slicing the tomato and looked up into his green eyes. “Yes  we will.” They had to.

After their lunch was over they went outside, walking up toward the stables. Hallie noticed there were no horses and she felt a little sad. East’s horses…Maximus’ horses. Maximus was here one year ago.  “Do you ride horseback?”

“Um, no. I’m a city boy…”

“I learned to ride here. I’ve learned to fly, too.”

“Yeah, I guess you’ve learned a lot over the past year.” He glanced up at her sideways.

“I didn’t have a choice really. Once I decided to stay I will say this, though, everyone has been really, really nice to me.  All very different but…good.”

“What are you going to do when your year is up…assuming things go as planned for you and Alex?”

She looked sharply at him. “Well, I’m going back to school and maybe do something with primary education, a day school or something…or I may just be married and have a family.”

“Nothing concrete, then?”

“No, not yet. There’s time to make plans, plenty of time. Some people aren’t meant to go to college and have careers.”

“I guess that’s true. I’m a perfect example. I’m a glorified dishwasher. I don’t plan to be all my life but until something else comes along…”

She looked at him strangely. He was a movie character and as she’d learned over the past year, their lives were preordained, in a loop. She smiled a little. It was sad, really. He hadn’t a future unless…but then she wasn’t going to…oh…she thought of East and Lachlan.

“What’s wrong?” She stopped with her fist in her mouth.  Andy took her arm and turned her around facing him.

“It’s this whole thing, this whole magic thing. It’s just not…good. East saw that. He recognized it.”

“You take it for what it is, Hallie, and don’t take it so seriously. Three more months and it’s over for you.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Hey, we seem to be saying that a lot to each other. Let’s don’t be sorry.” He lifted her chin and kissed her softly.

This wasn’t a brotherly kiss. His lips sucked her in and she responded.

“See how easy it is,” he said against her lips and kissed her again.

Her arms went around him. He felt different from East. He was slimmer, younger…he was going to…right here in the stable.

He pushed it. No need to fool around. This is where it was all headed anyway. She was good, she was hot and he enjoyed her to the limit. She couldn’t believe how…well, he’d always been so…but he wasn’t. She clung to him, not wanting it to end.

He eased himself off her and smiled, kissing her and then pulling hay from her hair. “This could be fun, ya know.”

“Mmm, yes.” He was delicious.

Part 2

Andy kept things moving. Sex was good between them, hot and fun. He brought out the crazy, silly side of her. They played along the beach, along the woodland paths and in the House. For his part he was trying to fulfill his half of the bargain. She was taken with him, he knew that, but whether it was love or something else he wasn’t sure. He tried to keep himself separated from what he was actually doing and what he was actually feeling. That bit, the feeling bit, he kept buried under his lighthearted banter.

Hallie was having a ball with Andy. He was fun, he was sexy…he was there. Days would go by without a thought of Alex and when she’d catch herself, she felt guilty and would go quiet. How could she forget…she never forgot…not ever, not with Lachlan or East.

He’d been there for a month. No mention was ever made of marriage between them, of the thing that had to be done. It was raining outside and they’d exhausted cards for a while. Andy found something to read and plopped on the library sofa. Hallie found a book as well and sat down on the other end of the sofa. She kept peeping over the top of her book at him, the way the lamplight shone in his dark hair, his dark lashes. He was so good looking so…

“Don’t stare at me.”

“I’m not.”

“I felt your eyes.”

“Sorry,” she smiled and hid behind her book. He was sensitive, too.

“Are you bored?”

“I’m reading,” she answered.

He stared at her over his book, her long fingers, the way her top hugged her breasts, the V of her jeans. No way was he reading. 

It was a cool day in mid-April and they’d been on quite a hike over the property. Andy dropped the backpack down by a stream flowing rapidly over the rocks. “Looks like a good place, eh?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, what’s on your mind? You’ve been quiet for over an hour and that’s not like you.”

Hallie drew her knees up as she sat on a log. “I’ve been wondering about you. You’ve been here a month and a half now. Sometimes I think we’re okay, you know, that…we care…that…more than that. And then sometimes I think you’re just marking time until you can leave. You don’t want to be here, do you?”

