CHRISTMAS NOT IN PARIS

(The direct continuation of A Thankful Gathering)

By Atonia Walpole

(Picture creations also by Atonia)

Part 1

His feet were propped up on the coffee table in the den. The TV was on some children’s programming and Maxi and Rose were watching it while playing with giant Legos. Max was bored. He was staring at the ceiling with his head laid back on the sofa.

Toni had been upstairs straightening up and making beds. Maxi had wet the bed so she had his sheets in the washer. She came by the den and looked in.

“Max?”

“Hi, love.”

“Oh…oh!” She went over and knelt beside him. “That bad?”

“Um hm.” He looked into her eyes.

The Thanksgiving crowd had been gone for almost a week. The weather had turned wet, freezing at night and windy and cold during the day.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad in summer because you could get outside and find something to do. One can only cuddle by the fire and drink warm whiskey for so long, especially with these two rug rats around.”

“I’m sorry, darling.” She kissed him softly.

“You see the thing is, love, it’s not my house. It’s all right, it’s your home place and I respect that. I never lived here with you. This is Terry’s house, Toni. The bedroom we share belonged to you and Terry. His equipment is still in the office. I’ll bet his clothes are still in the closet.  He’s at home here…I’m not.”

She sat down on the sofa. “I really never thought about that. Funny I thought you’d be at home with me anywhere.”

“This place holds too many Terry memories for me. It’s like me moving to Battersea. This is not my world, Toni. I’m lost here.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Why don’t we go to London? The kids can camp out in my office. We can experience all the things in London that lead up to Christmas and then go home for the occasion. We’ll take the kids to see all the lights and to the theater."

“Okay,” she smiled a little. It did sound fun. London was so alive. “Make the travel arrangements.” She gave him a kiss and left the den. It really hadn’t occurred to her that he wouldn’t feel at home here. But what he said about Terry was true. His clothes were still in the closet although pushed to the back. They were there in the master bedroom. This was the first time Toni had been back here since she and Terry broke up. She thought it must have seemed strange to Terry, too, when he arrived there. He was treated as the master of the house by Tom and Munchie.

She went into the kitchen and thought about tea. Munchie had her knitting out and was sitting in her chair in Munchie’s corner with the little TV on.

“Hey, Munchie, what are you making?”

“Little boots. They decorate the trees in the church nursery with them. You’re looking down. What’s up with you, girl?”

“We’re going to be leaving as soon as Max makes the arrangements.”

“Leaving?  Well, I thought you were here until a week before Christmas. What changed?”

“Maybe the thing is too much has changed. You know this was mine and Terry’s first home. His stuff is still here as he left it. Max doesn’t feel like he belongs.”

“I can understand that. And really, honey, he doesn’t. He’s of another life than what you lived here and even what you lived in Boston. He’s English, dear.”

“What does that have to do with it? Terry was Australian.”

“Maybe a lot. Terry lived other places. He was at home anywhere because of his military background. Max has lived in England and part time in France. This is a different culture here in rural Virginia.”

“I’ve lived in England and France but this is still part of me here. I walked into the chateau in Provence and was instantly at home.”

“You’re a woman and I think that makes a difference.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t worry about it. We grow up and move on. I’ve told Terry to come with Jacky anytime he wants. This will be Jacky’s one day.”

“I’ve noticed Terry has a feel for the place. He takes an interest. Tom keeps him informed.”

“Oh, he does?” Toni grinned. “Did he check with Terry before implementing Maxi’s stabling and riding ideas?”

Munchie laughed, “I expect he did but it was a good idea. Those horses don’t need to hang around and just get fat. The riding instructor is a nice young woman and brings her own horse out here.”

Toni went over to a window and looked out. The end of November was never very pretty weather wise. She sighed…Max was right. This wasn’t home to her anymore either. Yes, she’d lived here with Terry. They had shared some good times and some bad, some very bad when he came back from the field. Bleak, that was the word she was looking for…it was bleak outside. Those years with her grandmother were long gone. All the happy times, the traditional holidays, the parties…all gone to memory. Max didn’t share those memories. It was just a house to him and one he never belonged to.

“Looks like English weather.” She hadn’t heard him come into the kitchen but she felt his strong arms close around her.

“And you want to go to England,” she half grinned, leaning against him.

“Are you very upset?”

“No. I realize, Max, that you are not connected to this house at all. It’s me that once belonged here. Once…but that life is gone. The one that followed is also gone. I don’t know that I want to come back again.”

“I’m sorry. I seem to have opened up Pandora’s Box.”

“It’s okay, really it is. I think I needed to see it. Have you called the airlines yet?”

“We can leave on Thursday. That gives us two days.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me? I’ve ruined your holiday.”

“No, you haven’t. You’ve opened my eyes to what’s real and isn’t and is no more and to what is important to me today.”

“Not sure I can follow all that.” He kissed her cheek. “Please tell me I don’t have to watch Nick Jr. TV any longer.”

“You are relieved of that duty.” She turned in his arms and kissed him, unmindful of Munchie looking through the opening under the cabinets at them and smiling. 

In the airport they watched the screens. Their flight was already delayed for an hour. Of all things, it was snowing in London. Snow was predicted here in Washington DC, too. That’s where their flight was departing from and going direct to Heathrow…maybe. They’d gotten a short flight from Richmond to DC that morning. Now four hours in the airport and they were looking at more. Rose was asleep across a chair. Max was having to carry Maxi around. He was tired and fussy. Max came back to the seats at the gate they had commandeered.

“It’s a go, a departure. Let’s get up to the line.” He stooped with Maxi attached to him and gathered up a carryon bag or two. Toni scooped Rose up and they finally got on a plane.

Rose started crying as soon as she was strapped into her seat. Maxi soon followed in sympathy.

Max closed his eyes. Terry told him to go home by private jet. What was he thinking? Why hadn’t he? It seemed like such an extravagance. It was all right for Terry. He owned a private jet through SI. He looked over the seat at Toni. She was giving the stewardess a sippy cup and a small can of juice for her to fill. She didn’t look happy. It was just too much carting kids around on planes. They were too young to enjoy anything and too young to know where the bloody hell they were anyway. He resolved not to do this again.

