Aubrey: Lost and Found

By Atonia Walpole

(Direct continuation of Aubrey: Dangerous Shoals)

Part 1:

The carriage had been moving along, swiftly carrying Toni Thorne and Captain Jack Aubrey to the van that awaited them on the back road behind the chateau. Jack, sick and semi- conscious, lay in the seat with his head on Toni’s lap. The carriage had stopped and Toni stuck her head out the window, seeing the van in the road ahead and Terry running toward her.

The misty fog suddenly enveloped the carriage and, alarmed, she called out to Terry. When the fog cleared, Terry and the van were no longer there. Carefully she lay Jack’s head on the seat and climbed down from the carriage and ran to where she’d last seen Terry, tearfully calling for him. The silence of a dark night answered her.

“No, no, no!” she wailed and ran back to the carriage and opened the door. “Jack, Jack! You’ve got to help me! They’re gone, disappeared in the fog! Jack, please wake up!” She rubbed his face and his arms. What to do? What to do? They couldn’t stay here. What if those at the chateau found out he was missing? He and Dr. Maturin had been held prisoner for several weeks and surely someone would come looking for them once it was discovered they were gone.

She sat on the seat opposite Jack. Think, Toni, think! What time period are you in? She had no way of knowing. There was nothing for it. She would have to drive the carriage back onto the highway. She’d never driven a carriage before and the poor horse must have known it for he turned without much effort on her part and started back down the road. Once she reached the crossroads she knew she was not in the year 2009 for there was only a dirt road that led off to who knew where. If she turned right it would take her to Paris and Jack had been taken prisoner there. She turned left, shook the reins as she’d seen people do and the horse picked up a little speed.

Her tears ran and dried on her face in the breeze. She was cold in her black sweater and jeans and the damp had curled her hair around her face. “I don’t know what to do!” she cried aloud. “Where to go...I  don’t even know where I am!  Oh, God, help me!” 

She was in a near panic an hour later when she saw a light in a window and headed for it. It turned out to be a wayside inn and although the proprietress was not happy to have visitors this late at night she took in the lady’s panic and walked with her to the carriage. Toni barely spoke any French but the woman had knowledge of English. She was also intrigued with Toni’s attire.

Between them they managed to get Jack upstairs and into a bed. The woman brought quilts and water and asked if she’d like tea. Toni would love tea and thanked her. It occurred to Toni that she had no money and no way to pay for the room she’d gotten for them. Soon the woman brought a pot of hot tea and some bread and butter. Her son brought some wood for the fire and got it going. The woman told her the horse and carriage had been stabled. Toni thanked her and now that all that was taken care of, she turned her attention to Jack.

Toni lay her hand on his face. He was hot, burning with fever. “Jack, oh, Jack, my love!” She lay her head on his chest and could hear his labored breathing. Something had to be done for him. She undressed him and got him under the covers, piling the extra quilts about him and propped him up on several pillows, thinking he might breathe easier. She’d never seen him like this, totally helpless. Bringing a bowl of tea and a spoon to his lips, she fed him bread soaked in tea and could tell he was trying to come back but just couldn’t make it.

The thought occurred to her that he might die, trapped in this time warp. She couldn’t bear it. “You cannot die on me, Jack, you cannot!” she cried. Later she tried to pull herself together and drank a cup of the tea. She went through Jack’s clothes and found some money. It was strange-looking, some of it English and some French. She wondered how much a room cost and if she had enough coins to pay for it. Jack needed medical attention…oh, God, she thought, they’ll bleed him! She remembered being on the Surprise and Dr. Maturin treating patients. But people did survive. They did, she thought.

She dropped her head in her hand and cried for Terry and for Jacky. Would she ever see them again? How would she ever get back to them? Jack would know; he had to live. She woke in the bed beside  Jack and immediately her situation dawned. Jack was still sleeping and she quietly went downstairs to find somebody to help her with him. It was the woman she found and understood her name to be Nathalie. She needed help with Jack and once again the woman climbed the stairs and had a look at him, accompanied by much shaking of the head and clicking of her tongue. She left and came back a little later with a tray of things. Toni watched her mix up something and smelled it, mustard. Nathalie was making a mustard plaster to spread over his chest. She indicated Toni was to hit him on his back when he began to cough.

For the next three days Toni applied the mustard plasters and a hot flannel to Jack’s chest. Nathalie brought her a basin for him and at last he began to cough up the beast in his chest.  Toni bathed him and combed out his hair, tenderly caring for him. He was not unaware of her and on the 4^th day he caught her hand as she began smearing the plaster on his chest.

“I know it burns, love, but it’s working and it’s all I have. You have to get well, Jack.”

That night his fever broke. He was bathed in sweat when he came to his senses and opened his eyes. The room was dark except for a glow from the fireplace. He did not know where he was and when he turned his head on the pillow he saw the form beside him under blankets and reached out his hand, touching her.

Toni was immediately awake and sat up. “Jack?”

“Toni, my God, what?”

“Oh, Jack, thank God you’re back.”

“How are you here? Where is here?”

“You don’t remember being rescued from the chateau?”

“Yes, I remember the rope, nothing after that. Where are we?”

“I’m not sure. We’re still in France but, Jack, we didn’t make it through the magic window.” Toni told him what had happened on the road and how she drove the carriage until she found the inn. “You’ve been so sick, Jack. I think you’ve had pneumonia.”

