Home and Family

Direct sequel to After Bolivia

By Atonia Walpole

(Picture creations also by Atonia)

Part 1

“G’Day, Connie, I believe you have something I need.” Terry smiled and gave Connie a hug and she received a kiss.

“I do and here it comes now.” Connie turned as Jacky came around her to his daddy.

“Hiya, son!” Terry picked up Jacky and gave him a hug and a kiss. “I’ve missed you.”

Jacky gave him love.

“Come in, Connie. Max not with you?”

“He’s at the bank, something about paying for Christmas and plane fares,” she smiled, going past him into the townhouse carrying Maxi.

“Oh, you’re here!” Toni came up from the kitchen and grabbed her son from Terry. “Hello, sweetie.”

“We really appreciate your doing this for us.”

“No problem, Terry. Too many flights for you and, like I said, Max wanted to stop by the bank. He’s been a dear, no problem at all.”

“We owe you one,” Toni said, putting Jacky down and taking Maxi.

“You might pay up tonight, Max thought maybe we, just the two of us, might have a night out without kids.”

“You’ve got it,” Terry said, walking Jacky back to the lounge.

“You’re looking good, Terry, after that dive you took off the cliff. I still can’t believe it.”

“Neither can I when I think about it, but then a week at the House of Four Seasons can do wonders for your health.”

“Oh, I bet it was wonderful, complete peace and quiet.”

“Quiet…Toni was with me.” He grinned and found a seat on the sofa. Jacky went to check out his toy box.

Toni came in with Maxi. “He’s changed so much since Christmas. What a little man you are!” she cooed at the baby.

“Did you enjoy the House, Toni?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s been a long time since we were there. It’s still magic,” she smiled at Terry.

“I thought you might be at work. Are you taking some time off?” Connie asked Terry.

“Just a couple of days. I’ll go back next week. Wyatt thought a few days leave since I was dead would be appropriate,” he chuckled.

“It would suit me if he took a long leave but I know him. He’d go bonkers around the house all day.”

“You know sometimes I think Max needs something to occupy him. He gets restless”

“Why can’t he trade from home? He does it from his flat.”

“I’m not sure, Terry. I don’t think he wants to bring that into the atmosphere of the chateau. For him those are totally separate worlds.”

“He’s hardly had time to get restless. My goodness, he was in Virginia for Christmas, back home for a little over a week and then back in Virginia for the rest of January, back home for a week and now in London. He must be pretty tired of planes, too.”

“He has been doing a lot of traveling, Toni.”

“What’s the latest on Penny and Jean Paul?” Toni tucked her feet up under her.

“Oh, she went to Paris to meet him and stayed around a couple of days then they both came to Chambord and announced their engagement. He’d bought her a gorgeous ring so she’s pinning away right now because he’s gone back to Paris to work with his band.”

“Whatever will they do? Where will they live?”

“I think she’ll end up in Paris, I really do, but of course we’ve not said anything to Dad about that possibility. I know he’s going to end up rambling around in that huge place all by himself.”

“None of my business, but does he have a lady friend?”

“Lady friend?” Terry looked at her with a little smile.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” she looked back.

“Actually he does. She’s a notaire in Gordes. He goes up to see her about once a week.”

“Do you think?”

“I’m glad he has someone to share things with. She handles all his legal matters and they’ve taken a few trips together. Switzerland I think was the last one.”

“Good for him. I thought he was much too vibrant to be alone. Have they set a wedding date yet?”

“Not yet but they’ve got the place all picked out in Paris. I’m sure you’ll be getting an invitation.”

“Oh good, maybe this time I can do a little shopping while I’m there.”

“You should have shopped the last time you were there,” Terry glanced over.

“If I had, we wouldn’t have Jack.”

“He wouldn’t have died, Toni. Haven’t you read the books?” Terry asked.

“No, he’s real to me. I don’t want to go there. You weren’t with him to know how sick he was.”

“I’m glad he’s still around,” Connie said.

“He always will be.”

“How long did he stay? You never said.”

“After New Years, he stayed a week. He rode your Bounder and said he was a fine animal.”

“We’ll go back in summer, Toni. I know you miss your horses.”

“They’re yours, too, though they hardly know you.”

Terry and Toni invited Connie for lunch in the kitchen.  Jacky was in his high chair and Maxi in his car seat, sitting on the floor by the table. Jacky kept dropping things on him like a pea or a piece of carrot.

“I think he’s trying to feed him,” Connie laughed. "He doesn’t have any teeth, Jacky.”

“He’s hungry, though,” Terry said, “likes the smell of real food.”

“Oh, he does, does he?” Connie raised a brow.

“Yeah, he does.” Terry reached for a roll.

“How do you know?” Toni angled her head.

Terry grinned a little. “We know, don’t we, Jacky.”

“I think I’d better move him.” Connie leaned over and put his car seat on the other side of her.

“He’s too young, Terry.”

“Too young for what?” Connie asked.

“He’s doing that mental thing. He and Jacky do it all the time. Drives me mental,” Toni frowned.

“Oh…so you can connect with him already?”

“Hey, kid has wants and needs.” Terry smiled.  “He can’t voice them yet or talk back but he will one day.”

“Speaking of mental, why did you say what you did to Max?” Connie asked.

“Bollocks?”

“Ter-ry, Jacky’s here.”

“Sorry. Because I thought he would get it. It was something only he would know and something I would never say unless I was trying to reach him. I didn’t have time for a whole sentence dropping as fast as I was from the cliff. But now that’s our password, or mine to him.”

“What’s his to you?” Toni asked.

“Holy snapping arseholes, something he would never say. It’s an Aussie thing.”

Connie laughed, “You’re right about that!”

Part 2

“Obviously London didn’t know I was coming, caught unawares,” Max smiled, walking to the French doors that led out to the balcony. “Lovely weather. I usually bring rain.”

“You’re just a ray of sunshine today, aren’t you?” Terry teased him, knowing he wasn’t in a very good mood for some reason.

Max turned from the doors and sat on the sofa. “Hard day in the mines.”

“You work one day every six months and you’re complaining. You should work one of mine.”