London had dusted itself with snow. It was pretty to look at from Max’s flat but was horrible down below on the streets. They’d got to the flat a little after noon.  The loveseat in his office was now Maxi’s bed. Somehow they’d crammed the crib from the bedroom in there so both kids were now in his office and he and Toni had a kid free zone in the bedroom but neither of them was in a mood to be in it. They’d ordered dinner and were waiting on its arrival. Max poured them a drink and brought Toni hers. She was up on the entry level looking out over the city.

“It looks as though it’s been dusted with sugar by a very talented baker.”

“Bert says it’s not done. This was only the first wave. We don’t have a stroller here, do we?”

“Only that little umbrella thing.” She looked at him and sipped her drink.

“Well, we’ll have to get one that seats two. We may be here for awhile.”

“That would suit me,” she smiled. “Now the kids…there are no toys here.”

“It’s Christmas, love. I’m sure we can find something for them to do.”

“We have never just had Christmas by ourselves with our children. It’s always been a big to-do.”

“It will be this year too at Duncan’s. They don’t care about us. Why don’t we just give them the children and sneak off to Paris for the occasion?” he grinned.

“That does sound tempting but think of all we’d be missing…Rose’s second Christmas, Maxi’s 4^th and Jacky’s…of course Terry will be there.”

“Of course.” He took a sip of his drink.

She was quiet for a moment then looked up at him. “Christmas in Paris sounds so romantic.”

He kissed her softly. “Hold on to that thought.”

Part 2

Bert was right. The second wave of snow hit the second day they were in London, a thick blanket that interrupted the trains and public transportation. Luckily Toni had been out to the market and had a good supply of groceries delivered. They were now supplied with a two-seater stroller with industrial-sized wheels. If they had to, they could get out and go on foot.

They bundled the kids up in their new snow gear and booted and bundled themselves, taking the kids out to play in the snow. The parks were full of snowmen- making people. They tried their hands at it, too. Later they found a tea room and hot cocoa while their gloves dripped on the back of the stroller.

“This has been fun, Max.” Toni’s flushed face glowed over the table.

“It has been,”  he smiled. “What have they got to eat here…umm, soup and sandwich?” He looked over at the blackboard hanging on the wall. “Let’s feed up the crew and go walking in the snow. The walks should be better by now.”

While they managed the children’s meal and their own Toni thought about how much fun they’d had all day. Max was fun; he could play hard, rolling in the snow with the kids and making a snowman with them. He managed to get a snowball aimed at her direction a few times, too. He’d been right about coming to London.

The kids needed no coaxing to go down for their naps. In dry clothes and with their blankets and comfys they went out like a light.

Max had moved his desk into the bedroom where the crib used to live. He was still trying to get it set up. He’d changed into track pants and a thick sweater but only his bum was visible.

“Want some coffee or tea?” Toni asked from the door.

“Yes,” he answered from under the desk.

She smiled and went to plug in the kettle.

He had his lights plugged in, his phone charger plugged in and his laptop open and working. Toni handed him a cup of coffee.

“It’s not so bad, is it, being in the flat with the kids,” she said, finding a seat on the bed.

“Um, no.  I never like having a work table in the bedroom but at least it keeps little fingers out of everything. They’ve got room now. Really, we should replace the little sofa with a single bed for Maxi.”

“I thought of that, too, but I didn’t know how you’d feel about it. It’s really dumping you out of your office.”

“It’s not like I use it very often, is it?” He took a drink from his cup.

“No,” she smiled at him. “You are so funny about changing things, though. I don’t do a thing at home without your having a say.”

“This is a little different here. I don’t care what you change. The red flower was a nice touch.”

“The poinsettia? It is Christmas.” She stretched a foot across the bed. He rolled his chair over and grabbed it.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

“Oh, what a question. I couldn’t possibly want anything else. Could I?”

He grinned, “Oh, I think you probably could. Think about it.”

“A lifetime with you.”

“You already have that.”

“How could I be so lucky?”

“Luck had nothing to do with it. It was all about love.” He placed his cup on the desk and joined her on the bed, beginning to show her some of that love. It was a good place to spend the following two hours while the children napped.

Later they surfaced, checked on the still-sleeping children and went to the kitchen for a sandwich and coffee. In the dwindling light of the day they ate, looking out over the city covered in snow while here and there twinkling lights came on.

“Do you realize no one knows where we are except Munchie?”

“I like that,” he said, finishing the last of his sandwich. “So don’t think about contacting Terry. Just because we’re here in London doesn’t mean we have to share with him.”

“You are a selfish sod, aren’t you?” she teased.

“Yes, I am where my family is concerned. We’ve just had a whole family affair so let’s keep it simple.”

“Okay. We need to get the kids up or they’ll be up all night when we’re trying to sleep.”

“Make cocoa and I will.”

Max leaned on the counter and watched the kids having their tea. On the floor were toys they’d bought since arriving. This flat had seen him through his bachelor days, his successful bachelor days. Prior to that, as his memory served, there was another flat not quite so pricey or nice. Funny he hadn’t thought of that before. His memory was sketchy anyway. Great globs of it were missing, but then he never lived it so it didn’t matter. He’d worked his way through university by waiting tables and he’d had a flat at that time shared with another student. He couldn’t remember who. Early days he’d had a flat with pictures against the wall, things never hung. Whatever happened to all that stuff he wondered. That was from the book and not the movie. He’d read the book. It was in the library at La Siroque.

Toni picked up Maxi’s spoon from the floor and looked at Max. “Hello in there?”

“Oh, sorry, wool gathering.”

“From where?”

“My faulty memory banks.” He helped Maxi down from his barstool. He’d read the book to try and fill in some of his missing past and found it so different from the movie it had confused him rather than helped. The cousin, of course, didn’t exist in real life.  He’d actually checked on that in case she showed up one day. Still in the back of his mind he worried about that. Maybe she didn’t come from California after all. It could really throw his life in a wringer if she showed up.