“How long have we been here?”

“Five days.”

“Good Lord!” He dropped his head back on the pillow. “Terry must be beside himself. We must get you home.”

“Yes, and we will but not until you’re well and whole again. I’ve been so worried about you, Jack. You nearly died.”

Jack looked at her. “You saved my life. I am forever in your debt, Toni.”

“No, all debts are paid. You gave me Terry’s life and my own.” Toni got out of bed, found the basin and a cloth and bathed his face and neck.

“You have cared for me all this time?”

“Yes.”

“I love you, Toni.”

“I know, Jack. I love you, too. Sleep now and tomorrow we will try and get you up.” Toni cuddled next to him and slept soundly for the first time in five days.

The next morning she got Jack up and into a chair then stripped the bed, carrying the dirty linens down to the wash tub for a soak. She found Nathalie and told her Jack was up. She’d become quite fond of Nathalie, a widow with a ten year old son who helped her with the inn. She sold eggs and butter and with the income from the inn did well. Nathalie had found her some clothes left behind, she said, by a patron a year ago. For Jack she also gave her two nightshirts that had belonged to her husband. Toni came back upstairs with clean linens for the bed and Nathalie followed with a rich chicken broth and bread for Jack.

She sat on the arm of his chair and spoon-fed him the broth. He was still very weak but could have fed himself. He liked her taking care of him. “I am a limp rag, my pet.”

“Not so limp.” She stuck the spoon in his mouth, remembering his earlier bath. He met her eyes and smiled.

“How are you managing in this era?”

“So far so good. Nathalie has been my guide and mentor. I’ve learned to do laundry and to cook rustic.”

“The clothes suit you.” He admired her breasts straining the neckline of her dress. The thought crossed his mind he could keep  her here. “I wonder what became of Stephen. You said he was with Terry.”

“He may still be for all I know. I think we need to do an exchange.”

“Quite right! Enough of that, pet.”

“Nonsense! You will finish this broth.”

“You have become quite bossy, ordering me around, do this do that.”

“I want you well and strong again.”

“And when I am, what will you do?”

Toni looked into his blue eyes. “I will give you what you need.”

“It is you I need.”

“Yes.” She took the bowl away and placed it on the tray. With tears in her eyes she turned to him. He held his arms for her and she went to him and sat on his lap.

“I would not ask anything of you, Toni, anything that you won’t freely give but as God is my witness, I want you. I need you to restore me, restore my spirit.”

Toni kissed him. “I love you, Jack.”

Part 2:

Max and Connie took Terry home with them. He’d lain in the hotel bed for two days staring at the wall until Max got him up and talked to him. Dino went back to Miami and there was no reason to say in Paris. No rescue attempt would be made for Toni. Terry had agreed Jack would get her back when he was able. Stephen came with them to Chateau La Siroque. He felt a fish out of water in Paris but once at the Chateau he began to relax and enjoy the place, leaving in the mornings with a butterfly net, an apple and a sandwich.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want, as long as it takes for her to come back, Terry.” Max and Terry were outside at the iron table with a pot of coffee.

“I appreciate that, Max. I somehow feel closer to her here. I can’t go home without her. I called Munchie and told her we may be gone for awhile. Jacky is doing well and would be with Munchie. He’ll be spoiled rotten by the time we get home.” Terry sipped his coffee.

“I know how hard this is for you. You’re taking it well. I’m not sure I would in your place.”

“I’m not taking it well, Max, but I can’t give up. Do you remember when I told her to love him and give him what he needs? I know she is and, strangely enough, that’s a comfort.”

“You don’t worry, Terry, that she’ll stay with him? He’s strong. You know that.”

“Yes, he is but he also has a sense of honor.” His eyes softened. “And I know Toni. The bond between us is too strong for him to break.”

“You’re a very trusting soul, Terry. Water puts out fire.”

“I trust Toni to do what she needs to for him but I know I have her heart. Nothing he can do can change that. We have to trust one another, Max, and we have to love each other. We aren’t totally separate beings, you know. We call ourselves brothers but we’re more than that.”

“I know all that. We share thoughts and feelings. John has a daughter. Did he tell you?”

“Yeah, he’s a happy man now. I was surprised at the move, though. I thought he was dyed-in-the-wool Alaskan.”

“He fell in love with the House as I did and one time when we were all there together I remember something he said about never seeing four seasons. He was winter and I think he longed for something else. He’ll get that in Maine. And then, too, I think he did it for Donna. There’s another strong bond.”

“I’m glad all that got sorted out. She’s a sweet girl and strong enough to stand up to John. He needs somebody beside him to face the world.”

“As do we all.”

“You got it right with Connie.”

“I believe I have but she won’t marry me, says she doesn’t need that piece of paper.”

“Do you need it, Max?” Terry looked at him.

“I’m not sure if 'need' is the right word. I just have a fear of it all slipping away. I will never forget that week I spent in London after you and Toni went home. I was totally alone and isolated and made worse because I’d spent that time with Toni while you were drugged and kidnapped. I was okay when I was with her and she came over here with me. But later it was like the bottom fell out of my life.”

“If circumstances had been different we would have stayed with you but as it was I needed that time with her.”

“I know you did but it’s worked out. Connie was waiting for me. I just had to find her.”