“No thanks.” Max looked Terry over. He’d been to the House of Four Seasons for a week so naturally his body was healed from his ordeal in Bolivia. He wondered about the other. “How are ya?”

“Good, even the scar is gone.”

“Is it?”

Terry let out a breath. “Toni’s been great. You know you can heal the body but the mind takes a little longer. I’ll beat it.”

“Are you um able to, um…”

“Yeah, you can’t spend a week at the House without making love. I was okay there but once we got home a couple of days ago, it's, ah…I don’t sleep well.”

“I still think you should see a quack.” Max leaned back on the sofa.

“I’ll be okay, Max. Just give me some time. I’m glad to be home. Got a few days off to get myself together.”

“You can take as much time off as you want to. You sound like an employee instead of an employer.”

Terry looked at him a moment. “So what are you doing at the bank?”

Max smiled. He didn’t like to talk about himself. “Oh, making a few pounds. It’s been an expensive two months.”

“How much do I owe you? I know you’ve spent a bundle flying back and forth on my account.”

“Do you think I’d take money from you? “

“I really need to thank you for taking Jacky for a week and then flying him home.”

“Ah, now that you might owe me for. He talks my head off and is never still. I can tell you we’ve walked and talked about everything on my property this past week.”

Terry grinned, “Now you know what you’ve got coming to you once Maxi learns to talk.”

“Yes, I do…”

“Got something on your mind?”

Max examined the cuff on his slacks. “I guess it’s in my blood or something, being in the bank today, feeling the rush…”

“Need a job?”

“Actually I’ve got one if I want it…thing is…I want it. And that doesn’t sit well with me because I don’t live here anymore. One half of me wants and the other half doesn’t. So what do you do?”

“How bad do you want it?”

“I don’t know. I get antsy sitting around, not that there aren’t things to do or things to keep me busy at the chateau. I envy you. At least you get up in the morning, dress and go to the office when you aren’t falling off cliffs. You must have some feeling of accomplishment when you come home in the evening. I get up and decide jam or jelly. It’s not enough.”

“I’ll tell ya, mate, I’m amazed you’ve held out this long. Isn’t there something local, some bank or lending operation you could take over?”

“Are you kidding? No… there are only small branches in our valley anyway.”

“Not enough action for ya?”

“No. It’s alive here in London. You can feel the heartbeat walking down the street.”

“You could commute. Lot of people do.”

“I know…weekends at home at La Siroque and work week here in London. I’ve thought about it. Just not sure I want to miss that much of my son’s life.”

“How about Connie? Have you talked to her about this?”

“Not yet. Thought I might tonight but I’ve got to get my plan in place first. I don’t think she’s going to like it.”

“She can’t come over here?”

“Sure she could. We could clean out my office in the flat and make a room for Maxi. We’ll see. It’s my problem.” Max turned, hearing Toni and Connie on the balcony. They’d been down in the garden.

“Have you got something stronger than this tea?” Max asked.

“You know your way around here. Help yourself. Looking for courage?”

“Yes, in whatever form it takes. You know I’m a wimp.”

“I don’t know anything of the kind, mate. You’re strong when you need to be. You won’t have a problem.”

Max did know his way around the Thorne’s home. He’d already ditched his tie and shoes and now helped himself to a drink. He’d always felt at home here. Terry looked him up and down in his sock feet and smiled.

“Maybe you could work out something to work a few days a week, equal time, ya know?”

“They want me Monday through Thursday. I know that’s a generous offer on their part.” He turned, drink in hand, and padded back to the French doors. Connie and Toni were sitting at a table talking. Gates had been installed on the stairs so Jacky was riding his scooter around and Maxi was getting a bit of sunshine. Why wouldn’t it work? She could live here…or not. He sighed.

“How is Terry, Toni…really?” Connie asked.

“Max told you?”

“Yes. He didn’t want to but I knew he was hiding something and I got it out of  him.”

“I’m glad he’s got Max to talk to. He and Terry are close and I’m glad for that.”

“Oops, Max is at the door. Are you coming out?” Connie called.

Max held up his drink and smiled, “Want a drink before we go?”

“I don’t think so, darling. Why would I need a drink before I go out for a drink?” Connie chuckled to Toni.

“Hmm, I don’t know but he seems to...look at him, no shoes. He just comes in here and makes himself at home.” Toni smiled and waved at Max, who turned back to the lounge.

“He says he feels at home here. That’s because you’re here, Toni.”

“Oh, don’t blame it on me!” Toni laughed. “Terry lives here, too.”

Max found his tie and put it and his jacket back on, finished the drink he had and turned to Terry, who’d settled back on the sofa after taking the tea tray back down to the kitchen.

“I’m going to test my powers of persuasion tonight. Connie doesn’t really like living in London. Wish me luck.”

“You know you’ve got it. Maybe Toni can help you? She’s at home here and it would be someone for her to go around with, ya know?”

“It may come to that. I had shoes on when I came in here…”

“Under the other sofa.” Terry watched Max find his shoes and get himself together. He’d never seen him nervous before. He really wanted the job.

Connie got up from the table on the balcony and kissed Maxi, handing him over to Toni. “Be a good boy for auntie tonight.”

“He’ll be fine, Connie.” Toni got up, too, and followed her inside. Jacky came in with his scooter, pushing himself across the shining floors.

Max went over and took Maxi for a minute, giving him a kiss and a snuggle before handing him back to Toni. He met her eyes for a moment and then turned to Connie. “Are we ready?”

Toni wondered what that look meant, almost a pleading in his eyes. “Have a good time.”

Terry walked with them to the door and waved them off. Closing the door he turned to Toni. “Max wants to go to work and he’s got to convince Connie that’s a good thing.”

Toni bit her lip. “I wish him luck.”

Part 3

“So here we are.” Connie sipped her drink. “It’s been awhile since we’ve been just…us.”

“Yes, it has. You know if we lived in London we’d have more nights like this.”

“You mean Toni and Terry would babysit for us?”

“Yes, they would, and we’d do the same for them. We could also meet and do family things together.” Max sipped his drink and looked at her. “You know I love this city.”