“I didn’t think you had any memory banks.”

“Not many, that’s for sure. I was trying to think where I lived before here. “

“Does it matter, love?”

“No, I suppose not.” But it did bother him, these great blanks in his makeup. It just served to remind him who he was and what he was, something he forgot now and again. He was amazed he could father a child. But there he was, Maxi. His thoughts went to Maxi’s mother, Connie. They’d spent their first Christmas together here in this flat. He frowned slightly. He didn’t think of her often but when he did…it hurt.

He only knew her for a couple of years. Married for a year and a half. Not long at all. Maxi never knew her. Toni was his Mummy. He sighed. What was bringing out all this today? I didn’t shag her at the Christmas party…Gemma.

“Max?”

“Toni. I think I’m shorting out.”

“What?”

“Like a robot, half thoughts, half…I don’t know. I have half memories, things alluded to and then blanks.”

“Darling, come and sit down. Stop trying to go back. What are you doing?”

“Going crazy.” He looked at her.

“Just give me a minute here.” Toni put a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer video in for the kids and went back to him. “Max, tell me what’s going on in your mind.”

“I didn’t’ shag Gemma at the Christmas party. I can’t remember the party at all.”

“Honey, that’s all back-story for the movie. Your life is here and now and what you know to be true and real. Don’t worry about all that. There isn’t a Gemma at all now is there?”

“No. Do you ever wonder if I’ll just self destruct someday? How do we know that I am real?”

“I know how real you are. How in the world did you get here from not remembering where you used to live?”

“I don’t know.” He stared at her.

“Stop worrying over that. You sprung full grown from a movie. Of course there are no baby pictures.” She raised a brow.

“That I can understand. Thank you.” He kissed her. “I don’t know how I got off on that track. It doesn’t do me any good and I know it. Still I like to probe it like a sore to see if it still bleeds.”

“This should be proof enough of who you are.” She ran a hand over Maxi’s head.

He nodded in agreement. Resting his head on Maxi’s he looked past him out into the night. They had their own light show from here. The bridges were lit up and all the buildings outlined in lights. Light shapes strung across streets from building to building were bright in red and green and white. Tomorrow evening they might take the kids out to see the lights. Maxi would love it. He kissed his dark curly head. Toni had calmed him down with a look and a few words. He honestly got scared once in awhile. Everything was so perfect for them.

Part 3

They were on Regent Street with the kids, looking at all the lights. Rose was especially impressed, clapping her hands together and looking upward in wonder.

“I don’t believe this,” Max said near Toni’s ear. “Look.”

A little ahead of them with Jacky on his shoulders stood Terry. Jacky was pointing and talking about the lights with his Dad.

Max actually thought about quietly slipping away but it wouldn’t do. He picked up Maxi on his shoulders and walked over beside Terry. The little ones screamed in delight.

Toni noticed them standing alone and then the way Terry’s eyes lit up when he saw Max. Must he be so terribly lonely? He looked around for her and she waved with Rose in her arms.

“What are you doing here?” he asked Max.

“Same thing you are apparently.”

“I mean in London.”

“We’ve been here for nearly a week. Snowed in like the rest of you. Virginia just wasn’t on for me.”

“Oh, okay. You should have called. I would have taken Maxi off ya, given you a little more room.”

“We’re fine. My office is now the kids' room. It’s been kind of nice just hanging out with Toni and the kids.”

“Right. I know what you mean. I’ve been enjoying having Jacky back.”

“I see the lights. It’s an umbrella,” Toni smiled at Jacky and moved over to Terry’s side.

“Want me to take her?”

“Oh no, you’ve got Jacky…she’s good.”

“We never did this, did we?” Terry said to Toni.

“No, we went to Virginia for Christmas…or somewhere else.

“This year at Duncan’s.”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t mind skipping that but I know they expect Jacky to be there.”

“Yes, they do, along with Maxi and Rose. They are the only kids so a big deal is made of it all.”

“No, you can’t get down,” Max told Maxi. “You’d be gone in a heartbeat.”

“Max said we could just give them the kids. They wouldn’t miss us at all. But then we’d miss them.”

Terry smiled a little secretly, agreeing with Max. “Have you been shopping?”’

“Only for necessities like food and snow gear and a stroller. We bought a few things to keep them occupied.”

“I’m about ready to move on,” Max said, pulling the stroller back around and depositing Maxi in the back of it, who wasn’t too pleased since Jacky was on foot.

Rose was set in front of him and they began to move through the throngs of people. Terry picked Jacky up again to keep him from being trampled. Now they were looking at store window displays. Once again the kids were out of the stroller so they could see. It really was something to see and they were all fascinated, including Toni.

“Once when I was a little girl we went to see my Aunt in Boston and for some reason we all went down to New York City for a week. It was right after Thanksgiving and the store windows were all done up. I’d forgotten that until now.”

“I have no Christmas memories,” Max said.

“Neither do I.” Terry looked over at him.

“Max was worried about his sketchy memories this morning.”

“I don’t think about them anymore,” Terry said. “Once I figured out what was real and wasn’t, I went from there.”

“I have, too, but…oh, well.” Max didn’t want to get into that again. “How did you get here? You didn’t drive in this, did you?”

“No, we came on the tube. Jacky thinks it’s great. How was your flight back?”

“Not much better than the one going over. I tell you, Terry, I’m not doing that again. Private jet, well maybe, but the kids are too young to be carted around like that. They have no clue where they are and are only want their blanket and comfys. They are too young to travel in planes.”

“Mm, you’re probably right. Jacky wasn’t a problem by himself.”

“I suppose not. He was going over to Virginia. I had to separate Jacky and Maxi twice. If ever we need to go across the pond, I’ll put Tuppy in charge until we get back.”

“I’ve let Anna off last month and part of this month. She’s back now but only during the day while I’m at work. And as you can see I’m not at work since it snowed.”

“Oh, we’ve had a grand time in it.”

“You aren’t over here to work, then?”