“You think I should be looking for Toni, don’t you?”

“Yes…I do. I feel the same love for Jack that you do. I’m just not as trusting as you are. He was very ill. He’s not now. You do know that?”

“Yeah, I do but he’s healing within and without. Toni is okay with him.”

“You never extended that privilege to me.”

“You had the opportunity, mate. I wouldn’t have minded. Look where we came from.”

“I couldn’t do it. I wanted to, came very close a number of times, but something stopped me and it wasn’t always her.”

Terry smiled. “Are you telling me you are an honorable man, Max?”

“Bollocks!  I hope not.”

“I wouldn’t know where to begin to look for Toni. They could be anywhere. I have a feeling they will eventually come here. I don’t know why, just do.”

“It’s a long way from Paris, Terry, and they’ll more than likely be in that carriage or on horseback. It could take a long time. I’m talking months and that’s too long to wait, I’m telling you. She doesn’t need months with Jack. You’re a loving and generous soul, Terry, but that is too much. I’m willing to help you in any way I can.”

“You sound like an older brother.” Terry lit a cigarette.

“What the fuck do you think I am? I’m trying to look out for you and for Toni, too.”

“Maturin, he may be the magic key we need to get through that door.”

“Now you’re talking sense. We’ll speak with him tonight.”

Part 3:

“Charenton. That has a nice sound to it. At least now I know where we are.”

“Toni,  you could have asked the same questions.” Jack and Toni were walking in a field behind the inn.

“Not with my French. Are you tired? Should we go back?” Toni had gotten him out of the house now two days in a row. His color was coming back but he was still in a weakened state.

“We could sit under that tree and enjoy a bottle of wine.”

“Yes, we could.” She held his hand as they walked back to the courtyard where a rustic wooden table and benches were arranged under a tree. She went inside for a bottle and a couple of cups.

“Now that I’m up, Toni, I’ve been thinking we really must get out of France. It’s not safe here.”

“You’re only just up, Jack. I don’t think you’re ready for a journey yet.”

“We cannot stay here indefinitely, and I long for English soil if I must be on land.”

“Why were you on land to begin with? You never told me why you were in Paris.”

“At present I do not have a ship and was home at Ashgrove. Stephen came for a visit and was asked to give a speech on some species of bird in Paris. They’re big on that sort of thing. Having nothing else to do, I accompanied him. We’d been to the opera with a lady and her party and upon leaving, Stephen was accosted on the street. I went to his aide and was attacked and knocked out. We were thrown into a filthy cell for a couple of days and then moved to La Fontaine.”

“It must have been horrible! No wonder you became so ill.”

“I was low before I came to Paris, Toni, not ill in body but in spirit. The Seine is not far from here, perhaps a day’s ride. We might catch a boat or a barge.”

“You want to get to the sea, don’t you?”

“Aye, I do. We can get passage to England.”

“Jack, you mean to take me with you?”

“You don’t think I’d leave you here alone, do you, pet?”

“I wouldn’t want you to go off and leave me alone.”

“Have no fear of that. I will take care of you. Haven’t I always done so?”

“Yes, you have.” Toni sipped her wine.

Later they walked to the stables. Jack wanted to see the horse and carriage that brought them to the inn.

“And you drove this carriage? I am impressed, Pet, and this is a fine animal, too. You say they appeared in the courtyard?”

“Yes, Max saw it and as you couldn’t walk he loaded us into it and Stephen drove us away to the road back of the forest.”

“It’s odd for so fine a carriage not to have an insignia on the door but there are no markings. Could it be magic, do you think?” He smiled and slipped his arm around her shoulders.

“Like Cinderella’s pumpkin.” Toni walked with him back to the inn and up the stairs.

“You should rest now, Jack. You’re coming along very well.”

Jack sat down and pulled off his boots. “It’s you, you who are bringing me back.” He shrugged off his jacket and Toni came over to pick it up. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him, burying his face in her breasts.

“I cannot sleep with you in the same bed, be with you at all hours and not have you. It’s not in me. Lie with me, Toni, be with me…God knows you have seen me at my very worst and still you are here. Could you not love me for awhile?” He looked up and met her eyes.

‘Give him what he needs’ rang through her head. “You know I love you, always loved you….”

He pulled her on top of him, kissed her deeply, rolled her over and kissed her again. He found the strength to make love to her and slept at her side. Toni did not sleep. She lay there in his arms and  a flood of memories came back to her of Jack...the first time he’d made love to her when she was mourning the loss of John, his passion. And then there were times it was slow and sweet.  He was like the sea, raging in intensity one  time and calm the next but underneath was that strength, that knowledge that he could if he wanted to, flood them all. She’d always known this about him and wondered why he hadn’t. He’d only really given himself to her once when it was his season, the spring she spent with him when she’d asked for him.  He was like a wave pulling back, back into the sea and not crashing forward. What would happen when he did? Would he, could she, stand up to it if he did?

She sighed and moved her face into his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of him, the feel of him against her body. He filled her.

“We must leave. I know you are comfortable here but we cannot stay. I am at risk here and so is our landlady.”

It was three days later, after they’d become intimate, and Jack was ready to be on the road. Toni was hesitant go to into the unknown and somewhere inside her she felt closer to Terry here because it was the last place she’d seen him.

“Where will we go?”