“I know you do, at times.”

Max set his glass down. “I’ve been offered a job here with the bank. I want to know what you think about that?”

Connie slowly set her glass down. “I thought you’d turned them down?”

”They’ve made another offer, Monday through Thursday. The salary is inconsequential but the bonuses are something to think about.”

“Is it down to money, Max? I thought you were fairly well off.”

He smiled, “The correct thing to say is, are you satisfied? We are financially secure, Connie, you know that. You’re a bookkeeper.” He took another drink.

“So you aren’t satisfied, is that what you’re telling me?”

“What I’m telling you is I need something to do besides count grape vines.”

“I’ve known that for some time but I never thought…London.”

“I have.” He leaned on the table. “We could clean out my office and make a bedroom for Maxi. You’d have Toni and Terry here for company until you made new friends.”

“Max, you’re talking about moving to London…my home is in France.”

“We could have two homes, one for weekends and one for….” He looked at her face.

“This is not something I want, Max.”

“Will you not even think about it?”

“I’ve lived here before. I know what it is. I left here and went to Provence. Why would I want to come back?”

“Connie, you haven’t lived here with me. It would be different. I swear to you it would. I don’t know how it was for you before. I know you were unhappy in your marriage…we aren’t unhappy…are we?”

“No, we aren’t. I love you, Max. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“That’s not what I want. I want you to be a part of it. I’ve got an opportunity here to do something I think I need to do, I feel I need to do. I feel like I’m vegetating sitting around in the chateau every day. I need something, Connie. I need to work”

“I’ve thought that myself. You could get into what Dad’s doing, selling his wine. He makes frequent trips trying to pick up sponsors and outlets.”

“I’m not a salesman…that’s quite evident.” He picked up his drink and finished it. “I don’t peddle wine. That’s not who I am, Connie.”

“Who are you then? Are you the winemaker or the banker?”

“Why can’t I be both? They’re two sides of a coin; the coin is me.”

“I hope you don’t expect me to make a decision tonight. I need to think about this and what’s best for Maxi.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he smiled and picked up his menu. He mentally kicked himself all over the floor. She wasn’t going to buy it. He knew it down to the shoes on his feet.

They placed their order for dinner and Max ordered another drink. He noticed Connie was nursing hers. “We don’t have to be home at a particular time tonight, you know.”

“I know.”

“We could just let ourselves go…have a good dinner and…”

“Max, you’ve given me a lot to think about tonight.”

“Don’t think anymore tonight,” he smiled. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves, have another drink.”

Connie twisted her wine glass...living in London….

“Here’s to a night on our own." Max picked up his glass

Connie picked up hers, too, and touched his glass. “Anight on our own.” She smiled but somehow  her heart wasn’t in it.

Toni fed Maxi and got him ready for bed. Terry had volunteered to take care of Jacky and had seen him through the wetting that was his bath and diapered and dressed him for bed. He brought him into the bedroom to say good night to his mummy. He was more interested in Maxi than his mum.

“Why is it I think he’s not going down?” Toni looked at Terry.

“He’s got a cousin to play with,” Terry smiled, watching the two of them on the bed. Jacky was very careful around Maxi, not jumping on him or falling on him. He liked to watch him.

“Maxi’s not quite up to that yet.” Toni lay back on her arm on the bed with Maxi close to her and Jacky on the other side of him.

“Where do you want to put him tonight? I can bring down the bassinet or maybe the play pen.”

“The bassinet. It has wheels and if Jacky gets rowdy we can wheel him in here.”

Terry went up to the third floor and brought down the bassinet. Anna, the nanny, had not been reemployed since they came back from Virginia. He wondered why Toni hadn’t called her in and made a mental note to ask her.

He set the bassinet in Jacky’s room which connected with theirs through the bathroom and walked back through, picking up the damp towels and throwing them in a hamper.

Toni was fascinated watching Jacky and Maxi. Jacky had his attention, showing him a vinyl dinosaur. She wondered if there was any communication between them at this point. Maxi was too young, really, for that but he was quietly being amused by his cousin.

“Baby Maxi,” Jacky said plainly.

“Yes, baby,” Toni smiled, rubbing his head.

“My baby. Maxi my baby.”

“You think he’s yours?” Terry asked, lying on the bed. “He belongs to Uncle Max.”

“Uncle Mas Baby…my baby.”

Terry made a face, “It’s time for you to go to bed, Jacky.”

In the end he wouldn’t go to bed until Maxi was in his bassinet in the same room. Toni was amazed how quiet they both were and kept checking on them while Terry roamed the TV with the remote.

She climbed up on the bed with him. “Any chance of getting an early night, you think?”

“We could give it a try, luv. Anything you want to watch on TV?”

“Can’t think of a thing,” she smiled at him.

Toni knew Terry didn’t sleep well. If she woke in the night he was always awake or feigning sleep, something else that bothered her. She knew what it was but until he was ready to open up to her there wasn’t much she could do but reassure him and love him and that came easy for her.

Knowing Maxi would be up around 5:30 or 6:00 for a feeding, Toni got ready for bed. Terry did, too, and cuddled Toni for awhile. A week at the House had helped him a lot but Toni let him initiate lovemaking. The few times she’d tried he’d about jumped out of the bed when she touched him. She’d buried her head in her pillow. That was something they both had done as long as they’d known each other, was to touch in sleep. But now she couldn’t touch him. He’d come near tears apologizing but she just held him until his breathing and heartbeat became normal.

She quietly got out of bed at 5:00. Terry had at last gone to sleep and she went into the nursery hoping to catch Maxi before he cried out and woke Jacky. She made his bottle and took him down the hall to a guest room to feed him. He was such a good baby and he was Max’s baby; that made him all the more special to Toni. He was going to be awake for awhile so she lay down on the bed with him. He was cooing and smiling when she talked to him.

Terry found her and Maxi both asleep two hours later and he stood there by the bed looking at her with the baby with tears in his eyes. He looked up at the ceiling. Something had to be done and he was going to have to do it.