“No, we decided to spend the weeks running up to Christmas here in London and then go home a day or two before.”

Terry looked away a moment and then said softly, “So you were looking to spend some time alone.”

“Something like that.”

“I don’t mind taking Maxi.”

“Thanks, Terry, but he’s okay with us. You know, I happened to mention to Toni that I’d like to spend Christmas in Paris sometime. I’ve never done that and I think it would be something special for her.”

“So why aren’t you in Paris instead of London?”

“I didn’t think of it in time.”

“Maybe next year.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I think I’ll gather up Jacky and start for home. It’s quite a ride on the tube.”

Now Max felt a little guilty, only just a little, though. “I’ll call you, Terry. We’ll get together.”

“Yeah, sure, Max.” He went over to Toni, who had the kids by the window. “Hey, luv, we’re off.”

“Off, to where?” She turned and looked up at him.

“Home. I’ll see ya soon.” He gave her a quick kiss and picked Jacky up. “Ready to find the tube again?”

Jacky was torn now between his mummy and brother and sister. “Trains?”

“That’s right, trains.” Terry quite rightly moved him away from Toni to tell Uncle Max good night. Max kissed him good night and told him to have a good ride on the tube.

Toni moved over to Max. “Now what was that all about?”

“I have no idea where your mind is.” He picked up Maxi and headed for the stroller again. “Shall we be off?”

“Was that a brush off you gave Terry? Not very nice of you.”

“Do you want me to run after him and bring him back? Maybe he’d like to go back to the flat with us. We could probably make room in the bed for him…if you’d like.”

Toni‘s eyes flashed and she lifted her chin.

“I told him I’d call and we’d get together. I’m not a total ass,” he swallowed, “just partial.”

Toni looked up the street while he put Rose in the stroller. “He looked so…all alone.”

“That’s because he is. He’s not alone; he’s got Jacky with him. It’s the way he wanted it, Toni. Please let’s don’t go there and start feeling sorry for Terry.”

“Sometimes you are heartless, Max.”

“Heartless…because I wanted to spend some time with my family without exes and extras? That’s heartless? Oh, I suppose I’ve spoiled the whole evening. Are you ready to go back to the flat now?”

Toni relented and took his arm. “No. It was just a surprise to find him here. As big as London is and to run into Terry and Jacky here…I wanted to keep Jacky.”

“I know, love, and knowing you, you probably wanted to keep Jacky’s Daddy, too.”  He paused the stroller at the corner. “Such is our life. I’m not complaining, darling.”

Toni stole a glance up at him. He certainly was complaining and in a way she couldn’t blame him. He had wanted them to spend some time together alone and had cautioned her about contacting Terry. Now it was all out…they were in London. Things had changed.

“We should have gone to Paris,” he mumbled, pushing the stroller across the street. Toni walked by his side.

“What was that?”

“I said we should have gone to Paris. I just didn’t think of it in time. I wasn’t thinking.”

“We could still go to Paris.”

“No…no, we couldn’t. It would be a hurried, ill-planed thing now.”

“What kind of planning does it take? All we need is a place to stay. The rest can just happen.”

“That’s just it. There’s not enough time for it to happen. We’ve only got two weeks. I’ve made a bleeding mess of it.”

“Darling, you have not. This…this is wonderful, Max. I’m loving London.” She took his arm and gave it a squeeze. She was loving it. There was a feeling of excitement on the streets. It was the snow and also it was the season. Everything was bigger than life and taken over the top. From quaint little shops to the big extravaganzas of the shops on Regent Street it was all wonderful to her. “I feel like a kid,” she said and giggled.

He looked down at her. “Do you?” He had to laugh, too, because some of the same feeling had entered him sometime back. He was as much in awe as the kids were. He’d never experienced this before and he wanted to experience it through a child’s eye. Maxi and Rose were making this possible. They stopped and watched a troupe of street performers for awhile and tossed some money in their case.

For the first time Toni began to feel a part of the scene, a part of the city with Max. She’d lived in Battersea with Terry but this was different. Max lived in London, not outside of it. It was different, very different with him.

“It’s getting a bit late,” she said, thinking of the children’s bedtime.

“What do you think would happen if they stayed out past their bedtime riding around in the stroller all bundled up from the cold enjoying watching all the people and the things that are going on around them?” He raised his brows.

“Oh…well.”

“They are having a ball. They’re not whining or crying so let’s roll with it.” And roll they did, walking block after block and stopping for a bite to eat and warm drinks and a trip to the potty for Maxi. There were carolers strolling the streets and the smell of chestnuts roasting. The doors were open to the pubs regardless of the cold. People were standing out in the snow smoking their cigarettes.

It was nearly ten by the time they got back to the flat. The kids wanted pajamas and blankies and they were happy to go to bed. Rose had tried to go to sleep in the cab on the way back. Max made them a drink while she put the kids to bed. They settled on the sofa, looked out over the city and toasted each other for a good evening.

Part 4

The next day they took them to see Father Christmas, the one at Harrods. Maxi sat quietly in his lap, wide-eyed and with his mouth open and never said a word. Rose wanted to play with his beard and whatever it was she said to him was in her own language. Max had to pick Maxi up to get him out of Father Christmas’s area. They began to seriously think about Christmas shopping. They bought for the Duncan’s, Penny, Aubrey and Jean Paul. There was Duflot and Ludivine to buy for, Terry and Jacky. Everything was wrapped and shipped from the stores directly to La Siroque. Gifts for John Biebe and his family were wrapped and shipped to Maine. It was over in two days time and Toni felt she’d accomplished something.

They’d bought a little something for Jacky as well as Maxi and Rose to open while they were in London. Terry had called Max and they planned dinner at Terry’s place.

“We’ve shopped for everybody but each other,” Toni said.

“I don’t need anything,” Max answered.

“I don’t need, either. I have everything I could want…I told you that earlier.”

“I know…so should it sparkle or glow?”

“Sparkle,” she grinned.