“To Cherbourg, the closest port to Plymouth. It will be a long trip, pet, and not without danger.”

“Not to Provence?”

Napoleon’s forces are strong in the Mediterranean. Any ship I might get passage on there would most certainly be at war. I would not put you in that position, Toni.”

“If we go to Cherbourg and then to England, how will you get me home, Jack?”

“The Surprise should be refitted by now. I shall take you home aboard ship.” Whether he could do this or not he did not know. It would depend on his Admiral’s orders. He knew what he was doing, was not proud of it and yet he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “You are with child, I know, to get home. I will try and get you there.”

“With child? I hope not.”

“It is merely a figure of speech, picked up from Stephen.”

“And what about Stephen? How do you plan to get him back? I know you long for England but if we could get to Provence...”

“It’s not that I long for England. I cannot stay in France. My country is at war with France. I know it’s hard for you to understand but you are in my world, Toni. There are no cars to get you about, no phones to call for help. Your country has been at war. Would you go to an enemy’s country and travel about? That is what it is for me.”

“I wonder why you stay in it then, why would you not let me take you out?” There, she’d asked the question that had been on her mind.

Jack prowled the room and came up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “You would have, I know, but I could not live in your world for very long, Toni. I am like the others, a figment of someone’s imagination, perhaps a book or a screenplay, but there are twenty-odd books written about me. I do not just exist on the screen. That is not all there is to my life. I know what I am and it is true I can move from one world to the other but I only come into yours for you. This is where I belong; this is who I am. You are here because I needed you and wanted you here. Just as I have come to you, you have come to me.”

“You called for me?”

“I did, indeed, when I was sick and imprisoned.”

“But I can’t do this, Jack! I have a husband and a child.”

“You have done it. In my own weakness, I called out for you. I’ve never done that before. Where do you think the carriage came from and how was is that it was not noticed by those inside the house? Had Stephen not stepped off the carriage he would be here now with us.”

“You would have died had I not come. Stephen would have most likely gone back to Paris and there would have been no mustard plasters from him.”

“This is true, pet. I am sorry to have put you through this. I do love you, Toni. Your world or mine, I love you.” He held her closely and kissed her. “Do not think ill of me for wanting to keep you in mine.”

“I could never think ill of you. I love you, Jack, but I cannot stay in your world.”

“I will take you to Provence, to Max, and I expect him to rake me alongside. He can, you know, but he is the only one.”

“I’ve thought you could drown us all if you wanted to.”

“Not Max. One cannot drown air and I need him. You, my darling, are the sun. Did you not know that? Strongest in summer...did I ever say I was surprised you chose Terry over Max. I was, although I knew you loved Terry the last spring we spent together. He lit your fire, I believe, and I shall be forever grateful to him for that.” He kissed her again, running his hands over her hips.

“He’s on our minds today, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he’s having second thoughts about allowing me access to you. He is a smart man.” He gave her bottom a pat.

“Then we should go, Jack.”

“I have found a little boat. We shall go downriver to Marseilles and you will go to Max.”

“You had this planned.”

Jack smiled. “I had to try, Toni.”

She smiled back, “Why are you sending me to Max? Why not Terry?”

“Max lives in Provence, does he not?”

“Yes, he does. I just thought maybe Terry was still in France.”

“ He is, pet, but it is Max you will find.”

Part 4:

“You think he would head for England?” Max asked Stephen Maturin.

“Yes, of course an English Captain is not a popular fellow here in France.” Stephen sipped the wine Max had poured and nibbled the cheese and biscuits.

“How would he get there? What direction do you think he’d take?” Terry asked.

“Perhaps Cherbourg. It would be a short trip over to Plymouth where he could get a coach. That is what I would do. You know I really do not know what is in his mind. He was very ill the last I saw of him and you say he is still alive. Knowing Jack, he would go by horseback if available. That would be the fastest way for him to travel.”

“Yes, but he has Toni with him and they have the carriage.”

“You don’t know that, Terry, about the carriage. It was left without a driver.”

“Toni would have driven it, but where I have no clue, Max.”

“Back to Paris, from there a road to Cherbourg. It would have been the quickest route. Of course she would have had to stop somewhere with Jack,” Stephen replied.

“It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, and how would you find them anyway?”

“Well, Max, this was your idea. What would you do?”

“Instead of looking all over France in the year 2009, I think I’d go to Plymouth and wait.”

Terry took a drink of his wine. “Why do you think he’d go to Cherbourg instead of some other port on the coast, like Marseilles or Brest?”

“There are King’s ships in the channel.”

“What are  you thinking, Terry?” Max asked

“Thinking Stephen and I might go to Cherbourg and if nothing's there, over to Plymouth. Have a look, ya know. I’m not up for sitting in Plymouth for any length of time. It’s been almost four weeks since they disappeared. Stephen needs to get back, too, and I need to go home. I’ve got a baby that needs a daddy.”

“You’re not giving up are you, Terry?” Max was concerned.

“I’m not giving up. She’ll turn up when Jack’s ready for her to. I never thought he’d do this, Max.”

“I’m not defending him, Terry, but transportation is not easy in his time. What takes us a couple of hours  to fly from A to B could take a month for him. And remember, he was sick. There’s no way to know how long it took him to get in shape to travel."