Wiggins had breakfast on the table and they gathered in the kitchen, Jacky in his high chair pulled to the table and Maxi in Jacky’s old jumper seat.

“What time are they coming for Maxi?” Terry asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think Connie said what time,” Toni answered

“Do you think you can handle both of them for awhile?”

“Well, sure. How long? Have you got somewhere to go?”

“Um, yeah, probably only a couple of hours.” Terry was placing food on Jacky’s plate

“Okay.” She looked up at him but he wasn’t meeting her gaze. She didn’t question him.

Part 4

The evening had not gone quite like Max had hoped. Connie had finally agreed to whatever he wanted to do, something that irritated him to no end. He wanted her to want it or at least fight it with words and actions. She’d done neither. He told himself he should be satisfied he’d got what he wanted after all, but he wasn’t because he knew she really didn’t want to live in London, She would martyr herself for him and every time he looked at her he would know.

On the other hand he could meekly go back to France and count grapevines or worse still, peddle his wine. He was up early, leaning over his balcony looking down at the early morning traffic on the Thames. He began to think about a house in the country. At least she would only be an hour or so away, no flight involved. Perhaps a small cottage outside of London. He remembered the drive out to St. Albans, lovely area…a small village….

Connie woke in the bed alone, wrapped the comforter around her and walked, trailing it behind her into the lounge. The door was open to the balcony. She could see him leaning over looking at the water.  She went to put the kettle on and then walked into the doorway. “You’re letting out all the heat, Max.”

“Oh, sorry.” He smiled a little and went to close the door.

“Come back in. I’ve put the kettle on for a cup of tea.”

“Right.” He closed the door behind him. “Um, I was thinking. I know you don’t want to live in the city, Connie. That’s a given even though you said you would. What if we found a little cottage in the country, some nearby village?”

“A cottage, small cottage? We have a chateau, darling.”

“Yes, I know, but it’s in France, love.”

“How often do you think we might get back to the chateau?”

“Oh, I don’t know, once-twice a month maybe. The other alternative is for you to go back to France and leave me here to commute on weekends. I find that most unsatisfactory for many reasons. I don’t want to be apart from you and Maxi.”

“I don’t understand this burning desire you’ve suddenly developed to work at the bank. We’ve been married for a year and a bit and except for the occasional rumblings and moneymaking trips to the bank you’ve not said a word about going to work. Why now?”

Max took his mug of tea. “I have within me a desire to compete. Working occasionally doesn’t fill that desire; it only whets it. I begin to feel useless at the Chateau. Duflot has it all in hand. I don’t have the talents of your father for developing and making wine nor the desire to peddle it. This is what I know, this is what I’m good at. I’m trying to come up with something we both can live with. I don’t want you to say yes because I want you to. You have to want it, too, and I can’t make you.”

“I have no objections to looking at cottages in small villages if that will make you happy, Max.”

“Don’t do that…just…don’t!” He turned away in his seat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Yes…you did. We each make little sacrifices to live together. That’s what people do who are married. One doesn’t always bow to the other.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.” Connie got up from the table.

He didn’t know either…a little spirit? “If you’re absolutely opposed to living in England in any shape or form then say so but for God’s sake give me a reason for it. Memories of a bad marriage is not enough.”

Connie went into the bedroom and shut the door.

Toni answered the door at half past nine.  “I didn’t expect you this early. Come in.”

“Are you just up?” Max asked, kissing her cheek.

He smelled good as he always did. “No, been up for a couple of hours and had breakfast. How about you? Have you eaten?”

“Yes…I think so.” He wandered into the lounge and found Maxi in the jumper chair.

“Where’s Connie?”

“She was in the shower when I left the flat. Where’s Terry?”

“I’m not sure I know. He asked if I could handle both boys for awhile on my own and he left. Maybe a couple of hours he said. Jacky’s on the balcony wanting to go down in the garden. I was just about to take them down.”

Max took his son from the chair and followed her out on the balcony. “Hello, Jacky.”

“Unkie Mas!” He ran over and grabbed Max around the knees.

“Going to play in the garden?”

“Yah,” he nodded his head and picked up a couple of lorries to take with him.

“It didn’t take long,” Max observed, “as soon as London found out I was here it hid the sunshine away again.”

Toni smiled, “It’s not sunshine season, love. February is usually wet and cold. You should know that.”

“Yes, I do know that.” They moved down to the bricked courtyard outside the kitchen door, Max running after Jacky while Toni held Maxi and found a seat at the table.

“When is your flight home?” she asked, teasing Maxi with a leaf.

“I don’t know that I’m going quite yet.”

“Ooooh, you must explain that one.”

Satisfied Jacky was off the steps and making roads on the bricked yard, he sat down and told Toni about his plans for working again. He told her about Connie and about the cottage he thought might work.

“It’s a kind of compromise for her.”

“She turned it down?”

“No, not…it’s 'if it will make me happy'. Toni, I don’t want that. Either want it or not and let’s work it out somehow. She gives in, always.”

“You want to fight?” Toni screwed up her face.

“Well…no, don’t want to fight, although that might clear the air for awhile. I’m afraid she keeps things bottled up, never challenges me.”

“You do want a fight then. Yes, you do. She says yes and you want to know why she didn’t say no. Why do you want to fight with Connie?”

“Toni, I don’t want to fight with Connie…really.” He gave her a look.

“You want her to disagree?”

“I want her not to give in to me all the time, stand up and say what she feels. I need that.”

“I know you do. I think she’s afraid to stand up to you, I really do.  Afraid she’s going to lose you.”

“That’s ridiculous. I told her once I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Maybe you need to tell her that again. Women forget sometimes. They need reassurance…constantly.”

“You never did.”

“I never had the need for it. You were mine. I knew you weren’t going anywhere. It’s different for Connie. The two of you aren’t confined in a magic house.”

“It was like being on holiday.”

“Yes, constant holiday. I’m not sure I could go back and do that again. Max, I think the cottage idea is wonderful. She doesn’t like the city, so why not? It would be similar to what you have in France. Bonnieux is not more than a village.”

“That’s true. Why does it sound so simple when you say it? I made a dog's body out of it.”