He left them in the coffee shop and went next door. Toni already knew what she was going to get him, the latest smart phone. She’d seen him looking at them earlier and asked him about it. He’d bought one for Terry and thought about buying himself one but didn’t. As soon as he got back she was going to dash up the street and take care of that.

 

Shopping was done. They took the kids to see the Nutcracker Ballet and they were so well behaved they took them to see Beatrix Potter. Maxi sat through it but Max had to take Rose out in the second half. They’d done all the things they came to do and more. Now it was time to have dinner with Terry and Jacky.

Max rejected the idea of taking the tube to Battersea with two kids in tow. “We’d lose one,” he said. Instead they arrived by London Cab.

The steps up to the entry of Terry’s building had been shoveled and sanded. Once in and up another flight of steps they came to his door.

“Come in, come in!” Terry hugged and kissed, opening his door wide. Jacky was there to greet his mum and uncle and he and Maxi were off to his room to play.

“What is that wonderful smell or should I say aroma?” Max asked, helping Toni off with her coat.

“Chicken curry,” Terry tossed off.

Toni, wide-eyed, looked at Max. “You made chicken curry?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid drinks are in the kitchen…I need to, ah, stir a pot or two.”

“Of course you know we aren’t best room people.” Max followed him down to the kitchen.

Toni let Rose go back to Jacky’s room and then went downstairs.  “Terry, I am impressed. I’ve never known you to do anything except cook on a barbee.”

“How little you know,” he teased. “I have discovered that cooking is like chemistry…a little of this and a little of that. Just follow a recipe and what results is mostly edible.”

“Can I help?” she asked.

“You can do the rice. It’s there on the counter with the rice pot.”

Toni put some water on to boil. “Are you ready for Christmas?” she asked.

“Go look in the den. That’s Jacky’s tree.”

“Aw, Max, come and look.”

“It’s a Charlie Brown tree!” he laughed.

“No, it’s not. How sweet.”

“He and Anna made some of the decorations and I took him around the shops to find the rest.”

“Did you put up another tree?” Toni asked.

“No. Why should I? It’s not like we entertain here and need a big tree for the lounge. Anna brought a poinsettia for the front window and I bought the wreath on the corner from the greenery stall. It’s for Jacky, after all, and this is where he stays.”

“Not sure we’ll even have one when we get home.” Max sipped his drink.

“If I know the Duflot’s we will have a tree and the house full of holly and ivy. It will be good to get home,” she said, measuring out the rice.

“You’ve been gone for how long?”

“Four weeks and a bit. That’s a long time.”

“Have you been enjoying London?”

“Yes, oh, yes, we’ve had a ball, haven’t we, Max?”

“It’s been different and fun. A lot of fun, actually. We’ve done all the kiddy things, things I never did when I was a kid. If I was a kid.”

“I don’t have any kiddy memories at all, Max. That’s probably a good thing.” Terry put the lid back on his pot. “Still regretting Paris?”

“Oh, he told you?”

“We’ll save that for another year.”

“When are you flying out to Marseilles?”

“On the 22^nd.”

“Hope the next wave of snow doesn’t stop you.”

“What wave?” Toni asked.

“Oh, it’s coming again,” Terry said and picked up his drink. “Did you salt the water?”

“Yes.” She gave him a look.

“Oh, that’s Rose!” Max set his drink down and bounded up the stairs.

Terry looked after him. “Rose is his baby.”

“You better believe she is. She’s got him wrapped tight around her little finger.”

“Oh, I heard from John today. Tess is back in town and evidently went to her brother with a wild tale that sent him over to John with an apology. He’s going to seek professional help for her.”

“Poor woman. Jack was pretty upset over that.”

“I didn’t realize just how sensitive he can be. He evidently did a number on Tess and he was sorry that he had.”

“He has the sensibilities of a gentleman, something the rest of you should pay attention to.”

Terry grinned over at her.

“I'm serious…really.”

“Water is boiling.”

Max got the kids sorted out and came back downstairs. “Are you going to feed that curry to the children?”

“Ah…well, I hadn’t thought of that. It might be a bit spicy for them.”

“He isn’t,” Toni said. "I saw it in the oven. They're having pizza.”

Max raised a brow at Terry. He thought they might all have had pizza instead of what looked to be heartburn in a mustard-colored sauce.

Terry fed the kids at the kitchen island and then sent them into the den with a video. His rarely-used kitchen table had been pulled out from the wall and uncovered for the occasion. Stacks of books and Jacky things were shoved in a corner.

It was a perfect meal for a cold night and in spite of Max’s concerns it was good and went down well with a cool, crisp wine. Later they had coffee and it was during coffee that his doorbell rang.

Max and Toni stayed in the kitchen. She was helping to load the dishwasher. They heard voices and then Terry came down into the kitchen with Jack Aubrey.

“Jack!” Toni let the dishwasher door drop and she ran over to him.

“It’s always the same, isn’t it? Hasn’t been but a month since she saw him,” Terry remarked.

TY Phoenix & JD

“Hello, Pet.” Jack kissed her quickly, aware of his audience. “I’m on my way home tonight and I knew you were here in London. Sorry I haven’t been by but I’ve been busy. I wanted to see you before I left. I have a few things for the kids and something for you.”

“Jack.” Toni bit her lip.

“Rose!” Max called her from the den. “Come and see who is here.”

“Papa!” Rose ran to him and was caught up in his arms. Soon the boys were there too, climbing all over him. He allowed it and directed them to certain pockets where they found treats, carved animals, whistles and sling shots. An extra for Rose, she got a little golden locket shaped like a heart.

Terry found marshmallows for the boys to use in the sling shots. Rose had a carved polar bear she wanted to talk about.

“Bear.” She showed it to Max.

“Yes, look at his feet and his nose.”

She was quite happy with it and a whistle. He thought about all the money he and Toni had spent on the latest and greatest toys this year. A carved bear made out of some sort of bone or tusk…that’s all she needed.

“Will you have a drink, Jack?”

“Aye, something warming. It’s cold out.”

Terry poured him a brandy. “You walked?”

“No, I rode out from London Town on a horse.”