Stephen spoke up. “I have never  known him not to do the right and honorable thing. Perhaps it is as Max says. It’s the time it takes to travel.”

Terry lit a cigarette, got up from the table and walked over to the wall overlooking the vineyards below. He was half pissed at himself and at Jack and half worried that something had happened to them. He knew now he should never have let Toni come to France with him. Max was right. Jack was stronger than the rest of them, definitely stronger than he was.  And yet Jack had saved his life twice. He’d fought side by side with him. He’d trusted him enough to send Toni to him.

Max walked over to him and sat down on the wall. “What is it, Terry?”

“I can’t figure him out.”

“He’s not like the rest of us, that I know, and I don’t think it’s just the era he’s from, though that may have something to do with it. He has her in his world right now but I don’t think he will keep her, Terry, if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t think Toni would allow that and he respects her enough to do what she wants. I’m willing to hear him out…before I kick his ass.”

“Thinking about that are ya?” Terry smirked. “I dunno, Max. It’s my fault for bringing her along. She can be quite…stubborn where her seasons are concerned. I think I’m going to chip away at that a little. No offense but I think there are more important things in her life right now, or should be.”

“None taken. Connie was surprised she’d left her baby and come over. I know…it’s Jack.”

“She would have done the same for you, Max.”

“Or John. I saw them together in Virginia.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that. Sometimes I think I’ve only got a finger hold. One slip and I’m out.”

“Come on, Terry! You know better than that! You’re just down right now and worried.  She chose you and that’s that. You have her heart, remember that. So are you going to Cherbourg?”

“Yeah, tomorrow I’ll find some kind of flight out if I have to lease a plane. I think I’ll feel better doing something than just sitting around depleting your wine cellar. I love this place, by the way. I can see why you want to stay here rather than in London.”

“The wine cellar is bottomless. I love it, too, Terry. It’s a different life here, kind of like yours in Virginia. Any plans to go to London anytime soon?”

“When I get Toni home I’m not fucking going anywhere for awhile, so if you screw up over here you’re on your own.”

“I’ve been very lucky in that regard.  The worst time I’ve had was that time in London and I managed to get myself out of that. I don’t put myself out there looking for trouble or getting myself into dangerous situations. I like it easy, or maybe I’m just lazy.”

“Could be you’re just smarter than the rest of us.”

“Not quite. You  bloody well one-upped me, remember.”

“Ah, Max, you were just having a bad day and it happened to be my lucky day.” Terry grinned and slapped Max’s shoulder.

Max looked over at Stephen, still at the table apparently dozing. “What will you do with him?”

“I’m not sure. If he finds a portal, wave good-bye, I guess. You know I don’t think he was meant to be with us. If he’d waited a minute longer on the carriage…”

“Why did he get off?”

“He said to get someone to carry Jack. I don’t like this time warp thing. We’re sitting here thinking Jack can just walk through. It may not be that easy.”

“He hasn’t had a problem before.”

“No, but there were different circumstances, mate. One of us was in trouble, mostly me. It was a brother-to-brother thing like when we went through to save his ass.”

“Which you executed very well, by the way. You aren’t just looking for things to worry about are you, Terry?”

“I don’t have to look far, do I?”

“Connie’s back.” Max watched her park her car and get out. “Her father wants my grapevines. He’s making an illegal wine with my grapes and selling it for piles of money.”

“Tell him to fuck off.”

“I pretty much have…Hi, love.” Max received a kiss.

Connie turned to Terry. “You look like you could use a hug.” She put her arms around him, hugged him and kissed him on the cheeks in the French fashion.

“I needed that. Thanks, Connie,” he smiled at her.

“I guess there’s no news?”

“No news, luv,” Terry replied.

“He and Stephen are going to Cherbourg tomorrow and maybe over to Plymouth.”

“I wish you luck, Terry. I know this must be tearing you apart. Is there anything I can do, any place I can go for you?”

“I don’t know of anything, but thanks, Connie.”

“Need a ride to the airport?”

“I’ll take them in the morning. You’ll still be riding your bike,” Max replied.

Part 5:

It was late afternoon before Terry could get a flight out with Stephen and then it was not a direct flight. He was frustrated and aggravated by the time he boarded. Max had stayed with them in case Terry gave up and wanted to go back to La Siroque. He’d consumed many beers while waiting and called Connie, who told him under no circumstances was he to drive home. So he got a hotel room for the night. Not wanting to sit in a hotel room, he went out to walk the streets and find a bite to eat.

Something woke him early in the morning. He wasn’t sure what it was. A look out of his window and he saw the sun was just a suggestion, the street lights still on. He dressed quickly and left the room. Following an instinct, he headed for the canal. A heavy mist lay across the canal and a quickening in his stomach told him this was no ordinary mist. He left the bridge and made his way down to the bank next to the canal.

“This is the last time I will have you. It has been a sweet journey, pet.”  Jack moved off Toni and propped himself on his arm.

“It has been, Jack. I’ll never forget it.” She ran her hand down his face and touched his lips with her fingertips.” It’s come to an end all too quickly.”

“We must get up and dress. The fog is here to see us through.”

Toni dressed in her jeans and sweater and boots and walked out on the deck of the little sailboat that had brought them down the river. Jack dressed and joined her. He manned the tiller, moving them into the canal.

“Where will we go?” she asked, moving next to him.

“Wherever the fog takes us, pet. I do not know these waters.”