“It’s getting a lighter shade of gray.” Toni looked up at the sky.

“Probably going to rain,” Max said and sighed.

Part 5

Terry left the doctor’s office and walked, not really paying attention to where he was going. He needed to walk. It wasn’t easy for him to open up and talk to someone about himself. He was a private person. He supposed it was routine, all the questions he’d had to answer about himself and his past. Ha, what past? But he’d told her what he knew or thought he knew. He didn’t want to go back too far. There wasn’t anything there, not really. He’d told her why he was there and what had happened to him in Bolivia and the way it was affecting his life and his marriage. After spending some time with the doctor he knew it wasn’t going to be a quick fix, not a band aid job. Counseling sessions had been scheduled. At some point she wanted to bring in Toni, so he was going to have to tell her he was seeing a shrink, admit he was fucking crazy.

He looked up at his surroundings. He was in Hyde Park and found a damp bench and sat down. He was going to have to be careful how he answered questions. Maybe he’d made a mistake going to see the doctor in the first place. He couldn’t tell her the truth about himself. Selective truth, that’s what he’d have to work with.

He wondered what his first marriage had to do with being raped in Bolivia. God, he hoped she didn’t bring in Liddy! She had nothing to do with his life now, she or Henry really. Except Henry was their son. Fifteen years old now and nearly as tall as his father. Rangy in build, but he’d fill out in time. He hadn’t seen him since before they’d left for Virginia and Thanksgiving.  It was February. What had happened to his resolve to spend more time with him? He ran his hand through his hair. Maybe Max was right. He did think like an employee and not an employer. He didn’t have to go to work on a daily basis. He could get out to St. Albans, have lunch with Henry…bloody hell…talk to the lad. Be his father as well as Jacky’s. He felt like he’d let him down again, making promises he didn’t keep.

He felt a raindrop and looked up into the gray sky. He’d better get his arse off the bench and go home and help Toni with Jacky and Maxi, if he was still there. He checked his watch and left the bench. He was about to pull away from the curb and stopped, thinking he ought to call her and let her know he was on his way.

“Good, Max is here. Um, would you mind terribly going by and picking up Connie? He went off and left her this morning.”

“Oh, okay. Something not on there?”

“Not sure really.” Toni walked around in the garden picking up Jacky’s toys. “He wants to go to work; she doesn’t want to live here but won’t say so. He’s talking about a cottage in the country now as a compromise.”

“I’ll pick her up, bloody hell!”

“Yeah…Terry, everything okay with you?”

“Um, yeah, Toni. I’ll talk to you later about my morning. Bye, luv."

Toni looked at the phone in  her hand. ‘About his morning’?  Where had he been?

Connie answered the door. “Terry! Come in.” Why was he here?

“G’Day, Connie." He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Did Max send you?”

“Um, no. I haven’t seen Max today. Toni called me and asked me to bring you over.”

“Oh…okay. Well, I’ll just, um…is Max at your house?”

“Yes, sorry. I had an appointment this morning. I wasn’t there when he arrived.”

“Terry…is everything all right?”

“Oh, ah, sure it is, Connie. How about things with you?”

Connie looked into his eyes. “Sure it is, Terry.”

“Max has evidently talked to Toni. What is it about London that turns you off?”

“During the six years that I lived here I suffered from depression. I thought this the most depressing place in the world. I was not a happy person, Terry. It got so bad I couldn’t function. When I left London for Provence, I made a promise to myself never to live here again, too many blue memories.”

“But you’ve got a different kind of life now, a different man.”

“I know,” she walked toward the glass wall, “but I look out at the same gray skies. Oh, I’m better now, but I still take meds for it. I’m afraid I’ll fall back into that dark hole again. I’m happy in France. I have family there and I love the chateau. The whole atmosphere is different there.”

Terry walked over beside her, looking down on the Thames. “I think it’s possible to carry that dark hole with you no matter where you are. You associate London with depression. For me and for Max it’s part of who we are.” He slipped his arm around her waist an unconscious gesture of comfort but she turned in his arms and kissed him. He kissed her back. Surprised at himself, he pulled back slightly and looked at her.

“Where did that come from?” he asked quietly.

“I think…it’s been there for awhile. Ever since that day you took me to Bonnieux and explained about Toni and Max. I wanted…you to…but I didn’t know if you were capable of anyone but Toni.”

“Capable? That’s been proven.” He dropped his hands from her waist.

“You’re talking about something else now. That doesn’t count, Terry.”

“Aren’t we complicated enough?”

She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He gathered her back in his arms.“I do.” He lifted her chin and kissed her lightly. “We’d better go.”

“Yes, of course.” She held her head down, embarrassed.

Terry felt like his mind was exploding. He wanted her and was ashamed of his arousal.

“Bloody hell!” He kissed her again, deeply exploring her mouth. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. His cell phone rang in his pocket. He stepped back, trying to control his breathing and his body. “Yeah?”

“Terry, did Toni get up with you about picking up Connie?”

“I’m here now.” hHe met her eyes. “We’re about to leave.”

“Why?” he asked when he hung up with Max. “Why now?”

“I don’t know, Terry.”

“We’re both fucked up, let’s get out of here.”

She licked her lips. “Yes…I’ll just…” Connie went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. What had just happened with Terry? Maybe she was fucked up? She ran a brush though her hair and looked at her flushed face in the mirror. No way could she live here now. He was too near.

Terry waited on the balcony, feeling like he’d completely lost control of himself. He was coming apart. What the fuck was he doing with Max’s wife?

Terry pulled up in front of his house. The drive had been a quiet one. “Connie…not a word of this, okay?”

“No, I wasn’t going to say anything to anybody.” What did he think?

Max and Toni had spent some time online looking for property and had found a few places that looked promising. They had Toni’s laptop in the lounge, Jacky was busy building things with his toys and Maxi was in the jumper seat. They were on the sofa with the laptop on the coffee table.

Toni heard the door open and Terry and Connie came in, folding an umbrella.

“Oh, is it raining?” Toni looked behind her at the French doors.