“Amazing!” Max smiled. “Are you headed home tonight?”

“With the tide early in the morning. I wanted to wish you all the happiest of Christmases.” He raised his glass.

They raised whatever they had, coffee cup, and drink glass. "And the same to you, Jack.”

He had his brandy and was very conscious of Toni at his side. “Why did you come to London?”

“There just wasn’t anything or any reason for us to stay in Virginia. This and Provence is where we live now as a family.”

“I’m very glad you did.”

“We almost…well, we thought about going to Paris.”

“That would have made things a bit difficult for me tonight. I would have sent your gift by Terry. Speaking of which...” He felt in his inside pocket and pulled out a necklace, a long fine gold chain with a gold medallion set with precious stones and pearls. He fastened it around her neck.

“Jack, this is beautiful.” It rested in her cleavage, something all three of the men noticed at once. She had to kiss him; Max and Terry could just look the other way for a moment. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I think of you quite often,” he smiled and hugged her. “I thank you for the drink, dear brothers, for this lovely creature,” he kissed Toni again and then gave all the kids a rousing good bye.

TYKarin for the cap

Part 5

Max walked him out. Toni was looking at the medallion he’d given her. Terry walked over and picked it from her breast.

“I wonder who he took that off of, some French man of war or Spanish privateer?”

“Maybe he bought it or had it made.”

Terry smiled, “Maybe he did. It’s a nice piece.” He looked into her eyes for a moment. “Given the chance and without what you have here, you’d go with him in a heartbeat, wouldn’t you?”

“Without what I have here, if I didn’t know anything else…yes, I would. But it’s impossible. I know you and Max and our children. I have too much here and not enough there to even contemplate such a thing.”

“I thought when you came back from that month you spent with him in France that I very well might lose you to him. I’d never considered him a threat until then.”

“You threw us together after that…when you went to Albania. The more time I spent with him…well. When he came for me that day…when you were in Australia...I went willingly. I wanted to be with him.”

“And that’s why you conceived his child. You both loved enough to span 200 years.”

“Yes, we love that much. Why did you do it?”

“I didn’t have much choice. It was him or Max and Max was married, not that that would have mattered.”

“It did matter. Did you trust him?”

“To a point. It certainly doesn’t matter now. I have to hand it to Max. He handles it very well. I thought after his big proclamation last year that Jack was no longer welcome.”

“Jack makes his own rules. You know that. What anyone else says is only a suggestion to him. It’s working for us. I don’t see Jack that often and he’s Rose’s father.”

Max came back down the stairs. “It’s snowing again.”

“Did you see him ride off on his horse to London Town?” Terry asked.

“No, he walked about ten feet and disappeared off the sidewalk, stepped over I suppose.” He poured some brandy into his coffee cup. “Maybe we should think about a cab, love.”

“If it’s snowing we definitely need to be thinking about one.” Toni closed the dishwasher and turned it on.

“Why don’t you leave Maxi tonight with Jacky?  They’ll be fine and I’ll get him to you when you want him back.”

“Well?” Toni looked at Max.

“Okay, you’ve got him for two nights. That should give the transportation folks time to get back in the swing of things.”

“Good. Jacky will be pleased. He’ll have somebody to roll in the snow with.”

“London Cab’s number is on the wall by the phone, Max.” Terry poured a little brandy in his cup, too.

“Thanks, Terry, for dinner and everything. It’s been a good evening.”

“Yes, it has. Oh, I had a gift for you and Rose and Maxi, just a little thing.”

“So did we. I think we left them in the hall.”

They exchanged their gifts. Toni had a bottle of expensive scent from Terry. She carefully placed it in her bag. “Good night.” She kissed him and talked to Maxi and Jacky about behaving.

Max took Rose and held her arm while they went down the steps to the cab.

“We’re dwindling, love.” Max settle Rose in the seat of the cab.

“I know. Let’s don’t make anymore stops.”

“That was nice of Jack to stop by. The kids loved it.”

“So unexpected.” She touched the necklace around her neck. “He’s going home for Christmas.”

“You know I don’t think they made as big a deal about Christmas back in those days. It was a day to go to church and eat.”

“That was it?” She gave him an amused look.

“Well, what else did they have to do? No TV, so ballgames were out. No electronics, so games were out. Did you notice how Rose acted with her little carvings?”

“Yes, they are special to her from her Papa.”

“Probably cost him nothing, a bit of scrimshaw done by a sailor. How many pounds did we spend on Rose?”

“Oh, hah! I don’t want to think about it.

“Bear,” Rose said

“See…”

Once back in the flat Toni gave Rose her bath and Max read her a story. Toni opened her bottle of scent, dabbing a bit on her wrists. She could close her eyes and almost think of where this scent sent her but not quite. It wasn’t heavy but it was a sexy scent.

She curled up on the sofa and wrapped the thick cozy throw around her shoulders. Outside snowflakes were falling. Once she thought his flat cold and unyielding but not now, now it was warm inside and the huge glass wall was a window on the city.

Don’t we make a pair?” Max slid under the wrap with her. “I smell like baby powder and you smell like Terry’s goddess while wearing Jack’s necklace.”

“I love a man that smells of baby.” She kissed him and snuggled against him. “Do I really smell like a goddess?”

“The scent reminds me of the House of Four Seasons…something about it does.”

“Ah, that was it. I knew it was familiar.”

“Good dinner tonight. I’m impressed with my little brother…sometimes.”

“He does a good job of looking after himself and Jacky. He’s learning to cook because he gets tired of fish and chips from the corner and frozen pizzas.”

“He’ll make someone a nice wife someday.” Max kissed her cheek.

Toni giggled and knuckled him in the ribs to see him jump.

“Ah, Toni, look out there. Look how beautiful it is. Snow is so silent.”

“Is that a hint?”

“For you? No…no, not at all.” He rested his head on hers. That scent wafted up again from underneath the warm throw where her arms were. “Mmm.” It was getting to him.

“Mmm?”

“Um hmm.” His hands began exploring. “Bedroom.”