“You told me I would see Max. Is he here somewhere?”

“Yes, he waits.”

“How does he know?”

Jack smiled, “The same way I do. He feels it. He’s drawn by instinct. Is that a bridge ahead?”

“I thinks so.”  Jack took her face in his hand and kissed her.

“Welcome back to your world, Toni.”

The fog cleared enough so they could see the bank and a man standing there with his hands in his pockets. Jack maneuvered the boat to the bank and threw out a line to Max. He grabbed it and wrapped it around a pylon.

Jack took a breath. “Good morning, Max.”

“You…”

“Yes, I bring you Toni. She is sound and well.”

Max helped Toni onto the bank and reached out to help Jack. “You look fit enough,” he remarked.

“I am restored to myself.”

“Toni?”

“I’m fine, Max.”

“I have a hotel room if you’d care to go there.”

“Are you angry, Max?” Toni asked.

“I’m not sure what I’m feeling. It’s this way.” He led them across the bridge and up the steps to the hotel.

Stopping in the lobby, he ordered coffee for their room and led the way to the elevator. He stood very close to Toni and looked into her eyes. “You should shower. You smell like Jack.”

Toni held her breath a moment. “I will. We need to talk.”

“Oh, yes, we are going to talk.” He turned and exited the elevator.

Jack had not said a word. He knew what was coming and thought he probably deserved it. Max was going to broadside him.

Once in his room Toni went straight to the shower. She’d had no soap in two weeks and no shampoo since she left the hotel in Paris. Turning on the shower full force she got in and soaped head to toe, aware she was washing Jack from her body.

After the coffee arrived Max poured out a cup. “It’s been a month since you were taken from the prison, Jack. Where the hell have you been?”

“Well, it was a week before I knew where I was. I was very ill, Max, and if it weren’t for Toni I should be dead. According to what she’s told me, she found an inn and fortunately a gracious landlady. It was located some ways from the chateau where I was imprisoned. I have little memory past climbing down the rope at the chateau until I woke from a fever in the inn a week later.”  Jack poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Once I started to regain my strength I began to inquire about the area and found we were not far from the Seine. I acquired a boat and we set off.”

“You could have let us know. I know you can do this…you shut down, didn’t you? Why? While you’re cruising down the river I’ve had Terry coming apart at the seams. He’s gone now to Cherbourg with Maturin to look for his wife. He spent all day yesterday trying to get a flight out and here you show up this morning.

“To Cherbourg…why?”

“Because Maturin said that’s where you’d go to get across the channel to England. You thought about it, didn’t you, keeping her?”

“I brought her to Provence, which is where she wanted to go.”

“You could have brought her out, couldn’t you, at anytime/ You can do that. You bloody well flooded her, didn’t you? God damn you, Jack!”

Jack lifted his chin. “Yes, I did. I needed her, Max. She’s made me whole again.”

“You don’t think Terry needs her and her son needs his mother? How could you do this?”

“She is unharmed…I love her, Max, and she is innocent of any wrong doing. Do not heap anything upon her.  She is unaware of what I have done.”

“He saved your fucking life and you took his wife…”

“They have both saved my life and I have taken nothing from him. She is his.” Jack set his cup down. “I will take my leave of you. I am near the sea. I will get home somehow.”

“Terry is a loving and generous soul, Jack. He trusted you with Toni.”

Yes, he did and I have brought her back unharmed to him. It is you, Max, who is making more out of this than is necessary. I understand Terry’s anguish but he gave me leave of her. It’s not something you would have done. I can see this. Do not think ill of me. Had you been in my place I think you would have blown the landscape clear to bring her to you. Yes, I know what you are capable of. Perhaps you are a better person than I am or perhaps not. This ill wind does neither of us any good.”

“It bothers me but I was full, Jack. I had to unload on you. I’ve had Terry with me while you’ve had Toni and he was all right with it for awhile but as time wore on, he wasn’t.  I think you owe him an explanation.” Max flopped down in a chair.

“Will you contact him and tell him I am here?”

“I will, yes, but why not come home with me?”

“No, take Toni with you. I will stay in Marseilles for awhile. If he comes I will find him and Stephen.”

“He’s not going to be happy having flown to Cherbourg for nothing.”

“I think he will be happier knowing  that I had not been through Cherbourg.  I will leave you now. Take care of her, Max.”

“You know I will, Jack. Take care of yourself and be careful while you’re in France.”

Jack left and Max felt strangely deflated. He’d said what needed to be said and Jack took it, but whether it made an impression he had no idea. It occurred to him that Toni had been in the bath for a long time and he got up and knocked on the door.

“Toni, is everything all right?”

He heard her sobs through the door and opened it. She’d wrapped herself in the hotel robe and was sitting on top of the toilet seat, crying.

“Hey, love," he went down on a knee, “what’s this?”

“I heard part of it. Oh, Max, what have I done?”

“You haven’t done anything, Toni, nothing you had any control over.”

“Where is Jack?”

“He’s gone. Come with me. I’ll get you a coffee.” He stood up, pulled her to her feet and she fell into him.

“Oh, Toni!” He held her, running his hand over her wet head.

Toni tried pulling herself together and stood back, wiping her face on the sleeve of the terrycloth robe. “You must think me a horrible person for the last two weeks. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I think nothing of the kind. It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. You’re okay, aren’t you?”