“Yeah, just started.” Terry came over and gave her a quick kiss. Connie sat down on the opposite sofa.

“We’ve been looking for property,” Toni smiled. “There are some really neat cottages available, depending on whether you want to go grand scale country house or cozy cottage.”

“Not sure about the grand scale, Toni.” Max cocked a brow.

“But it was a lovely place and the grounds were…”

“We already have a grand scale home in France.”

“Leave it to these two. They’ll have you moved in before you’ve seen it.” Terry looked at Connie.

“Have you found something, Max?” Connie asked.

“Um, not sure. Worth a look I’d say. Want to see?”

“Ah, not right now.” She smiled slightly.

Toni glanced at her. Why not, she wondered, why not look at the property?

Terry looked over at Max and sat down with Maxi, who wanted picking up. He sat beside Connie, who took Maxi from him. Max looked a little crushed when Connie dismissed his property search. He felt for him and also felt a little guilty, a lot guilty. He wished they’d go but Max was settled in, no shoes, comfortable for the afternoon. Toni probably had invited him to tea. Terry sat back on the sofa and sighed.

“Has he had a nap, Toni?”

“Which one?” Toni asked. “He’s had three since he woke up about 8:00."

“Maxi’s fine, Connie.” Max was back on the laptop. “Look at this one…or did we already?” he asked Toni.

“No need for me to look at them. I won’t be living there.” She gave Connie a direct look, got up and went to the kitchen to make some tea.

Max looked up, catching the atmosphere in the room, and sat back on the seat closing the laptop. “What…have I missed?” he asked.

“I’m going up and change Maxi…and then we should probably go, Max.”

Max watched her walk to the stairs and got up, paced back and forth a couple of times. Terry was working on a toy Jacky gave him to make work.

“I’m at a loss here, Terry. I don’t know what to do.”

“She doesn’t want to live here. Did you know she suffers from depression?”

“Depression? Why? What has she got to be depressed about? My God, she has everything I have to give her.”

“Depression has nothing to do with what you have. She told me she’d been pretty bad the six years she lived here…still takes meds for it.”

“When did she tell you this?”

“This afternoon when I went to pick her up. She’s afraid she’ll fall back into it again. Is she seeing a specialist?”

“Not that I know of. Why in hell couldn’t she tell me that?”

“Don’t know, Max.”

“How is it you  know these things and I don’t?”

“I just asked her a direct question…and got an answer.”

“Well…I’m fucked.” Max saw his desire to work again fly out the door.

“Aren’t we all,” Terry answered him.

Part 5

Toni came up with a laden tea tray and set it in an alcove in the dining room. She walked into the lounge. “Tea in the dining room. Where’s Connie?”

“Gone to change Maxi…or something.” Max ran a hand through his hair.

“Somebody want to tell me what’s going on here? The air is thick with it.”

“What do you mean?” Terry asked.

“Don’t tell me you don’t feel it, too.”

“Connie’s not happy,” Max said simply.

“That’s news? Come and get your tea.” She walked back to the dining room. What did Connie have to be unhappy about? She poured their tea and placed plates of sandwiches and cakes on the table. She was irritated with Connie for dismissing Max’s desire to find a cottage for her.

“Terry, where did you go this morning?”

Terry turned on the chair. “I went to see someone, a doctor.

Toni quickly turned around to him. “Did you…what?” She lifted her shoulders.

“Counseling sessions. You may be involved, too.”

“I don’t need counseling,” she said.

“No, but I do. She said she may want to bring you in. Will you go?”

“Of course I will, honey. This is quite a step for you.”

“I know…I tried…I can’t do this on my own.”

Max came in and reached for a cup of tea. “Can’t do what on your own?”

“If I wanted you to know I would have told you earlier.”

“Oh…pardon me.”

Toni looked from one to the other. “Max, what are you going to do now?”

“I’m not sure. We’ll have this out tonight.” He sipped his tea and picked up a sandwich.

Toni picked up her teacup. Was she the only one who was happy here? Was she really? Yes…once Terry got his problem straightened out…yes. She felt so sorry for Max. Maybe she could talk to Connie?

“I could talk to Connie if you think it might help.”

“Um, I don’t think…” Terry began.

“Give it a try. I need help.” Max finished his sandwich and reached for another.

“What don’t you think, Terry?” Toni bit into a sandwich.

“It doesn’t matter.”  He took a sandwich from the tray.

“Yes, it does. You don’t think I should talk to Connie?”

“You’ll do what you want anyway.”

Toni picked Jacky up and set him on her lap, giving him a sandwich. She didn’t like what Terry said to her and glanced up at him. “Not if you don’t want me to.” Why would it matter to him?

Connie came down with Maxi and his little bag, all packed up and ready to go.

“I thought we were leaving?”

“We’re having tea. Pull up a chair,” Toni said.

Outside the rain had really begun to get serious. Thunder rolled in. Jacky didn’t like thunder and Terry took him into the lounge to find something to distract him.

“You don’t want to be going anywhere in this storm,” Toni said

“She’s right, you know. Why take Maxi out in this? What’s the hurry?” Max said, sitting back in his chair.

“No hurry.” Connie adjusted Maxi’s little suit.

To try and change the subject Toni said, “Jacky’s having a birthday on Saturday. Will you still be here for that?”

“Oh, I’d almost forgotten. Two years old.  Um, yes, I suppose so. Is he having a party?”

“He is if you’ll stay, Connie.”

“That’s up to Max.”

“No, that’s up to you.” Toni was treading on treacherous  ground.

Connie looked at Toni. “Well then, we’ll stay for his birthday.”

Toni wondered at her control. What would it take to make her really mad, make her shout and stamp her feet? Did she ever do that…let go and let it all out? Was it possible to….

“Good, that’s a week,” Max said hopefully.

Toni finished her tea and went to find her men. Terry had set up Jacky’s 'Tomas Train' he’d gotten for Christmas. He sat cross-legged in the floor with him. Toni went over and put her hands on his shoulders and he looked up. “Have they gone?”

“No, having tea and tension in the dining room.”