“But…it’s early yet,” she protested.

“You shouldn’t have doused yourself in perfume. It’s not sleep I’m after.”

“This is rather randy of you, don’t you think?”

“I can’t think, thinking sense has stopped,” he kissed her, “olfactory senses are taking over and sending blood down to, um…that other sense.”

“Mmm, that other sense.” She raised a brow and explored that other sense. “Oh, my goodness!”

He caught her face in his hand and kissed her deeply, leaving no question about where this was going.

Not to be outdone, the next morning Max was in the kitchen making breakfast. Toni helped Rose set up her little tea that Terry and Jacky had given her. There were play cakes and plates with cups and saucers and a tea pot.  Max cut up a piece of toast to fit on her plates.

Rose was very happy to have her mum and dad all to herself for awhile.

Max set plates up on the counter. He’d done rashers of bacon and eggs, mushrooms and a tomato halved between them.

“Oh, wow!” Toni pulled up a high stool. “An Englishman cooks.”

“Right!” he grinned and poured out coffee for them.  “A good English breakfast.”

“Do you ever wonder what our hybrid children will grow up to be?”

“Oh, no, not really. I suppose Jacky will be English because he’s growing up here. I fear for Maxi and Rose. Even though they are predominately English the Duflot’s have a strong influence. Maxi speaks French already. It must be very confusing for him. He answers in English and French sometimes. Even Rose will say merci.”

“I suppose its right that they speak the native language.”

“They aren’t natives.”

“No, but that’s where they are growing up. Jacky speaks French, too.”

“Discouraged by his Aussie daddy.”

“I don’t know about that. Terry wants him to be well rounded.”

“Well, love, what’s on for today? We’ve fresh snow so no driving about.”

“We could walk about for awhile. Oh, there’s a display of doll houses I’d like to take Rose to see.”

“Okay…doll houses.” He looked up from his breakfast.

“I’m sure that won’t take long.”

In fact it did take quite a while. There were loads of people having a look at the houses all decorated up for the holidays and Rose was fascinated. She wanted to get behind the glass and play.

“Let’s buy her one,” Max finally said.

“I don’t think she’s old enough to appreciate it yet. You can’t buy these. They're antiques and for display only.”

“Buy her one similar.”

“She has enough stuff for Christmas, Max.”

“I wasn’t talking about Christmas. Let’s buy her a doll house she can play with.”

The afternoon was taken up with searching out a doll house suitable for a 22 month old little girl.

That evening Max put it together as Toni made dinner for them. It was a side of him she didn’t often see. If they’d been at home Duflot would have put it together. He was well acquainted with screwdrivers and except for a few muffled epitaphs uttered in frustration, he got it put together. Rose went about putting the furnishings inside and the little people dispersed around. He lay on the floor and watched her, marveling at how her mind worked. Bathtub in the kitchen and bed in the bath.

Toni marveled too at how they adapted to the flat. They were living in basically four rooms although they were spread out and the living space was open and spacious. It brought them closer together and more involved with each other than they were at the chateau. No one was squirreling off to their own space. They had to share and it was good. There was no Ludivine to cook or clean and somehow they managed all on their own. Max was tidy by nature and she didn’t give a second thought to making a meal or throwing clothes in the hidden washer. Max said he’d never used it and forgot it was even hidden in a hall closet.

“We could live here,” she commented.

“Um, but not for long.” He looked over his shoulder. “Someone has to run La Siroque.”

She smiled and blew him a kiss. It was to his credit that he said that instead of picking up on the banking routine again. He’d made enough money in banking and invested it wisely enough that it would see them through forever. His money making ventures at La Siroque were over and above the money they had invested. They pretty much lived on La Siroque money and only pulled anything out of the base when something special came up, like new roof tiles which had to be made since they were not available anywhere.

She never had to worry about money with Max. It was there if she needed it or wanted something. Toni didn’t shop that often but when she did, she shopped big. She shopped for the children at the beginning of each season and for herself a couple of times a year or if she got into a funk she went shopping. It was great therapy. Max ordered his clothes from his tailor in London. Odds and ends he bought wherever he happened to be. He was still wearing things he’d bought in Rome and in Marseilles when he first came to the area.

TYKarin for cap

Part 6

With Rose in tow they set off the next morning to play in the snow. It was still coming down and Toni was a little worried about Rose getting wet and cold. She shouldn’t have worried; Max had her tucked up close. They wandered up the streets and into the park. Rose didn’t want a snowman but she did like a big snowball.  They stopped and bought her new mittens and threw her soggy ones away. Max was having fun pretty much letting her do as she pleased. When she got tired he carried her with an arm around Toni. They stopped for lunch in a café. It was a good place to warm up and dry out a little.

“You don’t run out of energy, do you?” Toni attacked her cup of hot tea.

“Are you running down?” he asked with a smirk on his face.

“No, I’m not.” She wouldn’t admit to anything.

“I wanted to spend as much time as I could playing with just her. I’m going to pick up Maxi at 4:00.”

“I see…only you?”

“Yes, we thought it might be easier on Jacky if you didn’t come with Rose.”

“Oh...okay.”

“It’s all right, isn’t it?”’

“Of course, it’s probably better all around. Maxi won’t be pleased about leaving Jacky either.”

“I know. We’ll have to pluck them apart.”

The image made Toni’s eyes sting. She mopped up Rose’s spilt tea and pulled out a cup from her bag and transferred her tea into it. 

Good thick vegetable beef soup and warm crusty bread and butter, apple crisp with custard and they were back on the street again.

“Where to now?” he asked.

“The book store over there.”

Toni bought some books for the kids and two for herself. One was a slim volume of poetry. Max smiled when he saw that go on the counter to be rung up.

“You don’t write anymore?”

“When do I have time?” she answered, knowing that wasn’t an answer at all. She kept thinking when she had time to sort out her feelings about everything she could write about them. But they were constantly changing. New avenues, new faces on old feelings, different angles shed new light on familiar things. She moved from day to day, happy, sad, in love, loved, yearning. Some days at peace and others in turmoil.