“Truth is I don’t want to be here because I know where we’re headed. You’re a lot of fun, Hallie. I like being with you. What is it you want? Do you want the L word brought out, is that it? Are we falling in love?  It’s pointless…for me. I’m going to get my heart broken. Maybe I want to put that off as long as I can. If I start spouting love words now…what the bloody hell am I going to do?” Then he had an idea. “We could shorten this whole ordeal. That’s what it is for both of us. Oh, yeah, you, too. I know because I’m not the one you want. I could tell you I love you. I could say I’d like to spend eternity with you. I could ask you…”

She looked into his eyes. He meant what he was saying. Oh, when had that happened? “To marry? It’s what’s required, isn’t it. You have to ask me…”

“Yeah, we both knew that from day one. I probably could have shortened this earlier, but I really have enjoyed spending time with you. It would have been better for me if I had…”

“Oh, Andy!” She reached for him and he backed away.

“Of course all you have to say is, yes, I’ll marry you. Go ahead, accept my lame proposal.”

“Is that…are you really asking me?”

“Yeah…will you marry me for eternity, magically forever?”

“Yes…I will.”

He pulled a ring set with pearls and diamonds from his pocket and slipped it on her finger. “Then we’re married.” He wouldn’t look her in the eye.

“Andy…Andy…”

“It’s done. You can, um, go ahead and call Alex or I can for you. Let him know he’s in.”

“Don’t …”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t …be this way. You don’t understand. I do…love you.”

“Yeah…well, that’s the way it is. So, um, tomorrow be soon enough? I can call him tonight, tell him to kiss his movie goodbye. He can be here tomorrow and you can leave with him. We don’t have to play this out. There’s no need.”

She got up and moved away from him. This wasn’t what she expected…but from him why should she be surprised? He’d been full of them. Love…she turned and looked at him. He was unpacking their lunch. She did love him…seriously love him and wasn’t quite ready to give him up. There, she’d admitted it to herself. She was enjoying her time with him, too. “Andy, I’m not sure I want this to be our last day together. You’ve just married me. We haven’t even consummated our…I do love you.”

“Good."  He stood and walked toward her. “That’s the way it’s supposed to work. I’d hate to think I fell all by myself. Don’t worry, we’ll consummate our marriage, all night long.” He pulled her close and kissed her.

“I’ve known from the first time I saw you that you were something special and I threw up all kinds of protective gear around me when I found myself here as your season. I’ve been pretending it doesn’t matter, saying just get through three months. You can do anything for three months. Hallie, I’m fucked, so it’s best that we get him here before I do something stupid.”

Hallie took his face in her hands and kissed him. She couldn’t speak and her kisses were salty from tears. She’d been with him for a month and a half, slept with him, bathed with him, eaten her meals with him, talked and played, and now he was going to bring it to an end, just like that.

He held her close and spoke into her hair somewhere around her ear. “It can only get worse, don’t you see? Another month and…it’s better this way. We’re just playing at love. It ain’t going anywhere. It can’t. You’ve had it all planned out.”

“I know but, Andy, it’s not easy. It’s...I don’t want you to go. I truly have fallen in love with you.”

“Well…” he backed away moving out of her arms, “nothing has changed with you, though. It’s still Alex, isn’t it? We’d better have lunch and, um, start back. It’s a long walk.”

Hallie went through the motions, eat lunch, pack up, walk back, holding his hand some of the time but he kept pulling away, lighting cigarettes, hand to the pocket, adjusting the backpack…creating a distance. She glanced at him from time to time. He was serious now. All the lightheartedness was gone from his eyes, that sparkle, that look that drew her into him. She had no one but herself to blame. She shouldn’t have brought him here. It wasn’t fair to him and that mattered. It mattered because she truly did love him.

They showered, not together but separately, once they reached the House. He walked out on the back terrace and sent the request to the magical place that would bring Alex to Hallie.