“Um, yes, you said coffee?”

Max looked into her eyes. He didn’t think she was okay but he led her out of the bathroom and fixed her coffee for her.

“You’re angry…”

“Not anymore, and not ever at you.”

“Terry?”

“I need to call him and let him know I have you. He’ll want to talk to you. Are you up for it?”

“Give me a minute…I want to tell you how it was, Max.”

“I don’t need to know. You nursed him back to health…and he flooded you, displaced everything but himself. We can all do that, you know. Terry does, he fills you with his fire. You don’t own me an explanation, Toni.”

“What you said in the elevator…I’ve not had soap…I”

“Toni, ah shit, I’m sorry I said that,” he sighed. “I was upset with Jack and you did smell of him. I’m not some pompous ass. I don’t want to be. Don’t let me be that way with you. I know you’ve been through an ordeal. Jack aside, it’s not been easy for you, has it?”

“Well, little things like soap, shampoo, things we don’t think about, sugar for  my coffee, cleanliness…no bathtubs or showers. I ate well because the landlady Nathalie cooked. The last two weeks was not so easy to find something to eat, but we were careful with what we did find.”

“Breakfast? I’ll order you everything from the menu, some juice, maybe some milk. Do you want milk?”

“Max.”

“Toni, let me take care of you.” Max ordered full breakfasts for both of them and then he called Terry.

“Did I wake you up?”

“Ah, no, I was awake. What time is it?”

“7:30. Terry, I have Toni with me here in Marseilles. Jack brought her this morning at daybreak. She’s okay, a few mosquito bites, but she’s here.”

“In Marseilles…this morning/ Where’s Jack?”

“He’s still in town somewhere. He said he’d find you and Stephen if you can come back.”

“So he’s not there with you?”

“No, I don’t think he wanted to be. Toni’s here.”

“Put her on?”

“He wants to talk to you.” Max handed Toni the phone.

“Terry…oh, Terry.”

“Toni, are you okay?”

“Yes…and no.”

“Oh, luv, I’m so glad you’re back! Um, I need to see about flight arrangements. Can you stay there with Max until I call back? I’m going to try and get to you today, honey…I love you.”

“I love you, Terry. I’ll  be with Max until you come. I’ll let you go now,”

“Toni, don’t ever let me go.”

“No, never will I, Terry.”

Part 6:

Jack was able to find lodging above a tavern and cleaned himself up as best he could. A good meal under his vest and he felt much better. He still didn’t have his former strength back but it would come, of that he had no doubt. He sat with a glass of port and thought about his meeting with Max that morning. Max had been angry with him and he supposed with good reason, but there was something else going on with Max, too. He suspected it was Toni. Max had never got over losing her to Terry. He wondered if Max’s feelings for Connie  would ever really take that away. It was possible to love two women, that he knew to be a fact, for he did love Sophie.

Toni, he sighed and took a drink from his glass. The two weeks they’d spent sailing down the river to Marseilles had been magical. Yes, he had flooded her, pushed out anyone but himself, but it had been worth it. She hadn’t complained about the inconveniences, the lack of food or anything. If he felt guilty for anything it was that he hadn’t been able to provide for her. And now he was awaiting the husband, his brother. He would find out what Terry’s feelings were from him without Max superimposing his own over what Terry felt. Terry had saved his life, getting him out of that prison, and perhaps they were even now. He finished his drink and went upstairs, looking forward to a bed to sleep in after the straw mattress he and Toni had shared in the boat.

Max took Toni shopping. She’d thrown her underwear away weeks ago and only had her jeans and the black sweater she’d worn when Terry had rescued Jack. He bought what she needed to get back to the chateau where her luggage waited. Toni picked up some toiletries and a hairbrush. She’d worn her hair braided with Jack. It seemed the easiest thing to do.

Terry called back, saying it would be eight o’clock in the evening before they would be arriving, a long and frustrating day for him in Cherbourg following Maturin around through art galleries and museums. Max had arranged to stay another night and called Connie to let her know what was going on. She was glad to hear Toni was back safe and sound. Max wasn’t sure how sound she was.

They were in his hotel room after lunch and Toni was brushing her hair.

“I’d never seen you in braids before,” he said, flopping on the bed and pushing a pillow behind his back.

“Jack braided it. I had no shampoo and conditioner. I couldn’t keep it clean.”

“Could you have lived with Jack in that time Toni, if he’d kept you?”

“He wasn’t going to keep me. I could have but it would have been very difficult for me to get used to life there. I tried. I had no choice. The landlady gave me a bag of clothes left there by somebody and I washed them and had to wear them. I couldn’t wear a pair of jeans around.”

Max tilted his head. “I’d like to have seen you in period dress.”

“I didn’t have the proper under things to wear with the dresses. I probably looked rather wanton.”

“Did you feel that way, wanton?”

Toni put her brush down and moved up on the bed beside him. “What a question, Max. Have you ever known me to be that way?”

“No, I don’t know why I said that.”

“Is that what you think of me now because I spent time with Jack? Was it a year ago I was with you, Terry, John and Jack? Was I wanton then?”

“No,” he pushed hair over her shoulder, “you were and are lovely.”

“We aren’t like other people, Max, people we see on the streets. We haven’t lived their lives and nobody has lived ours. Don’t think bad thoughts about me, Max. I don’t think I could stand that.”