He added a journal to the pile. Toni saw it, a pretty leather-bound book and she glanced up at him, meeting his eyes for a moment. Unconditional love flowed from him and warmed her. She felt ashamed of her thoughts sometimes. She wondered what he saw in her eyes. Were they dark and tormented or open as his were?

He handed the woman his card and shifted Rose to his left arm. He wanted Toni in his arms that very moment but it couldn’t happen here. There was a lot behind her eyes and he knew most of it and also knew there was no cure for it, not since she first entered the House of Four Seasons.

“Want me to carry that?” she asked.

“No, it’s too heavy.”

“You have Rose.”

“I’m a big strong guy,” he smiled, offering her his arm. They walked back to the flat. Toni held his arm all the way.

She got Rose out of her snow clothes and into some warm knits. After reading to her for a little while she wanted her blankie so Toni put her to bed for a nap. Max hung the wet clothes over the shower rod and came out in fresh sweat pants and two shirts.

“Did she go down?”

“Like a rock.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Toni…you can say so if you’re not.”

“I know that. It’s…nothing…nothing with a solution.” She found herself in his arms with her head on his chest, listening to his heart beating.

“It’s how it is,” he said softy into her hair and his arms tightened around her.

“I know.”

“Should I not have bought the journal?”

“It’s not the journal. I’ve been this way for a very long time. You know it, Terry knows it, and Jack knows it. You’re right, it's how it is. It will never be fair to any of us.”

“No.”

“Not even the children.”

“It can’t be helped, love. It's how they will grow up. They won’t know any different. It’s only you that does, you that suffers so. I wish I could take it all away.”

“I love you, Max.”

“I know."

“You need to be on your way.”

“Is it?” He looked at his watch. “It is…I hate to leave you like this.”

“I’m no different than any other day. You’d better go.”

He kissed her and found a dry coat and scarf for his neck. He was going by cab but returning by the tube, something he thought Maxi might like and it would lessen the separation. He went down the elevator and waited for the cab Bert called to arrive. He hated to leave her like this. Everything had been up and happy and good all day. One little thing and there it was again. He suspected it was always there just below the surface. She wore a thin veneer of normalcy, contentment and happiness. Did they all know this, did Terry?

The cab arrived and took him to Battersea. He and Terry were taking the boys to the pizza parlor down the street.

The pizza was eaten and the boys were playing video games. Max mentioned to Terry what happened to Toni that afternoon.

“I’ve experienced it with her. It’s nothing new, Max.” Terry looked across the table at Max. “And think, too, it’s not natural to be happy all the time. We all have our up days and down days. There’s nothing abnormal about her. It’s just her life, what she knows and what she can’t change.”

“She can’t write.”

“She may write again someday. Maybe over time the pain will ease and she will be able to write. I’d hate to think what she might write now.”

“I feel so helpless.”

“You’re good for her, Max. You’re the best of the lot of us. You aren’t helpless. You are what she needs.”

He wasn’t so sure about that. He finished his beer. “I’d better get started on the tube. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I rode the Underground?”

“Do you?” Terry asked with a grin.

“No…bloody hell, Terry. I don’t think I’ve ever ridden it.”

Terry laughed, “I had the same problem. Want us to ride along for awhile?”

“Would you?”

“Sure, Jacky loves it.”

Terry got them half way home then he and Jacky changed trains and returned. It was quite an experience for Max and Maxi. Max was a little uneasy. It was crowded and they went two stops before he and Maxi got a seat. Maxi was loving it, especially when they changed from one train to another. By the time they got home Max was confident about riding on the tube, not that he planned to do it again anytime soon but he’d had the experience now and could talk about it with Maxi.

Max and Toni were in the kitchen laughing. “Then I realized I hadn’t been on the tube. It was just one of those things you assume you’ve done. So Terry and Jacky had to escort us half way home until I got the hang of it,” he giggled.

“Oh, Max!” Toni laughed and hugged him. “What an experience.”

“Have you ever ridden it?”

“Yes, I have. I came to see you once by way of the tube. Oh, this is too funny!” She laughed again.

Maxi was having a glass of chocolate milk at the counter with Rose. He had to tell about the trains, too, and how fast they went.

The light was back in her eyes and if it took an embarrassing moment for him to bring it back, that was okay. He hugged her and helped Maxi embellish his tale.

The kids were ready for bed but they let them sit for awhile in their pajamas and look out of the glass wall at the city and all the lights. Down below a few boats were passing, all decorated up with lights. It was a quiet time, something they tried to encourage before bedtime. They’d already had their stories tonight from the new books. Maxi was yawning; he’d skipped naps at Jacky’s.

Max put them to bed then came back and sat on the floor with Toni. “Maxi and Jacky have had a blast playing in the snow. Terry bought some kind of a round pudding basin type thing they could spin down a hillside in. They made snowmen and snow dogs.”

“I’m glad Maxi got to stay with him.” Toni leaned against him.

“Yeah. I suppose tomorrow we need to start getting ready to travel again.” He didn’t sound too enthused.

“I suppose. This has been the best Christmas, Max. You know if we didn’t go to the Duncan’s at all we’ve had enough. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes, I do. What I feel is that we’ve experienced it through their eyes, the kids, you know? We haven’t had any what you might call adult time. No going out to dinner or drinks parties. Even going to Terry’s was a family event.” He thought about that a minute. “You don’t suppose we’re becoming…dull, do you?”

“Us…dull? Never!”

“I suppose we’ll have to bone up on our sophisticated banter before Christmas Day,” he sighed.

“Why? Let’s talk about the kids. That always makes for a short conversation.”

“You forget where we’re going.”

“Um…right.”

“I think it was because they’re older this year and we’re able to do more things with them. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed spending time playing with the kids.”

“That’s because you’re just a big kid, Max. And I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed her gently. “Happy Christmas.”

“Please, Mr. Skinner, may I have some MORE.”

“MO-O-RE! You want MORE!” he said in his best Dickenson accent.

ON TO THE NIGHT BEFORE THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

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