She’d bathed quickly and came downstairs with her hair still wet.  “Andy…” She stopped at the back door. He turned with a cigarette in his hand.

“You’re not…not leaving right now?”

“No, I’ll stay tonight but I’ll be gone by the time you wake up. Hey, think about it. When you wake up Alex will be on his way. He might even be here depending on how long you sleep. The thing is, Hallie, you’ll need to leave within 24 hours with him. Don’t forget that.”

Her gaze hadn’t wavered. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“It’s where it was all headed when you came here. Don’t feel bad about it. We all knew. Hey, I felt sorry for Lachlan coming on the heels of Alex. Must have been tough for him. Something you need to know…we’ve all married you and even though you’re leaving with Alex, we’re all still bound together by that magical marriage. If ever you need us for anything…if Alex doesn’t treat you right, you’d better believe we’ll be there…all of us, because we love you, Hallie.”

She ran to him and threw her arms around him.

What the hell. It was all over now. Andy let himself go, let himself love her for the rest of the day and through the night. He left just before daybreak, walking quietly away from the House, looked back once and then slipped through the gates.

Part 3

Hallie woke early. She hadn’t meant to sleep at all, wanting to hold onto every moment with Andy, but the sun had breached the horizon and sent a ray through her balcony doors. She was alone in the bed and knew instantly that she was alone in the House. “Oh!” Her hand went to her mouth, touching her lips where he’d left his kisses. She raised her knees and rested her head on them, some thoughts finding their way to the surface. Had she been too hasty? Should she have signed on for another year or two? Would anyone ever mean as much to her as Alex? Andy…oh, Andy was close.

Out of bed, she went to the tub and had a long soak. She dressed in a skirt and sweater set she found on the bed, slipped her feet into flats and went out into the hall. Andy’s room was closed up now, all traces of his presence gone. She shook her head, trying to rid her mind of him. Today was Alex. Alex was coming  to take her away.

She looked down at her hand and ran back up the stairs. She still had Andy’s ring on her finger. In the old jewelry box she found Alex’s wedding ring and slipped it on her left hand. Walking to the balcony, she looked out at the sea. It still looked blue with cold but Spring was nearly over. Soon it would be back gray-green…summer…Alex. She stepped back in and went down for breakfast.

She picked at her meal, drank her coffee and wandered back outside. Why doesn’t he come? I am so ready for him to be here. I’ve waited a year almost. Well, not really but anyway…through two and a half seasons. I went through all that for you, Alex. Hurry…

Down by the cliff, she walked along the edge, letting the wind whip her hair and skirt around.  It was the right thing to do. I knew it from the time I met him he was the one…the one who was going to claim my heart forever. So why am I this way today? Perhaps it’s all I’ve been through. Sweet Lachlan, wild East, Andy…oh, but all that is behind me now. I’ve learned a lot about love and I’m ready now. I know how to love him…if he’d only come…”  She turned toward the house, holding her hair back with a hand.

Alex parked his car in the drive, not bothering with the garage. He tipped his hat back. It was still spring but he didn’t care. Too bad, Andy. Smart man to know when his time was up. He left his jacket over the seat and walked to the House. Beautiful place but he didn’t reckon he’d ever be able to afford something like this. He went through the House, sensing she wasn’t inside and stopped at the back door. What a picture she made against the sea beyond, hair, skirt flying. He smiled and stepped out of the door onto the terrace.

“Hey, little girl…going my way?”

“Alex!” She broke into a run, meeting him in the grass. He caught her up and kissed her. “I was beginning to wonder…I didn’t know. Maybe you’d decided you didn’t want to come away with me.”

“Silly girl! Are you ready to go?”

“Just like that?”

“Um, something you want to do, pack, take? Car’s only so big, ya know.”

“I’m packing my clothes, that’s all. Oh, Alex, I can’t believe it! It’s been so long!” She went into his arms again, drinking in his scent, the feel of him. Yes, this was right. This was definitely the one.

He enjoyed her kisses. “I’m thinking we should get on the road. I mean, Hallie, we don’t even know where we’re going yet.”