“I don’t, Toni, but I think about all the times I wanted to do what Jack did…and didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do that even at the Chateau when I asked and you said no. I could have taken you and you wouldn’t have known what hit you. Terry said he wouldn’t have minded.”

“You told him that?”

“Yes, I did. Maybe it’s because you were carrying his child. I love you, Toni, but you aren’t mine anymore. You belong to Terry and whether he minds or not, I do. I don’t think that makes me better than anyone else.”

“You’re right there. You aren’t. I wouldn’t have minded either, Max. I wanted you in London, needed you. I’ve spent more time with you than anybody. We know each other inside and out. I spent that time with you because I loved you and still do. You think that stopped? Do you think I don’t remember? You come near me like you are now and the familiar scent of you stirs me.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” he grinned.

“Would I have to try?”

“You are a dangerous woman. I wonder…does Terry know what he has?”

“Oh, yes, he knows. He’s responsible.”

“I’m going to kiss you.”

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t”

Later he took her to dinner and as they sipped their wine and perused the menu he wondered if she would tell Terry about their afternoon in his hotel room. She probably would but he knew he would not tell Connie. Not that he felt any guilt and he was surprised that he didn’t. He would always be Toni’s season and he would be there for her when she needed him.

Back at the hotel Toni moved her things down the hall to a room Max had gotten for her and Terry. Max came with her. “I should go to the airport to pick them up?”

“A taxi would be faster and no parking problems. Where is your car anyway?”

“In the underground garage. I don’t know if he will come straight here or meet with Jack.”

“Jack is probably in bed, Max.”

“This early?”

“It was quite a journey down the river, especially for him. He still gets tired very easily.”

“Then we’ve got Maturin again tonight. I should find him a room, too.”

“Maybe not. He may find Jack. Wait and see.”

“Toni, thanks for this afternoon.”

“Don’t thank me. Just don’t forget who we are.”

“Are you tired? Should I leave you alone for awhile?”

“I’m tired but don’t leave me. It’s been a long day. I was awake long before we met up with you.”

“Why don’t you sleep until Terry gets here?”

Toni did sleep and when she roused it was to hear Max on the phone. She dozed again. The door opened and closed , she felt the bed give way and when she opened her eyes she was looking into Terry’s eyes.

“Hello, luv”

“Terry!” Her arms went around his neck and pulled him down with her. “Oh, honey…”

“I can’t breathe, Toni.” She let up on him a little. “You look good.”

“So do you. I’m so glad you’re here.”

He ran his hand down her body. “You’ve lost some weight. Are you okay, luv, really okay?”

“Yes, I want to go home with you.”

“I’m going to take you home. Tomorrow we’ll go to Max’s for a couple of days and then, Toni, we’re going home for a very long time. I love you.” He kissed her softly.

“I love you more.” Toni wasn’t aware Max was still there until he spoke.

“Terry, what did you do with Maturin?”

“He wanted to go for walk. Maybe he’ll find Jack. I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m that tired of birds and beasts today.”

“I asked them to hold him a room. I’ll cancel it. If he shows up he can bunk with me.”

Terry shifted on the bed. “Max, thanks for looking after Toni for me today.”

Max met his eyes. He knew. “Sure, Terry. It was a pleasure. I’ll leave you alone until morning.”

Just as Max had done the day before, Terry woke early and following his instinct made his way to the banks of the canal. There a little farther back in a clearing he saw Jack.

“You’re looking better than you were the last time I saw you.” Terry walked over to him.

“It was Toni who saw me through, cared for me and made me well again. How are you, Terry?”

“Better now that she’s back. Don’t ever summon her again.”

“No, I will not. Had I not been so ill it wouldn’t have happened. You have been very generous with me. I don’t like to think I took advantage of that but perhaps I did. Whatever you may think of me, I would not give back the last two weeks I spent with her.”

“I wouldn’t have minded had you let me know what you were doing. I began to wonder if I had misjudged you. It was a chilling thought I had that you might not bring her back through to me.”

“She would not have allowed that, Terry. She is very strong and it was always her desire to go to Provence and so I brought her here. I have not thanked you for getting me out of that prison where I would have died in due course. I am in your debt.”

“We’re even, Jack. Let’s keep it that way. Is Maturin with you?”

“I left him at the tavern where I found lodging. We will  take that little boat through the canal to the sea and find passage to England. Toni and I came down the river in that boat and it took us two weeks to get here. Think what you will of me.”

“We understand each other, Jack. I wish you a safe passage…brother.” He went to shake Jack’s hand and Jack hugged him.

“Thank you, Terry, for everything.”

Terry untied the boat from the pylon and tossed Jack the rope, watching, him set the sail and move out into the misty canal. Looking up where the first hint of dawn paled the sky he smiled to himself. He’d not been wrong about that bond he shared with Toni.

He jogged back across the bridge to the hotel where she waited for him.

ON TO THORNE: WHERE I WANT TO BE

BACK TO AUBREY: DANGEROUS SHOALS

BACK TO BIEBE: WAITING FOR THE FREEZE

BACK TO SKINNER: LONDON MAGIC

BACK TO SKINNER: BOUQUET

BACK TO SKINNER: FINDING GROUND

BACK TO SKINNER: COLD REALITY

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