He reached up and placed his hand on hers for a moment before setting the train back on the track. He wanted to talk to her about the visit to the doctor but it would have to wait.

Toni wanted to know about it, too, and sat down in the floor with them, leaning on his left shoulder. “Connie needs to get mad, throw a hissy fit.”

Terry looked at her. “She’s trying to keep herself together, Toni. Leave her alone.”

“Why?” and why his defense of Connie all the time. “Well, just my opinion. Things like that tend to clear the air and I think they need their air cleared.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“I suppose not. I hate to see Max’s needs dismissed like that.”

“He’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”

“If we ever get a chance I want to know about your morning.”

“You will, when we get a chance.”

“I don’t like this day. It’s not been …like the storm outside, there seem to be clouds building inside, too.”

“Why haven’t you called Anna back?”

“Where did that one come from?” She looked at him. “I don’t know. I think I just wanted you AND Jacky close to me after…well, your near death.”

“It was on my mind to ask you that. Maybe you should call her back. We don’t have much one on one time anymore.”

“No…I’ll call her…I will.”

“Now.”

“Terry…Okay…what’s up with you?”

“I don’t know. I want to get you out of here today.”

“It’s pouring rain.”

“Does that matter?”

“No…” Toni looked at him strangely and got up to find her phone and make the call.

“You could at least look at the property, give it a chance, Connie. Located in a small village like Bonnieux. It would be different than living in the city.”

“Okay, I’ll look at it,” she said shortly.

Max looked at her. “Are you angry with me?”

“No…I’m not angry with you, Max.” Connie adjusted Maxi on her lap.

“It’s only about an hour’s drive, maybe not that long.”

“Are you suggesting we go today? It’s raining.”

“You were ready to go out in it a little while ago.” He reached over and took the baby from her.

“I don’t think viewing property during a storm is a good idea.”

“Will you look at it online then?”

“Yes, if you wish,” Connie sighed.

Max took Maxi into the lounge, deposited him in the jumper chair and picked up Toni’s laptop and took it back to the dining room.

Max had bookmarked the page and readily went to it, bringing up the pictures for her to see. Connie studied them, a nice cheery looking house and surrounding garden. “Where is this house?” she asked.

“It’s in Hampshire, southeast of London. Fifty minutes by train.”

“You’re already there, aren’t you?” She looked at him and smiled a little.

“It’s about an hour’s drive from London.” He sat back in his chair and watched her…hoping.

“It’s a nice-looking place, and seems large enough without being overwhelming.”

The doorbell rang and Toni answered it. “Anna, I’m so glad you could come on such short notice. I’ve missed you.” She gave the nanny a hug.

A half hour later they were on the road to Hartley Wintney to look at a cottage. They took Toni’s car, Terry driving, and left the children with Anna. This was not what Terry had in mind when he spoke to Toni about calling Anna. Max was navigating with his printed out driving instructions to reach the property. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d got roped into this. However the farther they got from London the less rain they encountered.

“It will be dark by the time we get there. I don’t know what you hope to see with a torch,” Terry commented, slowing at a crossroads and turning.

Max glanced over at him. “We’ve got a bit of daylight left.” He looked at his watch; not much.

Toni was unusually quiet on the drive, sitting behind Terry in the back seat with Connie next to her. Neither one of them had much to say to each other. Connie hadn’t been especially keen on going out to look at the house today until Terry finally agreed to drive. They’d make it a foursome and Max said it might be fun. Was it fun? Toni wondered but she was determined to make the best of it.

“Are we there yet?” she asked, looking over the front seat.

“Soon, luv.” Terry patted her hand. She touched the back of his neck briefly and sat back in the seat. She’d really rather be at home.

“Have you thought about a nanny, Connie?” she asked.

“Um, no, I haven’t. Max has mentioned it several times.”

“You should. It would give you and Max some time together, adult time.”

“We have Ludivine to help.”

“I have Wiggins to help but she doesn’t babysit for very long, not like my Munchie. She’s more like a grandmother with Jacky.”

“Ludivine doesn’t babysit. I take care of Maxi.”

“Oh.” Toni looked out the rain-splashed window. “I take care of Jacky, too.”

“You have a nanny for that.”

“No, I take care of him, Connie. She just helps.”

Max looked over the back seat, intrigued by Toni’s tone of voice

“Why do you need her then if you take care of your child?”

Toni turned, “So I can go off with you to look at a house in the rain, that’s why.”

Terry looked at her in the rearview mirror.

“You didn’t have to come.”

“Oh, let you go off with Max and Connie and leave me at home. I don’t think so.”

Terry could tell Toni was itching for a fight but the why of it escaped him. “This should be far enough out of London.”

“A little farther out than I had hoped but we’ll see what the house is.” Max sat up a little straighter in the seat, looking out the windshield for the signpost.

Part 6

“Oh, it’s a thatch!” Toni sat up in the seat. “How neat.”

“Home for birds and the like.” Terry opened the car door.

“Can we get inside?” Toni asked.

“No, not without an agent,” Max answered her.

Max and Terry went around the side of the house and Toni and Connie looked over the front, found a gate and went into the back garden.

“Oh, this is lovely!” Toni exclaimed.

Connie hadn’t said anything until then. “It is a nice garden.”

“Sitting out places, place for Maxi to play and Jacky when he comes to visit. This could be really nice.” Toni seriously liked the place. “Whatever the inside looks like, it could be modified to suit, you know.”

Connie looked up at the back of the house. Everything was wet. She went over and peered into the French doors. “I’ve never lived in a thatch before.”

“I’ll bet it’s warm and cozy.” Toni went over and looked inside, too.

“Or damp and moldy.”

“You always find the bright side, don’t you?”

Connie stepped away from the door and looked over the garden again. “I don’t know anything about this place.”

“I thought the village looked friendly, enough shops to keep you in food and drink and this lovely place.” Her mind was spinning with the possibilities.

“It’s rather isolated.”

“You didn’t want the city life. The village is within walking distance or biking. You could get a little tag-a-long for your bicycle for Maxi to ride in. I think it could be perfect for you.”

Max had been taking pictures with his cell phone camera.“What do you think, Terry?”