“Boston?”

“Is that it?”

“It’s close by, good-sized city and they have newspapers and all kinds of publications I bet you could get on.”

“Hm…yeah, and we’ll need a place to stay. I found a credit card and all kinds of money in my wallet so we’ve got a start, doll. You and me, kid, we’re gonna make it.” He kissed her and grabbed her hand, leading her though the House.

Upstairs she pulled her bag from the wardrobe and threw her clothes inside, all of them that the house had provided. Alex wandered down the hall while she packed and found his own room open. He went through his wardrobe and packed a bag, too. His period clothes might be fun if you were larking about but he would need some modern things and the House had provided them. He tossed the leather satchel out in the hall, took one last look in his room and closed the door.

“Hallie, are you all packed up now?”

Hallie was taking a last look, too, around her room and out onto the balcony. She had some good memories here. “I’m ready, Alex!” she called and turned. He’d come into her room and slid his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.

Alex was ready to leave now that he knew what was about to happen. The dreams they had the summer before were about to be realized. “There’s nothing else here for us, doll. Let’s take it down the road.”

Hallie turned in his arms, smiling. “I’m ready. Let’s go.” She could hardly believe it now that it was happening. She had her Alex Ross and a life stretched out before them.

Excited and happy, they drove through the gates, out into the real world.

Once they left Salem Alex began to really notice how different things were from what he knew. After a while he moved over and let Hallie drive. He’d been quiet for some time after they stopped at a fast food place just outside of Boston.

Hallie sensed his distress. He was nervous and smoking a lot of cigarettes. Finally she pulled into a gas station and parked.

“What’s wrong, Alex?”

“I’m just realizing something I should have thought about earlier. I’ve jumped about a half century in less than six hours. I’m not sure I can function here.”

“Of course you can! You’re smart. You can adapt. It won’t take long. We’re in the city limits of Boston. We can stay here or keep going.”

“We have to find a place to stay.” He looked at her, realizing how much he was going to have to depend on her until he could get his bearings. It went against his 1950’s mindset.

Hallie, too, realized she was going to have to lead. “Let’s just get a hotel room for the night. Tomorrow we can look around. No hurry, you know." She found a Holiday Inn and checked them in with Alex at her side. He saw how things went. You used that plastic card he carried in his wallet. That was another thing. He didn’t like racking up debt. You paid as you went. Once checked in, he counted out the money in his wallet.

“Three thousand dollars. That’s a lot of money.”

Hallie emptied hers, too. She also had $3,000. “It’s not as much as you might think.  We have $6,000 between us and credit cards."

“Yeah, about the credit cards, doll. They have to be paid. I gotta find a job.”

“Alex, how could we have credit cards without an address? Have you got a driver’s license?” Her eyes went wide. There were so many things to think about.

He picked up his wallet and looked inside, staring at his license. “They put pictures on them now?”

“Where do you live?” she asked with a half grin.

“Oh…224 Maple Avenue, Boston, Mass. I already live here?”

Hallie bounced across the bed and took his wallet from him, examining his driver’s license and credit cards. He had two, one for gas. She looked up at him. “We need to find this place and see.”

Downstairs at the desk she was able to obtain a city map and they went out to find Maple Avenue.

The House, knowing their dream from the year before, had bought them a house in an older neighborhood. The house was built in the 1950’s and so it would appear modern to Alex but the appliances and heating and air conditioning were all new. The purchase of the house had all been done online and the young couple would discover there wasn’t a mortgage. It was fully furnished. All it needed was for them to walk through the door.

They would also discover a checking account and a savings account in the papers filed in the desk in Alex’s office, a small room off the front entrance of the brick bungalow. But all this was to come. Hallie had just discovered her driver’s license had been replaced in her wallet. She was now Hallie Ross and also lived at 224 Maple Avenue.

They were beginning.

These are the previous Diarist seasons:

SPRING AWAKENING (Maximus)

SUMMER ROMANCE DISCOVERED (Alex)

HARD FALL (Lachlan)

WILD IN WINTER (East)

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