“It looks like a great place. I really like the garden and the views. I think you should buy it then we’ll have a place to come on the weekends,” he grinned.

Max rolled his eyes around at Terry. “Maybe you should buy half of it.”

“Money tight?”

“No, not at all, but if it doesn’t work out for me  with Connie, you know. Even if I bought it, she may not want to stay in it.”

Terry took a breath and looked around again. He hadn’t been looking for property, hadn’t given it a thought. “I’d have to ask Toni. She’s never said anything about wanting a place in the country.” He saw her then out in the back garden investigating the borders and smiled a little. Probably wouldn’t be a hard sell. He saw Connie making her way around the house toward the side terrace.

He wondered what she thought about what happened in Max’s flat. Had it been as big of a shock to her as it had been to him? It had thoroughly shocked him that he had responded to her as he had. He’d always liked her, but not in that way.

“Max.” She stopped when she got to the terrace. “Oh, the views are wonderful from here.”

“Yes, I noticed," he smiled, afraid to push it too hard. “I would think we’d get some afternoon sun here.” He looked around seeing a lighter shade of gray in the sky and judging that to be the sun up there somewhere.

Terry stepped off the terrace to find Toni, who’d disappeared behind a hedge.

She turned, seeing him come through the break in the hedge. “It gets better and better. Look, a little river. I’ll bet this place is really something in the summer.”

“You like it, I take it?”

“Oh, yes, I do,” she smiled, slipping her arm around his waist. “I don’t know about Connie, though. She hasn’t had a positive thing to say since we got out of the car.”

“You’re awfully tough on her today. Why is that?”

“I’d like to kick her behind. Who wouldn’t want this place? I think Max has done a wonderful job of compromising. She’s been a little snarky to me today, too, but I don’t suppose you’d notice that.”

Terry let that slide. “Max asked if I’d like to buy half of it, go in with him.”

“How would that work if they live here all the time?”

“Not sure they will, but it would be here for them and for us if we wanted to take a weekend from the city.”

“Are you going to do it?”

“I’m asking you.”

“Well, I like the place and I haven’t even seen the inside.” She rolled out a paper she’d picked up from a box on the front door. “It has enough rooms but of course we don’t know what kind of condition it’s in inside.”

Terry took the paper and looked at it. The price was listed, too. Not bad, he thought. “Okay, we’re in if he buys it.” He smiled and handed the paper back to her.

Toni looked up at him, thinking she could live on the moon as long as he was there. Place didn’t matter.

Max looked at Connie. “What do you think, love? Could you bang out a few weeks a month here?”

Connie hesitated a moment. “I’m willing to try. I’d want to see the inside first.”

“Oh, yes, of course. I’ll call the agent in the morning. I should tell you I asked Terry if he’d be interested in going in half with me. That way when we’re not here they could come down for a few days.”

She glanced up at him. “That was nice of you.”

“No, it wasn’t. He’s handier than I am around the house. If it breaks, he can fix it.” He smiled and put his arm around her. “Thank you, Connie. Let’s give it a go. I think it’s worth a try and if it doesn’t work for you then we’ll look at something else.”

“I’ve never, um, furnished a house before or decorated one. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“You haven’t? I’m sure Toni would help you. She’s good at that sort of thing.”

“She’s good at most things.”

“So are you.” He kissed her.

Toni and Terry came around to the front of the house and waited until Max and Connie joined them.

“I think we should check out the local pub, The Blue Bottle. I saw it within walking distance when we came into the village,” Terry said, opening the car door.

“We’ll need a DD. That’s a long drive back to London.” Max slid into the passenger seat.

“I’ll volunteer,” Toni said, buckling her seat belt.

Terry raised his brows at that and backed out of the drive.

An hour later they were on the road back to London. Toni was driving with Terry bunched up in knots beside her, especially when she passed another car. She was concentrating on the road but her mind was elsewhere. She’d intercepted a look from Connie directed at Terry and being sober and alert she was trying to figure out what that look meant. Max had gone to the loo and Connie had picked up her drink and looked directly at Terry. He’d looked away quickly but Toni had seen the look in her eye and knew that look. She wasn’t quite sure what to do about it…yet.

By the time they got home her shoulders were aching from clenching the steering wheel and she didn’t say anything about what was on her mind. She’d skirt around Terry first and see if there was any kind of a reaction. If not, she knew where to aim her weapons.

They were getting ready for bed and Toni said, “Are you sure this is such a good idea, buying a house with Max and Connie? I mean, we’re in and out of each other’s pockets a lot. I thought you didn’t like that much.”

“It’s not like we’ll be living together, luv. I think it will help Max out a little with his peace of mind.”

“I’m not sure he’s ever going to have peace of mind…with Connie.”

“What brought that on today?”

“Today? I don’t know. Sometimes I’m not so sure about her, if she’s right for Max.”

“Little late for that.”

“Is it? What do you think of her? How do you feel about her?”

“I think she’s got some problems but they’re not mine…I have my own.”

“Meaning me?”

“No, you’re the positive, the good thing.”

“What kind of problems do you think she has?”

“I’m not qualified to diagnose, Toni.”

“But you like her, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. I’ve always liked her.”

“She likes you, too.” Toni got in the bed, reached for her lamp and turned it off.

Terry looked around at her. Where was she going with this? “Why? Did she say something to you?”

“No, I can tell by the way she looks at you.”

“I can’t help that.”

“I hope not.” She turned over on her side.

Terry got into bed and stared at the ceiling. Toni’s radar was out. Of course she’d sense something, but what was there to sense? He didn’t feel any differently about Connie than he had before he’d kissed her except that he knew he was vulnerable and he would have to watch himself.

It seemed like the day had been a long one and he thought about the questions the doctor had asked him. What kind of a childhood he’d had…he had memories but they weren’t real. How was he supposed to go back that far? He’d come fully grown from a movie.

“Terry…”

“Yes, luv.”

“We’re going to be all right, aren’t we?”

“Of course we are.” He reached for her, pulling her against him. “You and I…nothing can ever touch that…nothing.”

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